Authors: Gwyneth Bolton
“Can we sit down and have this talk? My legs aren’t what they used to be.” Sophie’s shoulders seemed to sag a little as she dropped her arms to her sides.
She followed Sophie to the living room and sat down. For the first time since she’d met the woman, Sophie actually looked sorry.
They took seats on Sophie’s pink-and-green floral Queen Anne furniture, and Samantha made sure she held Sophie’s gaze. After several minutes, Sophie looked away.
“I’m sorry,” Sophie mumbled.
Samantha squinted but kept looking at Sophie. “What? I didn’t hear you.”
“I’m sorry! For what it’s worth, it wasn’t about you, really. You actually seem like a decent girl, unlike that gutter trash Penny and that common sister-in-law of mine. In fact, if Celia didn’t like you so much, I might not have been so against you, but she did like you, and that made you my enemy.”
Incredulous and stunned beyond belief, Samantha opened her mouth and closed it again several times before responding.
“This is crazy. Why do you hate your sister-in-law so much? What did she do to you to make you want to make everyone miserable?”
“She’s a backstabbing slut who used her relationship with me to snag herself a man of stature, a Hightower.” Sophie sat up straight in her chair then and her eyes took on a hateful glare.
“She was a little nothing in the street who I tried to mentor as a part of my sorority’s outreach program many years ago. I encouraged her to go to college and exposed her to the finer qualities of life, and she repaid me by causing my only brother, my baby brother, to marry beneath himself.”
Samantha blinked. She could hear the hurt in Sophie’s voice and she could tell the woman thought she really had legitimate reasons for terrorizing people. She could also tell the woman needed more help than she could ever give her.
“From what I can tell, Celia Hightower is a good woman. She’s sweet and treats everyone with kindness.”
She tolerated your hatefulness for years, so that makes her a saint in my book.
Samantha took a deep breath. “I really hope that your misplaced grudge hasn’t cost me my career. I sacrificed a lot to get to where I am today.” She thought about her relationship with her mother and bit back her tears. Taking a deep breath, she willed herself to be strong.
“But I can tell you what I won’t sacrifice—my feelings for Joel. That man is the best thing to ever happen to me, and I intend to remain a part of his life, job or no job.”
She had to shake her head and grin at that one, as much as she had been touting professionalism a few months ago, she would have never thought she would reach a point where she could even utter the words,
job or no job.
“Are you finished, young lady?” Sophie reared up in her seat as if she had the right to be indignant.
And Samantha had to bring her back down.
“No! I am not! But I only have a few more things to add. I just lost my mother, and thanks to you, I may very well lose my job. If that happens, I can’t promise that I won’t
totally
lose it and come looking for you.” She paused for effect. “What
you
need to do is stay as far away from me as you can. I’m not Celia. I don’t have her patience or her grace—”
“
Celia
and
grace
shouldn’t even be mentioned in the same sentence. Anyway, you don’t have to worry about me coming around. That
woman
—and I use the word loosely—has finally managed to turn my brother against me and I am no longer welcome in their home—a home I grew up in, my family home, all because I’m the only one who doesn’t hold her tongue and says what needs to be said.”
“You just don’t get it, do you?” Samantha eyed Sophie incredulously. “Life is too short to carry around this kind of negativity. You need to let all that stuff go. Do you want to die bitter and alone because you’ve run your family away? My mother…” She closed her eyes and cursed as the tears started to fall.
She thought of her weak mother lying in the hospital bed and her horrendous death. She opened her eyes and wiped the tears away. At least she had made it back so that her mother’s last minutes weren’t alone.
She looked at Sophie and she thought she saw a hint of kindness in her eyes.
“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry to hear about your mother. I hear she died from complications due to alcoholism. Is that true?”
Samantha arched her right eyebrow.
Lord. Give. Me. Strength.
“Because those kinds of addictions tend to be genetic…” Sophie studied her and gave one of her snobbish sniffs.
Samantha tilted her head and leaned forward. “I don’t drink.”
“And you shouldn’t, given your family history. I’m thinking about the implications if, God forbid, my nephew decides to marry you and you have children. We really can’t have future Hightowers running around here with such high potential for chemical addictions. I mean, really…Penny’s mother, Carla, was a former crack addict, your mother was an alcoholic…You’re a smart girl. You can see why I worry. I’m not doing this to be mean or hateful. I’m thinking about my family’s legacy—a legacy that depends on the women that the men in this family choose to wed…Trust me, we lucked out that I was there to help out with Patrick, Lawrence, Joel and Jason. I won’t be here for the next generation.”
