Lucky Break (4 page)

She started to breathe harder, and he could see her pulse jumping in the base of her throat. She had that same little vein on the side of her head that always pushed to the surface when she got mad. The white skin of her cheeks flushed with red.

Sidney was home.

He knew it was the most ridiculous thing to think right now, but it was the first thought to pop into his head. His Sidney was home.

And her eyes were glassy as they held his. He hated to see her upset.

“Ah, hell. Don’t cry, Sidney.”

That made her cry harder. He’d never understand women. Her shoulders shook and with each sob, some of the anger he felt began to wash away.

He didn’t let himself think about what he was doing next, just pulled her to him. His arms went around her, wanting to make it better. Wanting to hold her—the old Sidney who he’d held while she cried so many times before. Obviously surprised, she gasped, and then her hands tightened in his T-shirt and he thought she would push him away, but she pulled him closer.

Her body went slack against his, the way a man wanted a woman to melt in his arms. Like she trusted him with everything. Like he had the power to fix anything. And she moaned.
Christ.

She smelled like peaches. Another thing that hadn’t changed—she still used peach shampoo. She might wear fancy sunglasses and take cabs to Aunt Mae’s, but part of her was still the same, too.

“Why are you crying?” This had to be about more than their fight. From what she’d said, it seemed like she was going through a hard time.

This only made the tears flow more. His shirt was wet as she sobbed against him. Kade just held her, not worrying about anything else.

When she mumbled something against his chest, a laugh escaped him. Five minutes ago, he never would have thought he’d be laughing. “You’re going to have to say that again.” Kade pulled her far enough away so she could look up at him. His brain told him to back away, but he ignored it.

“I said I’m sorry. About graduation. And not calling. I—” Her breath hitched when he wiped her tear with the pad of his thumb.

“Maybe I shouldn’t say this right now,” he replied quietly, “but you should be. I don’t understand it, how you could just walk away from me like that. Even if you didn’t want me to go with you, I deserved a good-bye.”

Kade put some added distance between them. He hated to admit it, but a part of him wanted to just forgive her now. Yet after all they’d been through, he needed answers.

“I
know.”
She buried her face in her hands and then looked at him again. “Don’t you think I know that?”

“How am I supposed to? You could have gotten ahold of me at any time, yet you chose not to. You’re going to have to give me something more than
I know
. We had too much history for that.”

It took her a few seconds before she replied. Sidney leaned against the truck and crossed her arms. When her eyes met his, she didn’t flinch away. “I have never regretted anything in my life like I regret how I left things. I needed to go, Kade—I can’t be sorry about that—but I should have told you. My emotions were all over the place. Mom not coming. My fear over—well, everything. I was weak and scared and I knew if I talked to you, I wouldn’t go. Or if I did, I’d let you come with me when we both know it wasn’t what you wanted—”

“Don’t.” Kade shook his head. “Don’t use me as an excuse. I wouldn’t have done anything I didn’t want to do.”

Sidney sighed. “None of that matters. Just know that not a day has gone by when I haven’t wanted to take that decision back. Even when things are going well in LA, I will always wish it happened in a different way.”

Now her words were doing what her crying had earlier—taking away the anger. He never could stay mad at her.

“I was young and stupid,” she finished.

They’d both been young and it was time he got over it.

“Get over here.” He tilted his head and this time, she stepped into his arms.

“I just want my friend back.”

As she held him, he realized he wanted that, too. “I’m right here, Sidney. You have me.” They’d been friends before and they would be friends again. No matter what happened between them, he’d missed his Sidney.

Chapter Three

Her body tingled the whole ride home. Ridiculous and a totally teenage thing to feel, but her whole body had come alive just from a hug.
A hug.
From Kade. He’d held her and their whole past just slammed into her. Before, she’d wanted nothing to do with talking about their history, but when he held her, she didn’t want to let go. She wanted that time back when he would just hug her. She’d needed to make things right.

