Marked. Part I: The missing Link (16 page)

Chapter 14

Monday, January 13

2:16pm

“Jay?”

“
Hmm?” He grumbles, half asleep.

I hesitate before carrying on, “I have a favor to ask of you.”

“Anything, baby,” his voice is gritty, and he begins to stroke my back.

I'm lying on his chest in the same position we fell asleep an hour ago. We've been alternating between making love, talking, eating pie, and sleeping.

I play with the muscles on his abs, “I want to have sex with me on my stomach, and you from behind.” I've been thinking about it for the last thirty minutes. The idea has me a little shaky, but I feel the need to do it.

Jay stops stroking my back and I feel his body tense under me, “Isn't that...?”

“Yeah,” I answer more throaty than I wanted to; I was hoping to come across more confident.

“
I don't know, Lily. Are you ready for that?”

I shrug, “It's hard to explain, but I want to. Last night was the most wonderful, amazing moment of my life...” I stop to savor Jay's lips on my hair, and the way he plays with the hairs at the bottom of my neck.

“If we do this, you need to promise that if it gets to be too much and you think you might start crying you tell me. I couldn't handle watching you cry in sadness while I'm inside you.”

“
I will, I promise.”

“
Are you sore?”

“
A little, but I'm okay.”

Jay scrubs the scars on his face, “Okay, but before we do I need to make sure you're the horniest you've ever been and have no time to think about what's happening because you're fully in the moment.”

“That's every time you touch me.”

Jay rolls our bodies, and hovers over me, “Tell me to stop the second any signs of panic set in.”

I nod and he kisses me, slow and sweet.

He begins to worship my body the same as the first time we were intimate, but this time as I'm about to come from his mouth between my legs he stops to kiss and tease other parts of me. He does this five more times, leaving me panting, sweating, and my blood pumping wildly from needing release.

His tongue laps circles around my nipple before taking it into his mouth and biting down on it. He plays with it with his tongue while his fingers stroke my inner folds.

I moan loudly when I'm close and he softens to a slower stroke, moving my wetness around which isn't necessary – I'm drenched.

“Jay, please, just fuck me already!” I slap my hand over my mouth in shock with how feral I sound.

Jay stops with my nipple between his lips, wickedly grins, pulls it up with his teeth, and tugs before letting go.

“Aahh!” I cry out from the pleasurable pain.

I grab hold of Jay's head and firmly plant his lips to mine. I start to kiss him with an eagerness and greed I didn't know I had in me. I'm sure our lips will be raw by the time I'm done. Without breaking apart, I forcefully sit up and push Jay over to get on top. I break our lips apart, and we both suck in a huge mouthful of air. I begin tormenting his body exactly has he did mine, starting from the top and working my way down. When I feel Jay's cock begin to throb in my mouth, I pull off in one slow, fluid motion, making a popping noise when I suction off the tip. I start back at his lips and work my way down again. When I release his cock again, he starts panting and scrunching the sheets up in his hands.

I decide to do it again. When my lips hit his cock, his hands come to my head and push me down on him, forcing it to go further than it ever has. I'm surprised how much this arouses me as I slightly gag on it. He doesn't have a strong hold on my head and I can easily move my mouth off him. As I do a growl rumbles from his chest. In one swift movement he's over me and slamming into me from behind.

I sink my forehead into the mattress and bunch the sheets up under my hands in complete nirvana. The harder he slams into me the more I drift off into euphoric oblivion.

3:29pm

“Baby, come back to me. Are you okay?” Jay's body is completely over me and his forehead is on my temple, one hand resting on one of my mine, the other rubbing the arm under it.

“
Yeah,” I breathe out, “More than okay.”

“
What happened? I lost you.”

“
I don't know,” I hardly recognize my distant dreamy voice, “I felt like I was floating.”

“
I noticed you had gotten quiet and your eyes had glossed over. I started to cum so hard inside you and you didn't make a peep. You wouldn't respond to me. I shouldn't have lost control like that. Was I too rough?”

