Master of Space and Time (21 page)

“It was the wife's fault!” I exclaimed. “It was the wife's fault that they ended up with nothing.”

“It wasn't the wife who kept going back to bother the magic fish,” said Sybil, looking at me through a haze of smoke. “The fisherman should have thought for himself. I know another three-wish fairy tale, too.”

“I've heard it,” I interrupted. “‘The Peasant and the Sausage.'”

“Yes,” said Sybil. “And I suppose you blame the wife in that one too, don't you, Joe?” She was just backing up Nancy because they were both women.

“Of course it was the wife's fault. If she hadn't asked for that stupid sausage—”

“And what if the husband hadn't been so mean? They would have had two good wishes left. A husband should think for himself and keep his temper.”

I was going to yell something back, but Bitter interrupted me. “Don't try to argue with Sybil. It's hopeless. I'll try and get you the yellow gluons, Joe, but Nancy will have to be the one to get blunzed.”

“All right,” I sighed. “But what are you going to wish for, Nancy? Make sure you get me back my right body, and get Harry and Sondra and me out of trouble with the law.”

“I'll wish what I like,” said Nancy tartly. That Sybil was a bad example, a real troublemaker.

“I made a big wish once,” said Alwin suddenly. “It was a long time ago. I was involved with a dangerous experiment—an experiment even more dangerous than yours, Joe. It gave me endless power, but the world was being destroyed. I had to use my power to renormalize reality. I had to use my power to get rid of my power.”

“Do all the wish stories have to end that way?” protested Nancy. “With everyone back where they started?”

“One could argue that the world is perfect just as it is,” said Bitter. “The world is the sum of all our wishes about it. And all of us are aspects of the One.”

“I understand,” said Nancy softly. “I understand, Alwin.”

“Well, I sure don't,” I said, rising to my feet. My skirt was rucked up awkwardly around my waist. I patted at my big hips, trying to smooth the fabric down. “Come on, Dr. Bitter, less talk and more action. Let's go get those gluons.”

“All right. I'll make a phone call first.”

Nancy and I said goodbye to Serena while Bitter made his call. Sybil kept staring at me in curiosity. She seemed fascinated by the idea of a man trying to move a woman's body around.

“Don't you like being a woman?” she asked me finally.

“No, it's too hard. There's a fairy tale about that too, isn't there?”

“That's right,” said Sybil. “‘The Farmer Who Would Keep House.'” Her soft eyes were dancing and her broad mouth was amused. It was hard to stay mad at this woman.

“Can you watch Serena just a little longer?” asked Nancy.

“I have to go meet a friend,” said Sybil. “But my daughter Ida will be home from school soon. She'll keep an eye on Serena. Make a good wish, Nancy!”

“It's all set,” said Bitter, coming back into the room. “Tri Lu has some yellow gluons you can have for one million dollars.”

“Let's go.”

Alwin and Nancy and I set out on foot. Lu's office wasn't far.

T
RI
Lu had big teeth, a skinny yellow face, and an unruly shock of dry, black hair. It was love at first sight.

“Ah Joe Fletcher you?” Long, jerky laughter. “You very lucky!” More laughter. He stuck out his thumb and pinkie and put his hand to his ear—miming a telephone call. “I talk Dr. Baumgard. He very angry you.”

“Has he called the police?”

“He want information you promise. He want right away. You sit my lap now, Joe. I call.” He was laughing again, pulling in lungfuls of air between each spasm.
Hohawhaha-gasp-hohawhahaha-gasp
. Finally it turned into a coughing fit and he buried his face in his hands. He was embarrassed by how much he wanted me.

“Are you sure this is the right guy?” I asked old Bitter.

“Yes. He's our finest experimentalist. If he can't help you, no one can.”

“I don't like the way he looks at you, Joe,” said Nancy.

Nervously I reached up to ruffle my hair. Tri Lu had recovered now. He was watching me. He was ready to eat me alive, drumsticks first.

“Why don't you two wait outside,” I told Nancy and Alwin. “Dr. Lu and I will work this out.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Please leave us alone till I call you. Go for a walk or something.”

They went out and I closed the office door. I leaned against it, hands behind my back, and gave Tri Lu my biggest smile. He smiled back.

“Come here, Joe. I dial.”

I went and sat in Lu's lap while he dialed Baumgard's number. It seemed like the easiest thing to do. Hell, I had nothing to be scared of. I had twenty pounds on the guy, easy.

“I hope I'm not too heavy for you, Dr. Lu.”

He handed me the receiver and threw his arms around me. “Good fat American cowgirl. I love.”

“Hello?” quacked the little voice on the phone. “Baumgard here.”

“Dana. This is Joe Fletcher.” Lu had his hands on my breasts. The nipples were starting to tingle. It was hard to concentrate on the secret of the universe. “I'm in Tri Lu's office, and he said I should call you, so . . .” I broke off in a squeal as Lu's hungry Vietnamese fingers dug too far into my ripe American flesh.

“You sound odd, Fletcher. Has something happened to you?”

“I'll say. Never mind. I wanted to call you about the reason why things exist.”

“The experiment was a success?”

“Yes. The universe is a sort of perpetual motion machine. It funnels energy from the future back to the past. The universe is a self-excited system.”

A pause. Then, “That's not enough, Fletcher. Where does the whole system come from at all? The world-snake bites its tail—fine. Where did the snake come from?”

Lu was trying to force his hand between my thighs now. I had my knees pressed tight together, but I could feel myself weakening. This skinny little guy was awfully cute. “What did you say, Dana?”

“Where does the self-generating universe come from?”

“Uh—I don't know. I didn't ask. I just looked at the Big Bang. I helped the universe make the Big Bang.”

