Love Unspoken (19 page)

Unable to help herself, Noelle parted her lips on a sigh. It had
been so long since they were together. She could feel his erection prodding
against her sex. Her heart thundered and her womb clenched. How would she go on
without ever holding him close, feel his large cock moving within her, the
warmth of his seed spilling into her. How she would miss the sight of his mouth
curled around her nipples sucking hard, his head between her legs licking her
folds. She would go insane without hearing that harsh cry she’d wrung from him
each and every time he ejaculated in her mouth. She adored the sound and it had
become a symphony to her ears.

His hands went to her shoulders, pushing her to the ground,
sprinklings of sawdust rising in the air. She didn’t fight him. With the crisp
hay scratching at her back, she turned her gaze from the prying eyes of the two
horses secured in their stalls. Noelle felt the tears she wanted so badly to
keep hidden, race down her face. Cole brushed the back of his hand across her
cheeks.

“Don’t cry. Please, beauty. Don’t cry.”

She shook her head and tried to push him away but he held her firm.
“I’ll make it better. I’ll make you feel good,”
he signed, his lips
trailing along her nape.

Jerking her legs wide, Cole knelt between them. He reached for
the buckle on his belt, quickly pulling it part before shoving his jeans past
his hips.

“I don’t want you,” she whispered. It sounded weak to her ears.
“Don’t make me want you, Cole. Please don’t.”

Her plea went unanswered. Calloused fingers delved under her wool
skirt and plucked down her underwear in one sweep. The cold air kissed between
her thighs, licking the moist heat centered in her sex. Moaning, Noelle pressed
her back against a barrel of hay as Cole shoved inside her pussy in one long stroke.
He held her knees apart, a blanket of sheer determination written on his
handsome features.

Noelle scraped her hands to the hay-strewn floor. It dug into her
opened palms but she didn’t care. Her body jerked, bouncing with each thrust of
his massive build slamming into her.

Noelle cried out, passion and heartache overtaking her emotions.
Cole was fucking her so hard as if he was trying to exorcise her from his mind.

Unacceptable.

“Y-You can’t forget me, can you?” she asked, teeth chattering.
Noelle closed her hand over his massive shoulder. “Were you thinking of this,
Cole, how good we are together? Did you want someone to fuck? Tell me, damn
you, is that why you contacted me?”

His eyes flashed. Palpable pain skidded across his features.
Staring up at the wooden beams high on the ceiling, Cole withdrew then drove
into her with savage force. Noelle whimpered in pleasure pain. Lifting her hips,
she matched him thrust for every primitive thrust he gave her.

“You will never forget me, cowboy. No matter how hard you try,
you’ll always remember me because I won’t forget you.”

He leaned forward and circled his arms around her shuddering
frame, bringing her closer, his cock pummeling at her walls.

Noelle bit her trembling lips. She loved him so much it hurt. 
With her arms around his muscular back, she rested her head on his shoulder.

“What am I going to do without this?” she murmured, feeling her
pussy clench around his thick shaft.

What will I do without you?

She dreaded the thought of living
the rest of her life
without him. To run the chance of never seeing him again. It was unimaginable.
Unthinkable. But after she left today she would have no reason, no excuse to
return. She didn’t want to grow old without having lived a life with him.
Noelle wanted to scream in anguish.

Against her control, a sob tore from her throat. Cole stroked the
back of her hair with aching tenderness as the head of his cock pounded at the
entrance of her cervix.

 She wasn’t going to last much longer. Like a coil, Noelle felt
herself wounding tighter and tighter the faster Cole plowed inside her. She
knew him and knew her man was going to climax soon. He was going to come deep
inside her. The thought alone was enough to spiral her over the edge.

She was on the pill so there’d be no chance of getting pregnant.
God knew she wouldn’t have minded. She wasn’t overly fond of children, but with
him, she would have wanted one. She would have wanted everyone to know she’d taken
a part of Cole inside her body and something beautiful had sprung from it. Because
their love was beautiful despite what anyone thought. Yes, she would have done
so proudly.

