Love UnCharted (Love's Improbable Possibility) (43 page)

“Succulent,” I mutter sardonically. He wasn’t getting it. I wasn’t getting through to him. 

“That’s how I would describe you.”

I gasped. As much as it is flattering, if Azmir thinks he can placate my concerns by way of flirtation he’s got another thing coming!

“Yeah, about that...”
5-4-3-2-...
I do my count and brace myself. “Sex with you doesn’t help my tumult state. It furthers my bewilderment.”

“So what are you saying, Rayna?”

“I don’t know...you know...” I look down at my plate, trying to unravel my feelings. Looking out at the water, I notice the sun has finally set and darkness is fully upon us. That’s what my mood had settled into—a dark place. “Maybe we should slow that part of our relationship down...just until we’re at a place where we both are comfortable and want to be.”

Azmir laughs and does so unapologetically. This goes on for nearly two full minutes. He eventually drops his fork and knife and sits up in his chair.
 

“Are you going to finish your food?” he asked calmly with a trace of a smile on his lips. Lips that I am finding very hard to ignore right now.
I have to be strong I can’t think about food right now.
He snaps his fingers to call on the waiter.

“I'm sorry the humor in that missed me,’” I hiss.

Ihu arrives.

Azmir’s eyes are glued to mine as his smirk quickly disintegrates into darkness and he leans into me to say, “You cannot and will not ever deny me of you. I can have him empty this table, close these curtains, and I’ll throw your ass on it and have you for dinner instead,” without a flinch. It’s similar to the look and time he gave Brian Thompson that night in San Diego. Once again, I’m face-to-face with the dark side of Azmir. His eyes are cold and I can feel my goose bumps rising.
 

“I’ll finish my food,” I squealed petulantly.
 I was at a loss, now even more so. 

Azmir spoke to Ihu in almost a whisper. It was clear he didn’t want me to hear. I knew I’d pissed him off. I’d just hoped that he wasn’t going through with his threat. I don’t think I could’ve survived that. Azmir the CEO was present as ever. This man could sure switch it up lately. This time he’s doing it to me. How could I blame him with all the attitude I’d been giving him. Justified or not, he doesn’t know. And the bottom line is, I don’t know how to tell him.

Azmir goes back to eating his food in silence as do I. Something deep down inside told me I needed to calm down, that my worries were unfounded and self-inflicted. 

Minutes later, once we’re done eating, Aata visits the table and asks Azmir, “Mr. Jacobs, would you and Ms. Brimm like to retreat to the open beach lounge for dessert or would you prefer it here?”
 

I had no room for dessert. I was stuffed and frankly preoccupied. Azmir gazed at me and slowly said, “Open beach, Aata.”

“Okay, great. This way please, sir, ma’am.”

Azmir and I rise from the table and I’m gestured to go ahead of him and follow Aata. We walk down a few feet, west of our dinner tent to the most awe-inspiring lounge on the beach I’ve ever seen. Continuing with the white linen theme, there was a sofa-like seats arranged in an “L” shape with an oversized coffee table in the center. All the furniture sat on pine-wicker bases, giving a homely feel to it, except the seaside view reminded you that you were out in nature. Lights burned by way of tiki torches and a bonfire in the sand, all of this illumination creating the most beautiful glow against the sand, water, and moon.
 

I must have been stopped in my tracks by it because Azmir whispered in my ear, “Let’s go and have a seat.”

I turned toward his voice and looked up to see the glow bounce off his chocolate skin. Trying to calm myself, I continued my stride towards the display. We are seated and Aata leaves us to ourselves. I can’t help my gawking at the entire scenery. This man’s romance has no boundaries. How does he know how to court me so well? It further fueled my frustrations with our relationship.

“Why, Azmir? Why for me?”

With a trace of irritation on his face he snorts as he sits back to find comfort for his long torso on the sofa. He murmurs, “You have no clue, do you.” He phrases it with incredulity rather than in a question form.

“As a matter of fact, I don’t. This is what I was trying to say earlier. I’m so bewildered here,” I mutter lowly.

