Maniacs in The Fourth Dimension (21 page)

''Why are you
still thinking about that?!'', said Hubert: ''Who ever coined those
lyrics was obviously high on fumes. They don't mean anything! The
whole thing is just a stage show, with fire and choir of hidden
children. I proved her fake.''

''She said you will be broken
and fooled.''

''It didn't even rhyme!''

''It doesn't have to
rhyme!''

I have to interrupt their
bickering.

''So, Marco,
does this mean that you are stopping your hunt for the
bidsprinkhaan?''

''I will never stop.''

''How about taking us home, and
then continuing the hunt?'', said Hubert.

''As soon as
en convenient crack opens, I will take you back. Until then, we
must use de cracks that are around us.''

''I will stop at nothing!'', exclaimed he, when I asked him
is this the end of our pursuit of titans and primordial monsters,
and we drove on, against the wind, and against the
prophecy...

Chapter sixty

I don't know
who did they kill to get so mighty, but Lempo literally opened a
portal with his hands, and we stepped into the three sixty two. I'm
standing in front of the wall that surrounds the fort of
Scaramouche. It's at least thirty feet high, and goes on for miles
on both sides from where I am. I saw several checkpoint entrances,
with Arab peddlers around selling sodas, and silk, and stuff. I
guess they need to make money to support all those wives. Turkish
delight.

''Nah, man, I'm broke...''

They don't
speak any English. I guess they don't need it here. According to
Kayla, behind these walls are the only natural wormholes that lead
to the next level. Personal property of Scaramouche.

Them three
went walking along the wall, I told them that if I see Laszlo, I'll
tell him that they're lookin' for him. They're looking for you to
kill you. Because you're armed and dangerous. Because you need to
be evil, so they could live on their fantasy of heroism. Well, who
else motherfucker, everyone else is dead. Because you drank my
coconut juice! I needed it for bushwackers! Nobody's asking you,
you're the villain now. Because you're strange.

Bullshit.

You wanna
hear something really strange? Strange and true. About the word
Afrikaners use for the praying mantis.
Hottentotsgot
. God of the
Hottentots. Hottentots being their word for local black people,
who, for some reason, thought that mantis is god. How could anyone
believe that something so ugly is god? Nature couldn't create a
creature more disgusting. It eats those it fucks. And still, every
time I see one, I get a boner. I can't shoot off, without thinking
about them. Something went very wrong with me when I was a kid. TV
did this to me, TV and all its evils. It conditioned me. Wait,
someone looking at me. A white guy, with a big-ass camera 'round
his neck, and hands in his pockets. I didn't notice when he
appeared. He doesn't strike me as a Russian, he's curly, has a
goatee.

''Hey, man'', I said.

''Hey, what's up!''

One of ours. I shook his
hand.

''Jove
Mansell.''

''Squid Humbolt.''

''Are you like a journalist, or
a reporter, or somethin'?''

''Yeah, I
wish'', he laughed: ''Nah, I'm just taking photos of this place.
This here is the apex, the furthest reach of human beings. It cost
me time and money to get here. You're the first anglophone that
I've seen around. Are you here for the happening?''

''No. I'm here with some
friends. We're looking for someone.''

''I thought that maybe some
source independent from mine brought you here with the same
conclusion.''

''What conclusion?''

''That this
here is the plain of Armageddon, from Revelation of John. That this
is the place where it will begin, the end of the
world.''

''And you
know this how?''

''Well, I have come into
possession of some ancient lost documents.''

He took some bundle of papers
out of his bag, and showed them to me.

''This here
is a copy of Commentary on Revelation of John, by unknown author,
it shunned all the metaphors of the Revelation itself, and
proceeded with factual description of endtimes. It's filled with
precise informations, it brought me here, I didn't translate it
into English yet, there was no time.''

He took another bundle of papers
from his bag.

''This is the
Testament of St. Cassian, in which he speaks about last days, and
about the tsar from the east. I translated some parts, listen: 'In
those times of plagues, in the far Russian mountains, a young man
will appear, by the name of Elijah. People will be at wonder with
him, how he walks the heavens, and he will go to the first
monastery, and toll all the monastery bells. To people gathered
around him, he will say: -You have forgotten me, and that I never
died, but went to heaven alive-. And people will say to him: -We
didn't, you are Elijah-.' A clear reference to
Scaramouche.''

''So,
Scaramouche is actually the prophet Elijah?''

''Incarnation of him, yes.''

''You don't think that he is,
according to some stories, cloned Mumford Archibald Morse?''

''Who?! No, I never heard any
such stories. They're groundless.''

''So, when is this end of the
world going to happen?''

''I'm surprised that it didn't
happen already. Who knows, maybe it begins today.''

''Why aren't you running scared
then, as far as you can from here?''

''I've been
chasing this for far too long to run away from it when it happens.
No, I'm gonna be right here with my camera.''

''And I thought I was
strange.''

''When you look at it from that
perspective, I know it looks stupid.''

''And from what perspective am I
suppose to look at it?''

''From the
perspective that for once, I was right about something. That I was
first, and maybe the only.''

''That's fucked up, bro.''