When her orgasm hit, Noelle felt her legs shake and her entire
body quiver. His warm lips were everywhere on her, his hands touching all over.
When his fingers landed on her belly, caressing the area below her navel,
Noelle cried out in joy. “Come for me, Cole.”

He pressed his forehead to hers. Taking hold of a handful of her
hair, he surged deep, holding himself still. Wetness flooded into her, hot and
thick. Noelle stroked his back, savoring the feel of his semen coating the tiny
bruises inside her cunt.

“Promise me you won’t hold anyone else like this.”
Promise you
won’t have sex with anyone else.

He lowered his face and brushed his lips across hers. For once
Noelle wished he could speak, to demand an answer from him. It was all too easy
for him to ignore her questions, regardless of the absurdity of her request to
someone who claimed not to want any part of a relationship with her.

Cole slid his cock from her drenched sex and Noelle felt her
sanity return. Realizing where they were, it hit her hard what she allowed to
happen. Minutes earlier at his house, Cole admitted he didn’t want her on the
property and like a fool she was laying on her back in a barn mid afternoon,
her pussy wet and dripping with his cum, so much that it trickled to her inner
thighs, which were splayed wide for his viewing.

His hands worked fast to right his jeans and buckle the large
black belt he had been so quick to open. Shakily, Noelle drew her legs together
and reached for her underwear, raising it over her ankles. She sneaked a peek
at him. No surprise, he avoided her gaze.

Pain squeezed around her heart. “We just had sex, Cole. I think
it’s a bit late to try and act modest, pretend like it didn’t happen.”

His shoulders squared.
“You wouldn’t understand.”

“How can I understand? You shut me out. You won’t tell me
anything.”

Cole jabbed a finger, gesturing outside one of the opened
windows.
“Look around. You have eyes. This place is falling apart. It’s hard
not to notice isn’t it?”

Noelle gasped. “Cole, I didn’t—”

He held up a hand then signed,
“I’m up to my neck in work.
There’s too much. You. My family. The ranch. It won’t work.”

Her heart fell for him and herself. Cole had too much on his
shoulders and now he viewed her as a burden he had to lose.

“I didn’t realize it was hard for you to be with me. If I’d known,
I would have ended things myself before I got caught up in our relationship.”

“No. Never like that. I care about you, but I knew it wouldn’t
work out. I can’t take care of you like you deserve.”

“I’ve never set out to give you the impression I needed to be
taken care of. I don’t care about what you have or don’t have.” Noelle took a
deep breath. She was going to chance it one last time. “I want to be here, with
you,” she told him softly.

He bent low and grasped the handle of a broom. When he lifted his
head to look at her, Noelle flinched at the harsh bleakness in his eyes.
“Go
home, Noelle. There’s nothing here for you.”

The breath left her body. Her last card had failed. “Well, can’t
say I didn’t try.” She bit her lips, hoping to see a reaction from him. “It was
nice while it lasted and I definitely can’t say I regretted the sex. At least
that you can give me, right?” Bitterness laced each word, but it didn’t matter.
If he could be so callous then so would she. How else could she mask some of
the hurt to not look like a complete fool?

“Goodbye, Cole.”

A muscle in his jaw ticked. The hand on the handle of the broom
tightened. She wondered for a second if it would snap under his grip.
Unrelenting, Cole maintained his distance. Noelle gave a nod. Never again would
she shed a tear for him if he thought she gave a fuck about his lack of
finances.

She had chosen him over her family. His family hadn’t tormented
and harangued him to make a choice. He chose to go out of his way and sacrifice
her. No one forced him to. Noelle crossed her arms around her middle. One
person didn’t make a relationship. Cole made his decision. She had to accept
the fact that whether he spoke the truth or not, the interest was gone. Had to
stop thinking about ‘Cole and Noelle’. It was her alone from here on out. And
she was
not
going to return to the Tumbling Y to upset him or his
family. Not when she was an expert at that with her own.

Chapter
Eighteen

Things weren’t getting any better. Sure his father was out of the
hospital, the bout of pneumonia treated and cleared. Cole was thankful for his
father’s recovery, but it didn’t make things any easier for him. He was worse
off than he could have ever imagined.

