Lucky Break (18 page)

…

The car ride home ended up being even quieter than the ride to his mom’s. Kade could tell something bothered Sidney, but every time he tried to ask her, she told him it was nothing. He knew it was more than that.

Especially since he knew he’d interrupted something between her and his mom. Neither of them were any good at hiding things from him. But it was hard to keep pushing, to keep wanting something that seemed so far out of reach. For once, he wanted her to reach for him. And knowing his mom, she’d probably mentioned something about their relationship. Made Sidney feel guilty in some way.

“Are you excited to head back to LA? It’s getting close,” he said, trying to make light of the fact. Lucky’s opened in two days, which mean she left in three. “Maybe you’ll let me drive you to the airport this time?”

“Oh…yeah! Sure. Thanks, Kade.” She faced the window again.

“I’m glad you’ll be here for the opening of Lucky’s. That means a lot to me, Peaches.”

She turned and smiled at him. “It means a lot to me, too.” But just as quickly, she turned back to the window.

He wondered if he just screwed up with the airport comment, but it helped him, too. Helped to cut the strings he never should have attached to them.

When they got home, Sidney excused herself to her sewing room, so he headed out to do some work in the yard. He needed a little breather. Some time alone with his thoughts.

He knew all along this would happen, that she’d leave. But that didn’t change how he felt about it. They still had a few days left. He knew he should make the best of them, but he wasn’t sure how to do that.

Ask her to stay…
he wanted to, but he just didn’t know if he should. If it was the right thing to do, or if he could handle the rejection a second time.

Didn’t she feel how right they were together? How incredible these past few weeks had been? He did. And he wanted them to last.

Before, they’d been stupid kids. He whispered words to her in the heat of the moment, without putting thought to it. Things could be different now. Would it be selfish to try and keep her here?

Be selfish, Mitchell. You love her. You deserve a little happiness.

But he couldn’t put himself out there. Not again.

Kade tossed the shovel to the side.

He went straight for her sewing room, stopping at the open door when he heard her on the phone.

“Okay…okay…wow. I don’t know what to say. Yes, yes, I know this is an incredible opportunity. I’m just a little shocked, to be honest.” She turned and saw him standing in the doorway. The look in her eyes told him something huge was going on. Told him that maybe their time together was ending sooner than he thought.

“I wasn’t planning on leaving yet…” Her eyes didn’t leave him as she spoke. “Okay…I’ll try, but I’m not sure I can. I have—yes, I see. That’s understandable. I’ll call you tomorrow. Thanks, Lydia. ’Bye.”

She let the phone drop the same way his stomach did.

“A director saw one of my audition tapes…he called my agent because he thinks I’m perfect for a small movie he’s doing. They want me to go meet with them. I’ll have to audition, but this is the first time someone has seen my tape and then requested me for a job.”

Kade took a deep breath. It shouldn’t be this hard.
Ask her to stay, Mitchell!

“That’s…good, right? This is what you’ve always wanted.” How could he ask her to walk away from her dreams? This woman who knew everything about him. She’d known his dad beat up his mom and instead of calling him a coward for letting it happen, she’d been his safe place. When no one else did, she’d known about the thing he hated himself for, and she’d cared about him regardless. He wouldn’t be what stood between her and what she needed.

“It’s what I always wanted… It’s the lucky break I would have given anything for a month ago.”

Even though only a few feet separated them, it felt like miles. He wanted to touch her. To make love to her. To ensure this time things ended differently for them. He wanted her to be happy and to have everything she’d always desired.

“You should go,” he heard himself saying instead. “We both knew this was only temporary anyway.”

Sidney gasped, before her eyes found the ground.

Tell me you don’t want to go, Peaches. You’re mine. You belong to me.

She looked up, took a breath, and said, “I’ll have to leave in the morning. That means I’ll…”

“You’ll miss the opening of Lucky’s.” Jesus, he hated that. He wanted her here. It meant the world to him—one of the most important people in his life there on one of the most important days. “You can’t postpone it a couple days?”

“Not if I want a chance at this part.”

But he couldn’t force her to be here. He wanted her with him because that was where she wanted to be. “This is what you’ve always dreamed of, right?”

He held her with his stare, willing her not to look away. Wishing like hell she’d say no.

She choked out her reply. “Right.”

“There’s our answer.” He hated it, but he had to admit, he really shouldn’t have expected anything else.

Chapter Twelve

He’d told her to go. She didn’t know why those words hurt. He was right: she’d wanted this kind of break for a long time. So why did it feel so wrong? She’d regret it the rest of her life if she didn’t go for this.

