Authors: Delia Delaney
“Nothing,” I replied, shaking my head. “I’m not hurt, I’m just… I don’t know, i
t’s weird learning something is actually not what it seemed.”
He studied me for a few seconds. “You mean you liked the idea of me being interested in you, even
if
you had a kid? That made me a better guy in your opinion?”
“Not a ‘better’ guy…”
I didn’t know what else to say. I guess now
his
feelings were probably hurt, and I could understand why.
“Zack, I’m not good
at
this,” I admitted honestly. “I’m really not. That’s what all of that…hesitation and…discomfort
has been
about. I’m just not very good at relationships.”
“Don’t use that as an excuse,” he said.
“An excuse?”
“It doesn’t work with me. I’m pretty easy to get along with.”
“So
you
think.”
“I’m not?”
“Well you used to be.”
“What does that mean? Now that I kissed you, things have to be complicated? Why can’t I just like you and that be good enough?”
This is what I wasn’t good at;
I tended to over
think everything
. I did it for a reason—I chose to be cautious—but it also worked against me.
“I’m sorry,” I said sincerely. “Can we just start over?”
He actually had to consider it and that worried me. Especially when he said, “No, I don’t really want to start over.”
I was crushed, even though we barely even knew each other in the first place. “I’m sorry,” I said again. “I have a problem questioning everything and sometimes it ruins a good thing.”
“I know,” he smiled. “I’m kind of figuring you out. But that’s why I don’t want to start over. I’ll take everything just the way it’s happened.”
He stepped closer to me again and brushed my hair away from my face.
“I
really
like you, Taryn. Can we just go from there?”
I smiled, and then eventually nodded my head. He leaned down and kissed me again, and it felt just as special as the first time. But I think he was alarmed when he touched my arms.
“Oh
hell
, you’re freezing,” he said,
wrapping me up in his jacket again.
It instantly felt better, and I liked being that close to him again. “You put me here and I’ll never go home,” I told him.
“Well that’s okay with me,” he lightly laughed. “But you really should get going since it’s so late. I’m sorry I kept you so long.”
It was even harder to leave after that, but he did kiss me one more time and then we said goodbye.
I had an interesting drive home. I spent the time thinking over my entire history with Zack, and in hindsight
,
I could finally catch the little things that should have clued me in about him. Yeah, he was used to being around little kids, and I knew without a doubt that he would have liked me whether I had a daughter or not.
I got home that night and immediately began looking at the photos I’d taken. There were some great ones, and I was really excited to get started on them
.
However, I was unprofessional
,
and I sat in my room staring at all the pictures of Zack instead.
Chapter Six
“I don’t even know what you do for a living,” I said to Zack. He’d called the next morning around ten, and we’d been talking for a few minutes as I loaded my photos onto my computer.
“You think I work? Pssh, yeah right.”
I knew he was kidding, but I was more curious than ever. “Seriously, what do you do? You have to do something during the day, right?”
“Do I? Why, or I’m not a productive human being?”
“Zack, come on. I guess if you’re going to be difficult about it, then I won’t go out with you tonight.”
“Ouch. You’
d seriously punish yourself like that?”
I laughed and shook my head to myself. “I guess so. Well, I’ll talk to you another time then—”
“What? Oh
f
ine, if you really need to know.
”
“Of course I need to know.”
“Because you’ll run the other way when you find out I’m a male stripper?”
I laughed really hard that time, and it took me a while to compose myself.
“You done yet?” he asked after a while. “Thinking about my
naked
body is that
funny?”
“Maybe,” I said, continuing to chuckle. “So if you’re a stripper, then you have to promise to show me your signature move.”
It was his turn to laugh. “Signature
move
, huh? Alrighty, but you might be a little startled.”
“I’m ready to be startled.” I
made a couple of clicks
on the computer and then asked, “So how did your night end up? Get a little crazy with the boys last night?”
“My night ended with you; best way to end a night ever.”
I was happy to hear that but a little surprised. “You didn’t get together for the
‘
after party
’
party they were talking about?”
“Nah. All they do is drink and gamble. I don’t do either, so I just went to bed and thought about you all night.”
I was almost beginning to think this guy really did do something horrible for a living. Everything about him seemed to
o
good to be true. What if he was full of jokes just to cover up the fact that he did do something out of the ordinary? What if h
e was just trying to prepare me for something terrible?
“
You still there?”
he asked.
“Yes, I’m still here. Sorry, I’m doing two things at once
. I really hope your brother and his wife like their pictures because I think
these are
great.”
“I’m sure they are. And I’m sure they’ll love ‘em.”
I knew that to be true based on how much I liked being around them. It was probably why I was so excited for them to see the pictures. But they wouldn’t be home from their honeymoon for another week, so I had some time to wait.
“So you really need to answer my question, Zack. What do you do for a living?”
