Masquerade (4 page)

A shiver built low and raced its way
up my back, making my body shake. I was just about to turn back to
bed when my attention was caught by something up in the sky – the
stars. It was a clear night, and many were visible. It made me
remember the many nights when I was little that my dad would take
me out into the yard on his shoulders and point out the many
constellations. We always stayed outside until we saw at least one
shooting star to wish on. I always felt safe with him; I missed him
so much.

Just before I closed the curtain, I
glanced back at the sky. There was a star twinkling so brightly
that I wondered how I couldn’t have noticed it before. It was the
brightest and biggest in the sky, and it radiated warmth. As I
watched it began to move, shooting through the sky and leaving a
glittering path behind it. I didn’t bother to make a wish because
it already made me feel so much better.

Maybe sleep wouldn’t be so out of
reach after all.

Chapter Three

Heven

“
Jenna is such a witch,”
Kimber growled. I abandoned my lunch to watch her drop into the
chair across from me.

“
What did she do
now?”

“
She scheduled extra
practices all week for the competition coming up.”

“
So? We always have extra
practices when a competition is close.” I grabbed my water and took
a long sip, just now remembering the fact that I didn’t cheer
anymore.

“
I know.” Kimber sighed. “I
just hate her. I wish you were still cheering.”

I placed the cap back on my water.
“Have you talked to Cole at all?”

“
He’s called,” she
hedged.

“
Kimber…”

“
No.”

“
Maybe you should answer
next time he calls.” I was convinced that if they just talked, they
could work it out.

“
I can’t.”

“
Why not?” I leaned across
the table.

“
Because I’ll forgive him,”
she whispered.

Relief washed through me. She still
loved him. Kimber and Cole would be back together, and everything
would go back to normal. I ignored that tiny bit of relief that her
plan to make Cole jealous would be no more. And the boy she thought
would be perfect for that plan would be no more. “It’s okay to
forgive him.”

She shook her head. “I can’t just
forgive him. I want him to know what it feels like.”

Oh, no. “What do you mean?”

Before she could answer, Amber, one of
the girls I used to hang with when I cheered, ran up to our table.
She gave me the smallest of smiles before turning to excitedly beam
at Kimber. “Did you hear?”

“
Hear what?” Kimber
asked.

“
There’s a new
guy.”

My stomach dropped.

“
He’s so hot,” she
drawled.

“
Who is it?” Kimber
asked.

“
I don’t know his name.”
Amber looked up, toward the cafeteria door. “But he just walked
in.”

With a lump in my throat I turned to
see. It couldn’t be.

It was.

“
His name is Sam,” Kimber
told her with a slightly haughty tone.

“
You know him?” Amber
asked, awed.

“
We’ve met,” Kimber
answered mysteriously.

The girl responded, but I didn’t hear.
There was a ringing in my ears. I couldn’t drag my eyes away from
him. He was so…

His eyes found mine; I felt my own
widen.

I looked away, smoothing my hair
around my scars.

“
Did you hear me?” Kimber
asked, leaning across the table.

“
Sorry, what?” I looked up.
Amber was gone.

“
I
said
it looks like I’ve found my man
to make Cole insanely jealous.”

That’s what I was afraid
of.

It was spring, but the air
was still cool, and I was grateful. Warm weather was not my friend;
I couldn’t wear hoodies and layers of clothes to hide behind. I
huddled a little deeper into my jacket and hustled toward my
destination. Just the sight of the weathered red barn was enough to
soothe some of the day’s worries away. I’d always liked this place,
but ever since I woke up in the hospital with huge ugly
scar
s
on my face
and no memory of how I got them, my grandmother’s home was the only
place I felt truly at ease. She was the only person in my family
that didn’t coddle or smother me with unwanted pity and
worry.

I heard the soft rustle of hay, and I
smiled. He knew I was coming. Once I reached the barn I walked
directly to the first stall and looked into waiting, coal-black
eyes.

“
Jasper.” I crooned,
reaching out to stroke him. “Hi, boy. I’ve missed you.”

The chestnut colored horse made a soft
sound and pushed his nose toward me. Gran had three horses, each of
them unique and special in their own way. But Jasper was my
favorite. He was a balm to my wounded spirit.

“
I brought you something.”
I reached into the bag I was carrying and pulled out a crisp red
apple. The horse stomped his foot impatiently. I laughed. “Here you
go.” As he chomped, the other two horses neighed for their treats.
I passed out the fruit and returned to Jasper with a small caddy of
brushes.

As I curried him my thoughts wandered
a place it shouldn’t…to Sam. I didn’t want him to be a new student
at my school. I didn’t want the halls to be buzzing about how cool
and good looking he was. I did not want him to be in my seventh
period home economics class. I absolutely did not want Kimber using
him as some sort of pawn. I did not want to feel anything for him.
But I did. I wasn’t even sure what it was. Maybe it was just
nerves. A new kid would be curious, interested in knowing how I got
to be so ugly. People would talk to him about it – talk to him
about me. I could just hear what they would say…

No one knows what
happened…not even her.

She’s a freak.

She used to be so
popular…now she’s nobody.

Jasper nuzzled my arm, bringing me
back to the moment. I shook my head, clearing it. I went about my
routine of brushing and saddling the horse. I did a good job of
keeping my thoughts at bay until I rode Jasper out to my favorite
wooded trail where my thoughts went right back to Sam. Right after
the final bell at school, I rushed to my locker wanting to get out
of there. I was hoping to avoid Kimber, but I wasn’t fast enough.
She wanted to talk about Sam and her plan for revenge. Thankfully,
Grandma was waiting outside for me, and I managed to escape, but
not before promising to call her when I got home.