If she hadn’t just come back from burying her mother, she would have thanked the Lord that Sophie wouldn’t be around for the next generation, but no matter how much the woman tested her Christianity, she was not going to let Sophie Hightower take her there.
“You know what, Sophie? I’m gonna pray for you.” Samantha got up and started walking toward the door.
“Pray for me? I go to church every Sunday. I’m the head of the deaconess board at Mt. Zion Baptist.” There was no holding back Sophie’s indignation now.
“Mmm, hmm. So, I guess you missed the part about not bearing false witness and not lying in the Ten Commandments? I’m going to pray that you start living the word you get every Sunday in church.” She turned and looked Sophie up and down before opening the door. “Stay blessed.” She let herself out.
When she got downstairs, Joel was waiting for her in the lobby. Seeing him and knowing he had her back let her know that she could face anything the future brought, even a million Aunt Sophies. Joel and the love she felt for him made everything worthwhile and right. Even finally letting go of the fear that his dangerous job might cause her to lose him in the future. None of that mattered when she factored in the love they felt for one another.
“I was about to come up there and check on you.” Joel wrapped her in his strong arms and planted a loving kiss on her lips. “How did it go?”
“It went like it went. I do realize that your aunt has more issues than I could ever hope to combat, and I also realize how your mother tolerated her for so long.” She smiled as she noted the puzzled expression that crossed his face.
“Really? Well, you can fill me in on that one, because I honestly have no clue.”
“Celia isn’t going to let that woman steal her joy or stop her from having the man she loved, and neither am I.”
“S
o, you’re saying I won’t be able to go back to work fighting fires?”
The doctors—both the fire department’s representative, Dr. Moore, and his own, Dr. Lardner—sat across from Joel after an extensive exam, bearing news he didn’t want to hear.
“The damage to your spine was extensive, and while your surgeries and therapy worked to greatly increase your quality of life, I’m afraid I can’t recommend that you return to the fire department in the same capacity, no. You need a stronger, healthier back to even wear the heavy uniform required. Not to mention the lifting that you’d have to do in the job. Your back just isn’t there yet, and frankly, I’m not sure it ever will be there again.” Dr. Moore looked him in the eyes and kept his stare firm.
“Quality of life! Are you kidding me? What kind of quality of life will I have if I can’t go back to work?” Joel bit his words out angrily.
This was unbelievable, all the hard work, all the hopes and prayers, for what? Nothing. What a rip-off. He glared at Dr. Lardner. “You said if I worked hard, there might be a chance!”
“I said there
might
be. Joel, you do have a chance at a normal life without severe handicap. Do you realize how many—” Dr. Lardner started.
“I want my life back!” Joel pounded his fist on the table.
Didn’t they understand? It was like they were telling him he wasn’t good enough. That he was no longer man enough…
Maybe he wasn’t. He shook his head. He needed air.
He felt tears of anger moisten his eyes.
Great!
All he needed to make the total loss of his masculinity complete was to start bawling like a baby, but that was how he felt. Just like a neglected child crying out for help.
When you’ve done everything you were supposed to do and can’t get what you want, then what?
“What am I supposed to do now?” His voice didn’t even sound the same to his ears. It sounded weak, and it made him even angrier.
“Joel, you can still work for the fire department. You can work in investigation, forensics—” Dr. Moore started.
“I don’t want a desk job. I want my life back….” His words filtered off as he realized he had said that already. He’d said it and had gotten no response. It wasn’t going to happen.
He felt like screaming, but it wouldn’t have done a bit of good.
“Just forget it, Docs. Sorry for wasting your time.”
He got into his car and drove until he couldn’t drive any more, and then he ended up at his old firehouse. He sat outside, watching the building for longer than he would have ever admitted to anyone.
He remembered what it used to feel like—the rush, the desire to help others, the adrenaline, the thrill. It took everything in him not to break down and cry.
Suspended.
Well, at least it was with pay. That was the only bright side of an increasingly gloomy situation. Until Samantha’s supervisor’s investigated the complaints of prostitution made against her, Samantha would still be able to get a paycheck. She had no worries that they would find any evidence of prostitution. It just stung her Sophie had been able to cause so much havoc. At least she still had her job, though.
