Love Me if You Dare (21 page)

Sirens suddenly sounded in the distance. A combination of panic and relief washed over Sara.

Shock registered on Joy’s face. “How would they ever find us?”

Sara swallowed hard and decided to gamble. “You’re not as smart as you thought. I left Rafe a clue,” she said, goading the other woman, hoping to keep her talking and off balance so she wouldn’t shoot.

“And there’s no way out, so drop your weapon.” Rafe came up from behind, taking Joy off guard.

Sara, too. Apparently she
had
heard a car in the distance earlier, and Rafe had snuck up on foot.

Surprised, Joy swung toward Rafe, then back to Sara, who had safely stepped out of reach.

Joy was caught in between them both and chose to focus on Rafe.

Each had a gun drawn on the other.

“Stalemate,” Rafe said.

“She’s Morley’s girlfriend,” Sara informed him.

“Fiancée.” Joy’s correction sounded inane in light of the situation, but the distinction clearly mattered to her.

From behind Joy, Sara met Rafe’s steady gaze.

She’d left him, and he’d come after her anyway. There would be time later to reflect on what that meant. For now, she knew what she had to do.

She just hoped she didn’t get Rafe shot in the process.

Sara gave Rafe an imperceptible nod.

“Drop!” she yelled at the same time she dove for the back of Joy’s legs, barreling into her and taking her down at the same time a gunshot sounded, deafening in its roar.

And heart-stopping in that Sara had no idea whose gun it came from, or who, if anyone, the bullet had hit.

R
AFE READ
S
ARA’S MIND
, anticipated her action and was ready to duck when the order came. He hit the
ground and rolled away from the woman’s aim. The shot missed, and he quickly rose to his feet.

Sara had the upper hand, but the other woman still had the weapon, which they were grappling for. Rafe stepped on the woman’s arm, and the gun fell from her hand. Sara scrambled on hands and knees for the weapon, grabbed hold of the gun and rose to her feet.

It was over by the time police cars surrounded them and screeched to a halt. It took another forty minutes to get the cops up to speed, the story straight and Joy taken into custody.

Over an hour passed before Rafe and Sara had a minute alone.

From the moment he’d found her car on the side of the road until she’d taken possession of Joy’s gun, his only thought had been Sara’s survival. Once he’d accomplished that, the deal he’d made with his brother, to go after their women, took center stage. But Rafe had realized there was nothing left for him to say. He’d put everything out there for Sara, and by walking out on him earlier, she’d thrown it back in his face.

So, when he finally could speak, it wasn’t gratitude for her safety or praise in how she’d handled Joy that came out.

“I don’t know what the hell more you want from me!” Rafe exploded in anger instead.

Sara blinked in surprise before she quickly regained her composure. “I’m sorry.”

Her words didn’t deflate his feelings of hurt and betrayal. “For what? For not trusting me enough to get you home? For not believing in me enough to stick around? Or wait—maybe it’s for not loving me enough for all of the above?”

Sara opened her mouth, then closed it again. She drew a deep breath. “I do.”

“What?”

“I do love you.” Her voice trembled. Her eyes shimmered with unshed tears. “It’s the trusting in the future I have a hard time with.”

He shook his head in disbelief. Only Sara could turn an
I love you
into something he couldn’t celebrate.

“Well, guess what? It’s just not good enough. I’ve put myself out there for you, shown you exactly what we could have together if you’d let down your guard—and you still question it?” He raised his hands in the air. “I’m finished. Come back to my place and get some sleep. I’ll follow you back to New York in the morning.” He turned to head back to his car.

“Rafe, wait.” Sara’s voice stopped him.

He turned around, but he wasn’t interested in whatever she had to say. “Look, I think we’re finished talking. And don’t worry. I’ll be sleeping in the extra room, so there will be no mixed signals from me from here on in.”

Because he couldn’t be in the same bed without touching her, and he wasn’t about to give more knowing he’d receive absolutely nothing in return.

A
FTER LEAVING
R
AFE’S
, Nick stopped in town for flowers and headed over to Angel’s like a man on a mission—only to be stopped by a call from his brother telling him he’d found Sara’s car on the side of the road with no sign of her. Since then, the flowers sat on the counter—their meaning undiscussed—while Nick and Angel held vigil and waited for news on Sara.

“Good news?” Angel asked once Nick had hung up the phone with Rafe.

Nick shrugged. “Depends on your definition. Is Sara safe? Yes, she is. Are they back together? No, they aren’t.” The news was a kick in the gut on many levels. Because Nick had believed in Rafe’s ability to go after Sara and win.

