Love, Lies & The D.A. (10 page)

In the
bags he brought home earlier are two cell phones that the SFPD know nothing
about, just in case they’ve tapped my phone. One is for him and the other is
for me. At least once it rings, I will always know who’s calling. I’ll call it
my
Bobbyphone
. In another is my medication. In the third is a
gift-wrapped box. I have no clue what it is. He tells me I can open it tomorrow
after I return from dropping him off at the airport.

Brunch
the next
day is uneventful and void of Jonathan Kole. I’ve been
quiet since I woke up, and although I sit with food spread out on the table in
front me, I have zero appetite.

“You’re
not going to force me to keep tabs on you to make sure you eat, are you?”

I force
a smile. “Of course not. You’re going to be overwhelmed with your cases and
engagement plans, then wedding plans. You won’t even remember.”

“She
hasn’t said yes yet.”

“She
will.”

I’m
not going to eat, at least not right now. I’ll get them to box the rest of the
food.

We
drive to the airport in complete silence. Since Bobby’s not on a commercial
flight, he will go through security, get on the jet, and within minutes, he’ll
be in the air. As we approach the airport, he tells me I can drop him off at
the terminal, but even though he’ll be in the air within a matter of minutes, I
want to squeeze in the most amount of time I can with him. I park the car and
walk him to the gate.

I hope
for a long security check line, but when we arrive, two people are in front of
him. He gives me this sad look, and I realize this goodbye must be hard for him
too. It has never been this difficult before, but I suppose we’ve never had to
say goodbye under such difficult circumstances.

One
person is left, and he has to go through the normal security ritual—remove
shoes, belt, things in your pockets, etcetera. I don’t want to, but I know it’s
time, and as he wraps his arms around me, I can’t stop the tears from falling.

“Don’t
cry, Sweetie. It’s going to be okay. I’m just a phone call away if you need
me.”

“I
know,” I whisper. “I love you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.”

“I
love you too,” he says then kisses me on my forehead. “Go ahead. I’ll be okay from
here. I’ll call you…”

I look
at him and nod but can’t find any words. I slowly walk to the car, and by the
time I turn around, he’s gone.

I get
into the car; my eyes burn from all my tears. I’ve been sitting here for twenty
minutes, and I still can’t stop. Then I see the jet taxiing unto the small runway
strip. Five minutes later, the jet is in the air. He’s gone.

I sit,
my head leaning back into my seat. I close my eyes and try not the think of
what’s going on in my life. I try not to remember what I walked in on, I try
not to remember Ian telling me Richard was dead, I try not to remember the
police thinking I’m responsible for his murder, and again the tears come
tumbling down.

The
warmth on my face has changed; it feels like someone is blocking my sun. I open
my eyes and somebody’s staring down at me. After my eyes readjust, I recognize
him—Jonathan. I quickly wipe away my tears. I want to be left alone, but he
leaves me with no choice. He refuses to leave. I crack my window open.

“Jada,
are you alright?”

I look
at him and I nod, but I suspect my face tells a different story.

“I’m
fine,” I manage to say. “I want to be alone.”

“You’re
in no condition to be left alone.”

I look
at him, and I completely break down. I didn’t realize my doors were unlocked
until he opens the door and crouches in front of me.

“What’s
wrong?” he asks, placing his hands over mine.

I know
I can’t trust him. So much is wrong right now. The only thing I can say is, “My
brother left.”

“But
you’ll see him again.”

I know
he’s right, but those are eleven-days-of-absolute-misery tears. I’m sure he
knows what’s going on. He can figure this out for himself.

“I’m
going to be fine. I just need to be alone,” I respond, trying hard to put up a
valiant front.

“You’re
not fine. I can’t leave you here like this. I’ll drive you home. My brother can
follow us in my car.”

“No.
That’s not a good idea.”

“Let
me help you.”

“I am
not your responsibility. Now please leave.”

“If
you prefer, I can call the police and have them come drive you, but I will not
let you drive to your house like this.”

I stare
at him. I feel like I have to make a decision one way or another. I hesitate.
Reluctantly, I give in. After a while, I finally relinquish my seat to him and
slip into the passenger seat. He walks over to his car and speaks to his
brother. Moments later, we drive down Lincoln Highway in silence.

I
wonder what Bobby would say if he found out about this. My tears have ceased. I
feel something has changed between Jonathan and me, but I can’t articulate what
it is. I try to figure out what I will say when we arrive at the house. I
wonder if I should invite him in. I then remember all the stuff left on the
coffee table—the new cell phone box and the SIM card. I can’t allow him to see
anything that I want kept from the police. I have to view him and the police as
the same entity. Them, against me.

 Perhaps
I should thank him outside and let it be. Starting a relationship of any kind
with Jonathan Kole is something I should never entertain. It would only end in
disaster. It’s already bad enough as it is. This has the potential to put
father against son, and that would put some sort of strain on even the best
relationship.

We
pull into my driveway. I open the garage door, and he pulls in and switches off
the vehicle. His brother follows closely behind.

He
turns and looks sadly at me. “Are you going to be okay?”

“I’ll
be fine. Thank you for doing this.”

He
covers my hand with his. “It will be okay,” he says, gazing at me.

