Authors: Emily March
“You think I’d want to drown you?”
She ignored that question, too. “Okay, professor. What do I do first?”
“We’re going to start in the shallow end and work our way toward deeper water. You ready to get wet?”
She hesitated, cut a suspicious look his way, then blew out a long sigh. “Yes.”
Cam told himself not to stare as she began to unbutton her cover-up and revealed a modestly cut fire-engine-red one-piece swimsuit.
Whatcha got under there, Sugar Cookie?
“All you need to do is to remember to breathe,” he said.
“Pardon me?”
Cam gave his head a shake and covered, “Scuba diving isn’t difficult to learn. The main thing is to remember to breathe.”
She kicked off one flip-flop and then the other. Cam handed her a mask and fins. “These were the smallest I could find. See if you can keep them on.”
The mask worked all right, but she couldn’t keep the fins on her feet. “That’s okay. You don’t need them today. We’ll get you gear that fits before our next lesson. Why don’t you go ahead and get into the pool while I finish suiting up?”
Sarah’s eyes gleamed with excitement, but years of experience helped Cam to identify the nervousness, too. He attempted to reassure her. “You’re going to enjoy this, Sarah. You’ve always had an adventurous soul.”
“Oh, I know I’ll enjoy the scuba part of it. It’s the cold-water part I’m not so certain about.”
She turned and walked away from him as she carried her cover-up to drape it across the back of one of the deck chairs. Cam’s gaze dropped to her ass, and he sucked in air across his teeth. She had some curve back there she didn’t used to have. It looked fine on her. Really fine.
He was beginning to think that giving her a scuba lesson had been a very bad idea.
He wanted her. Not the high school Sarah, whom he had kissed when he first came to town, but the grown-up Sarah with the delicious full curves of womanhood and the hint of laugh lines at the corners of her glorious violet eyes. He wanted to see her naked again, to trail his fingers across her silken skin, to taste her and take her in ways they’d never gotten around to trying.
Cam wanted sex with her, but just as much, he wanted to sleep with her, to spoon against her in a bed atop a thick, comfortable mattress. To stay with her all night long. That was something else they’d never done.
She turned toward the pool, and he drank in the vision of her silhouette. Okay, maybe he wanted sex more than he wanted sleep. They could have sex before sleep.
Yeah
.
You’re losing it, Murphy
. He forced himself to turn his attention to his gear. Moments later, he slipped into the pool. The water temperature was perfect, cool and refreshing. He tried not to gawk at the pointed tips of her water-chilled breasts clearly visible beneath the surface. “All right, let’s get started. Show me the underwater sign that you’re okay.”
She did, and he nodded. “Now show me stop.”
Once he’d run through what he wanted her to know for today, he asked, “Okay, then. Let’s run down the cautions.”
Sarah ticked them off on her fingers, beginning with “Never, ever, ever hold my breath” and ending with “If I do panic, and I’m swimming for the surface, I have to let air out of my lungs as I go up.” She frowned and asked, “Even when I’m just diving in the swimming pool?”
“Even then.” He stood in front of Sarah and removed the weight belt he’d slung over his shoulder. Cinching it up as small as he could make it, he said, “Let’s see if this is small enough so that it won’t fall off.”
She stood in water that was shoulder-high to her. Standing close, he reached around behind her with both arms, clasped the belt, and fitted it against her back. She lifted her arms as he fastened the plastic clasp. The weight belt slipped from her waist, then settled low on her hips.
He had to put his hands on her then, testing to make certain the belt wouldn’t slip off. Maybe they lingered, maybe they copped a caress, but she didn’t call him on it.
As Cam’s stare lingered on her chest, he tried to remember what he was supposed to do next. Finally, Sarah lowered her arms. “I think that’s good.”
“Really good,” he murmured. His lifted his gaze to her mouth. It would be so easy to lean down and kiss her.
Sarah picked that moment to hold up her mask and ask, “So do I spit in this?”
The question broke the spell. “No. I’ve rubbed baby shampoo over the lens. It’s a great defogger, and cheap, too.”
“Tricks of the trade? Cool.” She pulled on the mask, then said, “Now what?”
