Marrying Kate (19 page)

Jared laughed harshly. "You’re so naive, Kate. Of course it’s my fault. Nothing will ever change that."

Kate’s heart sank. Not so much at what he said, but what he called her
. Kate
. He rarely called her that any more. It was usually Katie.
Kate
sounded so harsh coming from him.

"Maybe it’s true, maybe it’s not. But you can’t go through the rest of your life with this guilt. It won’t change anything either," Kate told him gently.

"Is that what you tell yourself?" Jared asked, his expression hard and angry. "Is that how you justify finding joy in raising your sister’s children? How you justify living out your dream at the expense of your sister’s life? You wouldn’t be here, in her house, sleeping in her bed, raising her children, if she hadn’t died. I guess you owe me some thanks. If it weren’t for me, they wouldn’t have died in that plane crash and given you your dreams on a silver platter."

Kate gasped with pain as each barb he flung found a mark on her already bruised and battered heart. She looked down at herself sure she’d see blood seeping through her blouse, the pain was so intense. She lifted her eyes and saw Jared’s head drop forward.

The video game slipped from numb fingers, falling noiselessly to the plush carpet. Kate turned, a hand clenched against her aching heart
, struggling to draw breath through lungs tight with emotion, and fled the room on silent feet. Outside the room she paused trying to breathe, trying to sort out the emotions raging inside her. She started for the stairs to go to the sanctuary of her room but paused. Jen’s room. Jen’s kitchen. Jen’s family room. Everything here was Jen’s. Not hers. Never hers.

A ragged sob burst past her tightly pursed lips. Where could she go? What place was hers alone? The garden. Kate ran through the kitchen and slipped out the sliding door into the night.

Kate’s feet took her around the garden to the far side, in the shadows, hidden from view of the house. She sank to the thick grass, broken sobs wrenched from her very soul. Kate reached out shaking fingers to the rich soil. Soil she had worked. Soil she had nourished and planted her seedlings in. This was hers. This garden that had symbolized so much to her. But her garden flourished while her marriage and her life fell apart. All she was left with were symbols.

Kate lifted soil stained fingers to cover her face. Tears mingled with dirt
, but Kate didn’t care. All she had ever cared about had just been ripped away from her. All her hopes and dreams lay shattered around her. Jared would never love her. Obviously he saw her as a callous, selfish person who took joy at the death of her sister. She would never be a true mother. Not to Bry or the girls and certainly not to a child of her own flesh.

"Oh God." Kate lifted her head and stared at the black sky. The stars blurred into twinkling masses before her eyes. "Did I ask for too much? Is that why it’s all being taken from me now? All I wanted, all I’ve ever wanted
, was someone to love me. Was it too much? Was I too greedy?"

No answers were whispered to her as she sat there. The breeze drifted past her without a sound. Kate felt rage build in her and turned to her garden. The plants there mocked her with their strength and growth. Before she could stop herself, Kate reached out and began to rip plants up. She made it through half of one row before she slumped back down on the grass, spent physically and emotionally.

Suddenly a cloth covered her mouth and nose. A tight arm wrapped around her arms, keeping her from pulling at the cloth. Kate
tried to fight, but her emotional outburst had drained all strength from her.

Maybe this is for the best
, Kate thought as the darkness beckoned.
Maybe they’ll kill me and Jared will be free to find the wife he wants. It’s only right that I should die too. Don’t hate me, Jen, when I see you. I only wanted what was best for your children. I’m sorry to have failed you…

*****

Jared sat, head bent trying to reign in the emotions that pulsed through his blood with every beat of his heart. They pounded in his head, his ears. They had overtaken him completely. He had never felt so out of control of himself and his emotions.

And Kate. He’d hurt her. The need to strike out, to inflict pain had been overwhelming
, but in the end he had only inflicted more pain on himself. Hurting Kate had hurt him.

Dragging a tired hand over his face, Jared fumbled for the words to apologize. "I’m sorry, Katie. So sorry. You are the most unselfish person I know."

Jared lifted his head, expecting to see Kate standing where she’d been only seconds before. The doorway was empty except for a box of some sort that lay on the floor. Jared shoved back from the desk and left the room, desperate to find Kate and make things right.

He took the stairs two at a time, sure he’d find her in their room. It was empty and dark. The bathroom was also empty. He checked the
guest room and the kids’ rooms before heading downstairs. He checked the family room and then the kitchen. She wasn’t there either. Jared stood in the middle of the kitchen, hands on his hips trying to get his thoughts in order so he could think logically instead of frantically. Where would she go?

Several quick strides took him to the door of the garage. He flicked on the light and saw his car and the van in their normal places. Where was she? Desperation and worry started to pull at him as he walked back into the kitchen. Jared looked around the room hoping for a note or something. His gaze swept past the sliding door and then back again. It was open a few inches. She was in the yard.

Jared bolted for the door, hitting the light switch as he went. The flood lights illuminated every corner of the yard but there was no sign of Kate. Jared’s gaze fell on Kate’s garden and the uprooted plants. His heart shattered as he thought of what had prompted her to tear up her precious garden.

The emotions that battered Jared as he walked across the yard to the garden were so much more painful than finding out about the cause of the plane accident. If Kate was gone, his heart was gone too. How could he have ever wondered if he loved Kate? Just the thought of not having her in his life was enough to make him want to cease living. She was a part of him. That was why when he’d hurt her, he’d hurt himself. Her pain was his
, and he’d hurt her terribly tonight. She’d forgiven him so much during the time of their marriage. Would she forgive him yet again?

Jared knew he’d do whatever it took to earn her forgiveness and trust. Just so long as she didn’t leave him. He didn’t think he could survive that.

