“Okay.”
“I’m worried about you.”
“No, don’t. You have work to do.”
Ryan didn’t like the way she sounded at all. “Work can wait. I’m coming over.” He hung up before she could argue, and on his way to Lisette’s house he called Jack.
“Hey man, you guys have a good time after we left?”
“Yeah, a great time, I think, but I called Lisette this morning, and she said she didn’t feel well. Then she started saying all this weird stuff I’ve never heard from her before.”
“Like what?”
“Was I happy with her? That I shouldn’t worry about her…that she hoped she was good last night.”
“Hmm,” his friend replied. “That sounds like classic subdrop talk to me. That was a pretty intense scene last night.”
“And then some stuff happened after you guys left too.” Ryan knew how guilty he sounded, but Jack seemed to take it in stride.
“Here, talk to Callie. She’s been through subdrop and might be able to help you identify if that’s the problem. Then I’ll come back on the line and tell you how to deal with it. Ryan, man, don’t freak out. This happens. Just make sure you take care of her. Even if she isn’t truly yours, you’re responsible for her well-being right now.”
Callie came onto the line. “Hi, Ryan. What’s this about Lisette?”
“She sounded strange when I called her this morning. Said she thought she might be getting sick. But then she started in with whether or not she pleased me last night, and then told me I had important stuff to do and I shouldn’t worry about her. She sounded really…” His lips pursed as he searched for the right word. “Disconnected or something.”
“Yeah, Jack’s right. That sounds like subdrop. I’ll give you back to Jack. He’s gone through the same thing with me a couple of times. He can help. And don’t hesitate to call us back if you feel overwhelmed or need more help. Okay?”
“Thanks, Callie.”
Jack came back on. “Okay, here’s what you do for subdrop.”
“Hang on. Let me pull over. I want to get to her, but I don’t want to miss anything important either.”
His friend waited until Ryan signaled him to continue. “The first thing you have to understand is that this is normal,” Jack said. “You didn’t do anything wrong; at least, nothing that I saw. Second, subdrop is not a rational thing. It has to do with the hormone levels in the sub’s body and a ton of other things. So you just do whatever she tells you she needs or your best guess at what she needs if she can’t or won’t tell you.”
“Okay, I can try that.”
“Dealing with subdrop is a lot like dealing with people with depression or anxiety. Your best option is to be there for the sub and mitigate any reactions she’s having. Like Callie said, don’t feel like you have to do this alone. Call us if you need to.”
“Thanks, bud.” Ryan hung up and swung back onto the road, his head full of the information Jack had given him. Despite all his research, he’d never heard of subdrop, but it wasn’t all that strange that someone who’d had all those endorphins and adrenaline coursing through her would be feeling it the next day.
When he got to Lisette’s house, a small cottage-style ranch, he rang the doorbell. No one answered, so he started pounding. Despite what Jack had said, Ryan was pretty freaked out, and Lisette not coming to the door was only making it worse. Finally she answered the door, and then just blinked and stood aside as if in shock as he shouldered his way in.
Ryan did the first thing he could think of. He pulled her into a tight hug and then gave her a kiss, ignoring her old pajamas and mussed hair. For once he let her lead the kiss to see what would happen, and when she didn’t respond, he pulled away and picked her up.
Lisette squeaked. “Put me down. I’ll hurt you.”
“You’re not going to hurt me. Where’s your bedroom? I want the comforter from your bed.”
Wordlessly she pointed down the hall. He stalked there with her tightly wrapped in his arms, unwilling to leave her alone even for a moment. Setting her down gently next to him, he pulled the thick, fluffy comforter off her bed and quickly threw it in the general direction of the couch in the living room. Then he hauled her up again and took her there too.
Ryan set her down in the middle of the couch, helped her lie down, and tucked the comforter around her before crouching near her head. He took her face in his hands. “Baby, I think you’re going through subdrop. Has anything like this ever happened to you before?” He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to tell her that’s what he thought was happening, but all Lisette did in response was shrug.
“I dunno. But I feel bad you came all the way over here. It’s probably just a sniffle.”
“You let me be the judge of how I should use my time. Have you eaten? Had anything to drink?” It was already nearly noon, and he shook his head when she admitted she hadn’t. “Do you drink coffee? Hot chocolate? Tea?”
