Masquerade (Masquerade #1) (7 page)

Chapter Nine

Staring at the ceiling, I really can’t remember if I actually slept, or if I laid here all night. I look over at the clock to see it’s seven in the morning, so I start to get up. I throw my legs over the side of the bed and my head is throbbing. If I didn’t know any better, I would say I drank a bottle of tequila last night. I wish it was that.

I walk into the bathroom and turn on the water to the shower. I go back to the sink to brush my teeth. I look up in the mirror to see a face I have never seen before. What makeup I had on is gone and the dullness in my face is showing. My eyes are red, sunken in, and puffy. My hair is in a mess all over my head.

Pulling myself away from the mirror, I remove all my clothes and climb into the shower to stand under hot water. I wash my face, my hair, and my body, hoping to scrub the hospital smell off of me. Gradually, I ease down until I am sitting with my arms wrapped around my legs along with my head resting on my knees.

It sounds like someone is about to break the door down they are pounding so hard on it. I then realize I must have been sitting here a while because I am shivering with ice water falling on top of me. I pull myself up to turn the water off.

              Still with the knocking going on, I shout, “I will be out in a minute.” I hear whomever it was walking back down the hall. I pull my robe off the hook on the back of the door and swing it around my body, pulling it tightly around me. I then put my hair up in a towel to help it dry somewhat faster.

I make my way into the kitchen where I smell fresh brewed coffee. I find a cup and begin pouring. I sit at the bar, sipping my coffee, still in a fog over everything that has happened in the last twelve hours. I repeat in my mind over and over again,
this is all a dream; I will wake up to see it back to the way it was.

“Hey.”

I all but drop my coffee on the floor as I jump in my chair at that voice.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s not your fault,” I say with a forced smile on my face.

“Did you sleep well?”

“Not really. I slept like shit. Thank you for staying here last night, Chris. It means a lot to me.”

He kisses my lips swiftly, but he backs away. “You okay?”

I glance around as if any minute we are going to get caught. “It’s okay, Jules. He went out to get some breakfast.”

Leaping out of my chair and sprinting towards him like a mad woman, I push him into the counter with my body flush with his. I stand on my tiptoes to kiss him again. He pulls me into him, kissing me back. I open my mouth and push my tongue into his mouth to explore every part.

I moan in his mouth when the front door opens and closes. I pull back and race back to my seat to sip on my coffee. Alan comes strolling in the kitchen and sets down the food he has picked up from a waffle place not too far from my house.

He leans down and kisses my cheek, making me tense. “You doing okay, Red?”

“As good as I can be.” I get up hurriedly. “I need to check on Lucy. I need to get my head straight to explain to her what is going on. “

I get dressed in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and begin brushing my hair out. I leave it wet, and I decide it’s now or never. As I walk down the hall to her room, my mind is reeling on how to say this all to her. How do you tell a five year old that both of her parents are dead?

When I reach her room and open the door, it looks like she just woke up. “Hey, sleepy head.”

She smiles her bright smile. “Hey.”

“How about you go run and brush your teeth then come back in here to put your clothes on and meet me in the living room when you’re done. I need to talk to you. Okay?”

“Okay. I will be there soon.” She giggles and leaves.

I walk into the living room and find a seat on the couch, trying to get ready for this talk.

As I am staring off into space, she jumps on the couch. “I am ready. Unless I am in trouble.”

“No, you’re not in trouble, but I do need to talk to you about where mom and dad are.”

“Are they still in the hospital?”

This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I don’t know if I can do it. Letting a breath out, I tell her, “No, baby. They aren’t at the hospital.”

“Yay. That means there are here and better.”

I shake my head. “No, Lucy, they are not here either. Mom and dad went to Heaven.”

“They went to Heaven? Well, when are they coming home?”

Tears fall down my face. “They aren’t. Remember that accident you were in with them?”

She looks like what has happened just hit her. “Yeah.”

“They didn’t make it. They died from all the injuries they got during the wreck.”

She puts her head down and when she looks back up, tears are spilling over her eyelids. “Why?”

I can’t hold it any longer. Bawling, I pull her into my lap and hold her tightly. “I don’t know, baby. I have asked myself the same question. You know they loved you very much, right?”

