Lucky Break (6 page)

“What are you doin’ here, Sidney? I told you I’d be back.”

It took her a few seconds to answer. Instead she sat there, picking at her blue nail polish. “We’re friends again, right? I want to make sure you’re okay.”

Sitting there, he realized he was. He no longer had a death-grip on the wheel. No longer flashed back to that day—all those days in the past when he’d felt helpless. “I’m good.”

“Me, too,” she replied, and then her cheeks flushed as though she recognized that she had no reason to say that.

“Conceited.” Kade winked at her.

“I am not.” She sucked her bottom lip into her mouth. She always bit her lip when she didn’t want to show how upset she was—or when she was faking it.

“You might be some fancy actress now, but you can’t fool me. I know when you’re playing me.”

That seemed to make her mad. She took an unenthusiastic swing at him. “Don’t you call me a liar.”

“Then don’t be one,
Sidney.”

The playfulness drained from her face, and he tried to figure out what he did wrong.

When she spoke, he didn’t expect what she said. “You almost never used to call me Sidney. It was always Peaches…”

Kade turned, trying to figure out how to say what he felt. She wouldn’t like it, but he couldn’t be anything except honest with her. “Things are different now.”

They were okay and he was glad for that, but he also didn’t plan to let himself get pulled in for any more than friendship. It was too easy with Sidney. Just like the way he’d played around with her inside, or how she knew to come to his truck a few minutes ago. This was the woman who chased away his demons just by talking to him. It would be easy for her to become his Peaches again and to get himself right back in the mess he had before. He was too old now, had too much going here to let himself get too tied up in her again.

They were both silent. Everything inside him tugged to give in, but he couldn’t.

Finally, after what felt like ten years, she spoke. “Well…I’m just not willing to take that for an answer.”

“Ah, hell.” He let his head fall back against the seat. Leave it to Sidney to push him now that he didn’t want to be pushed.. “I see you’re even more stubborn than you used to be.”

“Me?” she said, feigning innocence. “You’re the stubborn one here.”

That he could fully admit. It didn’t change things, though. “I think it’s pretty safe to say we’re both stubborn.”

“True. It’s just—I’m glad things are okay between us, but I miss how things were. I miss
us,
Kade.”

Her tongue snuck out of her mouth and licked at her bottom lip, and he looked up to notice her eyes weren’t as bright as they used to be. She was sad, and it made his gut twist. He wasn’t supposed to make her feel this way. Not Sidney.

Kade’s hand itched to touch her. To hold her. To find a way to make things the way they used to be. “You’re killing me here.”

“I don’t want to.”

Another one of those things that didn’t change anything. “I know.” For years he’d wanted to see Sidney again—to have her this close. As time went on, he thought about it less and less, but having her sit right across from him, it slammed into him again.

And then she touched his hand. He couldn’t stop himself from cupping her cheek, needing to feel her skin beneath his.

She breathed heavily, so deeply he felt it against his arm.

Kade needed more. Stupid or not, he felt himself leaning forward and damn if she didn’t do the same. He couldn’t have stopped himself if he wanted to—which at the moment he didn’t. He’d deal with the rest later.

What he wanted to do to her definitely wasn’t the friendship they’d agreed on, but at the moment, nothing else mattered. It was a pull that he always felt to her. One he’d been too chicken to act on as a kid, until the time when everything changed between them.

She looked down. At first he thought she was turning away from him, but she just nuzzled her cheek against his hand.

That did him in. “Sidney.” His voice came out rough, laced with need, and when she looked up at him again with hooded eyes, nothing was holding him back.

The warmth from her cheek and the softness of her went right through him and friendship or not, he needed to taste her.

Kade pulled her toward him, eager to take her mouth. She was only a breath away when they paused. He breathed her air and she his, and damned if it wasn’t erotic. “Kade,” she whispered, and it made him want her more. He moved in to close the last of the space between them, when a loud bang on the window made her jerk backward.

“Jesus,” he gritted out as Shakes gave him a huge smile through the window. He was going to kill the man.

“Kade. If you’re not busy, we could use you in there, buddy!”