You should go. We both knew this was only temporary anyway.

She wasn’t sure anything between them could ever be temporary, but to him, it seemed to be. He’d obviously found some way to guard his heart against her. He learned his lesson.

Besides, it would be better this way; she just had to keep reminding herself of that. She had a huge opportunity waiting for her at home.

Sidney shivered when Kade walked toward her. His eyes were dark with desire, and a little mixture of something else. Sadness?

“I want you, Peaches. Let me make love to you, one last time.” His husky voice vibrated through her.

No!
she wanted to tell him.
Not for the last time!
But she couldn’t make the words come out of her mouth. They had no business in her head at all. Her life wasn’t here so things had to end. Now.

“Yes…please, Kade. I need you.”

He had a gentle touch, when his hands cupped her cheeks. He slid a finger from her temple to her jaw, as if trying to memorize the planes of her face.

His thumb brushed over her bottom lip and she let her tongue sneak out to taste his salty skin.

“You’re so incredibly beautiful.” More touches. More of his fingers studying her like a blind man’s brushing across braille. She yearned to do the same thing to him, but didn’t have it in herself to even move right now.

When his lips came down on hers, the kiss was slow and tender. A gentle exploration of mouths. He took his time tasting her with slow sweeps of his tongue. When he pulled back, she gave, taking her time to savor him as well.

One of Kade’s hands slid down her body, cupping her thigh and pulling her leg up to hook it on his hip. He pushed her dress aside, hot skin on hot skin, his calluses driving her wild like they always did.

He picked her up. Their lips were still molded together as he carried her to her room. He set her to her feet and kissed her lips, her cheeks, her eyes, his mouth now doing what his fingers had a few minutes ago.

Kade held her tightly against his body. “It’ll be different this time,” he said against her ear. It almost sounded like he was trying to talk himself into it as much as her. Then he stroked her as their bodies came together. She wanted this moment to last forever. “We’re both on the same page now. We both know what’s happening. But I’ll come to California myself if you don’t stay in touch this time. You’ll visit. If not, Rowan will be even harder on you than I will…”

She sighed and buried herself closer to him, wishing she could crawl inside his skin. “I’ll come visit…”

“I know.” He kissed her forehead. “And I understand. You know I always have your back.”

She did know that. Sidney’s grip on him tightened, afraid to ever let go.

“Mae!” Sidney rushed into her aunt’s arms. They went around her more tightly than she realized her aunt could squeeze. “You came.”

“Of course I did, sweet girl. I will always be here for you. Now tell me what’s wrong.”

She’d called her aunt when she couldn’t sleep last night. Kade had made some excuse to go back to his little house next door and she’d known that was exactly what it was—an excuse. He wanted to put some space between them. Not that she blamed him.

Mae led her over to the couch and they sat down. “I leave in a few hours,” she said.

“Plenty of time to talk. That’s not going to get you out of telling me what’s going on, so you might as well spill now.”

Sidney almost laughed at Mae’s quirkiness, but couldn’t even make herself do that. So instead, she did exactly what Mae told her and spilled it all.

About graduation and the reason she’d run. About how things had been with her and Kade since she got back. How much she thought she loved him, but how scared she was. She talked about her mom and how she made Sidney feel. Aunt Mae’s eyes were glassy, but she listened the way only Mae could. When she was finished, Aunt Mae said, “What does your heart say?”

“I don’t know.” Sidney leaned back on the couch. Her words weren’t completely true, but it was easier to pretend they were.

“Now that’s a load of crap if I ever heard one.”

“Mae!”

Her aunt sighed. “It’s true. Don’t be a chicken, Sidney. They’re your feelings; you need to own up to them. You might not listen, but at least own them.” Aunt Mae was the smartest woman she knew. Sometimes she hated that, but it didn’t make it any less true.

She kept thinking about the girl she didn’t want to be. The one her mom left behind. And she thought of how much she enjoyed acting. But she enjoyed things here, too.

The thoughts battled with the answer she knew in her heart.

“I don’t belong here.”

“You belong wherever you want to be.”

“Los Angeles has always been my dream.” How could she let herself give up when she was one step closer to earning what she’d always wanted? “And we’ll be closer this time. I’ll visit and we’ll keep in touch. That makes things okay, right? Besides,” she said quietly, “he told me to go.”