Aata returns and is accompanied by Ihu. They’re carrying stainless steel salver trays. Aata has two and sets one down. Azmir is biting his thumb nail. Can this night get anymore odd?  

“Mr. Jacobs, Ms. Brimm, your dessert selections tonight,” Aata says and then looks to Ihu who uncovers his tray. “In this selection, we have your traditional American favorites; apple pie, caramel bread pudding, sherbet, chocolate lava cake, carrot cake, crème brûlée, and key-lime pie.” I notice Azmir’s attention is elsewhere as he gazes behind the sofa with his arm resting on the back of it.

Aata then removes the cover from his tray and continues with, “Here, we have our traditional Polynesian favorites such as haupia pudding, pineapple tortes, kulolo, banana guava pie, Lilikoi chiffon cake, and an assortment of bars.” 

Aata’s attention turns to the third tray that sits on the center table before me. He doesn’t raise the cover, but touches it and Azmir, out of nowhere, says, “Rayna Brimm, your gift of friendship has been far beyond the scope of anything that I can reference.” He leans into me, “You said that I’ve never told you I loved you and you’re right, but not because I don’t. It’s because love is a phenomenon that I’ve survived without for so long that when it slapped me in the face a few months back, it staggered me. It took some time for me to adjust to the force of nature, and clearly, it has caused you a bit of confusion.” Azmir squares his shoulders and clears his throat.

“So here it is: Ms. Brimm, I love you. I’ve loved you since the moment we sat in the bleachers at the Lakers game at the Staples Center last spring and I watched as you informed your girlfriend of your whereabouts.” My breathing caught in my throat. Between the aquatic backdrop, the romantic ambiance, and the powerful words that were pouring from Azmir’s lips, I questioned whether I was in a deep sleep and in a captivating dream. I remained quiet as he continued, “I fell in love with you the night we had to rush to the hospital to see about Michelle during your first visit to my apartment.” Azmir’s long lashes descended, closing his eyes as if he were removing a mask and it was difficult to be this vulnerable.

“I haven’t told you because I didn’t know what I was feeling. I guess you could say that I denied it. Hell, I was in denial for over a month until I realized that I was experiencing ‘
Brimm withdrawal
’ and set out to find you in Jersey. I’m no religious man, but I do come from love and therefore honor the institution. My parents embodied it, well and clearly.” He exhaled deeply. “I want you, Rayna. I want all of you. I want to complete you and have you back me. I want to give you my children to carry and birth. I want to protect you and provide for you until the day I die.” He cracked his signature panty-snatching smirk, expressing amusement, “There’s a lot about this shit that I don’t know...but I think I’m in good company because yo’ ass don’t know shit about it either. Please do me the honor of carrying my surname, sharing my world, and becoming my life-partner. Please marry me.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Azmir

Aata opens the third tray that holds the five carat emerald cut diamond engagement ring. I’m nervous as hell, hoping she approves.

She’s still, mouth open in collapse, frozen in time. I could throw a pebble in her mouth and make the shot.
Rayna, you’ve been out of character for the past two days. Don’t do this, baby. Don’t say no.

I turn to look at Aata, “We’re gonna need a minute here.”

He and the waiter excused themselves as I maintain my gaze on Rayna.

“If you don't like it we can go for something bigger. I know you’re not a flashy—”

“You wanna marry me?” she asked, still looking shell-shocked. 

What an odd question. “Yes, sweetheart. I want you to be my wife.”
Why is that such a difficult concept?

“But...but...I thought you didn’t...” she mutters before her voice falls off.

“I didn’t what?” I ask forcefully.

“...you didn’t love me!” she rushed out before silently balling her eyes out.

I took a minute to gather my thoughts.
How much does that word weigh in gold?
Damn.
Did I fuck this up by taking so long to tell her?
I grabbed her hands from her face and cupped her chin with my other hand.

