Love Me if You Dare (14 page)

Rafe knew the moment she came, freeing him to let go, and he did, gliding in and out of hers, pumping his hips against her body until he couldn’t think or hear, only
feel
as, skin to skin, he came inside her.

He barely remembered collapsing beneath her on the couch, or her falling over him. As awareness came back, he heard her ragged breaths, the sound like music in his ears.

“I must be heavy,” she finally said.

“Couldn’t tell you. I can’t feel anything.”

She jumped off him, and he laughed, reaching for her but missing. “I’m kidding. Get back here.”

She shook her head. “Shower. And then I have to get ready for dinner at your mother’s.”

“I’ll be right in.” He laid his hand over his head and groaned.

Every time he thought he had a solution to his problems with Sara, he only ended up sucking himself in deeper. Because
that
hadn’t been sex. Because
he loved her.

The truth hadn’t snuck up on him, and he wasn’t surprised. That special kernel of feeling had been planted a long time ago, back when they were partners. It had merely grown since then, often slowly. Sometimes it had even gone into hibernation, but it had been there all along.

Unfortunately, whether it went anywhere was out of his control.

A
PPARENTLY DINNER AT
Rafe’s parents’ house was always a big event. Any family member who wanted to come over was welcome. Today’s group included Pirro, Aunt Vi and, to everyone’s surprise, Nick and Angel. Everyone was so happy to see them together, nobody asked any questions, afraid of bringing up a subject that might cause trouble between them.

Sara’s homemade cake had been a success. Later,
after everyone had finished coffee and dessert, different groups gathered in various rooms to talk.

Sara pulled Angel aside, wanting to catch up with the other woman. She started by reassuring her again that she wasn’t angry about the Bachelor Blog incident.

Toni bounced into the kitchen, her ponytail bobbing in time to her walk. “Sara, guess what?”

“What?” she asked the teen.

“I have a boyfriend!” she said in a squeal. “Pete asked me out, and I said yes! Thank you for your advice!” She wrapped her arms around Sara’s waist and hugged her tight.

A warm—dare-she-think-maternal—feeling filled her at the young girl’s gratitude and easy hug. “I’m happy I could help,” she said, her voice thick.

The chirping of a cell phone interrupted them. “It’s
him!
” Toni said. “Gotta go somewhere private and take it.” She bounced out of the room, leaving Sara a little overwhelmed, in a good way. “What does
asking someone out
mean these days?” Sara asked Angel.

“From what I hear, it means they’re going steady, rarely talk in person, text on the phone, and break up within a week or so.” Angel shook her head, laughing.

Sara chuckled. “Glad I don’t have to deal with a teenage girl.” Realizing what she’d just said, Sara’s
hands flew to her mouth, horrified. “I’m sorry. I mean— You can’t— I didn’t mean—”

“Relax, I know you didn’t! I told you, I’ve moved on and accepted,” Angel reassured her.

Sara wasn’t convinced, but she wanted to put her foot-in-mouth moment behind her. “Looks like you two are getting along,” she said, changing the subject.

Angel nodded. “I’m cautiously optimistic.”

“And I’m happy for you!”

“Thanks.” Angel glanced around to make sure they were alone. “He agreed to go for marriage counseling.”

Sara nodded. “I think that shows you how much he wants to make things work. I hope that means you’ll meet him halfway?”

Angel shrugged. “We both agreed to try. I’ll call tomorrow for an appointment, and then we’ll see. So, what’s going on with you?” she asked, deliberately changing the subject again. “The fire department investigators told me they have no leads. Did you find out anything more?” Angel’s big eyes were filled with concern.

“Nothing new. My captain hasn’t heard anything, either, so for now I just have to be cautious.”

“Maybe it
was
just a random act, kids playing with fire. Stupid and dangerous, but random.”

“Maybe,” Sara hedged. It was better for Angel to believe her own words.

“So…where do things stand with the two of you?” Angel tipped her head toward Rafe, who was sitting beside his mother, talking.

As if he realized they were talking about him, he glanced over and treated Sara to a sexy wink before turning his attention back to his mother.

She swallowed hard. “We’re fine.” If she considered the wall between them fine.

Except this time the wall hadn’t come from Rafe; it came from Sara herself, who was confused as to why getting what she wanted didn’t feel as good as it should.

“Vague and unacceptable.” Angel grinned. “Spill.”