And now they had. But she’d felt something else, too. It wasn’t like hugging the boy she knew. She doubted any woman could hug Kade Mitchell and not feel some kind of desire.

Unfortunately, she didn’t have anyone to talk to about it, either. Aunt Mae still wasn’t answering her phone, though she’d changed her greeting so Sidney knew she was okay. The only other person she had to confide in happened to be Rowan, and—holy shit. What if she felt needy and sexually frustrated from not just a hug, but one with
Rowan’s boyfriend
? No. It couldn’t be. Plus, it was just a hug and her stupid fault for getting all…whatever she was.

Sidney ripped open the freezer, pushing aside meat and frozen boxes. Where had Aunt Mae hidden the rocky road? There had to be some in the house. They always had rocky road. It was their thing.

You haven’t been home in five years. Maybe she didn’t see a reason to keep your tradition.

Sidney slammed the fridge shut, knowing the first thing she would do tomorrow was buy some damn ice cream.

Why was she letting this affect her so much? It was a hug. A very intense hug, but still. She had a career to worry about! Plus a boyfriend who bailed on her, and shouldn’t that hurt more? She felt more pissed at Steve than hurt, and honestly, she didn’t miss him. But
still
,
he’d dumped her for a made-for-TV movie in New York because he didn’t even think her worthy of sticking out a few months’ separation.

What she should be focusing on—besides her acting—was that she and Kade were friends again. Steve, blowing the audition, and getting her car stolen were all worth it, since they’d given her Kade back. And his hugs.

Ugh! Why was she thinking of that again?

Determined to find something to take her mind off the way Kade’s heat and corded muscles felt tucked against her body, she started to scour the house.

She knew this place upside down and backward. Up until she turned eighteen, she’d spent her whole life in this house, but she needed something to do and she couldn’t think of anything else.

The house had three bedrooms. Mae kept Sidney’s exactly how it had been when she left, complete with old band posters and everything. It had felt too weird to stay in there last night, so she’d slept on the couch.

Today, it still felt weird.

She peeked in Mae’s room. She wasn’t desperate enough to go snooping in her aunt’s stuff, but a little calmness washed over her when she looked inside. The room couldn’t be more perfect for her aunt. A pillow sat on the bed, embroidered with Bob Dylan’s name. Mae loved flowers and gardening and there were both fake and real flowers, which were starting to wilt, in vases all over the room.

A huge picture of Sidney sat on the bedside table. She was standing by the lake with her back to the camera. Wind blew her hair out so it looked like it flew around her head…and there was Kade. Off to the side, behind her, standing by a tree. Watching her.

Something flip-flopped in her belly.

“Honey, I know there are better things you want to do on your fourteenth birthday than hang out with your aunt, but I’m fun. We can go toilet paper a house tonight!”

Sidney couldn’t stop from giggling at Aunt Mae, even though she didn’t feel like laughing at all. No call from her mom. The only time she’d talked to Sidney in the past few months was when Aunt Mae told her Sidney got the lead in the school play. That she called for, but not a birthday.

Rowan was away with her family for the weekend and Kade’s dad had insisted they go fishing. Not that she could be mad at Kade for going. She knew he’d rather be with his friends, but he’d do anything to spend time with his dad—so he’d stay away from Kade’s mom.

That was Kade. Always the hero. Always willing to let his own feelings come last if he could help someone he cared about.

Thinking of him made her smile. She was the luckiest girl in the whole world to have him for a friend. Kade, with his dark eyes and contagious smile. He teased her and stood up for her, while Rowan was the one she could stay up at night with, putting on makeup and giggling about boys.

“Hello? You daydreaming over there, kiddo?”

Sidney jumped when Aunt Mae snapped her fingers in front of her face.

“What do you say? You, me, and a six-pack of Charmin?”

This time a real laugh fell from Sidney’s mouth. “I’m not sure getting arrested is my idea of fun.” She kept looking out at the water. It was beautiful here.