The deep bristling cold of winter was out in full force, making
him contemplate things he never imagined. Defeat was a hard pill to swallow.
The success he had in fall with the sale of a quarter the herd of Angus bulls
hadn’t been enough to make up for the costs associated with his father’s rising
medical care and equipment needing to be replaced or fix. It was just as he
told Noelle months ago. It was too much. No one could deny he’d done his best
to save the place and keep his family secured. At the expense of Noelle.

Not a day went by he didn’t think of her. The pathetic thing was,
after sending her away, he’d still held on to hope of making the ranch a
success…for her. He wasn’t doing it for his family, as much as he loved them.
The one driving force that kept him out there until well after midnight seven
days a week, taking on the duties of the workers he couldn’t afford to keep. He
knew it was selfish of him, fixating her on when she could do a hundred times
better than him. Only snag in that line of thinking was his love for her. He
loved her and wanted her back. The intensity of his need for her shook him to
the core. Noelle was the only woman for him and he was the only man for her.
He
was the only man who could love her as she deserved. He hoped to God, she
had meant what she said about not caring about his lack of money and status.
Yep. He was a selfish bastard, trying to condemn the woman he loved to a life
with him, without the luxuries another man could provide her.

“Are you sure about this?” his father asked.

What other choice did he have? At the moment it was a one-man
show that was failing miserably.
“I’m sure.”

Snow flurries fell from the sky landing on the snowcapped earth.
Cole sighed. Another night spent without his woman in his arms. Yet another day
went by without Noelle knowing how fucking hard he tried to make this work for
them.

Through the corner of his eyes, Cole glanced at his parents. His
father, despite his failing health, had his arm around his mother’s shoulder
offering comfort in light of their situation.

Jealousy gnawed at him. Even in the worst times, his parents had
each other. That in itself had to lessen the blow of losing the ranch; having
someone there to talk to, get comfort and reassurances from, however false they
might be. Slinging his hat lower over his head, Cole issued a curt nod,
allowing them privacy. The same privacy he would have wanted with Noelle.

He wondered how she had dealt with his rejection a second time.
Had she received comfort from her family? Was Mr. Williams treating her better now
that he was out of the picture?

He damn well better be.

Or maybe Noelle hadn’t needed a shoulder to cry on. Perhaps,
whatever tenderness she carried for him melded into a deep-seated anger and
hatred.

Either way, he would find out tomorrow.

****

The Williams house appeared smaller, less imposing than he
remembered. Nothing felt the same this instance as he pressed his finger to
silver doorbell. The door opened and Cole stepped backward, half expecting to
see the face of an annoyed Mr. Williams, thick mustache and all.  Instead, a
dark skinned black woman around the same height as Noelle answered the door.
Cole had seen her before, but he doubted the woman knew who he was.

Mrs. Williams craned her neck, looking him up and down. Her
apparent shock at his size worn off, she smiled at him from behind the door.
Her high cheekbones reminded him so much of Noelle. “Good afternoon.”

Cole stared at her knowing he had to do something. Removing his
hat, he reached into his pocket, pulled out the notepad and scribbled. The poor
woman, he didn’t want her to think she had a psycho at her doorway.

Good afternoon Ma’am. My name is Cole McKinney. I used to work
over on Mr. Somerset’s ranch. I’m here to see your daughter Noelle. Is she
here?

The older woman’s eyebrows shot up. Her mouth opened and closed.
Before she could give him an answer, another voice sounded at the doorway.
Disappointment settled in him. The voice lacked the hint of huskiness to
Noelle’s tone.

“Who is it, Momma?” He assumed the woman was Noelle’s sister, based
on the high cheekbones identical to Noelle and Mrs. Williams. She stopped
beside her mother and stared at Cole. Recognition flickered in her eyes.

“You’re that guy who broke my sister’s heart, aren’t you?”

Cole clenched his jaw. Damn, he hadn’t expected an outright
attack. But the girl was correct. He ignored her and looked toward Mrs.
Williams.