Angel walked over to where Nick sat on the couch in the family room. “As long as Sara’s okay, the rest will come,” she said, her tone full of certainty.

“Will it? Really? Why are you so sure they can make it if we can’t? We have history. Not just in years together, but in shared experience and memories, good and bad. Yet we sit in that therapist’s office, and, if not for me, we’d be sitting in complete silence.” And he couldn’t take it another second.

“Why did you come here? Before we got the call about Sara, you showed up with flowers. Why?”

“Because I love you. Because you’re my wife, for better or for worse, and I want you back. And because I finally realize I’m not the one who placed this damn business between us—you did!” He rose and grasped her by the arms, so their faces were inches apart.

“You hate this place.”

“Only because you use it as a wall between us!” He counted to five, gathering his courage. “We lost another baby, and we never talked about it. You never cried. And I never pushed you. Instead, you turned to this business, and I complained that it took you away from me. But that’s not it at all.”

Angel shook her head. “Please don’t make me do this,” she said, her voice breaking along with his heart.

But he shook his head, bound and determined to force the issue once and for all. It was the only way.

“We lost two babies, and I’d never ask you to get pregnant again, to go through that kind of agony and loss again, but we lost something together. We lost the dream of a family. We didn’t grieve together. Hell, Angel, I don’t know if you even grieved alone!”

“I grieved in my own way.”

“But you didn’t cry.”

“Because I was afraid if I did, I’d never, ever stop!”
she yelled at him, her voice breaking along with the damn wall she’d built up and kept between them.

Her shoulders shook, and she slid to the ground, aching sobs escaping. All Nick could do was settle in beside her, hold her tight, and be there while she mourned.

He prayed that when this was over, they could make a fresh start—and that this time, it would be together.

S
ARA HEADED HOME TO
tie up the loose ends in her life. There was nothing like seeing your life flash before your eyes to make a person want to reevaluate what was important.

She had no choice but to tackle her issues in priority order, starting with business and John Morley. From the moment she arrived back in New York, she had police protection. Sara testified against Morley, and with her testimony on record, she was finally safe from Morley and his men. He wouldn’t add cop killer to his list of crimes after it was too late to do any good.

Next up, a long-overdue visit with her father. She’d missed him while she was upstate. She’d called ahead, and he was expecting her, so she knocked and let herself in with her key.

Martin Rios greeted his daughter with his customary booming hello and huge hug. “I’ve missed you!”

“I missed you too, Dad.” She stepped back and looked him over. Robust and handsome, with dark
hair and a mustache, her father… Well, he was her father.

And she wanted to crawl into his arms and tell him everything that had gone wrong.

“Uncle Jack tells me you’ve been a busy girl. Come sit down and fill me in.”

Sara bit the inside of her cheek and did as he asked. She sat down with her dad, filling him in on the antics of Pirro that had led to the drug bust, the kidnapping and rescue by Rafe, along with a description of Rafe’s big, fun family, including Angel and the blogger story, ending with her fake elopement.

By the time she was finished, her father stared at her in awe. “Well, well.”

“Well what?”

He slapped his thigh with one hand. “Well, you’ve gone and done it.”

“Done what?” she asked, exasperated and lost.

Her father cocked his head to one side, studying her as if seeing her for the first time. “You’ve fallen in love with your ex-partner, that’s what!” Martin smiled, his grin as wide as his face.

Sara wasn’t nearly as amused. “What makes you say that?” She’d hoped to bypass her unresolved love issues during this visit.

“I’m not sure if it’s the dreamy look in your eyes when you talk about him, the fact that you used his name in almost every sentence, that my loner daughter
is head over heels for his big family or all of the above.”

“Is it that obvious?” She ducked her head in embarrassment.

“I’m afraid so.” But he was still grinning like a hyena. “Why do you look like this is a bad thing?” he asked.

“Why do you look like it’s not?” His attitude left her truly perplexed. “I feel like I’ve lost my way. Aren’t you worried for me?”

Her father shook his head. “Unless this man’s an axe murderer disguised as a cop, I don’t see the problem.”

“This from the man who lived happily ever after alone?” Sara shook her head and laughed. “Come on, Dad, you can tell me what a huge mistake it is to even consider tying my life to one person, and another cop at that.”

His big brown eyes grew wide. “Is
this
what you think I want for you? A lonely life shared with someone only on occasion?” He swept his arm around, the gesture meant to encompass the small apartment she’d grown up in.

“Lonely?” she asked, stunned at his choice of that one word.

Her father leaned forward in his seat. “Did you think I celebrated when your mother left?”

They’d never discussed it before. Sara had only
known what she’d seen growing up—a contented man with available, short-term women when the opportunity arose.