“Anything is fine, but you really don’t have to fuss over me.”
If this had been during a scene, he would’ve been seriously considering spanking her for the topping from the bottom, but this wasn’t a scene. Right now she was a woman who needed some old-fashioned attention and affection. It wasn’t a hardship to give it to her.
“You stay right here. I’m going to go see what you have in the house.”
After taking a quick stock of the contents of her pantry, he brought her a big cup of cocoa, complete with marshmallows and a candy cane he’d found in a bowl on the counter, plus a plate of cookies. It was the best he could do for comfort food, and he hoped it would make her better.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. I want you to eat and drink some of this, and I’m going to make us both some lunch.” She began to argue, and he forestalled her. “I don’t want to hear anything about me not doing this. Aftercare is my job, and I’m happy to do it.” He picked up a cookie and looked at her. “Dunked or undunked?” She gave an exasperated little sigh that he tried not to take to heart.
“I’m not a child.”
He handed her the cookie. “Then eat them. I’ll be back.”
“Can you cook?”
He laughed. “If I couldn’t, I’d be starving right now, baby. Besides, I’m not getting crazy. I was thinking of soup and grilled cheese.”
“That’s what my mom makes me when I don’t feel good.”
“It should be perfect, then.” Pointing to the plate again, Ryan repeated, “Eat,” and then went back into the kitchen. He heard the telltale crunch of a cookie being bitten into and was surprised how relieved he felt. As Ryan moved around Lisette’s kitchen, finding all the necessary ingredients for their lunch, he felt his heart rate slow. Now that he knew what was happening and how to handle it, even though he was sure Jack had only given him the basics, he felt so much better.
He’d just turned her grilled cheese over in the pan when he stopped dead. At some point over the past month, Lisette had become increasingly important to him. But as what? A submissive? A girlfriend? Something else? Could you even put a label on it? He’d found BDSM didn’t fit into a neat little box. There were so many variations and ways to do things, it seemed like a person just went with whatever worked for him.
After bringing her food into the living room, he was pleased to see she’d eaten two of the cookies. When his own lunch was prepared, he joined her. “Want to watch a movie?”
“Um, sure.”
“Do you have a favorite you like to watch over and over, or should we look for one through the television?”
Lisette squirmed. “You wouldn’t like any of the ones I’d want to watch.”
“Try me.” Purposefully he rose and opened the doors of the small media cabinet underneath her television set. “Hmm.”
“See? They’re stupid.”
Ryan had to suppress his first reaction and instead responded, “No, they’re not. Look. You’ve got
Ocean’s Eleven
. That’s one of my favorite movies. And
Home for the Holidays
? Have you watched that one lately? It’s hilarious and certainly timely. Robert Downey Jr. steals that movie, as usual.”
“You like
Home for the Holidays
?”
“It’s one of my favorite movies.” And one he watched year-round, but he didn’t tell her that for some reason. “Let’s watch that. We can snuggle, have some more food, more hot chocolate… That sounds like a great way to spend a cold day to me.” And it did, especially with Lisette all wrapped up with him.
She looked doubtful. “Don’t you have things to do? Plus, I’m a mess.”
“I want to be here with you, and I don’t care what you look like. You women are way too hard on yourselves.”
“But”—she motioned toward him—“look at you. You’re showered; you’re dressed; you’re wearing cologne.”
“I always wear cologne, and I figured I’d try not to scare the neighbors by running around my house naked.” That got a little smile to peek out.
“If I was your neighbor, I wouldn’t mind.”
“Yeah, well, old Mr. Finkelstein doesn’t want to see my schlong hanging out, I’m guessing.”
Her smile grew, and Ryan actually felt his chest puff out a little. After trying and failing again and again to make his ex-wife happy, it was kind of nice to know he still had it, that Lisette thought he was funny.
She started to rise. “I should take a shower.”
“Your food is hot. Eat.”
Ryan waited until she sat again. He got up and, after popping the movie in the DVD player, he sat by her side. They finished eating. He made sure to watch both Lisette and the movie to verify she was actually putting food in her mouth. When she was done, he pulled her to lie back against him on the couch and wrapped both arms around her. It wouldn’t take long for his right arm to fall asleep in that position, but he paid it no heed. Lisette seemed to be enjoying the movie and had hopefully stopped obsessing over him being there.
