Magnificent Passage (26 page)

Mandy awakened with a start. She heard a soft click as a key turned the lock in her door. Alarm was replaced by surprise when she saw Hawk enter her room. Was he just coming in
to check on her? Maybe he'd become confused and entered her room by mistake. Pretending to be asleep, she watched him covertly from beneath her lashes. She couldn't believe her eyes when she saw him begin to undress. What in the world did he think he was doing? Then, seeing him slip and lurch against a chair, she guessed his condition. Hawk was blind, staggering drunk. Now she was certain he'd come to her room by mistake. He didn't look sober enough to have evil intentions.

She decided to lay as still as possible. When he fell asleep, she would slip from the bed, dress, and sleep on the settee. She heard him stumble again, then saw him turn in her direction. She'd never seen a man naked before. Mesmerized by the sight, she watched, both shocked and fascinated. Even in the darkness she could make out his wide shoulders and thick chest, the sandy mat of hair covering it reflecting in the slice of moonlight peeking through the window. His waist was narrow and tapered gently to slim hips and powerful legs. The muscles in his stomach rippled as he eased himself down onto the bed. Her cheeks flamed as she glanced away from his most intimate parts.

Naked, Hawk climbed beneath the covers. The room stopped spinning, but he couldn't seem to get comfortable. He rolled onto his side. Even through the alcohol mist, he could feel someone in the bed beside him. Had he somehow gone back to Sally's room instead of his own? He felt the thin material of her chemise. He thought he'd taken care of that the first time. Grabbing a handful, he ripped the offending fabric away. He heard a tiny gasp of surprise before his mouth came down hard on hers. A small place in his
mind remembered Sally's voice as passionate and husky, not timid and frightened, but he cast the thought aside.

His hand roamed the length of her. Her skin felt warm and supple, not soft and slack as before. His arousal strengthened. He plundered her sweet mouth with his tongue.

All the passions he'd withheld these past weeks surfaced. The liquor was wearing off, leaving him hardened with a steaming, insatiable desire. For weeks he'd been agonizing. Now he was a man with one single purpose—to impale the writhing, struggling body beneath his with all the power he could.

Mandy fought like a tigress. Terrified, she realized too late that this time Hawk was not going to stop. Maybe she'd brought it on herself by letting him take liberties before. She didn't know. Secretly, she admitted, she'd dreamed of Hawk making her a woman. But not like this. She tried to free her lips to plead with him. But he was relentless. He moved his body to cover hers, holding her hands effortlessly above her head. He didn't hurry, but kissed her deeply, passionately, and even through the whiskey she could taste the virile maleness of him. A strong hand caressed her breasts, urgently, forcefully, yet with practiced patience. He stroked her thighs, the line of her hip, the smooth flat surface below her navel, forcing her to respond. Her struggles weakened. She could hear a soft, mewling sound and dimly discovered it was coming from her. Her body was betraying her—even as he forced himself on her, she wanted him.

Hawk released his hold on her hands, and she slid them around his neck, pulling him even closer. She returned his
kisses and felt his tongue hotly probing the depths of her mouth. She writhed against him, a tiny part of her wishing she could stop, but another part wanting more. His mouth tortured the peaks of her breasts, then the quivering flesh above her navel. As he kissed her again, she felt his fingers probe her most intimate recess. He found her ready for him. Her shame was complete. With practiced ease, he positioned himself above her. She could feel his male hardness pressed determinedly against her, reaching the only obstacle that remained.

Hawk stopped. What the hell? . . . He pushed again. Once more he felt the barrier to his desires. The excitement pumping through his veins cleared the last of the alcohol muddling his thoughts and, like an icy gust of wind, realization dawned. Lifting his lips from the warm, soft ones beneath, he found himself staring into the gold-flecked, green eyes he knew so well. They were darkened with passion, her lips crimson from the heat of his kisses.

Damn! He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath to calm himself. What had he done?

“Forgive me, little one. . . . ” A deep feeling of regret—and a terrible guilt—knifed through him. “I guess you were telling the truth,” he whispered. But he'd gone too far to stop this time. “I promise it will hurt only for a moment.” The best he could do for her was to make it as pleasant as possible, hoping he wouldn't leave her with a permanent hatred of men. Determined to be gentle with the innocent in his arms, Hawk forced himself to go slowly. He kissed her deeply, thoroughly. Then he moved his lips to the stiff buds of her full breasts. His body was on fire. The blood pounded
in his ears. He covered her mouth again, used his tongue to distract her, then he thrust home.

Mandy gasped aloud and renewed her struggles against him. She felt a white-hot tearing in her loins. Tears gathered in her eyes and slipped down her cheeks. He held her firmly, patiently, speaking soothing words, trying to gentle her. Through the pain and terror, she felt his tenderness. It soothed her taut nerves and, trusting him a little more, she began to relax. He started moving again, at first slowly, carefully, then faster. The pain receded, replaced by a strange, building momentum she didn't understand. She closed her eyes and gave herself up to the wondrous swirling sensations.

The weeks of frustration had taken their toll. Try as he might, Hawk could not contain himself. He reached his release, tensed as a thousand stars burst upon the horizon, then relaxed against the warm flesh beneath him. He held her close and kissed her brow.

“I'll not hurt you again,” he promised. He kissed her fully, rolled to his side, then pulled her against him.