She can’t talk. All she does is cry. We both sit weeping until we can’t any more. Alan walks in and puts his arms around me. Chris takes Lucy and holds her. We sit there in silence for what feels like hours.

Lucy cries so much that she falls asleep in Chris’ arms. “Chris, you can put her in bed if you want. You look uncomfortable.” His arms have to be asleep.

“No, I’m good. I don’t want to let go of her right now. She needs that comfort.”

If I didn’t already love him, I would have just fell head over heels, but I feel Alan still wrapped around me.
Shit.
I feel bad enough, but honestly, I can’t help it. I need to get away from him.

“I am going to eat a little then start doing all the calling I need to do to start funeral arrangements.”

Alan gives me a worried look, but he just shakes his head. I look back at Chris to see him staring a Lucy. He looks so peaceful holding her.

Who knew calling all these places and making arrangements could be so time consuming. I had to set up appointments with everyone I talked to. I called the funeral home to be asked questions I wasn’t sure of. They then directed me into calling my parents’ attorney to find out if they had a will and exactly what was written about the burial process.

I did find out that my parents both wanted to be cremated with their ashes spread in the ocean at Tybee Island Beach. I also found out that I would have to come into his office once the funeral was over to go over the will with him. Needless to say, I have learned a lot today on what it takes to bury your parents who died too soon and too fast.

I am to meet the funeral directors to discuss arrangements in an hour. Alan takes it upon himself to come with me and tells Chris to stay at the house with Lucy.

When we get to the funeral home, I immediately open the door of the car and rush to the entrance. I need to get this over with. The sooner, the better.

I find the office with a woman sitting behind a desk typing on a computer. She peeks above her glasses saying, “Can I help you?”

Being friendly, I extend my hand. “Hi. I am Julia Falls. I have an appointment with Mr. Carson.”

“Good afternoon, Mrs. Falls. Have a seat, and I will let him know you’re here.”

“Thank you.” I turn and walk to a chair beside where Alan is sitting.

Alan puts his arm around me and rubs my shoulder. “Red, I think you need to talk about all of this. You don’t have to always be strong.”

“I’m good.” I say a little more rigidly than I intend to.

“Whatever you say, Julia.” He removes his arm from around me.

“Miss. Falls.” Mr. Carson, I presume is waking towards me. “If you could just follow me this way.”

I get up, making my way behind him into his office. His office looks as stiff as the people he services here. It is beige with a plain wood desk that looks like it was stolen out of an old country school and a book shelf off to the side. The carpet is worn and beige as well.

The only thing sitting on his desk is a name badge, a phone, a lamp from the eighties, and a picture frame, which I can only assume contains a picture of his family.

“It’s nice to meet you, Julia, but not under these circumstances. I am sorry to hear about your loss, but I am here for anything you may need.”

“Thank you.”

“Let’s get started.” He pulls a notebook out of a drawer along with a pen.
The Falls
is written at the top. “I have some notes that I have received from the hospital that the coroner dropped off this morning. Your parents’ names were Mike and Tara, correct?”

“Yes, that is correct.”

“Cause of death was car accident?”

I sigh. “Yes.”

“I’m sorry to ask these questions. I just want to make sure everything I have is correct.” I nod my head acknowledging him.

“Now I need to know some of your current and deceased family members, if you can do that for me.”

“I believe I can.” I say, trying to be pleasant.

“Okay. How about their parents?”

“My grandparents on both sides died when I was young.”

“Any aunts, sisters, brothers, nieces, or nephews?”

“I have an aunt that lives in California. She is on her way now. She is my mother’s sister. Her name is Karen Barton. My dad didn’t have any siblings. I have a sister named Lucy Skye Falls.”

“As far as the funeral, what were you wanting to do.”

“I found out from the attorney that both my parents wanted to be cremated. Also, I found their life insurance policy, if you are needing that as well.”

“Great. I will need those. So if they are cremated, we can do this a couple of ways. We can have a service with their ashes sitting on the altar or have a service with a grave site. If you go with the grave site, we could have pillars put up with their names and dates of birth and death.”

This is too much,
I think as I close my eyes. I open them back up and say, “They would have wanted just a service. They were not flashy people or even attention seekers, so I think doing it that way would respect them better.”