“This won't do, Fletcher. I'm in trouble over the missing gluons. I should call the police and—”

“Would you take a million dollars?” Lu was straining his face upward toward mine for a kiss. I let him have one. He tasted nice. I noticed I still had the phone in my hand. Oh, yes, Baumgard. “I'll give you a million dollars,” I repeated and hung up.

I made sure the office door was locked, and then I let Tri Lu take off all my clothes. He swarmed onto me like an excited tick. I was huge
and beautiful. We made love. I was glad to finally do it. I was glad to be a sexy woman.

An hour passed, maybe more. The office windows had Venetian blinds, and the afternoon sun was striping us with shadows. I sat up, remembering Nancy. Time to get dressed again, time to cover up.

I watched Tri Lu stepping awkwardly into his underwear. I loved him. He was a person, a person who wanted to be happy. I was happy, but I still wanted something more. I wanted yellow gluons.

“I have two million dollars,” I said, taking the packets of bills from my purse. “One for you, one for Dana.”

“Silly paper. Not worth like good love me you.” He gave me one of his all-purpose smiles. His long hair stuck straight up from the top of his head.

“Oh, Lu.” I hugged him one last time. “Thank you so much.”

“I thank more. Soft cowgirl.” He kissed his fingers and touched my breasts. I patted his cheek and then took out my compact to check my makeup. Hopelessly smeared. Nancy would know. Well, let her. I had to use my femaleness at least once, didn't I?

We left the money on Lu's desk and took the elevator down to the basement laboratory. There was a giant linear accelerator there, a silver tube stretching off down a tunnel leading out of the basement. Our end of the accelerator—the business end—was surrounded by a thicket of machinery. To one side
of the machinery was a table littered with papers and rubber bands.

“Quark and gluon,” Lu said, stepping over to the table. “Look, Joe.” He handed me a little model, a single band of rubber with rubber-cement globs at either end. The blackened globs were the size of acorns.

“Like quark,” said Lu, pointing to one of the globs. “Gluon connect.” He strummed the rubber band.

I toyed with the little model for a minute. As long as the quark-globs were near each other, they experienced no particular attraction. But if you tried to pull them apart, the connecting band stretched tighter and tighter, drawing the quarks back together.

“If cut here,” said Lu, pointing at the middle of the band, “make two new quark.”

If the gluon was a band holding the quarks together, the quarks could be thought of as the ends of the gluon-band. Cutting the band would make two new loose ends, two new quarks.

“Instead I pinch off,” said Lu, handing me a different model. It was like the first one, except here the connecting gluon-band had been folded back to meet itself and form a loop. If you pinched the loop free, you'd get a circular gluon-band, a free gluon with no quarks attached.

“Two year work,” said Lu, starting to laugh again. He was handing me a little magnetic bottle from a cabinet by the accelerator. “One thirtieth gram yellow gluons. Million dollar.” His laughter slid into another coughing fit.

I opened the little bottle and looked inside. The gluons were yellow as the sun in water, yellow as Lu, yellow as an ear of corn. Hot, golden yellow. I put the bottle in my purse.

We said our goodbyes and I left the physics building to look for Nancy. I found her with Alwin on a stone bench a few hundred meters off. Leaves were blowing around, and the bright air was like cold water.

“You're a mess,” said Nancy. “What took so long?”

I didn't answer. Instead I held up the gluons. “Here they are. Enough gluons for two and a half seconds. Have you figured out your wish?”

“I want to know what you did to smear your makeup like that, Joe.”

“You know. I had to. I had to do it, Nancy.”

“God, you're disgusting.” She turned her face down and picked at a spot on her pants. Suddenly we were both in tears.

“I'm sorry, Nancy. I'm sorry I'm so twisted up. But the gluons will make everything right again. I'm sure they will.” I sat down on Bitter's other side. “Tell her, Alwin. Tell her I love her.”

“You tell her,” said Bitter, getting to his feet. “I'm going home.”

So I told Nancy that I loved her. I told her I wanted things to be the same again, only better. I told her I'd only let Lu have me so he would sell me the gluons. After a while Nancy believed me. A little longer, and I believed it too.

“So what are you going to wish for?” I asked when we'd finished making up.

“I was talking to Alwin and—I think I have an
idea,” said Nancy. “But I want to make sure I do it right. Could you explain about the Planck length again?”

“The Planck length is ordinarily about 10
^-33
centimeters,” I said. “Much smaller than an atom or an elementary particle. The Planck length is the size scale below which ordinary physics breaks down. There's no cause and effect for things smaller than Planck length. There's total uncertainty down there, and anything can happen. Now, the idea behind the blunzer is to magnify the Planck length all the way up to one meter. When you get blunzed, the Planck length will get that big in a region around your head. So for a few seconds you'll be in a zone of total uncertainty. Anything you want to have happen will be true.”

“What if the Planck length blew up to ten meters? Couldn't several people get blunzed at once then?”

“Yeah, I guess so. Only one person really needs to get the injection. The brain acts as a kind of amplifier.”

“What injection?”

“The final stage of getting blunzed is where a needle jabs in through your fontanelle—you know, where Serena had her soft spot?”

“Right on top of my head?” Instinctively Nancy raised her hand to her scalp. “Does it hurt?”

“No, not really. You hear a sort of crunching, but it doesn't hurt. And then you're blunzed.”

“You say I'll only have two seconds?”

“Two and two-fifths, actually. Now will you tell me what your wish is going to be?”

“No. Alwin told me not to. He said you might try to change my mind.”

“Well, I'm not going to argue with you,” I sighed. “Just make sure I get my body back. Shall we fly to New Brunswick?”