Authors: Melissa Marr
All I need to do right now is get Reid through tonight. I suggest, “Maybe go straight home. Stay in. Think about it tonight, plan it out, and then you can go see her in the morning. Afterwards, come see me, so I can hear how it goes.”
“Tomorrow,” he says softly. “You think I should do it tomorrow morning.” He shakes his head. “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” I assure him. I lean in and kiss his cheek. “Good luck.”
CeCe and Grace are watching us with blatant curiosity, but I’m not going to embarrass Reid by letting them know who he’s crushing on—or according to my vision, in love with. Hopefully, he’ll tell Madison how he feels, and then I have to tell him that he’s a potential murder victim before evening falls again.
“Let me get Eva settled and then we can go,” Grace interjects. “My purse is up there anyhow.”
Grace and I head to the stairs, but I refuse to go up on my butt this time. I tell her, “Just walk behind me so if I fall you can help steady me—not that I’m
going
to fall.”
She grumbles, but agrees.
We’re halfway up when Grace says, “Thanks for stepping in with Reid. I’m not up for twenty minutes of the ‘why sex is just like saying hello but naked’ conversation. He needs a girlfriend—or a hobby.”
I pause on the landing. Steps are harder than they look when you’re on crutches. When I reach my room, I go to sit at the edge of my bed. I’m tired from the death visions and the trip upstairs and from trying to pretend like I’m not five minutes from crying.
“Reid’s going to get shot,” I blurt now that we’re alone. “I saw it. He’s trying to tell some girl—I think Madison—that he loves her, and he gets shot.”
“Wow.” She lowers herself to the edge of my bed.
“And Piper. The killer was in her house. He drugs her.” I shudder at the memory of that vision. “She’s going to stay with her grandmother.”
“You told her?” Grace sounds shocked.
“No!” I smile slightly. “I just pointed out that she’s been my best friend forever, so she’s in greater risk.”
“Like me,” she whispers.
I grab her and hug her. “I won’t let anything happen to you. You’re here inside Fortress Tilling, and then you avoid the library. I
saw
it, Grace. That was where you were. You cannot go there.”
“If your visions are real,” she adds.
Quickly, I fill her in on what I saw in Robert’s death. I finish with “Robert admitted that he was suicidal. He was shocked that I knew, but he
admitted
it.”
Grace sighs. “So it
is
real . . . which means if Piper leaves Reid is the next victim.”
“And that we know where your risk is,” I add. “We can keep you safe, and hopefully all of them. Piper will get out of town. Reid’s death was outside, in the late afternoon or early evening, with a girl there, and by a bullet.” I pause, thinking over the visions I had. “I told Reid to go right home and stay there. If he listens, he should be safe—for now.”
It’s not a great plan, but it’s the best I have right now. Maybe we can keep everyone safe until the police catch the killer.
“Yeung! Let’s go,” Reid calls up, forestalling any more plotting.
“Coming!” She turns back to me. “Tell Nate everything. I’ll call you later.”
Once she grabs her bag, Grace heads downstairs and joins the stragglers who, from the sounds of it, are waiting at the door for her. A few minutes later, I hear the door close behind them, and then it’s only Nate still in the house with me.
I pick up my laptop and go to my file of death visions. Then I start adding the ones I just saw before I forget too many details.
I’m sitting with my back against my headboard. My leg is stretched out, raised slightly on a pillow, and it occurs to me that this is a lot like being in the hospital—just more comfortable. It’s quieter too, so much so that I could almost miss the sound of Nate coming up the stairs. I don’t though because I’m sitting here waiting for him, nervous that we’ll fight and hopeful that he’ll hold me so I can feel a little less awful. Seeing so many deaths was horrifying. These are my friends, and I just watched most of them die.
Nate stops in the hall and leans against the doorframe, not quite inside my room. “We should talk.”
“Robert’s not the killer,” I start.
“I meant talk about what happened in the kitchen,” Nate says quietly.
“No.” I shake my head and continue to focus on the killer. I skim my sketchy notes and tell him, “Reid gets shot. I think he might be the next victim—or maybe Piper. She’s drugged and killed in her house. I talked her into leaving town, so I hope that her family lets her. CeCe didn’t have a death vision. I don’t know why.” I think back over the snippets of deaths I saw and felt, and I shudder. I have to look at Nate when I tell him, “I saw Robert’s death. Suicide. Over all of
this
.”
