Love Unspoken (17 page)

Cole guessed it was well after ten o’clock. He looked toward the
main house, knowing his parents were in there, hopefully sound asleep and their
mind eased somewhat that he’d taken over the duties. They had probably assumed
he’d quit working hours ago. He couldn’t. There was too much at stake, too many
people depending on him.

Ready to turn in for the night, Cole stopped as a figure, huddled
under a thick sweater, made his way from the house. His father. He thought the
man would be in bed resting.

“Cole, why don’t you go on in? Your mother’s awake and inside
worried and I’m terrified you’re going to end up like me, a broken down cowboy
way before your time.”

Too late for that.

“I’m fine. You’re the one who shouldn’t be out here.”

“Neither should you. It’s not good for a young man to spend every
waking minute working.”

Cole lifted an eyebrow. He’d been working since before the crack
of dawn ever since he’d left school. It was the only thing he knew. If he
didn’t put in the hours who else would?

“I have to.”

His father coughed, the hacking force shaking his fragile body.
“You don’t have to, Cole. Your mother, brother and I appreciate everything
you’ve been doing to keep us afloat.” His father looked up at the moon. “I
guess what I’m trying to say, son, is that maybe it’s better if we sell the
place. Your mom and I can move into a smaller place, you’d be free to do
something for yourself and not be tied down to the land taking care of us.”

Cole stiffened. His father couldn’t be serious. All the years of
work he…they’d put into this place and now he wanted to get rid of it. If that
happened, he wouldn’t be able to lay claim to a single thing in this world.
He’d already lost Noelle, he couldn’t bear to lose the ranch, not when it was
so important in getting her back. To show her that he would be able to take
care of her.

He shook his head.
“That’s not an option. This is important to
me.”

His father sighed, brows furrowed. “Sometimes I regret buying
this place. I had such high hopes about our life here. Wanted to give your
mother a good life, you and your brother too. Sometime things just don’t turn
out the way we planned it, huh?”

“Derek will be fine. He won’t have to worry about this place.”

A hand went around his shoulders as his father spoke. “I’m sorry
about that Cole. I mean your mother and I. It wasn’t fair that you never had
the same opportunities.”

Cole shrugged. It didn’t matter anymore.
“Can’t change the
past, dad. I just really need this to work out.”

His father sighed. “What if we never get the ranch up and running
again, Cole? I’m worried about you. You’ve been doing this for weeks now, it’s
gonna take a toll on you after a while, believe me. I’m pissed at myself for
not being able to help you as much as I should. How long are you going to keep
this up —working yourself into the ground?”

Cole ran a hand through his hair.
For as long as it takes
before Noelle forgets me.
“I can’t stop. It’s not just about me.”
Cole paused and thought for a moment if he should even mention Noelle to his
father. He did. He needed to talk about her.
“I have someone else to think
about.”

His father’s eyes widened. Understanding reflected slowly in his
murky eyes. “Well. hell. I didn’t know you were seeing anyone. Is she from
around here?”

A smile spread across his lips.
“Are you insane?”
he
asked, thankful for the shift to humor. The last time he’d seen a woman within
five miles of the ranch under the age of fifty had been five years ago. And he
didn’t like remembering that episode.

His father laughed. “Heck, you never know.” He looked at him in
seriousness. “Almost had me worried there. So who is this young lady? Someone
who works at Somerset’s ranch?”

He shook his head.
“No. She lives next door.”
 A look of
excitement crossed his father’s face. He knew the man was expecting to hear how
well everything was between him and her. Cole quickly jumped on it.
“There’s
not much to tell anymore. I messed things up with her. Hurt her.”

His father waved a hand and let out a whoosh of air. “You’re not
the first man to make a mistake with the woman he cares about. Always remember
that. Are we going to meet her sometime?”

Good question. He would like nothing more than to introduce
Noelle to them, have her as a member of his family in spite of what little they
had to offer.

