Loving You (Love Wanted in Texas) (4 page)

He pinched his eyebrows and shook his head. “Son, I haven’t said a damn thing about Ava in at least ten minutes. Don’t tell me you’ve been sitting there nodding your head and mindlessly answering me.”

“Um . . .”

He shook his head and walked over to the fence we had just finished repairing. “Do you see this fence?”

Okay, where is he going with this?

“Yes. I see the fence.”

“I might as well have been talking to it for the last hour. What in the world is weighing on your mind, son? You haven’t been yourself ever since you got back from Europe, and I swear if I didn’t know any better I’d say your favorite horse died this morning with the way you’re sulking.”

Jumping off the tailgate, I smiled. “I’m not sulking and nothing is wrong. I’m just tired I guess. Went out last night with a few friends.”

He lifted his brow and gave me that look when he doesn’t believe that line I’m feeding him. “Tired? Well you better snap the hell out of it.”

I gathered up the tools and put them in the bed of the truck before facing him and asking, “How did you know Mom was the one?”

He stopped and looked at me. It never failed, any time he talked about or thought of my mother his eyes lit up. With a chuckle, he shook his head as if lost in a memory.

“The first time I met your mother I wasn’t sure if I wanted to kiss her or strangle her.”

“That’s funny, Mom says the same thing about you.”

A roar of laughter escaped from his lips. “Yeah well, there was an attraction there from the very beginning. One I’d never felt before, so that was probably my first clue. Then my desire to protect her from everything and everyone was most likely the second clue.”

“You never felt that with any other girl besides Mom?”

He shrugged and replied, “I’m sure to some point, but with your mother everything was different. She consumed my every thought. One day it hit me how much I cared for her, but I was stupid.”

“What do you mean?”

“I pushed her away because I didn’t think I was good enough for her.”

My heart dropped as I listened to my father.

“She walked away from me and it felt like I couldn’t breathe. I knew in that moment, I wouldn’t ever be able to live without her. Life just wouldn’t be the same if she wasn’t by my side, so I went after her and told her how I felt.”

I reached for the fence pulls and sighed. “What if you feel all of that, but if you follow your heart, you risk making her unhappy?”

“How would you make her unhappy if you follow your heart and it leads you to love?”

“I don’t know, say she isn’t a country girl. She wants a life in the city, working and doing the whole corporate world thing. I mean, Mom already lived here.”

He leaned against the truck and studied me. “Talk to me, Jase.”

I dropped my head. “Shit,” I mumbled under my breath. “I messed up, Dad.”

“You messed up how?”

“Taylor. The first time I saw her it felt like the air around me changed. She smiled and I was lost in her eyes. I hadn’t ever seen a girl so beautiful before. Everything about her was perfect, especially the little dimple that only comes out when you really make her laugh. Every time I saw it I had to fight the urge to kiss her.”

Glancing over to my father, he smiled and motioned with his head for me to keep talking.

“I tried like hell to stay away from her.” With a chuckle, I looked at him and asked, “Do you remember when I went to Durango that summer?”

He nodded.

“She was there. I couldn’t believe it when she walked up to me and told me about some stupid bet she was in with her sister and friends. It was almost like a sign or something. Anyway, I ran into her one day back at school and ended up going back to her apartment. Things started to get a bit . . . heavy . . . but she stopped it and dropped the news on me that she was a virgin.”

“Oh God,” my father whispered. “Please tell me you didn’t?”

My father and I had always had such a close relationship. Finally being able to allow myself to talk to him about what was going on was somewhat of a relief. I knew he would listen and not judge me.

“As much as I wanted to, nothing happened. She wanted to stop, so we did. I respected her too much. But then she started talking about her plans after school and how she wanted to be some financial analyst for her grandfather and it hit me. Our lives would never go down the same path.”

With a huff, he shook his head. “Why?”

“Dad, for one, she’s way too good for me. Beautiful, smart as hell, and wants a life in the city. I’m a rancher. My life consists of mending fences, raising cows, and coming home smelling like fucking hell.”

He lifted a brow. “Do you wish you had gone a different route?”

I sighed heavily. “No. I mean at one point I wasn’t sure, but I know this is the life for me. This is the life I want and I would never ask her to give up her dreams to be with me.”

“So instead you told her how you felt?”

“Um . . . not exactly. I ignored her mostly.”

His hands slapped against his face as he made some horrible sounds and dragged them down before dropping them to his sides. “You ignored the girl?”

“Mostly. When I couldn’t take it, I’d send her a text or talk to her just to hear her voice. Dad, I’m no good for her. I fucking woke up with a girl in my bed one night after seeing Taylor at a party. I got so drunk I screwed around with two different women. Who does that kind of shit if they care about someone else? The guilt about tore me in two. I had to tell her about it just to get it off my chest.”

His mouth fell open. “You . . . you didn’t. You told her that?”

I slowly nodded my head. “Well, I kind of left out the fact I had slept with two girls on the same night and mentioned just the one.” He pushed off from the truck and walked up to me and slapped the living shit out of the back of my head. “What kind of idiot did I raise? First off, don’t ever mention the other girl to her. She doesn’t need to know what one stupid drunk night led you to do.” Shaking his head, he asked, “Why in the world would you tell a girl about sleeping with another girl?”

“I-I don’t know! She confuses me!”

He shook his head. “She confuses you? Tell me you didn’t do anything else to hurt this poor girl.”

I swallowed hard. “I um . . . I tried to stay away from her, Dad. I honestly did, but every time I would look at her, she would be looking at me. I thought we could make it work.”

His face fell. “What. Did. You. Do?”

I dropped my hands to my knees as I tried to bring air into my lungs. “It was in Paris. I couldn’t take it any longer. I needed to tell her how much I wanted her and loved her.”

“Loved her?”