Sara drew a deep breath. “The truth is, I don’t do relationships. I never have. I don’t believe in happily ever after without a whole lot of work and aggravation, and when you factor in the stress of us both being cops…” She trailed off. “Look, the majority of relationships don’t work. My entire family tree is a prime example. Rafe and I don’t see life the same way. We don’t want the same things.”

“What is it you want?” Angel asked without judgment, and Sara was grateful for her understanding. Obviously, Angel knew firsthand that the work-and-aggravation part were true in an ordinary marriage.

“You know, I never really gave it much thought except to know I always wanted to be a cop. It’s in my genes. But my bad knee might make the one thing I always took for granted impossible.”

“Which means you may have to reevaluate your future.” A sympathetic expression settled over Angel’s face. “I know I did when I lost the baby.” She lowered her voice. “Actually, I’ve had two miscarriages, but the family only knows about the one. The first one happened so early, we hadn’t even told them I was pregnant yet.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Thanks. But my point is that I always thought I’d be a mom. I can imagine how that sounds to you, but that was
my
dream. And then one day it was gone. The doctor said I probably couldn’t carry to term, and suddenly my future looked empty. Sound familiar?” she asked.

Suddenly the notion of not being able to return to active duty seemed trivial compared to the end of Angel’s dream.

Sara glanced down at her feet, embarrassed. “You must think I’m ridiculous. Here I am mourning the potential loss of a job, when you can’t have children.” Sara pressed her hands to her burning cheeks. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t you dare be sorry!” Angel said, clearly affronted. “Nobody’s dreams are any more or less
important than anyone else’s. I’m just trying to tell you that when things look their darkest, you
can
find opportunity and even end up happy again.”

“Thank you,” Sara said, touched that Angel would dig into her deepest pain to help her. “You and I talked just now, right? So maybe you could do the same with Nick?” she asked tentatively.

“It’s different talking to someone who doesn’t share the grief.” Angel cleared her throat, obviously emotional.

“Say no more. I understand.” Sara quickly let the other woman off the hook.

Angel reached out her hand. “I don’t know about you, but I need a good hug.”

Sara smiled and pulled the other woman into a sisterly embrace.

To her surprise, the simple human connection made her feel better.

A
LITTLE WHILE LATER
, Sara and Angel were helping Rafe’s mother clean up in the kitchen when Rafe poked his head into the room.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?” he asked.

Sara glanced at Mariana, not wanting to leave her alone to dry the pots and pans.

“Go,” the other woman said. “I’ll finish up in here.” She waved Sara away. “You, too, Angel. Go find Nick,” she said pointedly.

Angel rolled her eyes, but did as her mother-in-law suggested.

Sara followed Rafe into a small hallway. “What’s going on?”

“Pirro announced he’s going to play poker, and Aunt Vi wants me to follow him.” He groaned, telling Sara what he thought of that idea.

“Is there any chance he really is playing poker?”

Rafe cocked his head to one side and nodded. “There’s every chance. But until we do this a few times and reassure her, this will never end.”

“Okay, so what’s the plan?”

“When Pirro leaves, I’ll say it’s time for us to go, too. I can’t follow him directly—he knows my car, and it’ll be too obvious, but I know all the men in his poker game. We’ll wait a few minutes and drive by each house until we find his car, snap a picture on my cell and be done with it.” He sounded more amused than annoyed by the plan.

“Works for me.” In fact, Aunt Vi’s drama was just the excitement and distraction she needed from the chaos of her own life.

P
IRRO WAS IN NO
mood for poker or his friends, but the only way he could spread news was through their game. Jonah Frye had the perfect location for poker in the summertime, a barn in his backyard that he’d converted into a hangout for the boys. The fact that
they hadn’t been boys in years didn’t seem to bother any of them as they gathered together to eat, drink and play.

Pirro waited until they’d played a few hands and everyone was relaxed to make his announcement. “My supply’s going to decrease for a while.”

Ernie slapped his cards onto the table. “That’s unacceptable. I’ve been courting Mary Braunstein. It’s been a year since Sydney passed on, and she’s almost ready for that next step. I can’t have my pecker at half-staff!”

Ernie just loved using the word
pecker,
Pirro thought. “What happened to the last batch of pills I gave you?”

Ernie flushed red in the face. “Gone. I had to take ’em every time we went out for dinner. You know, just in case she decided it was time to open the door.”

“Well, you’re just going to have to stall her.” Because Pirro wasn’t meeting with his supplier as scheduled.

“Why can’t you get us the pills?” another of his friends asked.

