"I haven't slept a full night in eleven years, Jake. And I do feel badly that I left TJ with more than he should have had to handle on his own. I kept thinking it's just a few more months, and then I'll be better able to help financially and also with time, but I know that wasn't fair to my brother. That's why I'm here now. I'm trying to help him."
"Would you be here today if you hadn't finished your last shift? Or would you have told TJ to solve his own problems when he called you?"
It wasn't a question she wanted to answer. She told herself she would have done the exact same thing, but there was a part of her that wasn't sure that was true. "I don't know," she said honestly. "I'd like to think I would still be here."
Their gazes met again, and the angry fire in Jake's eyes seemed to dim with her heartfelt answer.
"I get tunnel vision," she added. "I see the goal line, and all I can focus on is getting across it. I know it's a bad trait. I need to work on that."
"You miss a lot of things along the way, Katherine."
"I tell myself it's worth it."
"Has it been worth it? You're a doctor now."
"I haven't had time to absorb that fact."
"Are you staying in Houston?"
"I don't know. I have offers in several cities."
"Including Corpus Christi?"
She nodded. "Yes. It's not the best opportunity, but it's there if I want it."
"It doesn't sound like you want it."
"If I was thinking just about my career, I wouldn't want it, but I do love my mother, and I'm very aware that her condition has deteriorated far more quickly than I imagined it would. So, Corpus Christi has gone to the top of the list."
"I'm sorry about your mom. She doesn't deserve what she's going through. I always liked her a lot. She was incredibly nice to me when we were going out, and when my dad died, I remember talking to her more than I talked to my own mom."
"She's always been a great listener. Sometimes, I wonder if she had more to say than she ever got a chance to say. She always put herself behind my father, behind my brother and me. She was our supporter, but I'm not sure we were always hers."
"That's probably the way it is with parents. You take them for granted. You think of them just as Mom and Dad and not as people in their own right. When you said my dad had a whole life before I was born, you were right. I didn't know him as a young man. I didn't know him when he was flying for the Navy. There could have been lots of things in his life that he didn't talk to me about. And I'm sure the same is true for your mom."
"We both ran out of time to ask."
"Maybe you're not completely out of time. Your mom has some lucid moments."
"She does. And I really try to make those count." She finished her wine and set her glass down on the table. "So is the elephant gone?"
"He's outside in the rain," Jake said with a dry smile.
"Finally. He was taking up way too much room." She reached for her backpack and pulled out the guidebook on Mexico. "Maybe I'll read while we still have some natural light."
"Good idea. I want to take another look at the map. Perhaps between the two of us, we can figure out where we are."
"Okay."
"Katherine," he began.
She saw indecision in his eyes and wondered what else they still had to say to each other. "What?"
"Never mind. It doesn't matter."
He went into the cockpit and shut the door, leaving her wondering just what he'd wanted to say. Maybe it was better she didn't know. They'd spoken enough truth for one day.
She flipped through the guidebook. She'd always been good at researching, and learning more about the country gave her some small feeling of control. She doubted that feeling would last. She was smart enough to know that their situation was not very good. If they were truly lost in the middle of a rainforest, who knew how long it would take for anyone to find them.
A wave of fear ran through her, not just for herself but also for TJ, because he was still in danger, and she was even farther away from helping him than she'd been the day before.
But she'd accomplished one thing, she realized. There was no way Jake could drop her off at the airport and leave her on her own. For better or worse, they were stuck together, and hopefully they'd make it all the way to his great-grandmother's village together, too.
Seven
Jake flipped every switch on the instrument panel, hoping to find some juice somewhere, but not only had the panel been blown during the lightning strike, everything was now soaking wet. It was clear they were not going to be able to communicate with anyone from the plane. They would have to find their way to a cell phone signal or the nearest town. He didn't have a good feeling about where they'd landed or how far away help might be. Their short trek through the forest had made him believe they had landed in one of several heavily forested and mountainous areas in central Mexico. There might not be a town for miles.
In addition to dealing with a possibly remote and hard-to-reach location, he had no idea what kind of people they would find on their way. Parts of Mexico were very dangerous, run by drug cartels and people who would not like the fact that they were trespassing, however inadvertently. Or they might see two American tourists as an opportunity for ransom.
With that thought, he unlocked a box by his feet and pulled out a handgun. It had become company policy to keep a loaded weapon in the cockpit in case of terrorist activity. He hoped he wouldn't have to use it, but he would keep it close just in case.
Setting the gun aside, he spread the map on the console and circled several possible areas where they might be based on how long they'd been in the air before the storm hit and their flight plan. Unfortunately, his memory wasn't as clear as it should have been. He'd been deep in thought during the flight, memories and feelings about Katherine blurring everything else in his head. He'd never gotten so distracted in the cockpit. He should have let her sit in the cabin. They might not be in this mess if he hadn’t insisted she sit next to him.
But he couldn't rewrite history.
His gaze turned back to the map. If he was right about where they were, then there might be a city about eight miles away. They could walk eight miles. Katherine was a strong, determined woman. She'd make it. When she wanted something, she didn’t quit.
Too bad she hadn't wanted him the way he'd wanted her, because she'd definitely
quit
him.
Frowning, he thought about their recent conversation. While there hadn't been a lot of new information exchanged, today was the first time he'd realized how scared she'd been during their last few months together. He'd known she was annoyed with him for partying too much and keeping her out late, but he'd thought she was just being uptight, because she was always a little uptight. He was used to dragging her out of her shell and showing her a good time. He didn't know why she'd been resisting him so hard.