No, he wasn’t busy—thanks to Shakes.

Flustered, Sidney pulled at the door handle. The door didn’t open.

“I have to release it from my side. It’s on child locks.”

She turned, cocking her head at him. Her cheeks were a delicious pink. From desire, he could tell, but something else lurked behind it, too. Questions about what had just happened, he was sure.

That made two of them. He wondered if she searched for the same answers as he did.

“Why—” she started before dropping her head against the seat. “Never mind. We better get inside.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
Unfortunately.

Chapter Four

Why did guys find it necessary to work with their shirts off? Not that Sidney was actually complaining—she definitely enjoyed the view—but she knew she
shouldn’t
be enjoying it at all. She also knew that she and Kade shouldn’t have almost kissed. But what was a girl supposed to do when almost kissed by a very sexy man? Instinct pretty much demanded her lips head straight for his, too.

Sidney found herself wondering what he would feel like. How he would taste. If he would kiss her just as sweetly as he had after graduation or if it would be more urgent and needy now. All things she should
not
be thinking. Especially not when their friendship happened to be so fragile. Sexual tension always made things sticky…fun, but sticky.

“Sidney! You just mixed the colors!” Rowan grabbed onto her arm. “No wonder Kade didn’t want you to paint.”

She looked up to see she had painted a white spot on the otherwise brown wall.
Oops.
She looked at Betsy and Rowan, who were both eying her. Sidney liked Betsy from the moment Rowan had introduced them earlier. She was a little shy, but more so around men. Still very nice, though.

“Are you daydreaming about you know who?” Rowan’s eyebrows went up and down.

Unable to keep her mouth shut, Sidney hissed, “He almost kissed me! He’s hated me until yesterday and then he almost kisses me?”

“He almost kissed you?” Rowan threw back at her.

“Who almost kissed you? Jace?” Betsy piped in next.

“What? Why would Jace kiss me?”

Betsy look embarrassed, but said, “Because Jace kisses anyone?”

Sidney looked at Rowan and Rowan stared back at her before both girls started to laugh.

“You haven’t been in town long and you already know Jace very well,” Rowan teased.

Betsy flushed, but again shocked Sidney by making another sarcastic remark. “I work with him, remember? I send flowers to a lot of those women for him.” And then as though she lost her nerve, her eyes found the ground again.

“Enough about Jace.” Rowan’s voice bounced with excitement. “Let’s get back to Sidney and Kade’s almost-kiss. I mean, I get why he’d want to kiss you, but…”

No. She didn’t want to go there with Rowan. Granted, she was the one who’d brought it up, but now wasn’t the time. She’d drive herself crazy trying to figure out the inner-workings of Kade and their near-kiss experience.

“Forget about me. I want to know why Betsy automatically thought we meant Jace!” She hoped her change of subject would work, but the other woman didn’t meet her eyes. Oh no. Betsy had it for Jace. That wasn’t good. Even as a teenager he’d gotten around, leaving broken hearts all over Shamrock Falls High School, and now that he’d gone and gotten a law degree she had a feeling he would be much worse. He was too polished…too handsome with his blond hair and cocky smile. He’d eat Betsy for lunch.

“Freckles! Come help me for a second!” Kade’s deep voice came from the bar area, startling her. She glanced behind her and saw him peek his head into the room. Not once did he look at her.

Rowan pushed to her feet but glanced down at Sidney. Even Betsy looked at her as though she got what was going on. Before it had always been her he called on. Maybe even a couple of hours ago, it would have been. When Freckles joined him, Kade disappeared around the corner again.

The near-kiss had been a mistake. One she’d craved much more than she should’ve because she definitely hadn’t been feeling
friendly
with him, but it hadn’t been smart. It was making Kade pull away. Yes, asking Rowan to help was something simple, but she knew him, and pulling away was exactly what he was doing.

Sidney’s hands moved to her lips. She didn’t know how far back the almost-kiss put them, but she really didn’t want things to be more awkward than they already had been, especially since she and Kade had just started to get back to normal. God, she hoped they didn’t have to start over again.