“We can do that.” He writes it down in his files and looks back up. “Well, I guess that is it. Let me walk you two out and make copies of these papers, so I can have these on file.”

Alan’s hand is on the small of my back as Mr. Carson steps off to the side of the secretary’s desk to make copies.

He finishes and turns to me. “I will call you with all the information about the day of the service and time. Again, I am so sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you again.” I waive haphazardly and turn to leave.

The ride back home is just as quiet as the way there. I walk in and have a seat on the couch. I lie down and fall asleep only to wake up to my phone vibrating.

“Hello.”

“Hi, Miss Falls, this is Mr. Carson from the funeral home. I was calling to let you know we will be having the service in two days. On Wednesday at 2:00, we will be receiving friends and family to honor your parents.”

“All right. Thanks for calling.”

I hang up and throw myself back on the couch. In two days, they will be gone forever.

Chapter Ten

Gloom is the best way to describe the atmosphere in the house leading up to the funeral. It is the day of, and I don’t know how to feel. Do I feel sad, lonely, happy, or bitter? I don’t know what to feel. If anything, I feel detached from my body.

To make matters worse, I have been treating Alan like shit and pushing Chris away. I am treating them both unfairly. Alan more than Chris. I’m being a bitch. I can’t even stand to be around Alan anymore, and all he is trying to do is comfort me.

I feel dreadful because I am being selfish not wanting Alan, but I’m not telling him the truth about how I feel about him. He thinks my attitude is all to do with my parents, and yes, that’s part of it, but not all of it. I know I need to tell him, but I can’t seem to do it. It’s not the right time to tell him about the love I have for his friend instead of him.

Finishing my hair, I leave my room to dress Lucy and to fix her hair. I walk in to see her laying down on her bed, staring at the ceiling with a smile on her face.

“What’s the smile for, Luce?”

Turning her head towards me, she says, “I was talking to mama and daddy. They told me they loved us, and we would be okay.”

A lonely tear falls down my face. “We will be. Did you tell them we loved them too?”

She jumps out of the bed. “I sure did.”

I help her into her dress and braid her hair down her back. “Okay, I think we are ready. I love you more than my big toe, Lucy.”

“I love you more than my little toe,” she tells me, hugging me.

I grab her hand, and we walk to the living room to find the guys. They are sitting in silence, waiting on us to emerge. “We are ready.”

The service is nice with all the people my parents knew throughout the years, and the people they worked with showing their respect. By the end I have heard most of the same stories about my parents over and over again. I have plastered a smile on my face for so long to the point I think I am going to turn into The Joker.

My aunt has made it into town and has stayed by my side the entire day of the funeral. After our goodbyes are said and done, we leave to go wallow in our self-pity once again.

Each day goes into the next. I am having problems even keeping up with which day of the week it is. I make Alan and Chris leave. I need to be with my sister and no one else.

I have talked to Alan about every other day because he just will not leave me alone. I haven’t talked to Chris as much. We have texted a few times but no more than that.

My aunt makes the decision to stay in Georgetown to be close to the only family she once left for a man who left her broken. I am actually happy she does. I need some support around me without having the guilt. It’s the only thing that keeps me strong without falling to pieces.

After two weeks of Chris being gone, he shows up at my door one morning.

“Hey, sweetie. It’s just been hard without you or Lucy in my life.”

“I’m okay, Chris. Just trying to figure out what to do next.”

He walks in to the house, pulling me into a hug. “You know I still want you. These past two weeks have been hell on me. I know you still haven’t really dealt with that fact they are gone, sweetie, and I want to be here to hold you when you do. I want to kiss away your tears. I want to remind you over and over again that I love you. Please don’t shut me out anymore.”

I relax into his body. “I’m sorry. I won’t anymore.” I burry my face in his chest. “I have been doing a lot of thinking about my next step. Let’s go sit outside in the back yard, so we can talk.”

“Lead the way, sexy,” he says, letting me go.

“Yeah, because I really look sexy right now.”

We walk by the kitchen, and we see my aunt is making herself some coffee. “Aunt Karen, I’m going to be outside in the back talking to Chris.”

“Okay, hunny. You go ahead. I am going to watch a movie with Lucy,” she says, smiling so sweetly.

