Authors: Suzan Battah
Chapter Thirty
That Friday afternoon, Julia was trying her best to forget that ugly encounter at the Augustine when she remembered she had her final appointment with her surgeon. She endured the terrible ordeal of the physical exam and she followed the doctor back to her office. Even throughout the whole examination, she couldn’t get Karen’s nasty words out of her head.
Doctor Werona spun around in her tall leather chair. “When you’re ready, have a seat, and we will chat.” She finished scribbling in her notebook, paused, made a few more notes then put her pen down. Despite the extreme physical pain after the thorough examination, Julia was determined to hide her pain as she limped into the office toward the seat.
“Your improvement has been remarkable, especially considering the seriousness of your accident. Many in your position would be
paralyzed
for life. So what’s with the attitude?”
Julia frowned, immediately on the defensive. “I want the surgery to fix the rest. I still hobble, and I can’t walk straight…”
“Another surgery would be risky. We’ve discussed this before. It’s not necessary. Time and therapy will help you return almost to normal.” Doctor Werona cut her off sharply. “Excuse me, Julia. Tell me the real problem.”
Julia felt properly chastised, but refused to give in so easily. Everything Doctor Werona said was true, but she didn’t want to wait. She was determined to walk no matter how much pain she would go through. She didn’t want to spend the rest of the year on crutches. She wanted the surgery.
“I think perhaps the reconstructive surgery will assist me in walking better, and there are other factors, you know. The scarring is… unpleasant to look at.”
The doctor looked thoughtful for a few minutes. “Are you willing to go through all the extra pain, physical therapy, and rehabilitation when there is a high chance you will still limp?”
Julia blanched at the reality of her situation. “I might still limp?”
“Yes.” Doctor Werona swung forward in her chair to further her point. “The nerves are badly damaged. Further complications could arise. In my opinion, another surgery would only cause more problems. Your knee and hip have healed up fine. The bulging discs in your back will heal in time. You are walking and improving constantly. Now, tell me why all of a sudden you want the surgery, you were never keen on it before.”
Julia instantly began to fidget. “I just think it would make me feel better if I had the surgery done. I have scars all over my leg anyway. They are bad… what?”
Doctor Werona raised a brow at her. Julia pretended to brush invisible dust from her jeans. It was too clear what she had on her mind. “Have you had sex since the accident?”
Julia snorted in answer, but her face flamed bright red at the doctor’s blunt question. “It’s got nothing to do with that,” she muttered lamely, unable to look the doctor in the eye. “Of course I have. Long before now.”
“Perhaps you should see a sex therapist,” the doctor determined, making a few more notes in Julia’s file with an approving nod of her head. “You seem to be feeling less sexually attractive, and that’s something you should work on.”
“I said it has nothing to do with that. It hurts when I walk.” She pressed her point. “My hip moves inwards and my foot turns and there isn’t much feeling from here to here.”
Doctor Werona scribbled some more notes down and this irritated Julia even more. She couldn’t see what the doctor was writing about her, probably some nonsense that wasn’t true.
“I don’t think you understand why I need this,” Julia tried to explain, while attempting again to sneak a peek at the notes.
Silence passed, excruciatingly painful. All she could hear was the scratch of Doctor Werona writing notes and the whirring of the fan and computer. Julia cleared her throat, waiting for a response.
Doctor Werona looked up, shutting the file with a kind smile. “I understand why you think you need this. You want to know you can please a man in bed. But sexual desire or satisfaction should not be a reason to have major surgery. Now I think this referral to a sex therapist will assist you with adjusting.” The doctor passed her the referral with a chirpy end to their session.
“It’s got nothing to do with sex, I swear. I was with Chris for so long after the accident and it was good, really good.”
Doctor Werona swung around in her chair, putting her pencil down. “So, what’s the problem?”
“I don’t know.”
A few moments later, Julia waited in front of the medical
center
for Boric to pick her up. She felt deflated. She had been hoping to come out with confirmation of surgery to correct her leg and hip and the scarring. Instead, she had a referral to see a sex therapist. This made her mad, more than anything. Sex wasn’t the issue. At least she didn’t think it was. She was going to prove it to herself, one way or another.
After her confrontation with Karen, she had been on a whirlwind of emotions. There was no way she believed what that deranged woman had said, though it had hurt at the time.
“I’m here, sweet cakes!” Boric called out from the parking lot. Julia turned around at his call, heading over to the rusty wagon.
Coming around to the passenger side, Boric opened the door in one swift swoop. He had parked so close to the path, the metal scraped against the concrete in protest, almost denting the end of the already rusty door.
Julia shook her head with a smile. Boric was a character. There was no denying that. He managed to delight her in everything he did, boosting her spirits considerably. She needed that today, since she hadn’t expected to be refused the surgery.
“So what did the doctor say?” He peered at her while driving carefully through traffic. He drove under the speed limit with cars whizzing past, some even honking and calling out furiously at him.
“Just stuff,” she mumbled before looking out the window.
“
Okaaay
,” he muttered, not pressing her further, his brow furrowed with concern.
As he opened the door to their apartment, the darkness within should have given her pause. But she stopped him to confide her secret. “Doctor Werona won’t let me get the surgery. She thinks I need a sex therapist. Can you believe that?” She let out her frustration. “Why’s the apartment so dark?”
He turned to her and muttered something under his breath, swinging back around to try and get through the door. He shrieked when her hand shot out to stop him.
