Lucky in Love (9 page)

I forced a small smile and said, “Ok, thank you.” Moments later he was gone and I was alone to re-evaluate the mess I had made that night, over and over again.

All That Followed

By the
time I finally came crawling out of the office, it was almost closing time. The bar was almost completely devoid of customers, aside from a few groupies that were still hanging around the stage watching the band pack up. Noah was easy to spot. He was sitting with his back to me just a few feet ahead at the same bar counter he had been working all night. As I got closer, I caught sight of a nearly empty Jack Daniel’s bottle sitting just at arm’s length for easy access. Beside the whiskey bottle sat a rather full shot glass practically begging to be emptied. A request Noah fulfilled, just as I sat down in the seat beside him.

“Noah.  I'm really sorry.  I should have known you were looking out for me,” I said, purposely avoiding his gaze and staring at the bottle caps that had been tossed on the floor instead. Noah graciously abstained from making eye contact as well as he reached for the bottle of Jack and proceeded to pour himself another shot.

“Yeah, but there's a lot of things you don't know, Lucky,” he spat condescendingly before lifting the glass to his lips.

“Yes, I know, I'm really naive about a lot of things...like the kind of guys that are out there.  I'm really lucky I have a friend like you.” He was making me feel horrible, but I knew I deserved it. I reached out and put my hand on his arm, but he shook it off. When he turned to look at me, I was taken aback by the hurt in his eyes.

“Why? Because I'm the worst kind of guy and I know how they think?” Noah snapped.

“What? No! You would never do something like what Trevor did!  You are nothing like that!” I stared at him in disbelief. Where was this coming from? Noah just sat down his glass and reached for the bottle once more.

“Maybe not, but you still think I'm an asshole,” he said dully. Then he realized that the bottle was empty and tossed it into the trash can, nearly missing it in the process.

“I don't think you're an asshole.  I think you are probably the world's worst possible boyfriend, but
You
are the best friend I could ever hope for.” I didn’t know what else to tell him. It was the truth. In all the years I had known him, Noah had never let me down.

“Yeah, that's what I thought you'd say.  Not what I was hoping to hear, but what I thought you'd say,” he muttered quietly as he began rubbing his eyes with both hands as if something was obstructing his vision and he was trying to clear it out.

“How much have you had to drink?” I asked tentatively. I had been wondering since I saw the bottle, but had been too afraid to ask until then.

Noah put his hands back down in his lap and attempted to sit up a little straighter. When he spoke his words were clearer than they had been.

“Enough to tell you how I feel about you and too much to care how you react to it.”

              Certain he had amped up to reprimand me once more for acting like an ungrateful brat, I began to plead with him, “Please don't be mean.  It's been a really rough night, and I'm sure I deserve whatever you have coming to me, but can it wait 'til tomorrow?  Please?” I looked in his eyes, trying to get a better read on what was going through his mind, but what I saw, I couldn’t make sense out of. He wasn’t angry, but something was obviously eating away at him.

“No, it can't wait,” he replied firmly. Then he turned himself around in his seat so we were facing each other before he blurted, “Lucky, I don't want to play these stupid games with you anymore.  I'm in love with you.”

Silence.

Apparently having said all he intended to say, Noah leaned over and kissed me. The kiss was long and intense and I felt his hand hold onto my hand, his grip tightening the more he leaned into me. It was completely overwhelming. Hearing him confess his feelings was bad enough, but the emotions that began to stream through me the moment his lips touched mine were more than I could handle. As long buried lusts began to unleash themselves and take hold, a more familiar feeling of fear burst in and brought everything to a screeching halt. Without thinking, I put my hand on Noah’s chest and pushed him away.

“Wait. Stop. You can't just do this.  Not like this!” My voice cracked as I spoke and for a moment I was terrified I might begin to cry again.

“I'm sorry.  I know you don't feel that way about me...I just had to tell you.” Noah shook his head and pulled himself further away from me.

“No, it's not that.  I just really wasn't expecting this...and you're drunk...and I'm a little scared of how you will feel about all this in the morning.” It was hard to explain something I hadn’t fully understood myself yet. Noah, however wasn’t dealing with any kind of confusion on his part. That almost scared me more.

“Oh, I'm going to feel the same way.  I feel the same way every morning...Oh, I might be sick.” He leaned back into his seat, put his head back and closed his eyes, in what I assumed was an attempt to stop the room from spinning.

“Ok, let’s get you home.” Grateful to have something else to focus on, I helped him off of his chair and slowly walked him out of the bar.

The drive home was quiet and uneventful. I wasn’t sure if Noah had actually fallen asleep or if he was just pretending, either way, I was happy not to have to sort something as important as ‘love’ out with a drunk version of him.

I woke up the next morning feeling as though my head were in a fog. I hadn’t gotten to bed until almost 4am, and while I was certain I had only just lain down and closed my eyes for one brief moment, the sun spilling through the cracks in my blinds suggested otherwise. Groggily, I pulled the blankets back up to my chin and rolled over on to my side in an effort to get more rest. I caught a brief glimpse of the clock as I started to bury my face in my pillow. Seconds later I jumped out of bed and frantically began to pull my clothes on. It was a school day and I had seriously overslept. Realizing what a moment of genius I had had the night before for stumbling into the shower, in spite of the fact that I was exhausted, instead of simply falling into bed fully clothed as my initial instincts had suggested, I gave myself a mental pat on the back while double fisting it into the bathroom with deodorant and toothpaste.

Minutes later I was storming down the stairs, smelling rather fresh but nevertheless looking quite frazzled. Jason, who was calmly sitting at the kitchen table having his morning coffee, grinned when he saw me plow into the kitchen, nearly taking down one of the kitchen chairs in the process.