I expected him to give me the run around again, so I wa
s surprised when he said,
“I’m kind of a sucker for the mountain. Snowboarding is sort of a paying hobby.”
It took me a second to understand, and I finally
asked
, “You’re a professional snowboarder?”
“
Past tense
,” he replied. “I
was
a professional snowboarder. Up until
four
years ago.”
“What happened four years ago?”
“I broke my leg during a qualifying round. Kind of knocked myself unconscious too, but my leg… It pretty much ended my career before it
really
got started.”
“Wow, I’m sorry. So does your leg bother you still?”
“Mm, maybe a little. I still snowboard, but not as extreme. I just do it for fun.”
“So if you don’t board professionally, how do you make a living?”
He didn’t answer at first, and it made me curious. But finally he said, “I just, uh, picked up some work during my downtime and it’s kind of taken off over the past three years. I do consulting and stuff, and sometimes meet with other boarders and do product testing.
”
I thought about that for a few seconds and then said, “Hmm, that sounds interesting. Do you like it?”
“Yeah, I love it. I’m really busy, but I work my own schedule. I do most of the business aspect during the workweek, and I can even take care of a lot of it from my laptop from al
most anywhere. I try to keep days
open for family, but I travel about
three
weekends a month once September hits.”
“Are you at work right now?” I asked for some reason.
“Yeah, I am. Why?”
I chuckled. “No reason. Just flattered that you’d take the time to call me.”
“Of course I would. Shaun White could walk in here and I’d rather talk to you.”
“Oh yeah?” I smiled. “Have you met Shaun White?”
“Uh, yeah, I have. I’ve boarded with him in Silverton and Park City.”
“Really?”
“Uh-huh. So about tonight… Can I pick you up around seven?”
“Yeah, that sounds
great
. I’ll text you the address.”
“Perfect. Okay, I
gotta
get back to work, so I’ll see you tonight. I can’t wait to see you.”
“Likewise,” I said with a big smile.
It took me a while to get back to work
because all I could think about was Zack. While I was at the computer, I decided to Google him. If there was information about his snowboarding days, I wanted to see it.
I typed in
Zack McClain
and waited a few seconds for the results. I wasn’t surprised that a lot came up, but I wasn’t sure how much was
actually
relevant to
my
Zack McClain.
It didn’t take me long to figure out that most of it
was
relevant to him.
I was particularly interested in the photos right away, so I clicked on thos
e first
and ended up browsing through at least fifty pictures of him. Based on a few captions with the photos, and a couple of articles I ended up
skimming
through
, it was obvious that Zack had
talent.
“
It’s no wonder McClain’s career ended after a devastating crash in Park City,”
one article said. I read further, only to learn that he’d broken his leg in four different places and dislocated his shoulder. And he received a pretty bad concussion
that kept him in and out of consciousness for several days
.
He tried to get back into it a year later, but his body just wasn’t the same anymore
,
and he decided to call it quits.
It made me really sad to read so many things that stated
how
good he could have been. I guess life changes for everyone though, and Zack certainly seemed happy
despite his setbacks.
I
went
to read another article with his name in it, but when the page opened, it was only a website
for a snowboard company
and I closed it. I chose another article just as Maggie entered the room and said, “Taryn, I’m bored.”
“You’re bored, huh?” I asked, spinning around in my chair to face her. “What do you feel like doing?”
She shrugged. “Play B
arbies?”
“I thought that’s what you were doing?”
She shook her head no.
I wished Maggie had more interaction with other kids besides just soccer once a week. Bethany
had a little boy, and sometimes she
watched another child or two when she had Maggie, but those kids were two-year-olds.
“Okay, how about you give me five minutes to close up my work and I’ll come play with you.”
She nodded and left the room.
I did find a good stopping point for my work and I found Maggie in her room. We played
with
Barbies for almost an hour, and then we read a couple of books. I knew I needed to get some more work done, but she seemed really disappointed when she agreed with a
gloomy, “Okay.”
What Maggie needed was preschool. She needed to be somewhere she could play with kids and learn things. I
’d already
told
Rachel
that, and she said, “Yeah, I know, I’ll get her in somewhere.”
Of course it never happened.
I did go back to my computer for another hour, but when I had a few errands to run, Maggie was happy to come along
for something to do
. I took my memory card to my favorite photo shop, and while we waited for my order, Maggie and I did a little shopping across the street. We had a fun time, and my niece even felt pretty pleased to pick out the wedding album I was going to use to make a special gift for Melissa and Jason
—it was something I liked to do as a bonus
. When we made it back home it was almost six, and I knew I had to hurry if I was going to be ready for Zack to pick me up for dinner.
By the time it was six forty-five, my sister wasn’t even home yet. I
got that familiar feeling again
and I just knew she was going to come home late that night.