“Right. Then I’ll see you later.” He left.
Jennifer looked at Nevvie. “It must be neat having a famous author for a husband.”
She shrugged. “He’s a normal guy, just like Tommy, just like everyone else. It’s his job.”
Thomas cringed, worried Nevvie would say too much, then he mentally kicked himself for thinking that.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
Nevvie walked into the kitchen and plopped Adam into his high chair. “I’ll leave you alone with Mr. Grump in there.”
Jennifer laughed. “I’m not usually a welcomed visitor, that’s for sure.”
Thomas nervously chatted with Jennifer during their session, not sure how much Nevvie could hear. She had the small under-counter TV turned on and talked to Adam while she fed him, making silly baby voices and faces at him. She was a great mom, a wonderful wife. She deserved better than him.
She deserved Tyler, not the stress of taking care of someone like him who could barely walk.
By the end of the session he knew he was overtly flirting with Jennifer, pushing the envelope. He enjoyed making her blush, enjoyed the way his heart raced, wondered why he was going this far and if he’d crossed the line yet. Nevvie had taken Adam back into his office after she fed him and couldn’t hear them in the living room.
He’d sussed out Jennifer didn’t have a boyfriend. So what if he flirted with her? It was just words.
She was almost finished with his exercises. They were alone in the living room when he blurted it out after another of his double-entendres made her blush.
“You don’t mind that I’m a flirt, do you, baby girl?” He’d never called anyone but Nevvie that.
She smiled, finally met his eyes. “No, I don’t mind, Thomas.”
He knew he held her gaze a little too long. “Call me Tommy, sugar. No need to be so formal. Hell, the way you get to handle my body, we might as well get to know each other.” Okay, he hadn’t overtly lied to her, but he certainly led her to believe that Nevvie was Tyler’s wife, cementing that over this visit with a few well-placed comments. Not his fault she misunderstood, was it? She couldn’t get involved with him anyway, he was her patient. A little friendly flirting, right? No harm, no foul. Nothing could—would—ever come of it.
Then why the fuck had he slipped his wedding band off and put it in his pocket?
She smiled again. “Okay, Tommy. Thanks.”
* * * *
Thomas lived for the appointments. Somehow his luck held. Three weeks later, Jennifer still didn’t realize the truth of their home life. The few times Tyler didn’t have cardiac rehab during Jennifer’s visits, he would stay out of their way during therapy. Sometimes Nevvie would leave Adam home with Tyler and go to the office, relieving Thomas that she wasn’t there to catch on.
He lived to flirt with Jennifer. She loosened up, flirting back openly now, filling him with a new kind of excitement he hadn’t felt in a while.
And guilt.
But he shouldn’t feel guilty, right? No touch, no harm, no foul.
He’d started sleeping in the guest room instead of on the couch with the excuse that he didn’t want his leg to get jostled. He ignored Nevvie and Tyler’s hurt looks when he refused to sleep in the bedroom with them despite their repeated requests. He didn’t know if Nevvie and Tyler were having sex or not. Then again, he hadn’t given them much reason to want to have sex with him, had he? And he refused to be their pity fuck.
* * * *
Nevvie knocked on the guest room doorway one Monday night. Thomas sat propped up in bed, reading. She’d noticed he’d been in a good mood all day, which was odd. She thought he’d be in a horrible mood after his PT appointments, but every time seemed to be almost…cheerful afterwards.
“What is it, Nev?”
“Can I talk to you?”
He put his book down. She shouldn’t feel like this, feel like she had to climb a wall to get back to her husband.
She carefully sat on the bed next to him and reached for his hand. She felt as much tenderness in him as a store dummy. “What’s going on, Tommy?” she quietly asked.
“What?”
“This,” she said, indicating the guest bed. “Do we ever get to sleep with you again?”
“Do you want to?”
She felt shocked, hurt. “Of course we do! Why the hell do you think we keep asking you to sleep where you belong? What is going on with you?”
He jerked his hand free. “I don’t want my leg to get hurt.”
“This is more than your leg. You’re pushing us away. You’ve barely said more than five words to Tyler in the past couple of days, you don’t spend time with Adam, and you practically ignore me. Talk to us. Please? You’re not just sleeping in a different room. It’s like you’re living on another planet.”
