Making Choices (Black Shamrocks MC Book 2) (27 page)

Fisting my hair at my nape, he arches my back, angling himself into me deeper. His rhythm is erratic, beads of sweat rolling down his chest, the feral sounds he makes adding an extra element to our carnal joining.

This is the most animalistic sex I’ve ever had.

My core pulses, my desire throttling to a new high as I hurtle toward another orgasm. It’s too much, my body unable to cope with another climax so soon. I ride the peak, unwilling to fall over the edge. The agony of having it so close is unbearable, but I’m scared of reaching the pinnacle.

My body is overexcited. Overwrought. Overwhelmed.

I’m afraid I’m going to shatter into a million pieces if I come again.

“Timber. It’s too much. I can’t...”  I’m panting, panic taking hold of me when I feel like I’m about to pass out. My eyes roll back in my head when he grinds his thumb against my clit, forcing me into the orgasm I’m scared to have.

As I come, I’m vaguely aware of Lucas pulling out of me, gripping his hard, angry, fiery red cock in his hand as he jerks himself off, wet splashes of his cum landing on my stomach and my breasts. Feeling as if I’m floating above my own body, I watch as he rubs his release over me.

Marking me as his.

“Fucking hell,” I mutter.

My inner thighs twitch sporadically, my pussy convulses when my legs begin shaking. I’m having aftershocks. “I think you broke my pussy.”

Laying his big frame over me, he kisses me gently before falling onto his side. Wrapping his arms around me, he pulls me into him, his chest rumbling as he laughs.

It’s the happiest sound I’ve heard from him in months.

Weakly slapping at his arm, my own laughter breaks free. We lie on his bed laughing together like a pair of idiots, a fresh round of laughter commencing every time my inner thighs start shaking again.

It takes a while, but eventually I stop quivering.

Pushing against his shoulders, I roll him onto his back and lay on top of him, nestling my face into his neck. His heavy arms settle across the small of my back, holding me to him.

I’ve never felt this close to anyone in my entire life.

It feels good.

I feel good.

JJ

Present Day

S
omeone needs to shut up that infernal beeping. It’s grating on my nerves.

Sighing when it stops, I roll over, seeking the warmth I was nestled against before the annoying noise disrupted me.

“Doll, wake up. Do you have work today?”

Lucas shakes me awake, startling me from my deep sleep.

Blinking slowly, I take in my surroundings. I’m tucked under the covers in his bed, snuggled under his arm, lying on what I’ve come to think of as my side of his bed. I don’t remember falling asleep last night, or being tucked into his bed.

He must have taken care of me.

The last thing I can recall is lying on his chest thinking about how good it feels to have him as mine.

Stretching in an effort to rouse myself, I hiss when my body screams in pain.

Pressing my thighs together because most of the aching is centered down there, I’m surprised by the tenderness between them. I’ve never been this sore after sex.

Bits and pieces of last night flood my mind as I begin to wake completely.

My cheeks heat, and I flip the covers over my face to hide.

He called me a masochist.

He said he loved me.

What the hell did I let him do to me last night?

“Don’t do this, JJ. You loved every fucking minute of it last night.
Own it
. Don’t turn it into something wrong.” Pulling the blanket back, he leans on his elbow, looking down at me. “I love seeing my marks on you.”

Smiling, he runs his hand over my neck, and then down between my breasts. Lowering the covers as he goes, he doesn’t stop until he’s between my legs. I let them fall open when he runs his finger down my core.

“Nice and red.”

Lifting my head, I look down. My inner thighs are rosy red, big handprints visible. My pubic mound is a shade or two darker than my legs.

Holy hell
. I loved it at the time, but it’s kind of troubling to look at the morning after.

Pulling his hand away, I slam my legs shut.

“Far out, Lucas. You’ve left bruises on me.”

Climbing from his bed, I run for the bathroom.

I need to see where else he’s marked me. My face is unmarked, my cheeks sporting a healthy glow, my eyes bright. My hair is everywhere, knotty and sticking out in all directions, definitely not matching the rest of my “just fucked” look.

Standing on my tiptoes so I can see more of my body in the mirror, I gasp when I take in my reflection.

My shoulder has light bruising and my neck is bright red. Pushing against the bruise on my shoulder, my clit throbs when I remember Lucas sinking his teeth into me last night. I’m going to need to wear a scarf to work
for days—
my red neck is a dead giveaway of what I’ve been up to.

Glancing down the rest of my body, I find fingerprints on my hips. Craning my neck, first one way and then the next, I check out my ass. It’s as red as my neck, and tender to touch when I poke at it.

I’m running my hand over my neck when Lucas struts into the bathroom completely naked. He smiles at me as he stands behind me. Pushing my hand out of the way, he nibbles at my neck as he palms my breasts.

“You might wanna have a shower before work. You’ve got my jizz all over ya—”

Slapping me lightly on the ass, he grins at me when I gasp at the impact and jump away from him. Rubbing my hands down the front of me, I can’t feel anything stuck to me.

Shaking my head, I give up trying to find it. I forgot about him coming all over me last night.

Last night was definitely a night for firsts.

First time I’ve ever had sex like that.

First time a man said he loved me.

First time I’ve slept with cum all over me.

Two of the three make me smile.

“I’m joking. I wiped you down when I put you to bed.” He laughs at me as he turns the shower on. “Thought you’d appreciate it.”

“I do. Thank you,” I drawl, heavy on the sarcasm.

Holding his hand under the water to test the temperature, he motions for me to step into the shower before him.

The hot water is exactly what I need.

Tilting my head back, I let it cascade over my face. The skin on my ass stings a little from the water, but it’s not intolerable. Lucas steps into the shower behind me, his broad frame filling the small space. It’s a tight squeeze, but we manage.