Thank God for small favors. She had no idea how she would have reacted to coming back from burying her mother and finding out the glorious job she had loved and had used as an excuse not to move back to Chicago when her mother was alive was no longer hers.
And then there were her feelings for Joel. The same Joel who was meeting with his doctors to find out if his back had healed enough for him to go back to work. Between the fate of her own career and his career, in a sense their entire relationship was hanging in the balance.
It was all she could do not to yank her hair out at the roots. Lord knows she’d been tugging and pulling at her twists with worry and angst all afternoon.
Joel was supposed to have been here hours ago. The only thing she could think was he’d found out he could return to the fire department and went out celebrating with his firemen friends. She practiced smiling and looking happy while she waited. Would she be able to smile and say, “Baby, that’s wonderful,” if he came in with news his doctors had given him the okay to go back to work?
In her opinion, it would be a mistake for him to go back in the same capacity he had been serving. The heavy uniform alone would tax his back beyond its limits, and God forbid if he had to carry anyone out of a fire, but she couldn’t tell if that was Samantha the girlfriend’s or Samantha the physical therapist’s opinion.
This is why one should not date one’s patients,
she chastised herself.
Oh, well, too late to worry about that now. The lines are forever blurred where Joel Hightower is concerned.
The knock on the door broke her out of her reverie. When she answered it, she found Joel standing there. She hoped she would be able to be the kind of woman he deserved after the way he stood by her side. She prayed that God gave her the strength to stand by her man, dangerous job and all.
After driving around for hours, he ended where he was supposed to be. The only thing was, the news he’d gotten this afternoon made him question if he was
really
supposed to be there. What kind of man would he be for her now? What kind of life could he give her?
“Hey…you.” Samantha studied him carefully as he entered her apartment.
He could tell by her careful gaze she must have been worried about him.
“Hey, sweetheart.” He couldn’t help it. He had to touch her, so he pulled her into his arms and hugged her.
Big mistake. How was he supposed to let her go now?
He followed her into her living room.
“Well, my doctor said my back has improved immensely, and I know I owe that all to you.”
“No. You did the work. I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks, but even with all that work, I’m still not going to be able to return to firefighting, at least not in the capacity that I’m used to. They offered me a chance to train and take the test for the inspection division, a desk job.” He might as well go work for his father. He would do that before he took a desk job with the fire department.
“That could be nice. You’d be able to help with things like arson, and I know it’s not what you wanted to hear, baby, but…”
“You don’t get it. This back problem has stolen everything from me. I feel like half a man, and you don’t need half a man. So maybe we should quit this while we’re ahead.”
She frowned and stared at him for a minute before shaking her head.
His eyes started to glaze over, and he again willed himself to hold it together. No matter how low he felt, he didn’t want to leave her with the image of him breaking down.
“What do you mean ‘quit this while we’re ahead?’” She placed her hands on her hips and struck the black woman akimbo battle pose.
“I’m saying you deserve better and I have to be man enough to let you go so you can have it.” His shoulders slouched, and he didn’t even try to straighten them.
The heaviness in his head as he tried to grapple with the loss of his job and the heaviness in his heart as he tried to man up and let Samantha go wouldn’t allow for straight-back postures or cool poses. His form reflected how he felt. There was nothing he could do about it.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I thought I’d be getting my job back and I’d be able to be the man you deserve—” he started.
“I. Know. You. Didn’t.” The pain and anger in her voice chilled him to the bone. “I know you didn’t just sit in my living room, after making me fall in love with your behind and tell me we should just quit this. Did the doctors give you some crazy dust or something with their diagnosis? Because you must have lost your mind, coming in here running this foolishness by me.”
“I can’t even make love to you the way I want to. I can’t—”
She cut him off with a quickness and a roll of the neck for good measure. “Do you see me complaining? You’re the best lover I’ve ever had and have blown my mind and stolen my heart, you idiot! And if your job as a fireman is that important to you, then I will work with you until your back is strong enough for you to go back.”
“Idiot? Hey, that’s not nice—”
“Well, as you have been fond of telling me,
I ain’t nothing nice!
I have to keep it real with you, and on the real, you have my heart. You can’t just throw it back at me without a good cussing out.”