“I hope so.”
Cole reached into his pocket and pulled out
his cell phone. He flipped through several pictures until he came across one of
Noelle that he had taken with her astride Firebrand.

Reddish blond eyebrows shot upward. Cole ignored it. There wasn’t
a racist bone in his father’s body, but he understood the man’s surprise that
Noelle was black.

His father whistled low and straightened. “She’s a beautiful
girl. Does her family know about you?”

Hands at his sides, Cole nodded. He didn’t want to rehash the
details of her father’s disapproval.

A thin arm rested on his shoulder for a second. “Just focus on
yourself and your young lady. I’m sure whatever happened between the two of you
can be worked out. This is life, Cole. Gotta grab it by its horns. Don’t allow
what you want to slip away. You’ll end up alone, tired and bitter.”
 

Cole lowered his head. His father made it seem too easy. Nothing
was ever that simple, not when came to convincing a woman who had nothing to
gain by being with him.
“I can’t go back to her unless I have a future to
offer. Something better than what she’s seen so far. I just can’t. I love her
too much.”

The man gazed at him with skepticism yet Cole was thankful he remained
quiet. He didn’t need a lecture, definitely not tonight when he was starting to
realize time was not on his side. He looked up at the moon and the stars
overhead.
Have to keep working.
He hadn’t seen Noelle in a month and
each and every day was spent worrying if she had found someone else to move on
with. If she hadn’t, it would only be a matter of time. The temptation to go to
her was overwhelming, but he had to stay steadfast and stick to his plans for
the ranch. With the ache in his muscles forgotten, Cole rubbed his hands
together against the chill in the night air as he headed toward the barn.

Chapter
Sixteen

Noelle pushed her apartment keys into her handbag. Three weeks of
living in the new place and it felt as much a home as the tack room she’d gone
into a couple of times on Mr. Somerset’s ranch.

It hurt to think of that place, so much that for a week after her
argument with Cole she’d returned to Snake River each day waiting, hoping to
see him appear from behind one of the big maple trees.  In her fantasy, he
would kiss and hold her so damn tight to let her know he wasn’t disgusted. That
he wasn’t ashamed of her.

Hurt and angered, she’d decided to give it one final attempt
before giving up on him. It was Mr. Somerset who had seen her on the way to
ranch housing and stopped her. Puzzled, he’d asked if she had forgotten that Cole
moved back to his home earlier than planned. 

It was three months later and she still felt the jolt of
electricity that ran through her heart when Mr. Somerset related those words.
At no time, had Cole mentioned to her that he wouldn’t be staying on at the
Somerset Ranch. Apparently, she hadn’t been the only one keeping secrets and
Cole hadn’t felt their relationship was important enough to let her know they’d
soon be separated.

Noelle hated to count the days, but today marked yet another day
that drifted by without a message from him. And now, guilt ridden, she couldn’t
believe she was returning home from a date. For an hour she’d sat across from
another man, talking and feigning bouts of feminine laughter to pretend her
heart hadn’t been ripped asunder.

But she had to do it. She needed to prove to herself and to her
mother and sister, who encouraged her to keep her heart open. Noelle sighed as
she turned the key into the doorknob.

One good thing came to fruition out of this debacle of her love
life; she was closer to her mother than she had been in years. The two of them had
even decorated her apartment together. To Noelle’s bittersweet delight, once
Aleah found out about her broken heart she had reached out and for the first
time in years, Noelle had someone beside Cole to confide in. Grateful as she
was, it did nothing to dull the ache of missing him. She would have been
satisfied if he had been her only confidant for the rest of eternity.

Her date was the coworker her sister had months earlier suggested
Noelle to go out with. The attorney was a quiet man in his thirties, African
American, which left her wondering if deep down her family was rooting for
their date to go well because of that minor detail. While the conversation was pleasant
and she found herself grudgingly admiring how well put together the man was,
she knew that date was as far as it would ever get. There was nothing, not even
a fraction of the emotions she felt the first moment she laid eyes on Cole, the
confusion and longing the cowboy elicited in her.

