Affliction (Finding Solace)

Affliction

Barbara
Speak

Copyright
© 2014

By
Barbara Speak

Cover
by The Final Wrap

This
book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are a
product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance
to actual events, locales or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.

Wait a minute, Wait a minute, wait just a minute! I’m
sorry for my manners, I forgot to say please. But seriously, how was I painted
the bad guy? I know I may be ranting a little here but I feel I was perceived
as a total asshole. Have none of you ever been scared before, because I was scared
shitless. I made one mistake that made me question everything. How many of us
get a second chance? Well I did. I got to re-live my youth. I got to do all the
things that I missed out on the first time around. What I didn't expect, was to
find what I thought was my forever girl, at the beginning of my next chance.
None of you have ever met the right person at the wrong time? Well that is
exactly what happened to me and I regret so much more now, than I ever did
before Sadie walked into my life. I don't mean to come off as a dick I swear, I
would just love for you to stick around and listen. I'm not going to go into
everything that happened, only the parts worth mentioning. Besides, you have
already read how she saw things. Remember, I’m a guy, so we don’t do details
like you chicks do. So here we go regardless, my name is Colt and this is my
side of the story.

Chapter 1

When I saw Sadie for the first time, my heart about
dropped out of my chest. She was just so beautiful to look at. My eyes were
glued to her from the second she came into view. We had all been hanging out at
the bowling alley when I noticed her for the first time. She was naturally
beautiful. The way she smiled and was having fun without a care in the world
caused me to ask my friend Mike who she was. I didn’t expect it when he called
her over to us. In fact I punched him and called him a dick. Her head popped up
when she heard her name, God she was so striking to look at. The way her hips
swayed back and forth as she so confidently approached us, I had to force back
the laugh that wanted to escape me when she tumbled over her own two feet and
fell toward the ground. The look on her face, as she attempted to stand up and
play it off as if it didn’t happen, only made me want to get to know her that
much more. At that time, the only thing I knew was that I wanted her, badly.
But as the night progressed, I was sure I was going to want more than just one
night, if I was lucky. All of my employees and friends began to file out,
leaving only the three of us. Mike eventually got bored and left, knocking the
number down to just her and me. We talked and laughed, danced and drank some
more. Her smile was insanely contagious. When it was closing time, I offered to
call a cab for her which was a first for me. Normally I would have been doing
anything and saying everything just to get in her pants, but there was just
something about her that was different. I wanted it to be her call. You can
only imagine my happiness when she refused my offer and grabbed on to me with
fuck me eyes begging. A man can only hold back for so long.

"Take me home with you" came out in almost a
pant. I couldn't have said no if I tried, but to be honest, I didn't try at
all. She was sexy as hell and I wanted more of her.

I threw the offer out there one last time to give her an
out but when she insisted she wanted to come home with me, I practically looked
up and thanked God himself. Something was different about her. It almost made
me sad. She carried herself like she ran the world but I could see through it
somehow. I didn't want to be the kind of guy that would use her, which again
was a first for me.

The cab showed up but I went ahead and told the driver
that it was no longer needed. That was of course after she threw a fit about
leaving her car in the parking lot. I forced her to hand over her keys and then
had her show me which car was hers. I probably shouldn’t have been driving but
the puppy dog eyes she gave me had me falling over my own feet to do whatever
would make her smile again. The drive back to my house was hard as all hell
with her attempting to straddle me as she kissed up my neck. I was hard as a
rock under her. As she moved in slow circles, I swear I almost lost my shit in
my pants. Thank God we pulled up into my place that second or I know that I
would have.

I parked and then helped her out of the car. To say she
was drunk would be understatement. There was a long narrow set of stairs up to
my place and she couldn't make it up the first step. I had her go in front of
me so I could try to help her, but eventually I gave up. She was just so damn
cute, giggling every time she would fall. I scooped her up into my arms and
carried her to the top. I reluctantly had to set her down because I needed to
get to my keys. Something felt right about her being in my arms but what did I
know, I was just as drunk.

Once the door was open, she turned into a mad women.
Sadie stripped every stich of clothing off of herself and jumped on me. I
caught her in midair and carried her back to my bed, while she rocked her body
into mine and kissed me like she couldn't get enough and was desperate for
more. I came back at her with vengeance. She was perfect from head to toe. Her
body was everything I dreamed a girl could look like. I licked and sucked
everywhere my mouth could go and as I did, her moans only excited me more. I
needed to feel her wrapped around me. There was nothing I wanted more in that
moment out of life.

I pulled away from her causing her to let out a small whimper.

"Sadie, I need to get a condom. I will be right back
okay?"

She nodded her head and then rested back on my pillow. I
walked out of the room and into the bathroom where I had left the new box I
bought yesterday. I stripped out of my clothes and took a piss while I
fantasizing about all the things I was going to do to her. I was so ready to
feel every deep inch of her. I grabbed the foil packet and walked back into my
room, more excited than I had been in a long ass time. What I found fucked
everything up. She was asleep. She had passed out in the short amount of time I
was gone.

I contemplated waking her but then I looked down at the
sleeping beauty in my bed and I couldn't. She just looked so peaceful. So, like
a chump, I climbed in bed, grabbed her and pulled her to me. Holding her in my
arms felt right. Weird? You're telling me. I just met this chick. So that’s how
the night was going to end. I was lying in my own bed, with a naked girl, who
surpassed all of my perverse fantasies and was snuggling like a pathetic sissy.
Whatever, you would have too if you were me. Eventually I fell asleep, but
believe me the hard on never went away.