“
No,” I still sound dreamy and breathless.

Jay scoots us up and tucks us under the covers, cocooning me in his arms.

“I'm a little rattled right now, I can't tell if you're okay or not. You look high.”

I smile a goofy grin, “I feel a little high.”

Jay moves us again so we are on our stomachs, faces close enough I can feel his breath on me, and his hand lovingly strokes my back. I close my eyes, and the more he caresses me the more I seem to float back down from wherever my mind just took me.

His hand moves to my face and his thumb runs along my cheek bones, lips, eyes, brows, and forehead. He lets his fingers comb my hair and then they travel along my neck.

My lids slowly open and I smile at him.

He shyly grins at me, “Hi.”

“Hi,” my voice has regained some normalcy.

He softly kisses my lips and keeps our noses touching.

“Welcome back.”

“
I don't know what happened. It was incredible. Like nothing I've ever experienced before.”

“
Did you have an intense orgasm or something?”

“
No, I didn't come at all.” I kiss Jay's lips when I see him frown, “Whatever happened was almost better than an orgasm.”

“
Seriously?”

“
Yeah, it's like I left my body and went to another dimension of bliss.”

“
Huh.”

“
I know, it's crazy.”

“
Do you think it was too much too soon? Your body's way of blocking out what was happening, trying not to remember the first time?”

I smile, “The first time never crossed my mind. It was brought on by what you were doing to me, the heights you were taking my body.”

“Wow Lily, what the hell did I do to deserve you? I don't deserve to have someone who completely gives themselves to me like you do, with that kind of trust and love.”

“
Everyone deserves someone.”

“
No, not everyone. Not someone like me.”

“
Especially someone like you. I wish you could see what I do.”

“
Me too, baby. Me too.”

Chapter 15

Tuesday, January 14

3:33pm

We are returning from the shooting range. The whole ride home all Jay can talk about is how impressed and seriously surprised he is at what a badass I am with a gun. He can't seem to get over how easily I aim and hit my targets – perfect almost every time. He also got incredibly turned on that my gun of choice, and the one I own, is a Glock-17.

Jay parks the truck and comes around to open my door, “It's official, you are the most amazing girl in existence.”

I hold back the urge to squeal like a girl and hug myself from his compliment, but I can't stop the huge-ass smile that takes over my entire face.

Jay turns his back to me, “Hop on.”

I giggle and throw my arms and legs around him. I nibble on his ear and he groans, which makes me start to suck along his neck.

Jay turns his head to meet my lips, “I need you in my bed, followed by some pie, then my bed again. In fact, we may stay there until tomorrow.”

“You followed by pumpkin pie may be the most amazing thing ever.” I go back to exploring his neck with my mouth.

His key is halfway to the lock when he groans and rolls his head back in response to what I'm doing. I wrap my hand around his while my mouth still pursues his neck and I help him unlock the door and open it.

“I need to run home and grab some things,” I tell him between nibbling and sucking.

“
No you don't,” Jay's voice has turned low and husky, and it's incredibly sexy.

I hop off, “I'll be quick. I need my toothbrush and a change of clothes for tomorrow.”

Jay turns around pouting. It makes me want to jump him and rip his clothes off, but I really want my toothbrush. I dash out of his door and to my house. I'm almost at my door when I hear my name being called by a voice that makes my skin crawl. I close my eyes tightly, praying I'm imagining it.

“
Lily?” I hear again as the familiar voice gets closer. The blood rushes out of my body at the sight of Will in my driveway. Adrenaline starts coursing through my veins and my heart is beating crazy and wild.

Fuckidyfuckfuck
.
What's he doing here?

I walk over to Will as confident as I can. I notice my hand has started twisting my hair and I curse myself. I thought I had gotten over this habit, a habit I had started with Will. I refuse to let this man get to me. I'm stronger than I was, and I won't let him hurt me. He's a sorry excuse for a man who had to demean my existence because he had a sick, twisted need to own and control me. I'm not that girl any more. By the time I reach him my pep talk to myself has made me a tad braver, but not as much as I was hoping for.