“I’m fine. I’m just trying to adjust.”
“How long do you keep pushing us away? We’re waiting for you to let us back in. We aren’t going anywhere.”
Thomas wanted to put his arm around her and pull her to him, love the hurt from her face. And yet he also hated himself for thinking ahead to Wednesday.
To Jennifer.
“I’m not pushing you away,” he lied.
She stared at him for several minutes, then finally leaned in and kissed him. “Just know that when you’re ready to have us back, we’re waiting for you, Tommy. We love you, and we miss our tough guy. We want him back.”
He couldn’t stop the words. “Well, you don’t get a tough guy back, do you? You get a guy with a fucking leg that’s got more metal than bone in it,” he spat.
She flinched, hurt, startled by his angry tone.
“Wait, Nev, honey—”
Before he could reach out and grab her hand and apologize, she sobbed and ran from the room.
He closed his eyes and swore. She deserved better than him. She deserved someone who had his shit together.
She deserved Tyler.
Chapter Sixteen
Thomas wanted space, he got it. Nevvie left for the office early the next morning, leaving Tyler at home with him and not returning until nearly dark. Tyler’s quiet, hurt looks all day tore at his heart, but what could he say to him?
Wednesday morning, Nevvie was already gone when Thomas got up. Tyler heard him and came in to help.
“Where’s Nev?” Thomas asked.
“Does it matter? Do you really care?” Tyler quietly asked, carefully helping him limp to the bathroom. “It’s not like you’ve taken a great interest in her in the past several weeks. There’s only so much she can take, love. She needs a break until you’re ready to let her back in. Getting rejected by you hurts her. She’s about ready to stop trying, I think.”
Thomas bit back a reply. Nothing he said to Tyler would be right or even fair and he damn well knew it.
Later, he sat at the kitchen table and watched Tyler feed Adam. He loved the little guy. Adam kept reaching for him, stretching and kicking and fussing until Tyler slid the high chair closer to Thomas.
He smiled, trying not to cry. This little guy loved him, would see him as his daddy as much as Tyler, no matter what the birth certificate said.
“He’s missed you, too,” Tyler said. “We all have.”
Thomas glared at Ty. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere, if you haven’t noticed. I can’t with my leg fucked up anyway.”
“You don’t have to be gone to be absent,” he replied. Tyler glanced at the clock. “Can you sit with him while I go shower? Help him with his breakfast?”
Thomas nodded. Tyler left the room.
Adam gazed at him with those big blue eyes. Tyler’s big blue eyes, the same eyes he fell in love with so many years ago.
He knew it wasn’t fair to treat them like this. He hated himself for it. He also didn’t know how to find his way back to them. Tyler wasn’t stupid. Tyler had to know Adam was his biological child. The baby looked just like him, for chrissake. Yet he’d never staked a claim. When Tyler talked, he always referred to Adam as “our” son, not his.
Just like he called Nevvie “our” wife.
Another bolt of white-hot guilt shot through him. Nevvie and Tyler loved him. How long would they wait for him to get his fucking head on straight?
When the doorbell rang, Tom’s heart took off at a runaway pace.
Shit.
“Come in!”
Jennifer walked in. “Oh, you’re babysitting today?”
His heart pounded, but now he wasn’t sure if it was eagerness or self-loathing.
The bedroom door opened down the hall, Ty’s voice calling to them. “Are you all right, Thomas?”
“We’re fine. It’s just Jennifer.”
“All right. I’ll be finished in a moment.” The door shut again. Tom’s stomach knotted as he realized what he’d been doing.
No, that wasn’t right. He knew damn well what he’d been doing, just not
why
he’d been doing it. And he needed to rectify it. Today.
He would set the record straight today, apologize for flirting.
He had to.
Jennifer reached out and tickled the baby’s chin. “He’s such a cutie pie. I cannot get over those eyes. Just like his father.”
Her words burned inside him. “Yeah,” he agreed. “Just like his old man.”
“Do you need help getting out to the living room? I can sit here with him.”
He handed her a damp towel. “If you could just wipe him off and bring him, he’ll be okay crawling around on the floor for a minute until Ty’s done.”
“Okay.”