“Surprise!” The lights switched on to reveal the place decorated with streamers and balloons. Randy came forward, arms thrown wide, but his smile faded when he saw Julia’s face. “What happened?” he asked Boric.
“She’s just a little cranky,” Boric mumbled and then, brightening up, went over to greet some friends.
Julia could feel her face heat up. Had everyone heard what she said? She was even more embarrassed when she saw Chris there with a drink in his hand. In fact, Chris and Dylan were closest to the door. What if they had heard?
But she didn’t have time to worry about that for everyone was crowding around her. She was overwhelmed by the support, especially with Chris making an appearance with Dylan.
They all came in to embrace her and congratulate on her recovery since the accident. Dylan hugged her close.
She broke free with a laugh. “I’m just going to change into something more comfortable,” she said, pulling her hair back into a ponytail. It had been growing longer and she had vowed never to cut it shorter again.
“You look fine.” Chris tried to stop her, coming over to her, but she avoided him, ducking past him straight for her room and shutting the door.
She took her time changing into a short summer dress, trying in vain to slow her beating heart. When she peered around her door, she spotted Chris again in an instant.
He was slowly perusing the corridor wall, which Randy and Boric had filled with pictures of Julia. There were photographs of her everywhere, covering all the walls, from when she was a young girl to adulthood. The main theme was a celebration of her life and recovery. There were several photographs of her in hospital, showing the stages of her recovery.
Julia wondered if he would move away, but his attention was absorbed in the gallery of her life. She couldn’t stay in her bedroom forever. She gained the courage to step out, at the same time he started laughing. Julia stared at him, afraid he was laughing at her.
His gaze fell on her before returning to the photos plastered across the wall. “These captions are very creative,” he pointed out, gesturing at the pictures. “Randy’s hilarious, coming up with these suggestions. Did we ever try that?”
She had no idea what he was talking about. Her eyes narrowed and after she scanned a couple of the racy captions, her cheeks reddened slightly.
“I had no idea.” She was quick to look away, finding it difficult to look at the pictures of her in the hospital. “I haven’t seen any of these photos. But I think Boric wrote the captions. Randy’s a bit more conservative than that.”
Chris took a sip of his beer. “How was your appointment? You’ve been to see your surgeon.”
Sighing, she knew she couldn’t tell him what the doctor thought. She began to fiddle with the chain around her neck. “I’m getting a second opinion.”
“Why?” He reached out, caressing her cheek and running his finger under her chin.
She relaxed, taking a deep breath. “The doctor refused the reconstructive surgery. I was supposed to go in for a second operation to fix my leg, but she thinks it’s not necessary. Now I’m going to walk with a limp. She thinks that I… Doctors and their… their…”
“What?” He lean
ed
closer, highly amused.
“Stupid ideas,” she muttered.
“What idea?” he asked, taking her hand in his and making her unable to think clearly while he was touching her, holding her, coming closer and closer.
“She thinks I need a… a sex therapist.” She spat the phrase out bitterly.
Chris looked like he was about to laugh outright. She glared at him, daring him to make fun of her. She was ready for a fight. He took a sip of his beer and turned serious. “Why would she suggest that?”
Julia had wondered exactly the same thing when she had been sitting in the doctor’s office, getting the third degree. “Oh, I don’t know, sometimes I wonder. Do I look like I need a sex therapist? We were going at it long after the accident. Was there a problem?”
“No way.” Chris shrugged. “But if you need help, there’s nothing wrong with that.”
She sucked in a breath. There was meaning behind those words. At first she didn’t see it, but now she did. “It’s just, maybe Karen was right. You don’t want me because I’m… I’m changed.” He reached out, but she blocked his move, angry, stepping away from him.
“Jules… I never said that.” He grabbed her arm, and she shook him off. “You’re beautiful, sexy, and still the only one I want.”
Julia burst out, “I don’t believe you! Why didn’t you come back? I’ve been waiting for you… I’ve been waiting for you. I even left you a note...”
“What note?” He frowned.
“It’s really over for us, isn’t it?”
“No it’s not.” He was about to say something more, but his cell started ringing, he swore, his eyes wide with indecision. She glowered at his cell phone, wanting him to throw it away and pay attention only to her.
“That’s all I needed to know,” she murmured, feeling the frustration come back in full force. “Why you didn’t come back. You said you would fight for me. But now, now when I’m ready for happily ever after… you’re not there.”
“Of course I want you! I haven’t stopped wanting you… I have to take this call, but we’re not done,” he gritted out.
Julia would have given him a smart response about the phone call being more important than she was. But the serious expression on his face made her think twice. He disappeared out onto the balcony to talk in private in a lowered voice.
Julia, dispirited, moved back into the gaily decorated room. She remembered suddenly that she hadn’t eaten all day and headed for the buffet. The music was pumping loudly. The array of finger food on the table was brightened with little postcards of affirmations standing on each tray. She didn’t feel like celebrating, but the cards were so supportive, they almost made her cry. She was reading each when she caught sight of the newspaper scattered on the breakfast bar. The real estate section was open.
“What’s this?” She reached for it, scanning the photograph on the front page. That beach house they loved so much was going to auction. It was displayed on the first page. She checked her watch, it would be sold today in ten minutes. Her heart dropped down into her stomach. This was the last connection they had together and it was going under the hammer.
She couldn’t believe this was happening. She couldn’t lose another symbol of their love. Without another thought, she grabbed her handbag and headed for the door, determined to see the house again before someone else bought it.
Andreena
asked no one in particular. “Hey, where’s Julia going?”