''Is it? I
can't tell anymore. All I know is that the name of Squid Humbolt
will go down in history, before the names of quack prophets and
sibyls of this world. I actually went to see her, you
know.''

''See who?''

''The Sibyl.
The last one that still operates. I came to her with the
informations I gathered, expecting that she will show some interest
in me, but she just responed in a meaningless quatrain. Quack
fortune-teller. Laterwards, someone told me that she is the wife of
Haroun Garmonbozia, and that the whole oracle is his latest
fraud.''

I'm having
serious problems in following his story.

''Name doesn't ring a
bell.''

''Haroun
Garmonbozia? He's from our world, that's the guy behind the book
'Toys of the elders of Zion'. In it, a jewish TV producer,
discloses how he, together with other jewish parties, invented a
concept of reality shows, as a form of psychological warfare
against the Muslims. Book sold very well, although everything in it
was obvious fabrication. Garmonbozia is in fact, an Egyptian Copt,
not a Jew.''

He's making my head spin.

''I was staring at you, because
of your shirt. I used to have a shirt like that.''

''Actually, it's not mine, one
girl gave it to me, just yesterday.''

The look on
his face changed. Have I said something wrong?

''I see you've met Kayla. It's
my shirt you're wearin'.''

I'll be damned.

''You're Jeff!''

''How small
the world gets, despite so many levels. How is she?''

''She's waiting tables at this
restaurant where Scaramouche's soldiers go.''

''Does she
have anyone? Besides drifters that she's giving my clothes
to?''

The Revelation of Jove upset
him.

''No. She's alone, and angry at
you, and still wonderful and kind, wasting her days in that
shithole, because you're chasing prophecies.''

''Look
dude,
I don't know what she told you, but
it wasn't me that quit on her, she quit on me.''

''I don't
want to play smart, or anything, but she followed you through over
three hundred dimensions, didn't she? I just think that a girl like
that deserves a closure, you can give her that much.''

''She'll
probably spit me in the face when she sees me.''

''Or kiss you. You can't spell
sex without...''

''Are those your friends?''

They've returned.

''Laszlo's not here'', Lempo
said: ''We did something, soldiers will come get us any minute now,
we need to be together when that happens.''

''I'm leaving then'', said Jeff
and looked at me: ''Good luck, man.''

''If the
world doesn't end tonight, go to Gurg's and have a drink to my
name, you can do that much for me, can you Squid?''

''Yeah... I guess.''

Chapter sixty one

Laszlo's not
here, they said, he eluded them again. They discu
ssed the probability of his crossing into the next realm,
the realm of 'the guardian'. Is it possible that he grew so strong
that he openned his own portal to it, or he somehow sneaked into
the fort, and passed through Scaramouche's portal, they mused. They
have to talk to Scaramouche, they decided, and they will get his
attention by breaking in his fortress using their superpowers. I
asked them to use some plan that doesn't involve violence, I
offered one. I gave them the name that I got from Jove, that he got
from Kayla, name of Mumford Archibald Morse, suppossed true
identity of Scaramouche. If a note with his name would reach him,
if that really is his name, we would probably get his attention.
Lempo gave this note to one of the soldiers on checkpoint, and
soldier went away with it. Lempo said that he's controling his
mind, and that he will control passing of the paper from hand to
hand, all the way to Scaramouche.

''Cool power, ha?'', he
said.

No, it's not.
It's frightening. We went back for Jove, and found him talking with
some guy. He went away.

''That was Jeff, Kayla's ex'',
said Jove.

''Really? What did he say?''

''He said that the world will
end today.''

Creep. There
was no time to ask any further questions, they came for us. They
escorted us inside, and took us to the fortress, through bunch of
intersecting corridors, and into a small office, where a large fat
man sat, with thick glasses on his head, making his eyes look like
Gollum's. He was clicking a pen in his hand.

''There's only one chair'', he
said: ''So three of you will have to stand.''

''We need to speak to
Scaramouche'', said Lempo.

He pointed his pen at Lempo and
Emily.

''You two played some kind of
Jedi mind tricks with my soldiers. If you are at some war with me,
you are breaking its rules.''

If he is Scaramouche, than I
understand how he got his nickname. He looks like a caricature. He
scared Lempo.

''No, no'',
he started apologizing: ''We didn't come with hostile intentions,
we want-''

''How did you
get this name?!'', big man interrupted him, and threw the paper
with Morse's name on the table.

''Well, I got
it actually'', said Jove: ''I've heard some story about that being
the true identity of Scaramouche...''

''And you think that is
me?!''

''Well, actually, a clone of
him, I'm mean that's what the story claims.''

''Story
claims that I a came out of a tube?''

''We all came out of some
tube'', I said: ''It makes no difference what kind.''

''What is it
that you want from me kids?''

He called us kids.

''We want
help!'', yelled Lempo: ''We are after a very dangerous man, a
psychopath, who is on his way to three sixty five, and his
destroying everything that gets on his way. We tracked him here,
and lost him, we've him lost because he crossed into the next
level, by using your portal, or openning his own!''

''Wormholes
within these walls are monitored and secured day and night, no one
can use my portal without me knowing, and I'm pretty sure it's
impossible to create more.''