“Fine. Ruin all the fun.” Aunt Mae grabbed her hand and squeezed. “Don’t look so sad, kiddo. You’re loved. Your mama loves you, she’s just not good at showing it. I love you. Rowan…Kade.” Aunt Mae nudged her.

Sidney rolled her eyes. “He’s just a friend and you know it. Kade doesn’t
love
me, love me.” Aunt Mae was always teasing her about her relationship with Kade. Telling her they’d be together one day. And Sidney was always telling her it wouldn’t happen. They didn’t see each other that way; they were just friends. Always would be…though her heart did beat a little faster when Mae said that.

“Sure he is. I’m heading over to the basket to eat some lunch. Join me soon. You’re not allowed to be sad on your birthday.”

With that Aunt Mae walked away.

And she
was
sad.

She wanted her mom to call.

She wanted to paint her nails with Rowan.

She wanted to laugh with Kade.

Sidney kept staring at the water until her skin started to feel warm. Goose bumps spotted her arms. She felt like she was being watched.

Sidney turned to look behind her…and there was Kade.

He’d come. For her, he’d come.

Sidney’s phone rang. She fumbled, pulling it out of her pocket, almost feeling nervous. Geez. It was just a memory. There was nothing wrong with that. “Hello.”

“Hey, Sidney, it’s Lydia. Is my favorite client rested and ready to come home?” Her voice was all sugar, but Sidney knew a shark hid behind it. Not in a bad way, just in a tough, I-always-get-my-way sense.

“I’ve only been gone a couple days!” It felt like longer, though.

“I know. I’m partially kidding. Note the
partially
there. Not to be pushy or anything.”

Sidney laughed. “No, Lyd. You don’t sound pushy at all.”

She heard Lydia take a drag of a cigarette. “I know. I don’t really mean to give you a hard time but, I have to tell you, timing matters. We’ve got some good prospects coming up.”

This perked Sidney’s attention. “Prospects?” She liked the sound of that. Unable to keep still, she paced up and down the hallway.

“Yeah, I’ve heard of some possible roles coming up. Had a couple conversations with a director friend of mine.” Another drag. “Nothing’s in stone. I’ll e-mail when I know more. In the meantime, I’m keeping an eye on casting calls.”

A flutter of excitement shot through Sidney.

“You’re in this, right? We’re still on the same page?”

She didn’t even stall when she answered. “Absolutely.”

Sidney stretched, her body cramped from sleeping on the couch again. The first thing she did was head straight for the kitchen and the coffee pot. While she waited for her emergency fuel to brew, she couldn’t stop herself from peeking out the window and toward the small house Kade currently called his home. She still didn’t know why he lived there, how long he planned to stay, or even how long he’d been there. Damn Mae for choosing to leave that bit of information out when Sidney had called and begged to come home.

Since they were friends now, though, she could ask him those questions herself. Warmth spread through her at the thought.

Sidney busied herself making a cup of coffee. She’d drive the devil truck to the city today and try not to dwell on Kade or her phone call with Lydia last night. She’d check her e-mail a million times from her iPhone, even though they’d just spoken.

The call couldn’t have come at a better time.

This year, she would land the role of her dreams and nothing would stand in her way. Even Lydia thought so.

Actually, it didn’t even have to be the role of her dreams. Just a movie. Right now, that was enough for her.

Once she finished her coffee, she took a quick shower before she grabbed a pair of cut-off shorts and a pale peach tank top.

Just as she pushed her sunglasses up on her head and slipped her feet into a pair of flip-flops, a knock sounded from the front door.

Oh, she bet it was Kade. He needed help with Lucky’s, and yesterday she’d been too worn out after their conversation. Her stupid heart leapt.

She didn’t bother with the peephole—this being Shamrock Falls after all—and pulled the door open. “Hey you,” she said to Rowan.