“What are you doing here?” I cross my arms to try and appear tougher than how I'm feeling. It's also to prevent myself from twirling my hair. I absolutely refuse to do that, even if I have to stand here twitching as I hold back the urge.

“
Awe, peach, I've missed you. You won't return my calls,” Will's tone is the same one he used to use on me when he was asking my forgiveness for being a jerk. It used to work, now it makes me want to punch him.

“
I'm not your peach,” I reply, unemotional and cold.

He advances towards me and I have an inner battle with my body's natural desire to take a step back and cower. I don't, and I want to fist pump the air, yelling out a “Woohoo!”

“How can you say that?” Will reaches for my arm but I sidestep it.

“
Don't
.
Touch
.
Me
,” I state clearly, enunciating each word.

Will's eyes dart to Jay's house, “You sleeping together?” He focuses in on me as if I've been going behind his back cheating.

I welcome the rage building inside me, it's a nice contrast to the docile girl I once was.

“
Go home, Will. You're not welcome here,” I hard-line with assertion I didn't know I had.

I recognize the lick of a flame starting in Will's eyes and know he's losing his patience.

“Enough with the games, Lily,” he's using his soft, sweet, seductive voice that once had me batting my eyelashes and swooning when we were first together, “I lost my temper. I'm sorry, but don't go whoring around the neighborhood and spreading your legs for everyone.”

WHAM!
That
would be the sound of my fist slamming into Will's jaw.

Fuuuucckkkk! That hurt! Goddamn! I don't shake my hand and cry out, I don't want him to see any weakness in me.

“You fucking bitch!” Will cries, rubbing his jaw and I feel immensely satisfied when I see his busted, swollen lip. I guess my time at Jay's is paying off in more ways than one.

Will takes hold of my arm with brute force and I want to (but proudly don't) whimper in pain, “I'm going to let that one slide. Let's say we're even now.”

I let out a deep, menacing laugh that takes us both by surprise, “Not even close.”

“
What did you expect to happen when you try leaving me after we made love the night before? I gave my heart to you, and you leave me the next day like a piece of used meat.”

I lunge and tackle Will to the ground, keeping a choke hold on him. My brain is telling me to stop as his lips start to turn blue, but I’m not me right now. I'm on a war path of built up fury I've been stewing on for weeks. I'm finally seeking my revenge, finally letting myself feel the internal wounds he caused me, ones that would become a permanent scar I would carry the rest of my life. Oh, I'll move on with my life, you can bet on it, but I'll never forget what he did to me. Never. He stole a part of me. This body, this soul is mine. I should get to choose what pieces to give away! My hands squeeze with more force.

His legs are thrashing and he's hitting my sides, but I have too much adrenaline in my system to feel it or care.

All of a sudden I'm airborne and being pulled away from Will, who is gasping for air.

“Let go of me Jay! I'm not done!” I wiggle around in Jay's arms that are securely wrapped, binding me in.

“
You've made your point, Lily,” Jay says into my ear soothingly, “He knows he can't hurt you anymore. He's not worth going to prison for.”

He's right, and I let my body retreat into his safe, warm arms.

Will clumsily stands up.

“
It's time you left,” Jay advises.

I watch Will's eyes widen as he takes the size of Jay in, and I see fear dance across his face. I'm certain Jay's giving him one of his sinister stare downs.

“I'm done with this cunt anyway. I hope you like used goods.”

I charge for him and Jay doesn't try to stop me. Grabbing Will's shoulders, I bring my knee to his stomach with a force that has him buckling over and heaving.

I'm airborne again and being carried away in a football hold under Jay's arm towards his house.

“
I'm not done yet!” I yell, wanting Will to feel every ounce of pain he has ever caused me and more.

Jay chuckles, “I think I may be a bad influence on you.” He smacks my ass and I grin, “That punch to his jaw was badass babe. You made me proud.”