I feel a little guilty for violating Robert’s privacy this time. It was different with Grace, but I need Nate to know, too. I want him to be nicer to Robert because I’m not convinced that the danger of Robert committing suicide has passed. I hope Robert will keep his word, but knowing both of his girlfriends—because that’s what Amy and I both were—have been attacked by a murderer has to be devastating.
I realize that Nate is staring at me. Maybe it’s my deluge of words, or maybe it’s because this is far from what he said he wanted to discuss. I don’t know. I meet his gaze and wait though. I need him on my side. I’m scared, and tired, and still recovering from the accident. I need him to help me—and to be someone I can trust.
“Eva,” he starts, but he says nothing more. He’s still in the doorway to my room, but the way he watches me makes him feel closer.
“I’m tired, Nate, and I don’t want to think about it, but”—I look back down at my laptop—“I’m guessing that the killer isn’t waiting around forever. Reid dies in the afternoon or early evening, and he’s with a girl he loves. Since he isn’t going to be with her tonight, I need to figure this out before tomorrow. I’m going to talk to him tomorrow.”
“He’s safe tonight?” Nate asks.
“Yeah. I’m pretty sure. I got him to agree to stay home tonight. He’s going to tell her how he feels tomorrow morning.”
Nate walks farther into my room and says, “If everyone’s safe for now, can we
please
talk about what happened with us? I want to ta—”
“I already told you how I feel,” I interrupt without looking up at Nate. “You don’t want a relationship. I didn’t ask for one. We’re either friends with rules or friends with benefits. It’s up to you which it is.”
“You’re not the sort of girl who—”
“
Don’t
tell me what sort of girl I am, Nate.” I flip the laptop closed with more force than I should. “I’m the sort of girl a killer is sending messages to, the sort of girl who was attacked and left for dead, and the sort of girl who, oh yeah, sees deaths and is trying to figure out how to save her friends. Trust me when I say that a night with the Jessup man-slut isn’t the worst thing possible. It’s insulting that you think it’s okay for you to sleep with half our class, but I’m supposed to be . . . What? A blushing virgin? I’m
not
.”
He watches me in silence again, and I think he might do a repeat of the exiting act from earlier. Instead, he sits on the very edge of my bed beside my uninjured hip. He takes my computer and sets it on the nightstand. He doesn’t look at me, choosing instead to stare at his shoes, as he admits, “I don’t know what to do about you. I’ve never known what to do with you, not once I noticed that you were a girl.”
“Are you looking for suggestions other than the two I already offered?”
“Maybe.”
I scoot over so we’re shoulder to shoulder. He still faces the door and wall beside me, so we’re sort of perpendicular to each other. Cautiously, I touch his arm, and when he glances at me, I say, “If friends or friends with benefits is out, then I say you ask me on a date.”
“And then?” He turns to face me finally, bending one leg and moving a little farther onto the bed, and I realize that he’s afraid. “I’m not the sort of guy your family would approve of, not like that.”
“Really?” I say gently. “You can’t honestly think my mother is blind. She
hired
you.”
“Being the help is diff—”
“She hired you because she knows I like you”—I lean closer and kiss his jaw—“and that you like me.”
“If we date and I fuck up, we won’t be friends. I don’t want that.”
“So we don’t fuck up.” I kiss him then, cautiously at first. I’m not used to being the aggressor. There’s never been anyone I’ve wanted to kiss as much as I want to kiss Nate. I feel like I’ve been waiting for this kiss, this conversation, this
boy
since I first noticed boys. He’s the one. He’s
always
been the one.
I stop being tentative. I reach up to hold on to the back of his neck, and I press closer to him. It’s awkward because my leg limits my ability to move, but after he kisses me back with the same urgency, I stop noticing my leg and everything else.
Judge
B
ARELY A MONTH AGO
, I’d entered into my darkest time, my doubtful wandering through the desert. In my doubt, I nearly killed the one who was meant to be my helpmate. Today, Eva invited me into her home and told me what to do.
The journey to this day has been so long. It took me years to comprehend that it was Eva I needed. For years, my grandmother told me that the Lord had made a woman just for me. She promised that I had only to wait and watch; His ways are sometimes hard to know but if we are open to His messages, if we listen for His orders, we’ll know.