I open the door, step out, and walk towards the big oversized swing we have on the back deck. Chris is right behind me. He sits down beside me and pulls my feet into his lap.

“Talk to me, Jules.”

I exhale. “I have decided to buy a townhouse for me and Lucy to live in. I have also decided to find a job and get Lucy ready for school. I still want to be with you. I plan on telling Alan in the next day or two if you still want me, or if you don’t, I still need to let him go.”

Scooting closer to me, he grabs my face and kisses me gingerly. “I will always want you.”

“Good.”

I kiss him again, this time only for it to go into a full-on, wet, passionate kiss. We are all tongues and mouths when I hear, “What the fuck is going on?”

Chris and I quickly stop kissing and whip our heads to see Alan standing with his face completely red. He looks murderous. This is not good.

“Alan, we need to talk.”

He starts pacing. “You think? I can’t believe this. Well, I should have known. Hell, you showed me every sign of it. I was just blind to it.”

“Alan, I am really sorry. I wanted to tell you sooner but—”

“But what? You kept forgetting to or you just thought you would still string me along. I have been here for you through everything, and this is what I get? I deserve better than some whore who runs around with my friend.”

“Alan, I know you’re mad, man, but there is no reason to call her a whore. It isn’t like we planned on this. It just happened,” Chris says, walking in front of me.

“You know what, Chris, fuck you. You were supposed to be my friend, but you took my girl straight out from under me. I hope you two are happy together. You deserve each other. You can‘t keep your dick in your pants, and apparently, you can’t keep your legs closed.”

Before I know what happened, Chris has punched Alan right in his jaw. Alan comes back and hits him in the eye. I finally find my legs and jump in between them.

“Stop! If you don’t, you will hit me!”

“You two aren’t worth it. Have a good life.” He turns, storming back through the house until I hear the front door slam shut.

I turn to see Chris, and he is holding his eye. “Come on. Let’s get something on that.”

In the freezer, I find a bag of frozen peas. Walking back to the living room, I carefully place the bag of peas on Chris’ eye.

Sitting down beside him, I tell him, “That is not how I wanted that to go.”

“I know. Me either. He was pissed.”

“I think pissed is putting it nicely. He was completely furious. He will never talk to me again. I couldn’t even explain the whole situation. I need to talk to him.” I put my head down. In remorse, a tear dashes down my cheek.

Chris removes the bag from his eye and engulfs me in a hug. “Jules, I promise I will talk to him once he has cooled down. I don’t want him going psycho on you.”

I Inhale Chris’ smell. “You’re right, but I still can’t let this guilty feeling go. If something happens to him, Chris, I won’t be able to live with myself.” Tears are falling freely now.

“It’s okay, Jules. He will be fine. He just needs some time to get his head back together.”

We are wrapped up in each other when my Aunt Karen comes through the door with Lucy. They both have grocery bags in their hands. She and Lucy drop the groceries off in the kitchen before coming into the living room.

“Hey you two. How have things been—” She stops midsentence when I see her noticing Chris’ eye.

“It could be better, Aunt Karen.”

“Chrrrrriiiiissss. I have missed you.” Lucy comes bouncing in and jumps in his lap. “What happened to your eye?”

“I got hit in the eye,” he says, snickering.

Lucy, with the most serious look, says, “Did Alan do this to you?”

My eyes go wide waiting for Chris to answer her.

“Yes, baby, he did.”

She turns towards me. “So does this mean you don’t like Alan anymore because if you don’t, I am really happy.”

I start howling, not able to hold it in. I fall back on the couch, trying to catch my breath to talk, but it’s a lost cause. I can’t stop. I sit up to see Lucy looking at me, getting madder by the second.

I take in a deep breath. “When did you get so smart?”

“I have always been smart,” she says, smiling proudly.

“Well, to answer your question, and Aunt Karen, who looks like she is wanting an answer too, “Alan and I did break up, but not in the best way. I have liked Chris for some time now. We were going to tell Alan the night of the accident, but everything happened so quickly we never really got to do what we had planned. So yes, if Chris will have me, I hope to be his girlfriend.”

He leans over and kisses me on my lips then kisses Lucy’s head. “You always have been.”

Lucy leans over and kisses his cheek. “Good. I like you lots better.”

Leave it to that girl to say what she is feeling.