Warm tingles take over at his praise, “You saw that?”

Jay sets me down on his living room floor and shuts his door, but not before making sure Will has gotten in his car and is driving away.

Jay picks up my hand to examine my knuckles that are sore, “I was coming after you to kill the motherfucker when your fist shoots out and smashes him with enough force I heard it from across the street. It stopped me in my tracks.” He lightly kisses my throbbing hand and leads me to the kitchen.

“
I hate him, Jay. I hate him!” I seethe as Jay wraps ice in a towel and holds it on my knuckles,
“He actually called what he did to me 'making love'!”

Jay stiffens at my words and growls, “He said that?”

“He said I deserved what I got the next morning for trying to leave him after we 'made love',” my words are firing out of me like rockets, “he had the audacity to say I used him! Ha! I should have made him choke to death on his own balls!”

Jay starts laughing, “Now you're even sounding like me.”

“I can't believe the weak person I was.”

Jay hooks my chin up, “Not weak. You just needed to realize your self-worth.”

I pounce on him and attack his lips, letting my tongue and mouth show the gratitude I have for everything he has done for me.

Within minutes we are on his couch, ripping our clothes off each other, unable to control our frantic greed for the other's body. We don't waste time exploring or touching, going straight for what we want. I get on top, sinking down on him, and we both cry out from the pleasure. I want this so badly I don't have time to feel insecure that I don't know what I'm doing. I just let myself get lost in the sensation and let my body instinctively tell me what to do.

Being stretched out and full of Jay inside me has my hips rocking and circling at a pace so untamed and unrestrained that I combust so powerfully it gives Jay no choice but to follow. We both scream out the other's name before collapsing on our sides. Waves of aftershocks continue to hit us both as we silently try to come back to earth.

“
Damn, Lily, you've ruined me.” He kisses the top of my head and I nuzzle up under his chin, sedated and content.

“
You were hilarious to watch out there. You've become such a little firecracker,” Jay chuckles, kissing my head again.

“
He can't hurt me anymore. He can't because I won't let him. I have an amazing sense of freedom from knowing that,” I say this only because I need to hear the words spoken out loud.

“
No, he can't,” Jay's voice fades into the words, sounding almost in agony over them. He breathes out a curse and begins rubbing the bridge of his nose, his breathing growing rapid and unsteady.

I sit up, “What's wrong?”

He gets up and starts pacing the length of the hall, to the couch and back again. Hands resting on his hips, head hanging, watching his feet move.

“
You're kinda freaking me out right now. What's wrong?” I plead with him, but he ignores me and continues his pacing.

After a tedious amount of time he comes to a halt between the hall and the living room. I watch him transform in front of me. His features harden, his muscles tighten, and his eyes devoid of emotion.

“I'm leaving on Friday,” he's even and matter-of-fact, as if his words didn't just shatter me into a million pieces. “I have to start getting everything in order.”

Jay retreats down the hall and I remain on the couch, too stunned to move. He can't be leaving. Oh god, just the thought of it is more painful than I ever imagined.

I jump up and stumble after him, “Jay, wait. I thought we still had a few more weeks.”

I catch him as he's about to open the door to his second bedroom. His back is to me, and he takes in a deep breath, “It's time, Lily. I've been here far too long. I warned you about this.”

“Did you just decide this? Why so suddenly?” I sound desperate, but I don't care. My chest is caving in from the idea of never seeing him again.

“
I have a lot of work to do,” he goes into the room, shutting the door behind him.

I start hyperventilating as I drop to the ground. Why does it hurt this much? I knew our time together was fleeting, what we had was temporary, but I never prepared myself. I never let myself think about it. I preferred to pretend it was never going to happen.

The second room door opens and Jay comes out, sidestepping around me as if I'm a puddle on the road. He comes back fully dressed and retreats back into the room.

I force myself to get off the floor. I go to the couch, pick up my fallen clothes, and get dressed with shaky hands. I sit on the couch, turn on the television, and mindlessly watch.