Pirro groaned. Lies upon lies. “Because my supplier’s out of them,” he lied. “As soon as I can get my hands on some more, I’ll let you know.”

“Fine,” Ernie said, and the rest of the men grumbled.

Pirro had a hunch not all of them needed the pill;
it had just become an insurance policy for all of them, so they could get it up no matter what. Well, they’d have to make due.

Meanwhile, he needed to lie low and keep stalling those nasty men. He couldn’t even think the words
drug dealers
without wanting to gag. They’d bought his quick-thinking excuse, but he still needed to figure a way out of this mess.

He’d contemplated talking to Rafe. The cop had dealt with men and situations like this before, but Pirro wasn’t blameless. He’d known what he was doing wasn’t totally aboveboard. But he wasn’t a bad man. He’d made sure all his friends had taken a physical and had their tickers checked out before giving them the meds. Now he was forced to look at how Rafe might view his dealings, and he was embarrassed by what he found.

“Pirro, it’s your turn,” Ernie yelled. “You going deaf?”

No, but he might be going to jail.

As a cop, Rafe might have no choice but to arrest him, a thought that made Pirro panic. He was getting on in years. He was soft. He couldn’t possibly go to the slammer.

He played his hand in a fog, hoping he could come up with a plan to save them all.

N
O GREAT SURPRISE TO
R
AFE:
Pirro was in fact playing poker. Rafe snapped a photo of Pirro’s car outside Jonah Frye’s house to show his aunt as proof. But he also wanted to talk to him and convince him to set things straight with his wife so Rafe wouldn’t have to get involved playing private investigator again.

He cast a sideways glance at Sara. She sat beside him, patiently resting her head against the window, as they waited for Pirro to come out of the barn.

“Did you ever consider private-investigation work?” Rafe asked her.

She turned toward him. “No, but until today I haven’t really been willing to consider any alternatives.”

“What changed your mind today?” he asked, surprised.

She still stared out onto the street. “I realized how self-absorbed and selfish I’ve been, thinking my whole life is over because I can’t do a job I love.”

Hmm. “Why the change of attitude?”
And what else might it apply to?
he silently wondered.

“Angel. Imagine being told you could never have children.”

He narrowed his gaze and ignored the kick start in his heart at her mention of children. “You want kids?” he asked, surprised.

After all, kids were usually the result of a long-term relationship, something Sara emphatically did not
do.

“Not me—Angel. We were talking about what I wanted out of life, and I said I never had to give it much thought. That I always wanted to be a cop, but, thanks to my knee injury, that might not be possible. She said she knew a lot about reevaluating life because she’d always wanted to be a mom. And then she found out she couldn’t.” Sara inhaled deeply, then breathed out, almost a sigh.

“Sara…”

She shook her head. “I just feel so selfish, pitying myself because I might not be able to be a cop. She can never have
children.
That’s a much bigger blow, and look how she’s bounced back! She’s even happy. So that’s why I think it’s time I look at what other options are open to me in the future.”

She was clearly struggling with her issues, and a mixture of pride, pleasure and a little bit of pain rushed through Rafe, all at the same time.

“You should never compare yourself to someone else,” he said in an attempt to comfort her and give
her a good dose of reality. Everyone’s problems were equally real to them.

“Angel said the same thing. But if there are lessons to be learned, I’m not averse to learning them. If she can overcome her tragedy, I can pull myself together and find another purpose.”

“Yeah, you can,” he said gruffly.

He knew better than to point out that there was suddenly a bit of optimism in her attitude. Or that if she could reevaluate what she wanted out of her career, maybe her personal life wasn’t all that different. He’d put a new rule into effect: no discussing anything that would throw either of them off balance.

Whatever conclusions she drew, she’d have to come to them on her own.

They returned to silence until finally Pirro walked out from behind the house.

“I’ll be right back.” Rafe jumped out of the car and caught up with his uncle at the end of the driveway.

Sara waited in the car.

“Rafe, what’s wrong?” Pirro asked.

“Don’t panic. We just need to talk.” He paused, wondering how to phrase things without really telling the man his wife had asked Rafe to follow him and make sure he was telling the truth. “Is everything okay at home?”

Pirro narrowed his gaze. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Aunt Vi is upset. She’s worried that you haven’t
been acting like yourself, and you’re going out more often. And I’ve noticed you’ve been very quiet lately.”

He waved Rafe away with one hand. “I’m fine. Everything’s fine.”

“Then why does Aunt Vi think there’s someone else?” he said, awkwardly but as delicately as he could.