But maybe he'd been more intense than he'd thought. Had he really been
that
crazy,
that
out of control after his dad died? Had her worries been justified?
Or had she been floundering in school and turning her fear of failing her pre-med classes into fear about their relationship? Had she created a scenario where she could live with saving herself and leaving him in the dust?
He let out a sigh. Did it really matter?
As much as he didn't like the way she'd broken up with him, he couldn't deny that he hadn't been the best version of himself the year after his dad died. While it had felt good to blame her for everything, he had a lot to account for himself.
He'd definitely grown up in the past ten years. He wasn't that drowning, angry guy anymore, and he certainly wasn't looking for her to rescue him. He could take care of himself and he could take care of her, too. While he'd been reluctant to take her into Mexico, now he had no choice. Until he could get her to a safe place, they were going to stick together. He would never abandon her, no matter how much pain she'd caused him in the past.
Which made him a much better person than her
.
He smiled to himself. He could spin things as well as she could.
The truth was they'd both made mistakes, but they'd also both grown up. The focus from here on out was to get to safety first and then on to Nic Té Há to rescue TJ.
It felt good to have a plan, like he was in control. It was a tenuous thread of hope, but he was going to cling to it as long as he could. But as he looked around the cockpit, he couldn't help thinking about what was going on back home.
Had Rusty gotten the news already? Radar would have shown their plane going off course, but those last few minutes he'd been unable to communicate. Anyone searching for them would have a wide area to cover.
It was just like his dad's disappearance
.
His stomach twisted painfully. He could imagine the pain and horror his mother and sisters would go through when they heard his plane had gone missing.
Dani was going to DC tonight; she might already be on her way. Alicia was returning to Florida tomorrow, which meant she'd probably be with their mom when the news came in.
Just like his dad's disappearance
.
Alicia had been the only one in the house with their mother that night, too.
One of his mom's friends had called him at school to tell him to come home. He vividly remembered driving through the dark night to get to the brightly lit house, which had filled with family and friends since the first terrible call.
The hours that followed had been horribly tense, emotions soaring high with tiny seeds of hope, only to be crushed by disappointment and despair. The days had turned into weeks. The house had emptied out, leaving only a few to carry on the vigil. And then the search had ended.
He felt sick at the memories. He didn't want his mother and sisters to go through all that again. He had to find a way to get to a phone and let them know he was all right. He wanted to go right this second, but night was falling fast, and it would be stupid to leave the only shelter they had until morning. Hopefully, it wouldn't take more than a few hours to get to help tomorrow.
And maybe Rusty wouldn't rush over to his mom's house until the morning. Rusty had also gone through the search for Jake's father. He'd remember how hard it was to tell the family. Perhaps he'd wait until he had more definitive news.
It was a slim hope, but he hung on to it.
He got up and went back into the cabin.
Katherine gave him a wary look, as if unsure of his mood. He didn't blame her. He wasn't any more comfortable with her despite their recent clearing of the air. There was still an emotional and physical tension between them—anger and hurt but also attraction and desire.
He didn't know how he could want a woman who'd hurt him so badly and who hated his guts, but somehow he did.
He was lucky that she didn't want him…or did she?
Was that why her gaze was filled with so much confusion? Was she, too, feeling the conflicting emotions?
It wouldn't be surprising. There had always been a push-pull between them. Katherine had fought hard against her reckless desire for him. When they were seventeen, it had been easy to push past her barriers, but he had a feeling the past ten years had reinforced her barriers with steel.
Which was a good thing, he told himself. He didn't need to make this situation even more difficult or complicated.
He sat down in the seat across from her and tipped his head toward her guidebook. "So, what did you learn about Mexico?"
"It's a big country. Most of the larger cities are on the coast. The interior is vast and rugged, and I have a feeling that's exactly where we've landed."
"I would agree. But I think if we head south, we should run into a town about eight miles from here."
"Eight miles doesn't sound that bad. We can make that."
"I'm sure we can." He paused. "In the meantime, I have an idea on how we can pass the time until morning…"
The wary look returned to her eyes. "You usually have really bad ideas."
"Not this time." He smiled, then reached into a side panel and pulled out a deck of cards. "Gin rummy or crazy eights? I believe I still hold the title of champion in both games."
Her lips curved somewhat reluctantly at his boastful words. "I'm pretty sure I beat you at rummy the last time we played."
"Hmm, as I recall, the last time we played, you distracted me by unbuttoning your shirt and then making out with me." Heat coursed through him as that memory ran through his head. He could still see her beautiful breasts spilling out of her lacy bra under her buttoned-down blouse. He hadn't been able to think about the cards in his hands, only about how quickly he could get his hands on her breasts.
She must have read his mind, because she pulled the edges of her jacket more closely together. "That won't happen tonight," she said pointedly. "I'm only playing cards, nothing else."
"Too bad. We could have made this a lot more interesting."
"You and I don't need to get any more interesting," she said.
"Fine, cards only. What does the winner get?"
"I don't know…satisfaction at winning?"
He shook his head. "That's not enough of a prize."
"You're so competitive, Jake. Why does there always have to be a trophy?"
"Because it's more fun if there's something at stake. But you know that, because you are even more competitive than I am. I bet you were top of your class in medical school, weren't you?"
"I might have been," she said.
"Number one or top five?"
"The only position that counts is the first one," she retorted.
He laughed. "I knew it."
"Fine. What do you want if you win this game?" She immediately held up her hand. "And whatever you want cannot involve me getting naked."
"Really? That was always a good prize before. And I seem to recall that I got naked as much as you did."
"So now you're remembering that I did beat you quite often," she said.