Something out of the corner of his eye caught Jared’s attention. A fluttering of white. Hoping it was Kate, Jared turned quickly and stared at a piece of white paper stuck to the large tree next to Kate’s garden.

He stared at it, his knees going weak. Was this her farewell letter? Jared didn’t want to look but found himself walking to the tree and reaching out to grab the paper. As he read the words, his heart clenched and his stomach quivered. This was so much worse than a farewell letter. At least he might have had a chance to win her back if she’d left him but this...

"
I have something of yours. If you want it back, you’ll do what I say. Wait for more instructions
."
 

Chapter Ten

Rage and pain pushed all rational thought from Jared’s mind. He crumpled the paper in his hands and sank to the ground, his legs no longer strong enough to hold him and the weight of guilt that crushed him.

"
No," Jared cried, lifting his clenched fists to the sky. "God, no. Please don’t take her from me. Don’t let them hurt my Katie."

Sobs wracked his body. His pain very physical as he tried to take breaths into a chest that had tightened and restricted his lungs. What had he done? With his hurtful words he had driven Katie into the darkness and into the snare of a man who had killed before. Jared pounded the ground, welcoming the pain that shot up his arm. He would not let him kill her. He’d rescue her and then, if she wanted, he’d let her go. He had no right to hold her when he couldn’t even protect her.

Sanity and reason began to creep back into his mind. All his years of training and experience came to the forefront. Jared was able to take a couple of deep breaths to calm himself.
Focus.
He had to keep his focus on what needed to be done. Katie’s life depended on it.

Resolutely, Jared stood and went back to the house. Its stillness overwhelmed him as he stepped through the door.
Everything had changed in the space of a few short minutes. Would things ever be the same? Would Katie ever be back in this kitchen cooking one of the meals she’d struggled to learn to make? Would Jared ever see her soft smile again, and the look of quiet tranquillity in her beautiful gray eyes?

Grief started to rise again
, but Jared tamped it down.
Later.
He would deal with the emotions later. Right now he had some phone calls to make. His first instinct was to head out to search for Katie, but it was impractical. In the dark he’d probably end up destroying what evidence there might be, plus he couldn’t leave the children alone. He didn’t fear so much for their safety now. The killer had his bait. He wouldn’t risk it to get one of the children. But what was he going to tell them when they woke up in the morning?

Cross that bridge when you get to it
, an inner voice commanded him.
Focus!

He punched out Drake’s home number. Drake answered right away.

"He’s got Katie." Jared rubbed his forehead as he uttered those three stark words.

There was a short pause on the other end of the phone, but then Drake took control. "I’ll be out there with a team in an hour."

Jared thanked him and hung up the phone. His next call was to Garth where he left the same message on his machine. After making those calls, he toyed with calling Mrs. Harris to come watch the children but finally decided on Darlene. Since her brother worked for Drake’s company she was probably
the best choice. Darlene was a calm, collected person and would be best able to reassure the children.

Jared slowly dialed her number, hating to have to give her the news because he knew that she and Kate had become quite close.

"Darlene, it’s Jared."

"Jared!" Darlene greeted him enthusiastically. "I was just wondering how dinner went. Kate was most excited to try out this new recipe. She said you’d mentioned loving Southern fried chicken and all the fixings. How was it?"

Jared slumped down in his chair, another wave of pain overtaking him. "I’m afraid I was late for dinner and didn’t have a chance to eat it."

"I’m sorry to hear that
, but I’m sure it will taste just as good reheated--"

"Darlene," Jared interrupted her. He couldn’t handle any more light hearted chatter. "I’m calling because I need help. Katie was...kidnapped tonight. I need help with the children."

Jared heard Darlene’s gasp. "Oh, I’m so sorry, Jared. Of course I’ll be there as soon as I can."

With the most important phone calls made, Jared turned his attention to the note. His fingerprints were already all over it
, but rather than risk messing it up even more, he pulled on a pair of latex gloves and smoothed it flat on his desk. As best he could tell, it was ordinary paper and the block-letters were written with a thick black marker. The generic nature of the note led him to believe that the killer had it written in readiness of whoever he might find unguarded and vulnerable to him.

The ringing of the phone at Jared’s elbow jarred him. He stared at it wondering if this was the killer getting in contact. He wished he had equipment in place to record and trace the call
, but he didn’t. He had no choice but to answer it.

"How did he get her?" It was Garth’s voice that replied to his greeting.

"She was in the backyard by her garden. I was in the library and didn’t know what had happened until I went looking for her. He’s had her about an hour."

"Did he leave any instructions?"

"Just a note saying he had her and would be in contact. I thought this might have been him now."

"I’d say he’ll either contact you in the next hour or he’ll wait until tomorrow night. The cover of darkness is probably his best weapon."

Jared wasn’t sure he agreed but didn’t argue. He longed for Phillip. They had worked well together. Phillip always helped Jared look at all the angles. He needed that right now.

He saw the lights of a car flash down the driveway. Jared went to the front door and watched as Drake’s
Escalade swung to a stop. He opened the door and strode out onto the front porch to greet Drake.

The two men embraced. "I’m so sorry about this, Jared."

"Thanks." Jared led the way into the house and down the hall to the library.

"I contacted the team while I drove here so depending on where they have to come from, they’ll be arriving over the next half hour or so." Drake sat down across from Jared. "How did this happen? Didn’t Kate know not to go outside alone after dark?"

"She knew," Jared said tightly. "We had a fight. She probably wasn’t thinking about safety when she went out into the yard. It was my fault, and by the time I realized she had gone outside it was too late."