Maniacs in The Fourth Dimension (17 page)

''Emily's
psychotic, she smacked a guy on the head with a .38 back at the
convention, just because of some stupid comment he made. Also, I
think she wacked Abraxas, although she says she let him go. We're
on our own, Jove.''

We tripped
and stumbled downhill, and an opened clearing appeared before us.
And something more. A diner. In the middle of nothing. Jungle goes
on behind it. 'Gurg's'.

''This looks
like a dream right now. A mirage. Last thing we ate were those
pancakes, god knows how long ago. Maybe we're home Jove, in our
world.''

''Gurg's
sounds like home to
you?! Not like some Hansel and Gretel eatin' ogre
canteen?!''

''There's no
such thing as ogres. Let's go.''

''There's
also no shrimp dragons and trash monsters! Right?!''

I can't
listen to him pussying around. I'm hungry. And out of
cigars.

''Wait, Cleit!''

Diner like any other. Opened,
but empty. Jove came.

''No one here.''

A waitress
appeared. She said something Russian sounding.

''I don't understand.''

''Holy
fuckin' shit, you're Americans!''

''Aah… we
are.''

''I never,
ever get Americans here, I'm from Illinois, Aarghus,
Illinois.''

''West coast, Westside'',
declared Jove.

She's smiling, seems that our
appereance made her happy.

''Cool. I'm
Kayla.''

''Cleit.''

''Jove.''

''What did
you two do, went swimmin' with your clothes on?''

''Um, it's a
very long story. Kayla, would you mind tellin' us where we
are?''

''Three twenty-six.''

Oh. S. H. I. T.

''Three twenty-six away from
home?'', said Jove.

''Yeah. That far.''

''Is there
any way we can go back?!'', said Jove.

''Only the
one you came with.''

''Well how did you get here?'',
he said.

''It's a classic tale. I met a
guy, he took me places, this is where we broke up.''

''And now you work for
Gurg.''

''Yeah. Gurg's okay. He's a
Tajik.''

''What's a
Tajik?'', asked Jove.

''A person from Tajikistan'',
she answered.

''A
human?!'', said Jove, surprised.

''Yeah'', she started laughing:
''Wow, you two are really… flushed out.''

''Who comes here?
Russians?''

''Yeah,
mostly Russian soldiers from above, and before sochi, I had illegal
construction workers coming from below. Their foremen would hide
them from the authorities on the temple up the hill, sometimes they
would leave them there for days, and they would be coming down here
looking for food. They could rarely pay, but I couldn't let them
starve. Not a very chatty company.''

What's 'sochi'? I don't have any
idea what she's talkin' about, but I will not ask anything, I don't
want to look stupid like Jove.

''Whose temple is that?''

''That temple is a very special
place. Sacred place. That's the place in which the spirit of God
abode when he created the visible world.''

''Wow'', said Jove:
''Really?''

''No. I just
made that
shit up to see will you buy it.
I'm sorry, but you two look so lost that I had to. Sorry. It's just
some edifice, I don't know what that is.''

Stupid.

''Okay, funny
girl. What kind of food you have in this place?''

''Only
dinosaur meat. We serve only meals made from
dinosaurs.''

''What kind of dinosaurs?''

''You're messing with us
again'', said Jove.

She bursted into giggles.

''I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, you can have whatever you want, burgers and fries and
all that.''

''I'm glad we entertain you. You
get very lonely here, don't you?''

''You have no idea.''

She went to
get us food. Weird girl. She has planet Saturn tattooed on her
neck, and a sea horse next to it. Her hands are also all tattooed
up. Cute, weird girl.

''Eight and a half? Nine?'',
said Jove.

''Right now? One fuckin'
hundred.''

Ch
apter fifty

' Bright
light city gonna set my soul

Gonna set my soul on fire

Got a whole lot of money that's
ready to burn,

So get those
stakes up higher… '

''American classic, ya?''

He played
some old Elvis tape in his jeep radio. An old radio cassette
player. I bombarded him with questions during the ride. His story
is an interesting one. I was wrong about him being German,
Engelherz is Dutch. He claims that back home, in the Netherlands,
he was a successful insurance agent.

''I had en house, and en wife,
and more money that I could spend. And then I couldn't take it
anymore. Human beings. Not only de people at work, de clients, but
all de humans. I had enough of them all. Did you ever wanted to go
to de lone cabin in de woods, and live there all alone? I couldn't
bring myself to say 'good day' to people anymore.''

I would call those symptoms
signs of depression, or mid age crisis, but for Marco that was
spiritual awakening. He claims that societal customs navigating
people to desire wealth, respect of community, good looks, moment
with fashion and technology are not impulses natural to man and his
spirit, but deviations from the way of life of our ancestors. He
claims that the most purest impulse natural to man besides the
drive to feed and breed, is his urge to hunt. That's what makes
Marco happy.

I, myself don't see anything
primeval, exciting, or romantic in hunting. It's not like chances
are even when you hold some thing at gunpoint. In fact, it's
savage. But, Marco made it sound so purposeful. He left quite an
impression on me with his piercing blue eyes of a… of an Aryan
huntsman. There's certainly something uncommon about him.

So, he says,
he left everything behind and went on a safari.

''I was not interested in
shooting antelopes. I wanted to face predators. I wanted lions,
rhinos, crocodiles. And I was ready to pay handsomely for
them.''