“We’re going under. You are going to signal to your buddy that you are out of air and want to buddy-breathe. Then, when I’m ready, I’ll hand you the regulator. I won’t let go of it. I’m in control of it at all times.”
“Why?”
“It’s a safety precaution. Now, you’ll put the mouthpiece inside your mouth and exhale to clear it. You’re going to do that every time.”
“Exhale first,” she repeated.
“Yes. You’ll take two or three normal breaths, then you’ll push the regulator out of your mouth. I’ll take it away and breathe for a few breaths, then we’ll do it all over again. The idea is to establish a rhythm. Any questions?”
“Yes. Lori showed me her equipment, and the octopus thingy had a second mouthpiece. Why wouldn’t I use that?”
“Because that’s not today’s lesson. Ready?” When she nodded, he put his mouthpiece into his mouth, then took her hand, lifted his feet, and sank to his knees at the bottom of the pool. Sarah knelt beside him. Behind her mask, Sarah’s eyes glowed with nervous excitement, and Cam was reminded of how they had haunted him through the years. And throughout nature. Violet coral, fields of lavender, dusky sunsets on a becalmed sea—he had gazed upon them and thought of the girl he had left behind.
She gave him the signal, and he offered her the regulator, watching closely as she remembered to exhale before breathing in.
Good girl
.
Her eyes smiled back at him. Cam thought the sight before him rivaled any beauty he’d ever seen on any dive he’d made anywhere in the world.
Sarah proved to be an apt student, and they quickly found the rhythm he wanted. He had participated in this process countless times over the years, but never before had it seemed so intimate. They stared into each other’s eyes, the same way they had when making love, and time hung suspended.
Cam’s blood ran hot. He had to taste her. He had to touch her. He’d waited forever, and he could wait no more.
He made the signal to surface and began to unbuckle his gear before his feet found the bottom of the pool.
He allowed the gear to sink as he tore off his diving mask, toed off his fins, and grasped Sarah around the waist as she surfaced and pushed up her mask. “Did I do something wrong?”
“You let me leave you!”
Then he pulled her against him and kissed her.
And kissed her.
And kissed her.
At some point he realized she’d begun kissing him back. She clasped her arms around his neck and wrapped her legs around his waist. She held on tight as he twirled her around in waist-deep water.
Cam groaned against her lips. She moaned against his. His hands drifted down from her waist to intimately cup her ass and pull her tighter against him. He wanted more. He wanted her naked and beneath him and screaming his name like she had the last time they’d made love.
The time they’d made Lori.
Lori
. Cam wrenched his mouth away from Sarah’s. “What are we doing?”
“It’s been so long I almost forgot,” she murmured against his shoulder.
Cam released his hold on her, and Sarah dropped her arms and let her legs drop away from his hips. “Sarah … I … uh …”
“Don’t you dare apologize.”
He blinked. His pulse raced, his heart pounded. “I wasn’t going to apologize.”
“Oh. Okay. Well, good.” She finger-combed her hair and added, “So what were you going to say?”
He hadn’t a clue. Maybe he
had
been about to apologize. Maybe he’d have told her that having a hard-on while wearing Jammers bordered on physical torture. Maybe, just maybe, he’d been working up the nerve to ask if he could take her to bed. When he opened his mouth, he was shocked to hear himself say, “A part of me never stopped loving you, Sarah.”
Her response shocked him even more. “I tried to stop loving you, Cam, but I never completely succeeded.”
Now he knew what he wanted to say, to ask, to do. Why had he ever been confused about it? Hadn’t he dreamed about it for half of his life? He took a step toward her and gently caught her hand in his. “Would you like to go inside with me?”
She licked her lips. “Define
inside
.”
The warm light in her eyes told him she knew very well what he meant. He tugged her hand, bringing her a step closer. “I want to make love with you again, Sarah.”
She blew out a shaky little breath. “It is entirely possible that taking that road would lead to more heartache.”
He couldn’t deny that. He wouldn’t try. “I’m willing to take that risk.”
“Of course you are. You’re a guy.” She rubbed her thumb across his knuckle. “I gave up risk-taking years ago. Teenage pregnancy pretty much took care of that. I’ve spent my time being a worrier. I worried about what people think of me—my parents, my friends, the whole town, even Lori. I think …”
Her voice trailed off, and Cam waited for a moment before urging, “You think what, sweetheart?”