Dazed and confused, Mandy didn't understand what she was feeling. Part of her was glad it was over, but another part yearned for something more. Hearing Hawk's gentle words, she assumed he was finished with her. She brushed the tears from her eyes and tried to roll away from him.

“Not so fast, little one.” The tenderness in his deep voice calmed her. He nuzzled her ear. “My word is broken. There is nothing to keep you from me now. This time it's your turn,” he whispered, and she groaned as she felt his warm lips move to cover hers once more.

Tenderly he kissed her lips, her eyes, her cheeks, the tip of her nose, then moved back to her lips. He used his tongue deliciously, to explore every corner, every line of her mouth. As bruised and battered as she felt, her body began to respond. She allowed herself to enjoy his tender ministrations. He ran a finger between her breasts, then cupped each one fully. He bent his head to kiss the flesh above her nipple, then covered the peak with his mouth. His tongue sent shivers of delight through her body and a fresh surge of desire.

Mandy felt possessed. All the yearnings, all the forbidden delights were happening to her now. Her whole body ached with wanting this man. She could never have imagined the overwhelming need one human being could have for another.

Hawk sensed her desire for him, and it inflamed his passions even more. With a supreme effort he held himself back, willing himself to go slow. With aching control, he continued to teach her the pleasures of love. He kissed every part of her trembling flesh, then entered her slowly, lovingly, savoring the warm, silky feel of her. He'd been with many women in his life, but he'd never experienced the intensity of emotion and desire he felt with this one. The thought surprised and distressed him. He brushed it aside. Now was not the time for recriminations. Tomorrow would be soon enough for that.

Moving faster and faster within his silken cocoon, Hawk felt the girl stiffen and call out his name. She trembled with pleasure beneath him. Pleased, he gave himself up to his own passions.

Mandy was spiraling down from a cloud of ecstasy. Wave
after wave of delight washed over her, rippling through her body, depleting her, yet filling her with a kind of awe. She felt the tension in Hawk's body, and her instincts told her his release, too, was near. In that moment, nothing mattered but her love for him. Love. She could admit it now. She loved him. It was all that mattered. She coiled her fingers in his thick soft hair and pulled him closer. His firm cheek nestled beside hers, his lips just brushing her shoulder.

“Wishana, my love,” he whispered just before he relaxed against her, so softly she almost didn't hear it.

Her eyes closed in agony. Oh God, how she wished she hadn't. Her heart twisted in her breast, her anguish deeper than she thought she could bear.

Hawk pulled her closer, enfolding her in the circle of his strong arms. They lay together, spent and entwined.

Mandy shivered as an icy tentacle of despair wrapped around her heart. A single tear slipped from the corner of her eye.

L
emon-yellow rays, fresh and warm, peeked through the ruffled curtains and crept into Mandy's eyes. She awoke with a start, her eyes darting from the rosewood furniture to the arched canopy above her bed. Myriad emotions hit her hard and fast. She was in Virginia City, a thousand miles from home, in bed with a man—and no longer a virgin. A hot flush burned her cheeks as she recalled the night before, the strange and wonderful sensations, the warmth of Hawk's touch. Her thoughts darkened. What new epithets would he hurl at her today? She recalled the way her body had responded and her flush deepened. Her mind replayed the scene with crystal clarity, from the violent beginning, through the gentleness—to the rage of tingling, furiously pleasurable feelings at the end. He had taken something precious from her last night but had given her something in return. She admitted to herself she had no regrets, no matter what the consequences.

She felt a small stab of pain in her heart, remembering how he had called for Wishana.
Wishana.
Such a lovely name. Mandy wondered again who the woman could be, and another wave of pain assailed her. If only he'd been thinking of her instead.

She rolled onto her side and for the first time sensed she
was being watched. A feeling of dread gnawed at her.
What did he think of her? What cruel remarks would he make?

Hawk could easily read the troubled expression in the lovely green eyes. He reached out a hand and lifted her exquisite chin, wishing he could reassure her, yet unwilling to risk the consequences, unwilling to give her a greater power over him than she already had. Instead, he kissed the side of her neck and nibbled the petal-like ear. A thousand comforting phrases came to mind, but he staunchly refused to utter them.

“Don't look so troubled, little one,” he whispered instead. “It had to happen sometime. I'm sorry it happened as it did . . . but at least we both enjoyed it.”

Mandy felt a tremor at his touch, but the words he spoke didn't match the gentleness of his hand. How could he sound so casual? She'd expected recriminations, derision, name-calling, but not indifference. It seemed, somehow, even more devastating.

“You certainly sound nonchalant for a man who just raped the governor's daughter,” she threw at him, hoping to elicit some response. She suddenly felt used, betrayed.

“Raped! I admit I took some liberties in the beginning,” he conceded, “but you certainly acted as if you enjoyed it.” He was beginning to get angry. He already felt guilty for seducing the girl, to say nothing of breaking his word of honor. But one thing was certain—she'd wanted him as much as he'd wanted her.

Mandy felt her fury building.
How dare he use her so cruelly, then try to put the blame on her!
She pulled the sheet up to cover her bare breasts, but Hawk was covered only to the waist, exposing his broad chest and muscular shoulders.
Mandy felt a shiver of desire for him and hated herself for her weakness.