“Hey. You look like you’re on your way out. Got a minute before you go?” Rowan smiled at her. She wasn’t wearing any makeup. When she was younger she’d always tried to cover her freckles. Sidney never got it. It wasn’t like she had too many, and they gave her character. Sidney had actually kind of envied them when they were younger.

“Sure.” She held the door open to let her in, and they both sat on Mae’s floral couch. Rowan didn’t waste any time before she opened her mouth and said, “I’m here to talk about Kade.”

Guilt hit her. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t know for sure if you guys were together, and then he hugged me.”
And I moaned like it had been his mouth against mine instead of his arms around me.
“I should have stopped him, but…” But she couldn’t? That wasn’t a good enough excuse. Because it felt too right? Because she missed him? None of those fit. “Row, I’m so sorry.”

“Wait. Hold the phone. Why are we freaking out about a hug here?”

Sidney fell backward against the couch without an answer for Rowan. Honestly, it
was
only a hug. Even if Rowan and Kade were together, there wasn’t anything wrong with hugging a friend.

“Hun, do you think Kade and I have something going? Is that why you think you should have stopped him?”

Sidney buried her face in her hands and nodded.

Rowan did the craziest thing. She laughed. “Hell yes!”

Sidney opened her fingers and peeked at Rowan. “Huh?”

She pulled Sidney’s hands away, still smiling. “First of all, Kade and I are not together. He’s hardly been home longer than you. And even if he had…Kade Mitchell has only ever had eyes for you, Sidney. You have to know that.”

Rowan’s words sent butterflies skittering through her belly. They weren’t together? And Kade had only ever had eyes for her? No…that couldn’t be. And she didn’t want it to be true, either. “Please. Kade was a serial dater in high school. Everyone wanted him.”

It was true. Both she and Rowan had gotten the evil eye from way too many girls to count because they’d been so close to him.

Rowan shrugged. “He was a teenage boy. He liked girls. That didn’t mean he really cared about them. Not the way he cared about you.”

“Whatever Kade felt about me was nothing different than how he felt about you.” A part of her knew that wasn’t really true. He might have felt a little bit of desire for her, but she chalked that up to the teenage hormones Rowan was talking about. “And even if he had felt something different…that died five years ago.”

Loneliness suddenly settled into her bones—through her whole body. Whether it took residency there or was just making itself known, she wasn’t sure. Either way, she didn’t like it at all. Just minutes ago she’d been flying from Lydia’s call.

Rowan sighed. “You know…I actually think you believe that. You’ve never really seen things clearly, Sidney. I hate to say that, but it’s true. Just like I also need to tell you…” She sighed. “It hurt us all the way you left. I made peace with it a long time ago, but I still want you to know that.”

Tears pricked Sidney’s eyes and she didn’t try to stop them from flooding over and sliding down her face. She knew she’d hurt people. She hated that, but she hadn’t known what to do. She’d been scared and confused and…weak. Insecure. “I know…and I’m so sorry. I can’t tell you how many times I wish I would have done things differently, but I just had to go.”

Rowan shook her head. “That’s not why I came here. Like I said, I made peace with it. Kade? I don’t know if he has, not fully. You were his best friend. I know you both love me, but I also know it’s always been more the two of you.”

“What! No—” Sidney tried to say, but Rowan cut her off.

“I’m a big girl. I get it.”

“I used to be jealous,” Sidney blurted out. She’d never admitted it before, and wasn’t sure why she needed to now, but she did. “When you guys would go fishing together… I know it was your thing. You guys both liked it and I didn’t, but I used to get jealous. Stupid, right?”

Rowan looked at her with a smirk. “Did you ever stop and consider
why
you felt that way?”

She rolled her eyes. “It’s not what you think, and honestly, I’m not sure I have it in me to talk about it right now.” It wasn’t that she had romantic feelings for Kade. It was just…he always felt like he was hers, in a way. Wrong, but true. “I’m sorry if we ever made you feel as though we didn’t care about you as much as we did each other.”