She shifted, putting her delectable ass closer to his groin, and he had to stifle a groan. Much as he was enjoying cuddling with her, he wasn’t dead, and he knew what it felt like to fuck her ass. Ryan had never experienced anything like it before. His dick twitched, and he ruthlessly tamped it down. Now was not a good time to make her feel obligated to give him sex.
When the movie finished, Lisette insisted on showering, and Ryan practically sat on his hands so he wouldn’t join her. Though he sincerely wanted to comfort her, and being a Dom was definitely teaching him self-control, he was far from there at the moment. The sight of her wet, naked body would do him in for sure.
She came back a while later in jeans and a long-sleeved T-shirt and looked at the table, where he’d laid out more food and drinks. “Are you trying to make me fat?”
“I don’t like skinny girls. I feel like I’m going to break them. Besides, I’ll be here to help you get rid of this stuff.”
“You’re staying?”
Lisette sounded surprised but not disappointed. “I’d like to. I thought we could watch
Ocean’s Eleven
while I give you a back rub.”
“You don’t need to baby me.”
He pulled her onto his lap and tucked his nose into her hair. Why did women’s shampoo always smell so freaking good? “It’s not like it’s a hardship.” Gripping her delicate earlobe in his teeth, he pulled gently and then licked over the spot. “Not a hardship at all.”
She sighed and then giggled. Ryan pulled back. “What was that for?”
“Um, you mentioned not a hardship, but I beg to differ.”
Lisette squirmed on his lap, and he couldn’t stifle the groan. “That’s an automatic reaction to you. Why wouldn’t I be hard? I’ve got a gorgeous, warm, soft woman on my lap.” He kissed her neck again and then moved the collar of her T-shirt to bite down on her shoulder. A little cry spilled out of Lisette’s mouth.
He would’ve gladly taken things further but didn’t know if sex was a good idea. She seemed better, but maybe he shouldn’t press anything. Lisette tilted to give him better access.
“Have I ever told you how much I love your mouth?”
Ryan pulled away and then trailed a fingertip over the full lips that drove him crazy. “And I yours,” Ryan returned, giving her a tender smile. “I’ll be right back, and we can start
Ocean’s Eleven
.”
“Okay.”
Ryan went into the bathroom and argued with himself. They could have sex if she wanted to, but he’d have to watch out how rough he got. She might not be emotionally ready for a scene, and he didn’t want to mess her up more. But was having vanilla sex in her house even considered a scene? His mind whirled but finally settled on one thing.
Give her what she needs. If she needs sex, she needs sex.
Chapter Eight
Ryan skulked out of the bathroom and found Lisette exactly where he’d left her. This time he lay down flat on his back on the couch and pulled her on top of him, settling the large comforter over both of them. She snuggled in and gazed down at him, the light coming back into her eyes.
“Thank you for this.”
“I told you, not a hardship. I wanted to. I like being here.”
“I like having you here. It’s kind of nice to be with someone over the weekend, just to hang out and be lazy. Most of my friends prefer to go out to dinner or something, and that’s great too, but I really enjoy being home like this.”
“Me too. I’m flexible.” Lisette smirked, and he rolled his eyes. “But when it comes down to it, give me a beer, a great couch like this one, and a good game or a movie, and I’m a happy guy.”
Lisette scooted a little farther down, made a fist on his chest, and propped her chin on it. “So…”
He raised a brow. “So…”
“I can still feel your ‘hardship’, as it were.”
“And?”
“Can I help you with that?”
“Do you want to? This isn’t a scene.”
“I know, but yes, I do want to. If I’m being honest, I was disappointed when you couldn’t come in on Monday after we went out to dinner. I was kind of hoping we could see how vanilla sex works for us.”
“I’m sorry. I had to grade those exams.”
“Don’t apologize. I know you did. That doesn’t mean I wasn’t disappointed, though. Also, if we’re being honest, I think you were right and I was feeling some subdrop stuff. It has never happened to me, but I’ve seen it in other subs. I should’ve recognized the symptoms myself.”