Tears started to fall down her cheeks. He remembered what his father said about not being able to take his mother’s tears. If his father felt even a tenth of what he felt like seeing Samantha cry, then he knew why his father felt that way. He couldn’t bear to see the moisture pool in her beautiful brown eyes and then flow down her lovely face. And knowing that she was crying because of him made it all the worse.
He wrapped his arms around her, and she pushed him away.
“Don’t cry, sweetheart. Please. I’m sorry. You’re right. I’m an idiot. Just don’t cry. It breaks my heart.” Suddenly the pain that he felt about not being able to fight fires moved to the background. While he still felt hurt, he really wanted to do what he could to make things right for Samantha. That meant more than anything else.
That was love.
“Good. You should be feeling what I’m feeling right now. Do you know I’ve been sitting here for hours waiting for you and practicing how I was going to look happy for you when you told me you were going back to your dangerous job?” She choked her words out in a sob. “Even though it would probably kill me if something were to happen to you, I would be willing to risk it because I love you and I want you happy.”
He pulled her into his arms and kissed away her tears. “I’m sorry.” He covered her mouth and felt a clarity he hadn’t felt in months.
He hadn’t fought a fire in ages, but he’d had all the fire and passion a man’s heart could stand for the past three months.
She kissed him back aggressively. It was as if she was placing everything she felt in the kiss.
He led her back into the bedroom and stood in awe as she literally ripped off his clothes. Her passion invigorated him, and he found himself ripping off her clothing, as well. He grabbed a condom before they tumbled to the bed and he crept up behind her. He placed his hands on the bed on either side of her and slightly flexed his upper torso over her back. He slowly entered the slick welcoming heat of her womanhood.
Samantha couldn’t stifle the moan as Joel filled her. How could he even question how he made her feel? And how dare he try and take this away from her after showing her what making love with her heart fully involved felt like?
She moved her hips back slowly, savoring the thick length of his manhood as he stroked her steadily, with strength unparalleled. She moved forward then back, forward then back; hips undulating, rocking and going in circles.
Oh, yes.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. Please forgive me.” He trailed soft kisses down her back.
Each power-filled stroke after that sent her spiraling closer and closer to splendor. Every place on her body seemed to tighten until she thought she would explode, and then it happened.
“Baby, I’m so, so sorry…I love you.” Joel’s words pierced her soul and blocked out all her pain, fear and doubt.
“Ohh…Joel!”
“Yes, sweetheart. I love you so much. Come for me, baby.”
He reached his arm around to her front and flicked the bud in her dripping center back and forth. Gently twisting and rubbing it in circles.
“Come for me, Samantha. You know you want to.”
She felt her sex squeeze and pull at him as if it were grasping for its last meal. She tightened and tightened over and over until she heard Joel scream out.
“I love you, sweetheart.”
“I love you, too.”
As she waited for Joel to come back from getting rid of the protection, she tried to get a hold of her emotions.
He was actually going to break up with her over nonsense.
Calm down, girl. He came to his senses.
He walked back into the bedroom and sat on the bed. “So, you finally realized that you love a brother, huh?”
He had that sexy little smile on his face and that devilish and playful gleam in his eyes.
She shook her head and crossed her arms across her chest.
Oh, no, Hightower, you’re going to have to come with more than the I’m-so-charming-and-irresistible routine.
“So what if I do love you? You’re willing to throw it all away because of some misguided notion you have about…what exactly, Joel? I mean, I’m your physical therapist. I knew what your back problems were when I got involved with you, against my better judgment, and I put my career and my heart on the line, for what?”
He leaned over and kissed her. She gobbled up each stroke of his tongue, each caress of his lips and moaned for more.
But it won’t be that easy, either, baby boy….
She pulled away. “So, if you want to leave me, leave.”
“I don’t want to leave you. I want to marry you. I want to make you my wife, and I want you to be the mother of my children.”
Well, now that might work….
“So, will you?” He had a pleading expression on his face and that loving gleam in his eyes.
“Will I what?”
“Will you marry me? I realize you mean more to me than fighting fires. Sweetheart, please say yes.”
“Okay, yes.”
He kissed her, softly, gently.
“You know, I think I fell in love with you the first time I saw you, too, before I even got to know you, when you were lying in the hospital emergency room and they were flashing that handsome heroic grill of yours all over the news. I made up this sweet, sexy, funny, caring guy to go with that picture, and I fell in love with him, and even though it took a long time after we met for that guy to surface, I still loved him. He really is you, and I love you…so much….”