“I’m sorry...I didn’t know. You’re not the only one with deficiencies here. Baby, you’re special to me...you have been since you came into my boardroom. I had no idea what awaited me. I was so intrigued by your allure, and as much as I told myself to leave you alone, I kept pursuing you.”

Rayna peered at me with desperate eyes. She thirsted for my truth and I tried giving it to her to the best of my articulation, which was very difficult as a man. But I felt I had owed her that seeing that I was constantly begging her to open up to me. 

I massaged my eyes in exasperation—not of her, but of the need to chronicle my feelings. Perhaps I’m failing her by not expressing them enough.
Shit.
How can I get her to see?
 

I close my eyes and moan,
 “Rayna, baby, why do you think it took me so long to touch you? ...it took me so long to eat from the forbidden fruit purposely...well, until I couldn’t hold out any longer.” Well, that was part of the reason.

She snorted.
Humorous?
Good. Now we’re getting somewhere. 

“You say that as if you had a choice,” she clapped back.

“Trust, I could have had that ass months before I finally tasted it.” 

“I beg your pardon?” she pouted beautifully.

“Ms. Brimm, I could have fucked you on the table that night at Mahogany. Shit, I’ll put up fifty stacks that I could have had that ass in Puerto Vallarta.”

“Mr. Jacobs, you’re far more confident than I took you for.”
 

“I speak facts, Brimm.” Her body language and response confirmed what I’d already known. “Anyway...we’re getting off subject.” There was no need to argue about something I’d already owned—I owned it, Rayna’s pussy was mine.

Suddenly epiphanized, I stood from my seat and stationed myself over her before lowering my body onto one knee. Her eyes widened in total disbelief. I was desperate for her to understand just how austere my motives were. I grabbed the ring, lifting it from its gripping position inside the box and bringing it to her hand. Her mouth swung open as her body trembled from jitteriness.  

“For the third time, Rayna, will you please put me out of my agony and agree to my hand in marriage?”

Within long seconds, she nodded her head over and over with manic enthusiasm. For the first time ever, she gave me an immediate response. As I picked her up from the sofa and swung her in the air, tears came and her nose ran, racing them down to her mouth. I motioned for Aata to bring tissues. He was there in a nanosecond.

She cried out, “Oh my god, Azmir, I didn’t know you wanted to marry me! I didn’t know...” We’d gained an audience because out of nowhere I heard an outbursts of applause. The live band that was a few feet away had begun to play some type of festive number.

I wiped her face, trying to hide my relief and my laughter. She’s rarely this vulnerable...this raw. I just wanted to relish in it. But I knew there was something behind her doubtful expectations of me. I’d just have to work toward dispelling any reservations. I had never felt so happy and accomplished before in my life. And although I knew I wouldn’t be complete until the day she actually became my wife, I’d felt a sense of satisfaction that was unrivaled. 

Rayna grew conscious of the attention from the crowd. I knew she didn’t like attention on her so I whispered, “Let’s go back to the house where we’ll have more privacy.”

After I signed for the bill and we thanked our well-wishers, we left.

Rayna didn’t want to turn in right away, so I ran inside to grab a blanket and then we stole a spot on the beach, next to our bungalow. The area was mildly lit and very secluded. The water was calm and the breeze generous. We sat next to each other in silence, I assumed, both trying to reel in our thoughts about this next step. I was very much sure about my proposal and had put a lot of thought into it, but there were still a few reservations that I held onto myself. Much of which came from not knowing much about Rayna’s past.

I had my hands in a few pots, trying to learn more about her, but I’d totally missed the low-down about her brother. I spazzed out on Washington who is the head of my private information’s team. He wasn’t even near that fact. Before leaving I’d learned the nature of his stint, but I’m still waiting to hear why Rayna has kept it from me and why in the hell is it something she doesn’t want to talk about. Washington’s career hung in the balance of this intel. I was fully prepared to fire him and had already had my assistant working on other investigative firms. Shit...even he knew I was prepared to marry this woman and she reveals this just days before I hit my knee. It wasn’t a good look for him. And for me, whatever makes no sense makes no money.