So, he gained
reputation of someone who pays abundantly for facing off dangerous
beasts. And then, one day, his Congoan guide brought to him a man
who asked him how much would he pay to face off mokele-mbembe.
Dinosaur from Central-African legends. Marco didn't believe in the
seriousness of the man's offer, but, being curious, he agreed on a
price. Before the man led him to mokele-mbembe's lair, he took him
to a local juju man to consecrate Marco's rifle. And then, under
the cover of the night, the man led him to the beast. Marco wasn't
ready for the encounter, mokele-mbembe scared him and escaped, and
he found himself in the world that doesn't exist. Seventeen years
passed since that day.

''I'm still on safari'', says
he.

During these
seventeen years Marco crossed over three hundred levels, and hunted
every existent predator, at least he claims so. Except one.
Something he calls '
bidsprinkhaan', he
says he doesn't know the English word for it. He calls it the
ultimate predator, and says that only one exists, only one was ever
created.

Primordial monster.

''Seventeen years. Don't you
miss your home?''

''I have many homes. And you
two, what's your story?''

''Hubert and
myself are theology students, actually now, I'm senior year, and
Hubert is assistant professor…''

I wanted to
tell him about circumstances of our crossing into other realms, but
he suddenly hit the brake, and stopped the car.

''Men of God.
Did you come here looking for Him?''

''No. I'm
trying to tell you, we got here by accident. We read about this in
a fantasy romance, until today, I thought this world is
fiction…''

''Are you
ordained?''

''What
ordained?''

''We are not
priests, Engelherz!'', exclaimed Hubert.

''Yet you go in priest school,
ya? If somebody wants to become a priest he must go to your school,
ya?''

''Yeah, but, I'm not planning to
be a cleric…''

''But, they
taught you everything you need to know to be one?''

''Kinda, yeah. Why?''

''Relax'',
laughed Marco: ''I'm not going to ask you to perform exorcism. I
need you to bless my rifle.''

He got out
and opened the trunk. Inside are two guns, a machete, a wrench and
boxes of ammo.

''Human
weapons can kill every creature on any level, but only if they're
consecrated by en priest. Any priest of any god. Without that, it's
useless. I have all my rifles and ammo blessed by local shamans of
de realms, but none is this high. So, one of you can do it. This
ammo and this rifle are new and I didn't have de opportunity to
bring them to de shamans. They need blessing.''

''Preposterous!'', exclaimed Hubert.

''Preposterous?! Such weapon saved your life, drunken fool!
Without it you would be in de bowels of en demonfish
now!''

''Stop. I'll do it. Just take
your gun and stand in front of me.''

Oh, lord.
Forgive me.

''May the
Lord bless you, and keep you; may the Lord make His face shine upon
you, and be gracious to you; may the Lord turn His face toward you
and grant you peace. In the name of the Father, the Son, and the
Holy Spirit. Amen.''

''Amen.''

Chapter fifty one

God is cold
water in the desert.

And soft bed
in the back of 'Gurg's' in which I lie naked, while all my clothes
are drying on the string. I can't keep my eyes open anymore. But, I
can't fall asleep either. I have to stop winding the film, if I
want sleep to come to me. Stop thinking. Stop talking to yourself.
No more thoughts. Starting now.

Now.

Sleep come to me.

Kingdom of Hypnos. Four stages
to REM. No more thoughts.

Sleep.

…

''It was my ex's. Now you smell
like him.''

Aarghus, Illinois. She dressed
Jove. I can hear them talk.

''He ain't
gonna come around and kick me out of his outfits, ain't
he?''

''No. Jeff's gone.''

''Aren't you
afraid that Cleit and I are going to go viking, and ravage your
maidenhood?''

''Wow. Action. Sounds fun.''

''Ha hah! You're crazy. I think
I'm falling in love with you.''

''Yeah. Don't let me break your
heart, viking.''

''Thank you,
Kayla, for takin' care of Cleit and me.''

''It's cool.''

''So, you've been through
dimensions?''

''I've seen some, yeah.''

''What sorts of strange
creatures did you see, did you see dogheads?''

''Um… no.''

''Trash monsters?''

''No.''

''Zombies,
Valkyries, unicorns?''

''No, no, what?!''

''Leprechauns, Hobbits, Nibelungs?''

''Seriously, man?!''

''Centaurs,
Satyrs, Sephards?''

''I don't
even know what those things are.''

''Well, what
did you see?''

''Um… Oh,
once Jeff and I saw, that was supercool, you're not gonna believe
this, we saw-''

…

…

Chapter fifty two

So I was
wrong. I don't have a problem admitting that. All this is not some
trick of Abraxas. It's actual. One world over another three hundred
and sixty five times. I can accept that. I still think Abraxas had
some foul scheme to play with his fans, but maybe it went wrong
somewhere along the way, maybe I will never find out what his true
intentions were, and who he really is.

I don't have
a problem admitting I was wrong. In fact, I should be excited. You
see, the idea that the universe is made out of three hundred and
sixty five levels of existence is an old Gnostic thought. I, for
one, should care, I read so much about it, about Gnostics and
Gnosticism, when I was a kid. That was my thing, someone likes
dinosaurs, someone likes Greek mythology, my thing were prophets of
secret knowledge. It's not like I ever wanted it to be true, I just
wanted to know.