Noelle entered her apartment and was greeted by the shrill ringing
of her telephone. It was her mother checking up on her. Noelle knew the woman was
trying to overcompensate for her father’s refusal to speak with her after
Noelle told him she didn’t appreciate his interference in her private life.

“How was the dinner?”

Noelle clutched the phone to her ear and pulled off her
stilettos. “It was all right, Momma. Nothing special. He talked a bit much, I
suppose.”

Her mother went silent for a minute then spoke, “You mean as
opposed to not saying anything?”

Noelle sank back into the couch and let out a small breath. “It
was never like that. Cole had a lot to say. We understood each other despite
the blocks in front of us. I just thought that after everything we meant to
each other, Cole would have taken the time to listen and understand my side of
things.”

“Noelle, I know you don’t want to hear this, however, it needs to
be said. Perhaps your father did you a favor. I’m very sorry, baby. You know I
want the best for you and your sister —you especially because of everything
you’ve been through, but if you try to look at it from another perspective you
have to realize that you and Cole are just so different. I’ve spoken to Randy
Somerset and from what he’s told me, Cole has his hands filled with
responsibilities at his home.”

Her heart stopped. Her mother had spoke to Cole’s former boss?
“When did you speak to him and why would you do that? Why would you snoop into
my affairs, going around trying to find out information about Cole like we’re a
pair of naughty teenagers?”

“I’ve never met him, Noni. I only wanted to know what type of
person he was for you to feel this strongly about him.”

Noelle gulped. “But what did Mr. Somerset say? I need to know if
Cole is all right.”

“He’s fine.”

Her mother refused say more. Noelle bit her lips to keep from
yelling and demanding to know more details about her beloved. She sighed. He
was fine, her mother had said. There had to be some comfort in that statement, although
it would do nothing to help her sleep better at nights without him.

****

 For the first time in months, things were looking up. Cole felt
a smile tug at the corners of his lips. How he relished being able to
acknowledge those words. The October sale of the two largest bulls had brought
in enough money to take them out of the red. Once they made it through with the
rest of the sales the Tumbling Y would be in the clear until the next fall.

Most important, he had promised himself as soon as the ranch gained
momentum, he would return to Copper Mesa and claim Noelle… after he cradled her
to his chest, begged and pleaded for understanding and let her know in no
uncertain terms how much he loved and adored her.

Cole sighed and pressed his head against the pillow. Tonight was
a first for him in months, hitting the sack before midnight. He relished the
sleep to come, but in the meantime, his mind kept messing with him about
Noelle.

What if he had waited too long and Noelle no longer had space in
her heart for him? The last time he had seen her was in August, she was so
fucking beautiful and sweet. Noelle was bound to have found some else. Some
bastard who could communicate with her, without her having to study each night
to learn new words in sign language.

Damn. Cole felt his chest tighten with worry. Had Noelle been
with anyone since him? His stomach churned and violence surged inside him. He wouldn’t
be able to bear knowing she had allowed another man to lie on top of her and
plunge into her wanton cunt. He could still hear her needy cries, whimpering to
him that her pussy belonged to him alone.

 His cock swelled painfully inside his briefs. Cole couldn’t help
but touch his shaft. God help him, he was a goner for her. Truth was, even if
Noelle had lain with someone else in the time they were separated he’d still
want her. He would fuck her so good, and hard, wiping away the memory of anyone
but him.
He
would become her entire world, the way she was his.

Regret slashed inside him with a vicious stroke. He never should
have kept her in the dark about his feelings.
Never should have turned away
from her.
It ate at him, because Noelle was the only person in this world
who made him feel whole. Around her he didn’t feel as if he was lacking. She
accomplished what not even his parents had been able to do his entire life as
hard as they tried. Noelle, all she had to do was look at him, touch him and
everything felt right. As if they were made for each other.