Pirro’s eyes opened wide. “She said that? And sent you to ask me?”

Rafe dipped his head. “Sort of. Look, you’re here where you’re supposed to be, which is exactly what I figured. But she said there are times when you leave at odd hours, telling her you’re going to play poker when there’s really no game, and you know Aunt Vi. She’s imagining the worst and spinning all sorts of weird scenarios.” Rafe refused to elaborate on those. “So, what’s going on? And how can I help?”

“Nothing.” Pirro shuffled his feet and glanced at the blacktop driveway.

Clearly he was lying. “Come on. Man-to-man. If there’s something you want to tell me, I’m here to listen.”

Pirro paused. In the silence that followed, Rafe believed he was considering confiding in him.

“There’s nothing.”

Damn. Still, Rafe decided to give it one last shot.
“I know she’s not an easy woman to live with, but you love her, right?”

Pirro raised his hand to his chest. “With all my heart!”

“Good. Then do us both a favor? Go home to your wife. Convince her everything’s fine and you’re not…seeking comfort with someone else.” That way Rafe would never have to humiliate himself like this again.

“Of course I’m not seeking comfort with someone else! There’s no other woman for me.”

Rafe stepped forward and put an arm around the older man’s shoulders. “Then where are you going when there’s no poker game going on?”

Pirro shook his head and puffed out his shoulders. His face turned red with anger. “Can’t a man have any privacy anymore?” Pirro asked. “I need time and space to myself, that’s all.”

He was lying.

Rafe had interrogated too many suspects who be came defiant when they didn’t want to answer a question not to recognize Pirro’s deflective behavior. “Fine. If you ever want to talk, I’m here. But for now, go home to your wife and calm her down, okay?”

The man nodded and headed for his car, leaving Rafe with no answers and an uneasy feeling that something was very wrong.

A
NGEL’S
B
ED-AND
-B
REAKFAST
was a four-bedroom house with three bedrooms available to boarders. Two of those bedrooms were occupied by the ever-present Biff and Todd, leaving one couple from Connecticut in the remaining room. The couple left late Sunday afternoon after the wine festival had officially come to an end. Only Biff and Todd remained. Their stay was indefinite, as they claimed to be on a working vacation, and now that the business part of their trip had ended with the festival, they planned to stay on.

Which meant Nick wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. He had been staying at Angel’s since the fire Friday night. He wouldn’t call the pullout couch in the small den comfortable, but at least he was able to keep an eye on her. The unsolved arson case weighed heavily on his mind, as did the idea of the two men staying under the same roof as his wife.

He appreciated the chance to wake up and see Angel first thing in the morning. She prepared an elaborate breakfast for her guests, clearly enjoying her new role, and she’d invited him to join them all for breakfast.

He’d agreed and was certain that the meal was the best thing he’d eaten in the six months since he’d moved out. Man, he’d missed her home cooking.

But not as much as he’d missed her.

He reminded himself that this didn’t have to end.
She’d offered him the possibility of reconciliation, but their getting back together hinged on coming to terms with the things that divided them. He’d have to get over his aversion to Angel’s business if he was going to fix his marriage. But accepting her B and B was easy now that he’d allowed himself to really
see
Angel and how much she enjoyed operating the business and interacting with her customers. She deserved some happiness after what they’d been through, and he’d never take that joy away from her. But until she faced their loss, until she talked it through with him and they grieved together, not separately, he couldn’t just accept it and go on as if nothing tragic had happened.

L
UNCHTIME
M
ONDAY
, Rafe and Sara walked into Moe’s, the main restaurant in town. When Nick had called and asked Rafe to meet him, he’d agreed on lunch, wanting to wait until the alarm company was settled in doing the install. Going to town later in the morning also gave the remaining stragglers from the festival a chance to get out of town. If Rafe was going to bring Sara out in the open, he wanted to see as few strangers as possible.

The counter was full of regulars, including his uncle Pirro and the bookkeeper who was new to the business but not to the town. The booths were also filling up, but Moe’s wife, Nadeen, pointed to a table
where Nick was waiting. All in all, everything looked and felt normal.

Rafe was about to head to his brother, when Sara tugged on his hand, stopping him.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Nick wanted to talk to you. Maybe I should wait up front,” she offered.

“No.” Rafe was not leaving her alone. “Come sit with us. Besides, you have to eat lunch.” Grasping her hand tighter in his, he pulled her toward the table.

Nick rose to greet them. “Hey. Thanks for coming.”