I waited. I watched. I studied them all.
Then I realized that Eva was the only one who could truly understand me, so I waited for her to heed the Lord’s message, too. I knew Eva had heard His voice when she told me that there was a girl out there for me, and if I would be less crude, I’d find her.
I made sure she saw me be kind and good. I thought that it would be enough, but then she didn’t come to me. I still wasn’t good enough. She punished me by sleeping with Robert.
But I forgave her. I kept trying—until I saw her turn her gaze so often to Bouchet. I drove the car into her body, even though it hurt
my
heart and lungs to do it. When God spared her life, I knew that we still had a chance, so I left her messages. I even sacrificed Amy. I did everything right.
And now . . . and now . . . she rewarded me. She asked me to touch her. It was only for a moment, but it was pure and good. Soon, she’ll ask me to touch her all the time.
First, I must complete the mission Eva gave me today. I know this is the final challenge. I’ll do a good job, and then I’ll go to Eva’s house, just as she said I should.
As I drive, I think about how to do it. Madison is difficult. She’s a challenge.
“Reid?”
CeCe is talking. I’d considered her. I still want to, but
Madison
is the one Eva chose for us. I see now that CeCe would be too easy for the trial Eva wants me to complete. Like a knight of old, or a soldier fighting for the South, I wish I had a token of Eva’s regard to carry with me on the battlefield. Maybe I’ll ask for one next time.
“Reid,” CeCe snaps. “You missed the turn.”
“Maybe I just wanted to keep you with me longer.”
“Funny. Turn around.”
Beside me, Grace is silent, and I remember that Eva didn’t want Grace left alone with anyone. Eva
told me that
. I’m not going to risk upsetting Eva when we’re so close to our future. “Sorry but Yeung needs to get home first. Right, Yeung?”
“She’s past my house though,” CeCe objects.
I shrug. It’s hard to talk to girls who don’t matter as much as my Eva does, but I have to do as Eva wants. I’ll spend the rest of our lives doing as she wants. I’ve been waiting so long, but today, she let me know that she’s almost ready for our union. I felt her hesitation when she asked me to touch her, but she did it. There, surrounded by all of Them, and even with Grace and Bouchet in the room, she asked me to touch her.
I ignore CeCe and Grace as I think about Eva’s skin. She was as excited as I was. Her pulse felt like a small hammer under my fingertips. I knew when I touched her that she has been receiving my messages. She has heard me, and she is glad. She told me that she saw me, but no one else did. That’s why she gave me a task: it’s to show her my love and loyalty.
Together, we chose the next message. I’d hoped that she’d seen the rightness of my choices, but I’m excited that she made the choice for me—for
us
—this time. Eva let me know that she’s a part of the mission. After I do as Eva directed, we’ll be together. She told me that today. She
knew
I needed to give her one more lesson. She told me, “If she’ll make you happy, do something about it.”
“Left here,” Grace says.
Silently, I pull into her drive and wave as she gets out of the car. Then, I pat the passenger seat. “Come up here, CeCe. I’m not going to play chauffeur.”
CeCe mutters something I can’t make out, but she obeys. We watch as Grace walks to the door. Once she’s inside, I smile at CeCe and suggest, “No witnesses now, Watkins. Call your mother, and tell her you’re staying over with Piper for a while.”
“Why would I do that?” She has her phone out already though.
“Let me take you on a date. No one has to know.” I take her hand in mine and pretend she’s Eva. I give her the comforting look I want to give to Eva. “Just a date, Cees. We’ll get some picnic stuff and go down to the lake.”
“I’m not like . . .” Her words fade, and I know she was going to say “Amy,” but caught herself. Instead, she says, “I’m not sleeping with you.”
“I didn’t ask you to,” I point out calmly. I miss Amy, and I need someone to ease the excitement I feel right now. CeCe is here. Maybe she’ll help me out a little. I smile at her and add, “I suggested you go on a picnic with someone who thinks you’re worth spending a little time with. Is that such a bad thing?”
For a moment, she’s silent. She stays that way as I put the car in reverse and back out of the Yeungs’ driveway. We’re several blocks away when she says, “All right.”