Sara swallowed hard. “I thought you were relieved the fighting had ended.”

He let out a low groan. “I suppose that’s true. And I really had no choice but to adapt. I was also pretty determined to never get hurt that way again.” He shook his head in obvious dismay. “But I never thought about how it looked to you. That’s where I fell down on the job as a parent, I guess.”

Sara smiled. “You weren’t much of a talker.”

“I’d hoped I made up for it as a listener. But I guess that left you reading between the lines.”

She nodded. “It did. Are you telling me I didn’t read correctly?”

“If you think falling in love or making a commitment to someone is a bad thing, then something definitely got lost in translation, and I blew it.”

Sara shook her head at his logic. “Dad, it wasn’t just you. We don’t have one family member who isn’t divorced.” She held up a hand before he could interrupt. “Except for Reni. Still, one out of however many others is hardly a reason to believe in marriage and relationships.”

He reached out and lifted her chin in his hand. “Didn’t I raise you to believe in hard work above all else?”

“Of course.”

“Well, marriage and commitment take work. I was willing to do the work. Your mother wasn’t. End of subject.” He dropped his hand and looked away. “Except that the same goes for any couple in the world today.”

Sara narrowed her gaze, surprised she’d misunderstood her father for so many years. “But wouldn’t you say being a cop makes it twice as hard to make a relationship work?”

“Yes. So what?”

“So, two cops would make it twice as impossible.” She stated what she’d always believed was obvious.

He placed his hand on her shoulder, and she met his caring gaze. “Nothing is impossible. Not if what you and this man share is worth the effort.”

Rising, her father walked over to a large cabinet and opened a drawer. He sifted through the contents and pulled something out.

“What’s that?” Sara asked.

He walked over and sat back down beside her. “It’s a picture. Look.”

She glanced down at the framed photograph she didn’t recall seeing before. The picture captured her family—her father, her mother and Sara as a toddler. All three of them smiling and happy.

A memory and recollection Sara didn’t have. “I’ve never seen this before!”

“Another mistake of mine. It hurt too much for me to look at it, so I buried it, just like I buried my feelings,” he admitted.

She swallowed over the painful lump that kept getting bigger in her throat. “Why are you showing me this now?”

His wise gaze leveled on hers. “Because I’m trying to tell you I wouldn’t have missed these years with you and your mother for anything in the world. And I’m just sorry you never knew that before now,” he said, his voice gruff.

Sara found her voice just enough to say, “I love you, Dad.” She pulled her only parent that mattered into a big hug.

“I hope you’ve learned a valuable lesson today.” He pulled back and cleared his throat.

She caught the telltale tear in his eyes before she stood and turned away to wipe one of her own from her cheek.

A
FEW DAYS LATER
, fresh from an orthopedist appointment for her knee, Sara walked into her apartment just as the telephone started ringing. She grabbed the receiver before it went to voice mail. “Hello?” she asked, out of breath.

“Sara? It’s Angel. Did I catch you at a bad time?”

“Not at all,” Sara lied. She cradled the portable
between her head and her shoulder while she put her bag and keys down and locked her door.

Then she curled up on a club chair to take the call. “What’s going on?” Sara asked, happy to hear from the other woman.

“I had news I wanted to tell you myself,” Angel said. “I just felt like you understood so much, and we really connected…” Angel’s voice trailed off, as if she suddenly felt funny about the admission.

“I understand. I’ve been thinking about you, too.”
About everyone from Hidden Falls,
Sara thought.

Including Rafe.

Especially Rafe.

Sara drew a deep breath. “So, what’s your news?”

“Nick and I are giving our marriage a second chance,” Angel exclaimed.

Sara’s heart literally skipped a beat. “That’s wonderful! How? What changed?”

Had Nick finally given in and accepted his wife’s need for a career and a focus outside her marriage?

“We both did. Ever since Nick stayed here and saw how alive this place makes me feel, he’s tried to be more understanding. But most of all, he came over and forced me to face things I’d buried deep,” Angel admitted in a soft voice.

“Things about losing the babies?”

“Mmm-hmm. He resented the B and B mostly
because I put it between us because I didn’t want to face the pain over our loss. When Nick put it out there and made me face it, everything changed. I’m able to talk about it now without shutting him down, and he’s able to accept this place. Or at least he’s trying to, which is all I ever wanted. He’s even helping me out here. Like it’s
ours!
”

Sara felt herself smiling. “You sound so happy, and I’m thrilled for you! What about counseling? Are you still going?”

“Believe it or not, now that we’re communicating, it helps us compromise on different things. It’s work, but it’s so worth it.”