But she couldn’t quiet that part of herself that wished Shakes had never banged on that window, either. The thought made her want to get out of there as fast as she could.

Instead, she turned to the wall, determined to paint the hell out of it.

Sidney walked up and down the aisles of the grocery store. She had a cart full of food and probably wouldn’t eat half of it. She’d needed something to do and this was all she could think of. Rowan was busy and Betsy’d said she had to go visit her mom.

Lucky’s didn’t have much more to work on that day—basically just some upgrading and cleaning because the building had sat for so long. Mae had told her Lucky passed away not long after Sidney left, and she couldn’t imagine Shamrock Falls without him and his bowling alley. She hadn’t been old enough to go into the bar that was attached, but everyone had always spent time there.

Funny…the second Aunt Mae had told her of Lucky passing, she’d thought of Kade.

They’d exchanged a few words after what happened in his truck, so it wasn’t as though he was angry at her like he had been before, but there was definitely a distance there now.

Which was smart of him. She needed to keep that distance, too. Kissing him would lead to entanglements she didn’t want or need, but it gave her a dull pain in her chest at the same time.

It sucked. She knew he still didn’t understand her leaving and that even though he forgave her, it still weighed on him.

How could she make him understand that even though Rowan, Mae, and Kade were the most important people in her world, she couldn’t have let herself stay with them? She would have always felt like she failed if she had stayed here. She knew Kade hadn’t really wanted to go with her and she honestly knew she couldn’t have let him, either. Sidney was torn between pleading with him to understand and letting it go altogether.

And then there were the child-secure doors. Was there a little Kade out there somewhere? Did he have a son or daughter with someone? She pictured him moving in to kiss someone else the way he’d moved in to kiss her. The thought actually made her sick.
No it doesn’t
, she told herself. Those thoughts had no business in her head.

Sidney’s body ached from the work they’d done today, yet here she was looking for solace in the dairy section. She even took the hour drive into Seattle instead of shopping in Shamrock Falls. She’d gotten that habit from Mae.

A few minutes later she’d purchased everything and climbed back in Mae’s truck to head home. The drive took an extra twenty minutes because of traffic, so by the time she got home, even though it was only nine p.m., it felt more like eleven.

Her heart sank when she noticed Kade’s truck wasn’t in the driveway.
No, no, no. Don’t keep thinking that way.
She needed to stop letting Kade take up so much space in her brain.

Once she got everything into the house, she couldn’t bring herself to stay inside. She hoped fresh air would clear her thoughts.

After slipping on a white cami and a pair of black yoga pants, she found herself sitting in the swing on the front porch. It wasn’t because of curiosity over Kade, she told herself. It wasn’t.

Yeah, right.

The longer she sat outside swinging, the heavier her eyes got. She’d always been like that. Her friends used to tease her that she could fall asleep anywhere. There had been one time, when she was camping with Rowan’s family, that she and Rowan went to lay out on a dock by their camping spot. The rest of the family had all gone fishing, but she hadn’t been interested and Rowan had stayed with her.

“Can you believe Kade is going out with Marlisa tonight? She’s such a bitch!” Sidney said to Rowan.

“You don’t like anyone Kade dates. I wonder why that is…”

Sidney didn’t have to look at Rowan to know she had a huge smile on her face. “Shut up.”

“I’m just sayin’.” They were quiet for a few seconds before Rowan added, “She’s totally a bitch though. And she has big ears.”

“No, her nose!”

“I think her eyes are also too far apart.”

They both laughed. She loved her girl talks with Rowan. Being with Kade was great, but there was nothing like her best girlfriend. “Thanks, Freckles.” She didn’t know what she thanked her for.

“Any time, girl.”

Sidney let her eyes drift closed.

“Is she sleeping?” She heard in the back of her mind.

“Of course she’s sleeping. This is Sidney we’re talking about.”

It was like she knew there were voices, but she couldn’t wake up. Couldn’t tell if it was a dream or not.

“Sidney, wake up.” Who she thought was Dream-Rowan poked her.

“Peaches. Get your butt up before you regret it.”

Yep. Had to be a dream. Kade was with Marlisa.