“No problem.” Rafe stepped aside to let Sara slide into the booth first before easing in next to her.

She’d been edgy since getting off the phone with the captain this morning. The Bachelor Blog, though spotlighting a guy in the city, still made sure to hit on the Sara-Rafe romance daily, reminding the city that they were huddled together in Rafe’s hometown, Sara getting to know his family and Rafe getting to know Sara even better.

The captain had tried placing a call to the editor of the
Daily Post,
asking them to lay off publishing information on Sara’s whereabouts, but citing the Bachelor Blogger’s First Amendment right to free speech, the editor had respectfully declined. Sara felt like a walking target.

Which was why Rafe was sticking by her side.

Aida, the waitress, stopped by their table for chit-chat and to take their orders. When another table waved to get her attention, she finally left them alone to talk.

“So, what’s up?” Rafe asked Nick.

“That’s what I wanted to know. Did you hear anything on who set the fire?”

Rafe shook his head. He’d made some calls this morning. “The fire inspector can only confirm arson. The state police in charge of the investigation questioned people, but nobody saw anything definitive. Basically, they know nothing.”

Nick frowned. “What about you, Sara?” he asked, lowering his voice. “Any news from New York?”

She shook her head. “According to our captain, the guy I’m supposed to testify against is smugly asserting he’ll get off. The D.A. takes that to mean I should watch my back. But it’s all inconclusive.”

“And we’re on the lookout for anyone suspicious now that most of the tourists are gone,” Rafe said. “Anyone come to mind?”

To Rafe’s surprise, Nick nodded. “Guess who didn’t leave town?”

Rafe narrowed his gaze.

“Biff and Todd,” Nick said before either Rafe or Sara could reply.

“What are those two still doing here?” Rafe asked.

“They said they were in the wine business, so I would have thought they’d be gone with the rest of the festival people,” Sara said.

“Lunch is ready!” Aida arrived with her hands full of plates. She served them all quickly. “Anything else I can get you?”

“Ketchup for the burger,” Nick said.

“Some more coffee would be great, please.” Sara lifted her empty cup.

“I’m good,” Rafe said.

“Back in a jiffy!” Aida promised, rushing off to fill their requests.

“I’m going to have the captain run a check on those two,” Rafe said of Biff and Todd. “Can you get me their full names from Angel?” he asked his brother.

“Will do.”

Rafe took a bite of his turkey club sandwich.

Beside him, Sara picked at her salad, her wary gaze darting around the room. Obviously, she was more interested in the customers than the food.

Knowing nothing he could say would distract her, Rafe made small talk with his brother as they all finished their meals. Soon they had paid and were back outside in the hot, humid summer air. Compared to the weekend, when the festival had been in full swing, the streets were empty, people preferring to be inside where the air conditioners kept them comfortable.

“Nick! Sara! Rafe!” Angel called their names and
came running toward them. “You won’t believe it! I can’t believe it!”

“What’s going on?” Nick asked first.

“I just had a phone call from the features editor at the
Daily Post
in Manhattan! She’s going to include my bed-and-breakfast in a story about great summer getaways!” Angel practically shook with excitement.

“That’s the same paper that prints the Bachelor Blog,” Rafe said, immediately wary.

“That’s how they heard about my B and B,” Angel said, her tone more tempered now that the conflict of interest overtook her excitement. “Look, I know I was wrong to let the Bachelor Blogger know about you being here, but can’t I be excited that it led to this kind of exposure?”

“Of course you can,” Nick said, surprising everyone.

“Right,” Rafe agreed. “It’s just that the less exposure this little town has, the better as far as I’m concerned. At least until it’s time for Sara to go back to the city.” He shot a worried glance her way, but he couldn’t read her feelings from her expression.

“Amanda Stevens, that’s the editor, is coming here tomorrow for a firsthand look. She’s going to do an interview and bring a photographer to take pictures. And the timing is perfect, because just this morning,
Biff and Todd decided to move into the Hilton for the rest of their vacation, so I have rooms available.”

“Biff and Todd moved out?” Sara asked, obviously as surprised as Rafe.

“They said they’ll be around town,” Angel replied, “but they wanted a pool and a gym, all the amenities a full-service hotel offered.”

Those two were odd ducks, Rafe thought.

“You all have a funny look in your eyes.” Angel’s gaze darted from Rafe to Sara. “Did I step in it again?” she asked, confused.

Rafe didn’t want to upset her. She was an innocent bystander in all this drama, and she deserved success.