Sara had heard those words a few days before, when she’d visited with her father.
Marriage and commitment take work. I was willing to do the work. Your mother wasn’t.

Now Angel was repeating them, too. She and Nick were compromising—working—to make their marriage succeed. Because she obviously felt what she and Nick shared was worth the effort. Rafe had done the work. He’d shown her he was willing to meet her halfway and fight her demons, but she’d been the one to bail. Like her mother. And that wasn’t the person she wanted to emulate, let alone be.

Nothing is impossible… Not if what you and this man share is worth the effort.

“Sara, are you still there?” Angel asked.

“Sorry, I got lost in thought,” Sara admitted. “I’m here.”

“Okay. Well, I have to get going, but keep in touch, okay?”

“I will.”

“Umm…and Sara? You didn’t ask, and I swore I wasn’t going to say anything, but Nick tells me Rafe’s miserable without you. Gotta go. Bye.”

“Bye.” Sara stared at the phone in her hand.

She was miserable, too, and she wanted nothing more than to show up on Rafe’s doorstep, but she couldn’t make that move. Not until she’d tied up the remaining loose ends hanging over her. She needed to know what she was dealing with physically.

Another MRI, sets of X-rays and a doctor’s appointment merely confirmed what Sara already knew. Although she had already regained some mobility and would get some more over time, thanks to the scar tissue and beginnings of arthritis in the joint, she’d never pass the NYPD physical that would have enabled her to return. She hadn’t needed the confirmation to tell her what she wanted to do next. She’d already made up her mind.

Somewhere between her stay at a small B and B in upstate New York and falling in love with Rafe and his big, welcoming family, Sara’s dream of being a New York City cop had morphed into something
different. Something she couldn’t have imagined wanting, let alone yearning for, a few weeks ago.

Sara wanted out of Manhattan and the big-town anonymity she thought she’d enjoyed. She wanted to trade big-city law enforcement for the small-town equivalent, spending her time helping people she knew and cared about as opposed to protecting the anonymous many she didn’t. Even if she had been miraculously cleared for duty in Manhattan, she’d already decided her days there were over.

What she didn’t know, couldn’t yet know, was which small town would become her new home. The answer depended on Rafe and his ability to first forgive and then to compromise. Because she couldn’t imagine living in Hidden Falls, surrounded by his family, without him.

C
LEARED FOR ACTIVE DUTY
.

The words should have been a welcome relief, but lately Rafe didn’t give a damn about much of anything. He was going through the motions of his life, and there wasn’t a thing he could do about it. He finally understood why he’d found his brother drinking at Billy’s Bar all those weeks ago. Rafe would be there himself now if he wasn’t in Manhattan. The bars here were too crowded for him to find the peace and solitude he was looking for.

He sat down with an open carton of Chinese food
and began to sort through his mail when a knock sounded at his door. He wasn’t expecting anyone, and he barely knew his neighbors. He sure as hell wasn’t in the mood for company.

When the knocking grew louder, he shoved the carton aside and walked to the door. Looking through the peephole, he was shocked to see Sara on the other side.

He opened the door warily. “Hi.”

“Hi.” She smiled.

He braced his hands on the door and the frame. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

She drew a deep breath, obviously not sure of her welcome. “I was hoping we could talk.”

He inclined his head, unwilling to give until he knew why she had come. “So talk.”

“Right here?” As she looked around, taking in the dark, dank hall, her ponytail swished from side to side.

Already his fingers itched to wrap around the soft strands and pull her close. He clenched his hands into tight fists instead.

“Right here,” he confirmed. She’d already left an indelible imprint on his vacation home.

He had memories of their time together, and he wasn’t just imagining what her skin felt like—he
knew.
He had dreams of her in his sleep and visions while he was awake. His apartment was the only place
he could look around and not see Sara. He’d like to keep it that way.

“Fine. How have you been?” she asked.

“Just swell. You?”

She shrugged. A delicate lift of her shoulders that sent ruffles around her collar shimmying. He couldn’t stop staring, wondering what she was doing here and ordering himself unsuccessfully not to care.

“I’ve been keeping busy. I testified against Morley,” she said.

“I heard.” The captain assumed he still wanted to be kept in the loop, and since Rafe had no desire to broadcast his personal life to his superior, he’d shut up and listened.

“And I heard you’ve been cleared to return to active duty. I’m glad.”

“Thanks.” He swallowed hard. “I understand you weren’t as lucky.” He knew what her career as an NYPD officer meant to her. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s funny, but I’m not. I once thought losing my career meant losing myself.” She slid her hands into her front jean pockets. “And now I don’t.”