Love Undefeated (Unexpected #5) (34 page)

And since their son wasn’t there, because he was still in the air, flying, traveling to get here, I’d stand in his place.

I couldn’t take his place, but my shoulder would be here for his family to lean on if they needed it.

A young male doctor who looked like he’d graduated medical school at the age of twelve opened the locked door and walked towards us.

“Mr. Lockheed?” His eyes settling on my companion, who was now standing with his coat jacket hanging over his left arm.

Even in times like these, he still looked like a businessman.

“Yes,” Korbel replied, his eyes on the doctor, worry written all over his face.

“Is it okay to share the information with company present?” Doogie Howser, M.D., asked. Doogie Howser MD was a classic TV show that my sister, Geniah, used to watch when she was about seven years old. I was Geniah’s patient, so whatever ailment Doogie’s patient had, I was forced to reenact them. My mother drew the line at sharp objects and surgeries, but Geniah adored the little guy who grew up to be Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother. Oh how the mighty had fallen. From genius medical doctor to a guy who had one night stands.

Korbel eyed me and said, “Yes. She’s family.”

Family.

Let me take a deep breath in and hold it there.

If I turned blue, will Doogie — his name tag stated Mike Dews, but I’m allowed to call him whatever name I wanted to call him in my head — help me?

Mike/Doogie proceeded, “Your wife has a hematoma. We’re trying to see if it’s going to get bigger. We’re hoping it will resolve on its own. Right now we’re just watchfully waiting.”

“Will she regain consciousness soon? Was I too late?” The latter question making my heart fall. He couldn’t have predicted that this would have happened. He couldn’t blame himself.

“At this point I don’t know. We’ll continue to watch if the bleed is improving.” Mike-alias-Doogie explained, “In the meantime, I’d advise you to get some rest. We can’t have a lot of visitors in her room because we need to minimize noise and activity around her. I know it’s hard for you right now…” Doogie’s tone was empathetic.

“It’s difficult to see your loved one go through this. But the best that you can do is to try to get some rest so that you’ll have the energy to get through the next couple of hours or days.” Mike deserved his MD title. It didn’t matter if he looked like a teenager discussing the fate and well-being of the wife of the man standing beside me. How he delivered the news meant everything.

“Are you her doctor?” I asked, out of curiosity and filled with respect.

“I’m the attending physician.” Mike reached out his hand. “I’m sorry I didn’t introduce myself. I’ve had a busy day, but it’s no excuse.”

Xavier’s father took his hand first. “I’m Korbel, Cyrene’s husband. This is Nalee, my son’s girlfriend. My son’s flying now, he’s on his way over.”

“Nice to meet you Korbel and Nalee.” Mike’s smile was broad and gentle. “It’s never a good thing when we meet during these circumstances, but I want to let you know that we’ll be doing everything for her.”

“Please do,” Korbel said, his eyes holding a faraway look. “Can I see my wife now?”

Mike nodded and led the way.

I was going to stay behind. I wasn’t immediate family, so I’d hear more from Xavier’s dad when he returned to the waiting room.

Just as I was about to plant my butt on the chair, Xavier’s dad looked back, confusion on his face, and said, “What’re you doing, Nalee? Aren’t you going with me? You’re family.”

My feet moved.

I was family.

Xavier arrived a little past eleven.

He’d gone straight to the hospital, and by the time he got home, it was four in the morning.

I barely remembered him getting into our room and sleeping beside me.

I’d left the hospital at nine, to the advice of the nurses and the encouragement of Xavier’s dad.

Korbel had hugged me and said, “This means a lot to my family.”

I’d hugged him back. “Your son would do the same for mine.”

Xavier would.

Of that I held no uncertainty.

I’d sat with his father, watching his wife connected to a variety of tubes. Some were white, others blue.

The sounds of the machine ticking and beeping around us.

Xavier’s father didn’t breathe a word, but the love he had for his wife spoke volumes.

Love wasn’t simple.

It was complicated to say the least.

It had ebbs and flows. The waves go up and down, never in a flat line.

You fight, you get mad, you come into blows.

Those are the declines.

The ebbs
.

You laugh, you hug, you make up and make love.

Those are the regrowths.

The flows
.

If love was a flat line, there would be no room for improvement.

Life with the person you loved could not be stagnant.

It took years, decades for the love between Korbel and Cyrene to grow.