I’m
not sure at this point if he’s talking about Bobby’s departure or the disaster
I face. I fake a smile but say nothing. There is an awkward silence between us,
and the car is suddenly filled with an unusual intense energy. I don’t know how
else to explain it. His hand tightens over mine, and my mind starts to run
wild. I see him kissing me… his hands roam over my body…

I
realize that I have to stop whatever this thing is that’s developing. I pull my
hand away and reach for the bag of food on the back seat of the car. As I do,
he leans over, places his hand gently on my profile, and kisses me softly on my
cheek. A bolt of energy runs through my body, and then I realize that I want to
kiss him—kiss-him-on-the-lips type of kiss. Out of nowhere, Bobby’s voice
haunts me,
he likes you and I’m certain you like him too.

This
is not happening. I jolt away from him.

“I
have to go,” I finally say then anxiously open the door.

He
steps out of the car and shuts the door. He fishes a card out of his pocket
then says, “Please call me if you need anything.”

Why?
So you can help build a case against me.

“Look,
Jonathan, I appreciate you doing this. However, you and I both know the reasons
we should stay as far away from each other as humanly possible. Keep your card.
There is no reason that we should ever need to be in touch with each other
again.”

Before
he has a chance to respond, I enter the house as quickly as possible. Behind
closed doors, I peek through the window in time to see him getting into the
driver’s seat of his car while his brother slides into the passenger side. I
watch him drive away.

*     *     *

Thank
God I was at the airport to drop off Howard and his family. I wonder if Jada
would have been okay. Seeing her upset tore me up inside. Not being able to
console her was even worse. I so badly wanted to take her in my arms and make
her problems go away, help her feel secure and safe, but I couldn’t. She wouldn’t
allow me to.

Then
there would be the obvious issue of controlling what I did and felt in case one
day we should end up on opposite sides of the courtroom.

I’m so
attracted to her, and I sense that she is to me too, but for obvious reasons,
she doesn’t trust me. She knows she can’t.

For a
minute, in that car, I was certain that she was going to kiss me—not the kind
of kiss I brushed past her cheek. She looked at me with pure want… desire
…
then
she pulled away. After, she looked surprised, somewhat confused, and most of
all, scared.

As
luscious as that kiss might sound right now, I’m not sure that’s what I’d want.
It would be fine if I thought of her in a fuck-buddy-sort-of-way, but I don’t.
I’d want more with her.

In the
same token, I know she’s vulnerable, and I don’t want to be
that
guy
that she turns to help her get over her ex—the rebound guy. It looks like if I
have any desire to want any more with her, the best thing I can do over the
next few months is stay away from her. It will give her time to get over her
ex, and hopefully, the SFPD will find the true perpetrator of this crime, who I’ll
be more than happy to send off to prison.

*     *     *

What
just happened? What is happening to me? I was supposedly deeply in love with a
man, and now, I find myself drawn to another within days of his death. A man I
have absolutely no business being drawn to. My world is spinning around me, and
this is just another unforeseen issue added to the mix. I am completely
overwhelmed. I’ve never been so confused in my life. I feel like I’m this close
from going off the deep end. At this point, I’m running out of answers. I don’t
understand any of this, and more importantly, I don’t know how to fix it.

I
place the food in the refrigerator then head to the living room. I switch on
the fireplace and burn the box and everything associated with the phone, except
of course the phone itself. All that is left is my medication and the gift from
Bobby. I slowly tear away the wrapping and inside are a few picture frames—three.
One has a picture of us together that we took on the boat tour of Lake Tahoe,
another of us together with my parents days before Daddy died, and one with him
alone. The card attached reads:

Display
these wherever you go

so
that you will remember

that
we are always with you.

No
matter what.

I love
you.

Bobby

I feel
the sting in my eyes once more, but I don’t want to cry. I place one of the
frames on the fireplace mantle, one on the kitchen counter, and the other in my
room. After, I take a very long shower. I slip into my comfy pajamas. I should
probably read a book. I get myself a slice of leftover pizza, a glass of milk,
and I curl up in bed. Before I even know it, I’m out.

When I
wake,
I am shocked to see it’s four in the morning. I’m hungry.
I venture into the kitchen and heat up my brunch from the day before. It’s cold
outside and still pitch-dark. The sun hasn’t even nearly begun to rise. As I
sit on the oversized fireplace hearth to eat, my mind drifts back to yesterday
afternoon.

What
was that that happened in the car? I don’t know what’s going on with me, but I
need to find a focus.

What
about him? Is he doing this to get close to me for information? What about his
ex? Did he get over her within a week? I’m beginning to have my suspicions
about that too. Was there ever a real proposal? Or was that some sort of stupid
tactic for him to get the seat he wanted? It doesn’t matter; either way, I
refuse to let him use whatever charms he might have to get information out of
me.

Later
that day, I head into town to run some errands. My dress is toast, as I
thought. It’s late afternoon when the doorbell rings. I check to see who it is.
It’s some sort of delivery. I haven’t ordered anything, so I have to assume it’s
from Bobby or Charles. I sign for receiving two packages. One is from my mom,
but I can’t identify the sender of the other.

I open
the box, and the Ralph Lauren logo on the box gives me a clue. My brother makes
me smile. I’ve been sent a replacement for my ruined dress. The other is a box
of my mom’s cookies, my favorite. She had them overnighted to me.

Only
my mom…

I will
love you always and forever.

Hopefully,
these will bring you some cheer.

I’m a
phone call away if you need me.

Love
Always,

Mommy

How
did she get my address?

I pick
up my
Bobbyphone
and press the speed dial button.