He watched her with his son, knowing in his heart Nevvie would kill him if she knew what he was thinking, what he’d been doing. When Jennifer picked Adam up, part of him wanted to tell her to put his son down.
But he wasn’t his son. Not really. He was Tyler’s.
He turned and carefully limped out to the living room on his crutches.
Tyler appeared a few moments later. “Ah, I see you’ve got our little chub taken care of. Did he give you any trouble?”
Thomas knew Tyler’s comments were directed at Jennifer, but he quickly answered.
“None at all, Tyler.”
Jennifer scooped the baby up and handed him to Tyler. “He’s a cutie, Mr. Paulson.”
Tyler cast a loving look at Thomas. “We think so. We’ve been very blessed, haven’t we, Thomas?”
Thomas silently groaned as he nodded his agreement, hating himself. Tyler still wasn’t laying sole claim to Adam, but Jennifer wouldn’t understand his comment.
“Well, I shall leave the two of you alone. Call me if you need me.” To Tommy’s immense relief, Tyler took Adam into his study and closed the door behind him.
Jennifer smiled. “Happy to see me?”
“Yeah.” He hated himself. “Real happy.”
* * * *
Near the end of their appointment, his leg cramped up. She stopped the exercises and started massaging it for him. About that time, Nevvie walked in the front door, carrying take-out sacks from a fast food restaurant.
“I brought lunch, Tommy,” she announced in a neutral tone as she put them on the kitchen counter, then disappeared into Tyler’s study and closed the door behind her.
“Thank you, Nevvie,” he called after her. His heart quickened, then he turned back to Jennifer.
He should tell her, tell her right now.
She smiled. “Better? Or…” She paused, her hand hesitating on his inner thigh. “Is there anywhere else you need massaged?” Her eyes bored into his. He’d picked up the pace of his flirting over the past few appointments, the adrenaline rush he got from each visit carrying him through to the next.
He stared at her, trying to force out a declaration of the truth but instead said, “What did you have in mind?”
“I could get into a lot of trouble,” she whispered. “I’m not supposed to get involved with clients.”
Thomas thought his heart would race out of his chest. “Who said I’m telling, sugar?”
Fuck!
It was like someone else controlled his goddamn mind. Maybe he could claim brain damage?
She leaned in closer as her hand traveled north up his thigh. “I really look forward to our sessions.”
“Me too.”
He froze when Nevvie opened the study door. She carried Adam on her hip and walked to the kitchen without a look his way. He couldn’t blame her, but now part of him prayed she would turn around. If she looked through the counter, she would see what was going on.
She would stop it. Stop him. Apparently he didn’t have the power to stop himself.
Nevvie turned away from the living room and settled Adam in his high chair.
His eyes returned to Jennifer. She didn’t think anything of it. Why the hell would she? He had led her to believe Nevvie was Tyler’s wife, not his.
Not theirs.
And that Tyler, the man he considered his soul mate—the man he’d been lovers with for most of Jennifer’s life—was just his friend. And that he was only staying there while he healed.
He felt helpless to stop her when she leaned in to kiss him. As her lips brushed his, he heard Tyler’s shocked voice.
“Bloody hell!”
Jennifer jumped. Tyler, his jaw gaping, stood in the living room doorway.
Startled, Nevvie turned and looked at Tyler, then followed his line of sight to the living room.
Thomas reddened.
Nevvie recovered her voice first although the calm, even tone of it scared the crap out of Thomas. “What the hell is going on?”
Jennifer sat back, embarrassed and jumping to the wrong conclusion. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.”
Tyler finally spoke. “You’re kissing our husband and you don’t think that’s going to offend us?”
Jennifer blinked in total confusion. “
Your
husband?” She looked at Thomas, to Tyler, then to Nevvie. “But you’re married to Mr. Paulson.”
“My name’s Nevaeh Kinsey-Paulson for a reason.” She pointed at Thomas. “He’s my husband, too. We’re polyamorous. He and Tyler were together for over ten years when they met me. They’re bisexual, honey.”
Jennifer stared, shocked. Tyler stood silent in the doorway. Jennifer looked at Thomas and backed away. “I thought you said they were married.”
“I know. I’m sorry, baby girl.”
Nevvie gasped. Her jaw dropped, like she was going to say something, then snapped closed again.