“I think that it’s silly to worry about the past because I can’t change it, and as far as the future goes, why waste the effort fretting over what-ifs? I’ll deal with it when it gets here.”
She drew in a long breath, then released it slowly. “I think that right now, for this stretch of time that lasts however long it’s going to last, I’ll try not to care what people think. That’s no great sin, is it?”
“No, it’s not,” he responded. “You deserve to put yourself first for a change, Sarah. You should do what you want to do because you want to do it. It’s time that you put your needs before everyone else’s.”
“Even yours?”
“Why do I think I’m arguing against my own self-interests?” Cam smiled crookedly, then nodded. “Yes, even mine.”
She looked down at their clasped hands, and Cam held his breath. When she finally looked up at him again, her eyes were violet pools of emotion. “Take me inside, Cam. Take me to bed.”
Thank God
. Cam didn’t give her a chance to change her mind. He swept her into his arms and carried her toward the house.
The doubts assailed her when he set her down to unlock the door to Eagle’s Way. What was she doing? This was Cam Murphy, the number-one target of her fury and frustration since she was in high school.
He’s the only man you’ve ever truly loved
.
His hand at her waist, he ushered her inside. Sarah’s nerves sizzled. She only vaguely noted the interior of the house that she’d been dying to see, because she couldn’t look away from his mesmerizing green-eyed gaze. He shut the door behind them, cupped the back of her head, and pulled her close.
His mouth brushed across hers, a whisper of a touch. His hand drifted down to her neck, where his fingers gently stroked her sensitive skin. Sarah shivered and melted against him.
This wasn’t the ogre she’d resented for so long. This was Cam. Her Cam.
I’ve missed him so much
.
His gentleness seduced her. His touch so soft, his caress so sweet. He held her as if she were the most delicate of treasures, as if she were something to savor, and Sarah’s heartstrings quivered in response.
“I’ve dreamed of having you in my arms again for so long,” he murmured.
I’ve waited for you since the day you left
. The truth of that thought hit her like a brick. Startled, she retreated by saying, “We’re dripping on Jack’s floor.”
That reminded her of something else, and she jerked her head up in alarm. “This is Jack Davenport’s floor. His entry hall floor!”
Cam’s lips twitched. “He wouldn’t care about a little water.”
“I’m not worried about water. I don’t want twins!”
“Excuse me?”
“This is where Gabe got Nic pregnant with the girls.” Sarah backed away from him and held up her hand, palm out. “I mean it, Murphy. We’ve been down this road before. I don’t know about you, but I learned my lesson. Unless you’re packing protection under that skintight suit you’re wearing, this conversation is over.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh.” She folded her arms. Her pulse raced.
He frowned. “I wasn’t planning on …”
“Yeah, well, neither was I.”
“Okay, well, this might not be a problem at all. Jack probably keeps his cabinets stocked with all the necessities. Wait here, I’ll go look.”
“Hold on, Murphy.” She held up both of her hands, palms out. “This has totally spoiled the mood, don’t you think?”
“That’s okay. We can get it back.” He sounded a little desperate. “Why don’t you look around the place while I do a recon mission?”
Sarah glanced around the spectacular living space, then slowly shook her head. This wasn’t what she wanted. Where was the romance? The passion? Just because she intended to be a responsible grown-up when it came to sex with Cam this time around didn’t mean she should settle for less. She
wanted
romance. She
wanted
to be swept off her feet. “No.”
“No?” he repeated, a hint of a whine in his voice.
“No.” Her chin came up. She squared her shoulders. “I am worth more than a borrowed rubber in a millionaire’s guest bedroom. I deserve better than that.”
Cam drew back and studied her. She couldn’t read him well enough to know what he was thinking, and his intense regard made her just the slightest bit nervous and on edge.
Then he nodded and said, “You’re right. I apologize, Sarah.”
Okay. Well, good
. He’d listened to her.
“You deserve to be wooed. You deserve flowers and candy and candlelight over a five-star meal. You deserve sweet words and sunsets and little surprises that make you smile.”
“Thank you,” she replied, telling herself it wasn’t disappointment making her heart sink.