I wanted to tell her that
this plan to use Sam was stupid. I wanted to tell her to forgive
Cole already and move on. But I wouldn’t. I was chicken. I didn’t
used to be this way.
Before
. Whatever happened changed
the way I viewed, not just my appearance, but my worth. Sometimes I
wondered which was worse. Maybe if I still had the confidence I
used to have, I wouldn’t care that half of my face was disfigured.
But my confidence was gone
–
just like cheerleading, the drama club, my
fabulous fashion sense, and my friends. All I had left from my old
life was Kimber. So, if concocting some stupid scheme to get back
at Cole for cheating was what she wanted, then I would go along,
because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t have anything left at
all.

Jasper danced beneath me, and I patted
his neck to settle him. I took a moment to gaze off into the newly
budding trees ahead. Soon the forest would be a canopy of green,
and I looked forward to it. I always felt at peace and protected
among the trees here. Somewhere off to my left I heard a branch
snap. Startled, I looked to where I’d heard the noise; there was
nothing there. I nudged a reluctant Jasper along, feeling silly,
yet I couldn’t convince my heart to slow down. A few feet farther
there was another snap, this one a little closer than the last.
Jasper’s ears pricked up, and he turned toward the sound. Suddenly
his nostrils flared, and he took off running. I grasped at the
reins but didn’t bother to try to slow him down; if he sensed
danger then I wanted him to run. I tucked my head down and urged
him faster. I thought I heard another scuffle behind us, but I
didn’t turn to look. Broken memories and feelings began building in
my chest. I felt like I might burst with anxiety. A sob
escaped.

“
Not again.” I trembled,
urging Jasper faster. The roof of the barn came into view, and I
held on to the sight. I was almost there. I tried to listen for
anyone following but heard nothing except the pounding of my own
heart. When we reached the barn, I took a deep breath and turned to
look behind me. There was no one there.

I felt silly.

Though, silly as I felt, I didn’t slow
Jasper down until we were safely inside the barn. Once there, I
dismounted and swung the barn doors closed, bolting them. I ignored
the trembling in my knees and hands as I lead Jasper to his stall.
I tried to take comfort in the fact the horse showed no signs of
distress.

I couldn’t.

With Jasper in his stall, I walked to
a corner of the barn filled with hay, sank down and cried my eyes
out.

The Hate

Her crying amused me. She
came prancing into the forest on that silly horse not even
realizing I was watching. The horse noticed, but as always she was
too involved in herself to notice that it was trying to warn her.
She trotted right past me, so close that I could have reached out
and touched her. Ahh, to see the terror in her eyes when she
realized that all that looking over her shoulder wasn’t for
nothing. That there really is a monster in the shadows…waiting. But
the time isn’t right yet, and it was all too easy to scare her. All
I had to do was make a single sound to send her fleeing the woods
with fear on her face. Her cowardice annoyed me.

Months I have been
stalking her, and I still can’t figure out what it is that he loves
so much. I guess some might call her beautiful – well they would
have. I took care of that. With those huge, disgusting scars on her
face, no one can stand the sight of her. Still, he watches her. He
obsesses over her. He doesn’t see the real her, he sees what he
wants to see. He’s blind to her. What he needs is a lesson…an
education on all things about ‘little Miss Priss.’ Maybe then he
would finally see what world he belongs in. He’s fooled himself
into thinking that there might be some good left inside him. But no
more. I wonder who he will turn into when he sees her dead and
lifeless body lying before him. Yes, when she is dead he will
finally accept what he is and who he isn’t.

The Hope

Her crying was unsettling. I wanted to
reach out to her and take away her pain, but without pain there
would be no joy. I took a moment to close my eyes to feel the
warmth of love and peace course through me, and I sent it out to
her for comfort.

It disturbed me that she
was being watched by those with sinful agendas. Her path was so
tentative it could turn either way. I prayed that she would choose
the path that would lead her towards happiness.
She could be the answer — but she would need help. I looked
upon her once again; she lay crying in a darkened corner, looking
alone and lost.

You are not lost. You are
brave.

Love is the answer to it
all.

Your turn for love is
near.

I prayed that he was
deserving of her love. I prayed that he could cast aside what he
probably should be. It takes a brave and strong soul to deny part
of yourself, not many can accomplish it. I
watched her for another long moment. It was still too early
to know which way this would go.

The road ahead holds many
tests challenging everything she ever believed. I whispered a
prayer for her inner strength to guide her on her path. She
was going to need it
.

Heven

A long while later I let myself into
Grandma’s kitchen. I wasn’t crying anymore; I was seething with
anger.

“
How was your ride?”
Grandma asked, her back turned, as she stirred something in a pot
on the stove.

“
Fine.”

She turned and glanced at me as I
poured a glass of water. “I saw you and Jasper run into the barn
from the forest.”

“
Thought I heard
something.”

“
Probably just a squirrel,
they’ve begun coming out now that the weather is
warming.”

I said nothing because that
was why I was angry. It probably was just a squirrel, and I acted
like I was being hunted by a…well by who knows what? I was a stupid
scaredy-cat! My own
shadow scared me, and
it was embarrassing. At the moment it also made me extremely angry.
I didn’t want to be a baby.

“
I made spaghetti,” Grandma
said, pretending not to notice my foul mood.