“She skipped lunch and I went to her hotel room.”

“Oh mother of God, I’m not liking where this is going. Did you say you loved her?”

I dragged in a deep breath. “Yes, Dad. I said I love her.”

He swallowed hard and motioned for me to keep talking. “I told her I didn’t think I was good enough for her and she said it was nonsense. She asked me to make love to her and . . . and . . . I did. I made her mine.”

Standing up, I turned to him. “I told her I loved her and she told me she loved me and always would. That freaked the hell out of me. Afterwards, I ran into Cammie who told me Taylor would never be happy with me and I freaked out.”

“Who is Cammie and define you freaked out?”

“Cammie is the girl I slept with that I told Taylor about.”

He nodded his head. “The freaking out? What did you do?”

“I told Taylor things between us wouldn’t work and she got upset.”

He let out a curt laugh and walked away from me as he said, “I would imagine she would be upset seeing as you just had sex with her. Tell me, was she still a virgin, and please for the love of all that is good in this world say no.”

I frowned and shook my head. “I did what I thought was best. If I kept acting like everything was okay, we would have grown apart and you know I’m right. She would have been in Austin and me here. How would that have worked, Dad? I mean, when I talk to her I can still feel—”

He opened the door to the truck, grabbed something and then slammed it shut before walking over to me.

“When you talk to her? You still talk to this girl?”

“Of course I do. I love and care about her.”

His mouth fell open. “Listen to what you just said. You have toyed with this girl’s heart, Jase. You took her virginity, told her you loved her and then five minutes later told her things wouldn’t work out, yet you still talk to her?”

“I love her, Dad! I can’t help the way I feel.”

My father scrubbed his hands down his face and moaned. “That poor girl. If I was her father I’d hunt you down and shoot you in the balls.”

I moved my hand and adjusted myself. The very thought of being shot in the balls made my stomach turn.

“I said I messed up!”

He shook his head and pointed his finger at me. I’d never seen my dad so mad before. “No, Jase, you didn’t mess up. You fucked up. You royally fucked up.”

I closed my eyes and silently cursed myself. “I know and I feel like I can’t function right. My sleeping is off, I never feel like eating, and yesterday she said she had a date.”

“Good. I’m glad she had a date. You can’t take something like that from someone and then change your mind. You deserve whatever punishment she gives you.”

My mouth snapped shut as I stared at him.

“She is moving on. Jase, if you have no intention of making a future with this girl, you have to let her go.”

I’d never in my life felt the urge to cry. Except for when my mother accidentally dumped my fish into the garbage disposal. I actually cried then. Poor, Shark. He didn’t stand a chance.

“I can’t let her go.” Turning away before the threat of tears turned into a water show, I shook my head. “I can’t let her go, Dad.”

His hand gripped my shoulder as he squeezed it. “Jase, you either love this girl enough to let her go, or you go after her and drop down on your knees and beg her to forgive the stupid ass way you handled things. If it’s meant to be, love will figure out a way.”

With a slight push, he mumbled something about the apple not falling far. “Come on, let’s get this stuff put in the truck and get back to the house. Your mother will have dinner ready soon.”

The entire ride back to the house I stared out the window. My heart told me what I should do, if only my head had the same plan.

Taylor

“How was the date?”

Gazing down at my beautiful niece, Charlotte, I smiled and said, “It was okay.”

“Okay? That’s it?”

With a shrug, I made baby sounds while Charlotte stared off into space. “Yep. That’s it.”

“Huh.”

Glancing over my shoulder, I stared at my sister. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

With a shrug of her shoulders and a smirk, she replied, “Nothing. It’s just you haven’t really been the same since your little encounter with Jase in Paris.”

The mention of his name had my body reacting. “I don’t want to talk about him.”

“Huh.”

“Ugh. Stop saying that, Meg!”

“I’m not saying anything.”

I placed Charlotte in her bassinet and sighed as I fell back onto the couch. “You’re implying something.”

“I’m doing no such thing.”

Peeking over to Grace, I couldn’t help but notice her holding back a smile as she held her son, Trey, in her lap. “What are you smiling about?” I snapped.

“Damn girl, settle your tits. I’m not smiling about anything.”

Turning to look at Meagan, Grace frowned as Meagan said, “Told you.”

Standing, I shook my head. “So, I hardly ever get to come to town and hang out with y’all and this is how it’s going to be?”

“Sorry, Tay, it’s not fair of us. We’ll stop,” Meagan said as Grace laughed.

“The hell we will. I’m guessing by your bitch mood you’re in, the date didn’t go like you planned and you most likely thought about Jase the entire night.”

“I did not.”

Grace lifted her eyes and gave me a
really
look.

“As much as I love hanging out here, I think I’m going to go visit Lauren.
She
won’t mention Jase.”

Grace made a huff sound as my sister laughed.

Twenty minutes later I was knocking on my best friend Lauren’s door.

“Oh my glitter! Tay, what are you doing here?”

I couldn’t help but smile as I took in Lauren. Something was different about her. Her face seemed to be glowing.

“Just wanted to come visit everyone. I was missing home.”

Pulling me in, Lauren engulfed me in a hug and started crying.

“It’s . . . so . . . good . . . to . . . see . . . you!”

I patted her back as I replied, “It’s good seeing you too, sweetie.” Pulling back, I looked at her cautiously. “Lauren, is everything okay?”

With a wave of her hand, she nodded. “Yep. I’m just so happy to see you.”

I had known Lauren my whole life and I knew something was not right. She was never this emotional. “Did you and Colt have a fight?”

Her head pulled back in surprise. “What? God no! Everything with Colt is amazing. It’s beyond amazing.”

Breaking down into tears again, I wrapped my arms around her and led her over to the couch. “Please tell me what’s wrong, Lauren.”