It took their whole lives to get to know each other on the deepest, most intimate level.

It wasn’t easy with Xavier.

We’d dealt with losses, but so came the gains.

He was already up before me, the sunlight breaking into our room, highlighting the exhaustion in his deep green eyes.

“My mom has Parkinson’s.” It was a muted whisper, but I heard it loud and clear.

I turned to his side, leaving my fingers splayed on his bare chest.

“My dad’s barely recovering from his aneurysm. The last time I’d gone with him to his doctor’s appointment, his doctor warned him to watch out for stress,” he breathed, my hand rising with his chest.

“I’m here for you,” I said, his hand reaching to my face, pushing away the hair that covered my eyes.

“I’ll be here to hold your hand through this. Whatever you need from me, I will give you.”

“How do I deal with this, Nales?” A solemn request cloaked in the guise of a question.

“By waking up every day. Dealing with it in the best that you can. Solving problems as they come. Facing them rather than running away. By being there for them when they need you. By leaning on my shoulder when you need me.” The onslaught of emotions were running over my mouth.

“Is that how you dealt with the loss of our baby?” A river of liquid reached my forehead. It broke my heart to feel him cry.

“There were times when I didn’t know how to deal with it.” It seemed so long ago, yet the memories stayed like yesterday’s. “When you left me, I was angry. At you. At me. At the world. I blamed you for everything.”

His shoulders trembled, my vision starting to fill with wavy lines.

“I kept saying, ‘If Xavier was here, this wouldn’t have happened. If Xavier loved me enough, my daughter would still be here.’ If,
if
, if. I’m not the strongest girl. I can barely hold my own in front of a crowd. I only make jokes with my best friends because I fear that everyone else around me will judge me or make fun of me or just not like me.”

He stayed mum, the only response I got was the wetness on the top of my head and the rise and fall of his chest.

“After
her
, I felt like nothing in this world could get me down. I miss her constantly, terribly, so much. I would trade anything for her. But life has to go on. Sometimes I see her in my dreams and I feel her, as if she’s telling me to keep going forward.”

He lowered his head.

His jaw touched my cheek.

And the wetness from his eyes blended into mine.

“You face it, whatever it is, as it comes. I can’t predict what’s gonna happen to us. I can’t know what’s in our future.”

I moved my body on top of his, clamped my legs down over his, and touched my hands with his.

“All I know is that I’m here with you and you’re here with me. I love you. You love me. Anything else we can deal with.”

“I’m not strong enough for you.” The sparkle in his eyes dimmed, defeat threatening to swallow him whole.

“You don’t need to be strong for me.”

“I’m not strong enough for them.” Doubt circling his thoughts, I couldn’t, wouldn’t ever let it get the better of him.

Still holding his hands, I pulled our arms in the space between our chests, and said, “Us. Together. We can be strong enough for them.”

“Don’t worry about me, son.” My mom’s green eyes crinkled, her smile reaching my heart.

I used to be called a momma’s boy in grade school.

I had my mom wait for me to get out to class and walk with me to my second period class.

It went on for over a month and one day, I’d told her that I was okay to walk to class alone.

I didn’t care that my classmates teased me.

I was comfortable having my mother there and when I was confident enough that I could do it,

I walked to class by myself.

I’d just turned twenty seven. In three years, I’d be hitting thirty.

And I’m still not ashamed to let the world know that I needed my mother.

She was the anchor that held my dad and I at bay.

We would be lost without her.

“Did you take your meds today?” I asked, knowing full well that she did. My dad hired a private nurse after she was discharged from the hospital a month ago to the day.

She merely nodded, her eyes landing on the colorful shrubs she’d asked our helper to prune. She liked to do it herself, but her bones were still recovering from the fall.

She couldn’t bend or twist or basically move her body the way she used to before the accident.

Her neurologists had warned us that it would take a while.

A while meaning any time from four months to a year.

“Dad wants to go back to work,” I said. My dad had discussed with me that he wanted to go back, starting on a weekly basis at the end of the month. “He said he’s getting bored. Now that you got a nurse, you only want to spend time with Claudia. He feels like a third wheel.”

My mom’s lilting laughter echoed in the den. She was sitting on her rocking chair, a yellow and blue quilt hung over her arms, and a small flowered cup of tea was on her right side, which she’d been sipping on every now and then.