Washing each other silently, we tease each other with little touches. This is the most comfortable we’ve been around each other. I’m loath to disrupt it, but I want to ask him about what happened at the hospital yesterday, and about what he said last night.

And to set him straight about most of it.

“You called me a masochist?” I blurt my first question without preamble. I don’t know why, out of everything, it’s the most pressing issue—it just is.

Running his hands down his wet beard as he rinses it, he shrugs at me.

“Why did you say that?” I press him for an answer.

“Because that’s what you are.”

Turning his back on me, he shuts the water off. I grab his arm when he tries to walk out of the cubicle. “No, I’m not. I’ve never done that before.”

My voice is frantic, trying to convince him.

Convince myself?

“JJ, chill the fuck out.” He shakes my hand off his arm. “
One time, a hundred times.
Doesn’t make a fucking difference. You are what you are. You get off on pain, you like to be forced, humiliated. To what level, we’ll find out next time we—”

“There won’t be a next time. I’m not one of
them
,” I cut him off, waving my hand when I can’t make myself say the word he called me again. I follow him out of the shower, amped up, and ready for a fight if he disagrees with me.

As much as I enjoyed it, it’s not a normal way to enjoy sex.

I can’t do it again.

Look at me—red marks and bruises all over me.

“We’ll see.” Wrapping a towel around his waist, he passes a spare one to me. “You can’t just shove it back in its box once you’ve let it out. Fuck knows I’ve tried.”

My eyebrows draw together at his words. I’m confused.

“What do you mean?” 

“You might think you don’t get off on pain, but I sure as fuck get off on giving it. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good vanilla fuck, but nothing gets my blood singing more than a good session like we had last night. Fucking hell, Doll. I thought we were on the same page for once.”

“We are. I think—” My words die on my tongue, a horrible thought crossing my mind. “Does this mean you’re a dominant? Are you going to try and turn me into your submissive?”

“Oh, fuck me dead.” Breathing through his nose, Lucas draws in a deep breath and holds it. Slowly, he blows it through his mouth. “This isn’t Fifty fucking Shades of Grey. I’m a fucking biker. A biker with a fucking sadistic sexual streak. Sometimes I just want a good fucking fight while I fuck. I wanna see my handprint on your ass. Watch your fear duel with desire in your eyes when I’m slamming my cock into you.”

Ripping his towel from around his waist, he dries his hair with it.

Throwing it on the floor, he leaves me in the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him. Bracing my hands on the basin, I stare at my reflection as I rehash what he just said.

It’s a lot to take in.

Thinking back over last night, I remember how every atom of my body felt like it was on fire. My core tingles just thinking about it. I can feel his hands around my neck, his teeth in my shoulder as I buck underneath him. My nipple pebble into tight buds when I think about the dangerous glint in his eyes when I fought with him, slapping his face, trying to push him away from me. My fear spiked my adrenaline, even as I enjoyed every single second of his rough treatment.

Staring at my flushed face in the mirror, I remember how I felt lying on him afterwards, more content than I’ve been in my entire life.

He has a sadistic sexual streak.

I’m a masochist who gets off on pain.

Damn.

Wandering into his bedroom after I’ve dried myself and found my composure, regret grips me when I find him sitting fully dressed on the edge of his bed.

His head in his hands, he stares at the floor.

“So I guess this is it then? I’m too much of a fucking freak for you?”

Gripping both of his shoulders, I have to use all of my strength to push him upright, so I can climb onto his lap. He fists his hands on either side of him, refusing to touch me.

Winding my hands through his hair, I pull his head up so he’s looking at me.

“I have three more questions.”

Closing his eyes, he keeps them shut for a moment, before opening them.

Fear shines from the icy-blue depths.
He thinks this is the end.

“What happened with Amy? What about your feelings for Maddi? You said you love me. Were you just caught in the moment, or did you mean it?”

“That’s four questions.”

“Don’t be a dick. Answer me,” I snap, my frustration boiling over.

“I can’t, JJ. Not now.” Scrubbing his hands over his face, he turns stricken eyes to me. “It doesn’t affect us. It’s ancient fucking history.”

“Lucas, please. You know my stuff.”

“Doll, not fucking now! I can’t—”

Clutching him to me, his pain is too much for me to bear, I change tack. “Soon please? If it upsets you this much, then it affects us, whether you like it or not
.
What about my other questions? You can answer them, can’t you?”

“I don’t know. That’s the fucking truth. I’m working on my shit with Princess. She’s not interested. Told me to pull my head outta my ass and get over it. I’m fucking trying.”

It’s impossible to describe the feeling that assails me at his words. Elation tinged with worry, that’s the best I can do. Half a dozen extra questions pop into my mind, but I keep them to myself.

I’ve pushed him far enough today—I can tell.

Is he certain Maddi doesn’t want him?

He wants me—I’m sure he does. But
more
than he wants Maddi?

What made him pick me?

Was the baby my trump card?

Can I live with being the one he picked because the one he wanted wasn’t interested?

The final of my three questions is one that I have to voice.

I need to know before I make my choice.

“What you said last night? Did you mean it?”

“I meant it. Didn’t mean to say it right then, but I fucking meant it.”

Staring at me, his eyes roaming my face as he attempts to gauge my reaction, I run my fingers through his hair as I find the courage to respond.

“I love you too.” Eyes widening, he grabs my ass and pulls me to him.

Our lips meet halfway, both of us seeking the other, tongues tangling as we finally accept each other for what we are.

Fucked up, and pretty perfect for each other.

***

C
lapping erupts when we walk into the bar of the Clubhouse half an hour later, finally sated.

I stop in my tracks, and he runs into my back.