Mae shook her head, seeming older than Sidney ever remembered her looking. Her gray hair was tied back in a bun. Wrinkles crinkled around her eyes. “If you’re waiting for me to tell you what to do—that you’re doing the right thing—I won’t say it. I’ll support you in whatever you do, but this is your decision. You have to follow your heart. You’re the one who has to live with it.”

Sidney’s chest actually felt like it broke open when she said, “I have to go… I have to know I can do it.”

Kade sat in the truck while Sidney waited for Rowan to answer the door. She’d told him he didn’t have to drive her to the airport—Aunt Mae could do it, after all. But he’d insisted.

Secretly, she was grateful for these last moments with him.

And she couldn’t leave without telling Rowan good-bye. Not this time. She still had something to settle with her friend—something she’d put off for much too long.

Rowan gave her a small smile when she went inside her house. She was holding the bag Sidney made for her.

“Can we talk for a second?” Sidney asked.

“Sure.” Rowan led her inside and they sat on the couch. They’d briefly spoken about this when she first came home, but she wanted to make sure her friend knew the extent of her sorrow.

Sidney grabbed her hand. “I’ve been the worst friend in the world.”

Rowan looked at her seriously. “Sometimes. But I still love you.”

Her words touched Sidney’s heart. How could she have ever treated these people the way she did? They were everything to her, and she needed them in her life. “I’m so sorry that I left without saying good-bye. So sorry I didn’t get in contact for so long and that even once I did, it wasn’t often enough. I hate the way I treated you and Kade. It was wrong, and I can promise you I will never take either of you for granted again.”

Kade’s words from last night played again in her head. He was right—it would be different this time. She’d make sure of it.

“I’m holding you to that.” Rowan smiled at her.

Sidney shook her head. “I’m serious, Freckles. It was wrong…but I was scared. Scared if I talked to you guys, I wouldn’t go. And I needed to go.” She
still
needed to go…right?

Rowan didn’t answer, but she pulled Sidney into a hug.

“Are you sure we’re okay?” Sidney asked, her voice muffled by Rowan’s shoulder. “I love you, Row. I really do. All of this? It’s because of me. Not you guys.”

“I know. I’ve always known that.” Rowan’s eyes turned sober. “Are you sure you can leave him?”

No. She wasn’t sure at all. “It’s what I’ve always wanted,” she said, all the while thinking,
He didn’t ask me to stay. Why doesn’t he want me to stay?

“If you’re sure…” Rowan said.

She was anything but.

…

Kade put a lid on the anger simmering inside him. No, anger wasn’t the right word. He felt
betrayed
. Sure, he’d known all along she was leaving. They’d talked about it, and she hadn’t hidden her intentions. Yet still it felt like she was leaving
him
. Like she was walking away from him, not
to
something else.

And damn it…it killed him she wouldn’t be here for the opening. Lucky’s was so important to him, and there was no one he wanted to share it with more than her. Plus, she’d put so much work into it, sweating right along with him, that he wished she could see her accomplishment with the excitement of the whole town there.

“You have everything?” he asked her as they stood inside the airport.

“Yeah…and I have something for you.” She blushed and he wondered why she could possibly be shy to share anything with him.

“Hey.” He hooked his hand under her chin and tilted her face up. “None of that. Not with me.”

She gave him a smile this time and it nearly took his breath away. Everything about her did.

Sidney handed him a bag. “It’s not much. I know it’s kind of silly, but…”

He opened the bag and pulled out a long ribbon and bow. It was a dark blue, the linen slightly rough—almost like corduroy. Weaved through the edges was a thin, peach-colored ribbon.

“It’s for the opening. For you to cut it. There are curtains in there too. I measured the windows so they should all fit.” She was rambling. She never rambled.

“Shut up, Peaches.” Kade’s mouth came down on hers roughly. He swore he wouldn’t do this again, but he had to taste her one last time. He kissed her with all the passion, hunger and love he felt for her. Tried to use his lips to speak to her without talking. He wanted her to see how much he appreciated this gift. That it was perfect. She’d put a lot of work into it, he could tell, and that managed to ease some of the anger simmering inside him.

She sucked in a breath when he pulled away.

“It’s perfect,” he told her.

She glanced at her cell. “I need to go.”

His gut clenched. He pulled her to him and hugged her again, wishing like hell he didn’t have to let her go.

“I’m going to miss you, Kade. So much.”

“You’ll see me soon.” He consoled her, but it was with an edge to his voice. Sadness overshadowed his resentment. “But I’ll miss you, too.”

When she pulled away, he let her. Kade stood in the busy airport and watched Sidney, the woman he’d loved all his life, walk right out of it.