“I’m warning you, Peaches. I came all the way out here to see you guys.”

Sidney ignored Dream-Kade. She felt herself getting lifted and then… “Ahh!” She screamed as the ice-cold water shocked her system.

“I’m thinking your name needs to be Sleeping Beauty instead of Peaches!” Kade splashed her, laughing, while Rowan stood on the dock, giggling at both of them. Sidney wanted to be mad, too, but she couldn’t. Not with Kade here.

“I thought you had a date tonight?” Sidney swam away and Kade chased her.

“I do. We’re not going out until later, so I decided to come up and torture you guys for a little while first.”

That meant he wouldn’t have time to do much of anything else today. He might even have to rush for his date, but still, he’d come to hang out with them. He could do much better than Marlisa, but she couldn’t let that bother her right now.

When the three of them were together, that made everything perfect.

Sidney let her eyes fall closed, reveling in the memory. She’d sit here for a few more minutes, and then go inside.

…

Kade drove home from the bonfire down at the lake. They were a tradition in Shamrock Falls during the summer, when at least half the town got together and just hung out. Shakes was there being wild and crazy as ever, making faces and pulling all the women onto the dance floor. He loved attention and he knew how to get it. Despite his age, he still spent the whole night dancing, even when no one else was doing the same. He even fell a few times but just got up and kept going. The old guy was a riot, though he did like to interrupt Kade at really bad moments. Kade still wasn’t happy about that.

He noticed Shakes wasn’t getting around as well as he used to. Kade heard there was a group of women who took turns cooking him dinner and helping him around his house.

It was incredible how close a town could be. That was one of the things he’d missed when he’d left. Tonight he’d just sat back and watched the town—Shakes entertaining, kids running around the way he, Peaches, and Freckles used to. He’d always thought that would be their lives—the three of them. Peaches, the girl who made him feel good when no one else could, and Rowan, his old fishing buddy. He hated that he got his love of fishing from his bastard of a father. His dad always said it was the best way to clear your head. It’s the only thing his father ever told him that Kade had taken to heart.

He felt guilty for it—for listening to anything the man had said when he’d been so hateful toward his mom. Or any woman for that matter. He’d thought of women as second-class citizens, a philosophy that made Kade sick.

His dad had hated the fact that Kade’s favorite fishing buddy was a woman.

“Kade? What are you doing down here?”

Kade didn’t turn around to look at Rowan. “Fishing. What does it look like?”

“My brothers went too, but they wouldn’t let me go with them. No girls allowed or something.” She sounded sad.

Kade shrugged. “You can fish with me, Freckles. It’s better than going with—” He cut off. As much as Rowan meant to him, he couldn’t talk about his dad with her.

“Who?” Rowan threw her line in. “Sidney? Don’t tell me you tried to get her out here. You know the worms gross her out.”

Kade laughed thinking about how Sidney freaked out whenever he tried to bait a hook in front of her. “No…I don’t go fishing with her. She’s boycotted the activity.”

“Well I’m always up for going… You ever want to fish, I’m your girl.”

After that, it was their thing. Any time one of them wanted to go, they went together. Kade smiled at the memory, but then the smile turned into a frown. Damn, he was getting soft.

Just like with Sidney today. He’d wanted to ignore Shakes and take her somewhere they could be alone. That easily, he started to slip right into the way it used to be—except now he was a man. This time, it wouldn’t take him years to get the balls to make his move. Christ, he’d never wanted anyone as badly as he did her.

Definitely soft. He wouldn’t let himself fall for her again. Distance was the key. They could be friends and still keep space between them.

As Kade pulled into the driveway, he spotted Sidney curled up on the porch swing the second his headlights swung in her direction. What the hell was she doing sleeping outside? Yeah, they only lived in Shamrock Falls, and nothing bad really ever happened here—other than when his old man was in town—but still. That didn’t mean it was impossible.

He shook his head. She slept like the dead, too. A serial killer could sneak up on her and she’d never know. She’d never been as careful as she should be.

He jumped from the truck without even bothering to close the door quietly. She wouldn’t stir.