“What time is it?” I asked trying to catch my breath.

“Relax, you have plenty of time,” Jason replied, trying to muffle a burst of laughter that had managed to escape in spite of his efforts.

“Really?  Oh, thank God!  I totally overslept.” I ignored the fact that Jason was so amused at my expense and let out a sigh of relief. Allowing myself to slow down, I took on more of a stroll as I went for the fridge to retrieve some O.J. After pouring myself a nice large glass of juice, I went and sat down in the chair I had nearly demolished upon entering the kitchen.

“I wasn't expecting you to get up at all this morning.  What time did you get in last night?” Jason asked as while lifting his mug to take another sip.

“About three, I think.” Looking back, I really couldn’t say for sure.

“So then, the date went well?” Jason seemed genuinely interested, which meant he hadn’t heard any of the commotion Noah had caused the night before after we got home, nor had he and Jason talked.

“Not exactly.  Have you seen Noah yet this morning?” I asked, suddenly remembering that we had left his truck parked outside of the bar.

“Yeah, he came through a while ago.  I think he went running.  He didn't really say anything.  Why?” Jason’s interest was quickly turning to nosy curiosity.

“Oh, it's a long story...” I sighed as I sunk into my chair in an attempt to relax for a few more moments.

“Are you going to tell me?” Jason raised his eyebrows, a sign that he was still waiting to hear more of an explanation. I wasn’t quite ready to offer him one, so I decided to change topics in an attempt to take the focus off of myself.

“Later...so, how are things with Tara?”

Jason grinned.

“Really good,” he said while nodding his head confidently.

“Hm.” I took another big gulp of my orange juice.

“Why? Did she say something?” Jason was leaning forward in his seat, appearing slightly unnerved by the fact that I was clearly holding out on him.

“I'm not supposed to tell you,” I said seriously.

“You're kidding me, right?” He looked at me probingly, trying to determine if I was really being serious. Unable to keep it going any longer, I broke into a smile, “Yeah. She thinks things are going really well, too.   I'm really happy for you.” I meant it.

“Thanks. I'm pretty happy, too.” He leaned back in his seat looking very pleased. Suddenly we were interrupted by a noise outside. We both looked back at the door right as Noah was coming in. He was completely drenched in sweat from running, which didn’t help his already haggard looking appearance. Even if I hadn’t known that he had spent the night, half drowning in whiskey and the other half throwing it all back up, one look at him would have clued me in. Without saying a word to either of us, Noah reached for the fridge and pulled out a water bottle.

“Good run?” Jason asked him.

“Yup,” Noah replied, clearly not feeling as chatty as he had the night before.

“I'm
kinda surprised you're up and running so early.  Are you feeling ok?” I asked concerned.

“Why wouldn't I be?” Noah snorted causing him to spit water, which he quickly wiped from his chin with the back of his hand.

“I don't know, maybe because you were puking your guts out last time I saw you.” Just like that my concern for him had disappeared and instead I was beginning to feel somewhat agitated by his attitude.

“It happens,” he said flatly and began to walk away.

“Ok...did you want me to give you a ride to your truck this morning?” I called after him as he was walking up the stairs.

              He stopped and turned back to fill me in, “I already got it.”

“You did?” I asked, beginning to get more confused as the conversation progressed.

“Gabe took me.” This time when Noah replied, he didn’t turn back.

“Oh...well, good,” I said quietly to myself, since he had already disappeared up the stairs. I turned back towards the table and my juice and noticed Jason looking at me suspiciously. I ignored him and went back to drinking what was left of my O.J.

“You guys have a fight or something?” Jason asked after staring at me for a while, hoping I would expound on the issue without being prompted.

“Or something.  Come on let’s go, it's time.” I tried to change the topic once more, hoping I would succeed in my attempt to avoid discussing any and all details pertaining to the spectacle that had occurred the night before.

However this time around, I wasn’t so lucky, as Jason continued to press the matter, “Don't think I'm going to forget about the long story and the or something!  I'm going to have hear the whole thing!  And soon!”

I had gotten up from the table even as he was ranting at me.

“Come on!” I repeated more sternly this time. I knew full well that if I didn’t think fast and come up with a version of the night’s events that remained close to the truth, while still allowing me to retain some sort of dignity and privacy, I would be divulging every little detail by the time we arrived at the school.

Finally, Jason got up and we both grabbed our bags before we hurried out of the door.

After the unexpected run in with Noah in the kitchen, we had gone from having plenty of time to running late again, in no time at all.

Crotchless Panties? Why Bother?!

It was
early evening and Tara and I had decided that after a long day of dealing with teenagers who were less than grateful for all of the information we had been willing to share with them due to finals drawing nearer, we were entitled to some much needed R&R at the mall. Nothing like a little bit of shopping and people watching to bring you back to your happy place, I say. We had already made our way through half of the shops, purchased shoes and several pairs of earrings at a sale we simply couldn’t pass up, when Tara abruptly stopped in front of a lingerie store.  Before I knew it, she had grabbed my wrist and was dragging me inside. Having no pressing need for lingerie myself at the time, I wandered aimlessly around the store sporadically checking out the merchandise as I went by. Tara on the other hand, seemed to be on some sort of a mission, as she went from one display to the next, pulling different items out to get a better look before making a disgruntled face and shoving them back into place. After what seemed like a long time to me, she made her way back around to the front, where I had planted myself beside the panties, half standing, half leaning up against the table they were so grandly displayed upon.              

Apparently something on the table had caught her eye, as she began to shuffle through the different styles and designs they had to offer.