I woke up before her and just couldn't stop staring. I
felt like a creepy piece of shit doing it but she was just to pretty to look
away from. Slowly she started to stir so I looked away as fast as I could. When
she rolled over and her hand brushed over me, a smile spread across my face.
She opened one eye and shock registered all over her body.

I said, "Good morning beautiful."

Her face immediately planted itself back into the pillow
she was using. When she started asking me how I got in her bed, I couldn't hold
back my laugh any longer. This was better than anything I had ever seen in q
long ass time, but what I thought was funny, sent her into a total freak out.
She looked at me, trying to muster up all the confidence in the world and
started rambling on about me being Mike and Jason's brother. I couldn't let her
keep going so I cut her off, telling her who I really was. My bad, for thinking
she would also find some humor in the situation. She didn’t, in fact she did
the total opposite and bolted. I am not being dramatic here at all guys. She
flew out of my bed and ran as fast as she could, putting her clothes on at the
same time. I laid there for a second wondering if she would calm down and come
back. When she didn't, I noticed she had left her phone. I got out of bed and
tried to catch her before she left, but that’s when the door flew open and she
was gone. I was still naked, so there was absolutely no way I was going outside
after her. She might have run out but I now held in my hand the very thing that
was going to bring her back to me.

Chapter 2

So I'm not going to go into all the details of what
happened over the next few hours or even the next few weeks. You all know that
she didn't remember anything from that night. There was no way I could tell her
the truth, that I had become a total sap after only knowing her a few hours.

We spent a lot of time together and with each minute I
was with her, I grew more attracted to who she was. Not what she looked like or
felt like, and believe me when I tell you, everything she said our sex was,
isn't even close enough to the truth. She was fucking amazing!!!

All right, I promise not to make this all about the sex.
I know that is what you would expect from me but I’m here to surprise you, a
lot. It was never about sex for me. It was about how we connected during and
after that made us who we were in my mind and heart. I sound like a total pussy
but why the hell do you think I was always so conflicted. You don’t really
believe me do you? That’s why I’m here to try and get you to see my side. Men
don’t focus only on sex contrary to popular belief. That is, if we are getting
it enough and it’s good. Now back to the story you want from me. Well, more so
the story I want you to understand.

So, I have explained how everything had been going good.
Now would be the time that you would like to understand how it all started to
change, so I will explain it the best I can. We had been having a lot of fun
together. One night I decided I wanted to take Sadie out to dinner so I
surprised her at her work. When I walked in, all of the girls working turned to
look at me, as if I was her boyfriend and they all knew about me. She walked up
looking sexy as hell saying, “Hey good looking, what brings you here? Let me
guess, you finally realized you need me.” Truth is I was starting to. Dinner
all of the sudden didn’t sound like a good idea at all. Something about what
she said bothered me. Panic started to set in and I didn’t know how to handle
it, so I used the first thing that came to mind. “No actually, I wanted to tell
you I’m leaving to go see Maddie this weekend.” It was a dumb thing to say
being she knew my visitation schedule. I could tell by the confusion on her
face when she said, “Okay, I will miss you but have fun.” My lack of response
led her to keep going. “Did you need me to drop you off at the airport?” I had
no idea what was happening to me but I needed to get out of there. “No, that’s
okay” was all that I could say before I gave her one last kiss and walked for
the door. Unsure still, I didn’t know what I wanted to do, so I thought I could
spend more time with her to figure it out. I turned around one last time and
asked, “Will I see you tonight?” She shot me the most gorgeous smile and
responded, ”Damn, it must be your lucky day!” and then blew me a kiss. I didn’t
really put two and two together until after I walked out the door. She was what
I thought about as soon as I woke up and reason for my smile throughout the
day. I liked her, a lot. I could see wanting to be with her more and more, and
that scared me to death. What started out as us just having fun was turning
into a relationship. Something I was positive I didn’t want. So what did I do?
I freaked the fuck out. She was turning out to be everything I knew I wanted,
just not yet. So I never showed up or even bothered to let her know I wasn’t
coming by. Instead I went up to my bar and grabbed on to the first girl that would
make me forget about Sadie Warren. Stupid, you bet your ass it was. How do you
let something like that go? I didn't just let it go, I ran as fast as I could
in the opposite direction.

Coming out of my marriage with Jamie was rough. I had
nothing. I gave her the house, so I had nowhere to live. I stayed with my
parents for one single night before I was about to punch my dad and left. My
parents were about as fucked up as two people can be. My dad is a controlling
asshole, that tried to live vicariously through me, but nothing I ever did was
good enough. I surpassed every accomplishment he made and yet everything still
could have been done better in his eyes. My mother is old fashioned and does
any and every thing he expects of her. The fact that my marriage failed had to
be the icing on the cake for him and I couldn’t take anymore.  A couple of my
friends said I could stay at their places, so I was forced to couch jump around
for a couple more weeks until school started. Those nights I didn't sleep much,
but I did map out my life. I was so determined to do things differently. I
spent all of high school and both my freshman and sophomore years of college as
a boyfriend. I watched all of my friend’s date, experience all the things that
I never wanted to do at the time, but after wished I could have. Once you meet
the right girl, you’re supposed to spend the rest of your life with her. Well
that was the plan, making those few years you get to be independent,
irreplaceable in the scheme of a whole life of commitment. That is if you don't
meet her in the beginning and then screw it all up. Because now I would gladly
give up all of the time that I wasted, if I could just go back and change my
stupid ass way of thinking. I am not trying to convince you, I'm really trying
to explain. So let’s just move on.