Mated in Mist (7 page)

Again, he needed to move past the thoughts in his head and work on the words that wouldn’t seem to come.

“Do you have another mate in mind?” she asked, her voice emotionless.

He cursed. “No. I don’t have
any
mate in mind. That’s the point.”

Her eyes widened again. “So, that means what?”

He took a step forward and put his hand out, only to let it fall. “My wolf wants you, but the man can’t have you.” Won’t. “So, even though the mating urge will ride hard, know you’re safe from me. There will be nothing between us but friendship. If that’s what you want. Or, if you’d prefer nothing, then you can stay with one of my siblings. They will keep you safe while you heal and decide what your plan is.”

She studied his face, and he’d have given the world to have the power to hear her thoughts. His wolf raged inside, screaming at him to take the words back. His wolf didn’t understand. He never did. He didn’t know why the flipside of Ryder’s powers was so horrible. He only saw the woman in front of them, the one woman for them. The wolf only saw rejection from the human it was supposed to trust with everything it had, not the full extent of the agony Ryder felt.

And yet, Ryder felt what the wolf did, so all in all, his world was ending deep inside the cavernous depths of his soul. But he had to remain stoic.

He couldn’t tell her that he was saving her from a life of anguish and a grey existence. He couldn’t tell her because he’d never told a soul why he was the quiet one. He’d never told his family why he was the one to curl into himself when he should have been the one to stand proudly beside his Alpha.

“I can’t think about this, Ryder. It’s too much. I know you had to get it off your chest, but that’s all it can be right now.”

She raised her chin.

“You may not want to tell me
why
you feel that you can’t have a mate right now. Maybe someday you will. And maybe one day when I’m not grieving and freaking the fuck out over my life, I’ll listen. But for now, I just want to go to bed. Can I do that? Can I just sleep? Maybe I’ll wake up and it’ll all be a dream.”

“We can do that,” he said after a tense moment. “I didn’t mean to make your burden worse than it already is.”

She shook her head and held up her hand. “I get it. If you hadn’t explained, I’d honestly just be thinking about what the magic within me wants. I’m going to stay here, though, rather than go somewhere else. I might not know what to do with the magic that flows through my veins every day, but I trust the way it helps me know what choices to make. So I want to stay here. I feel safe with you. Even if I don’t understand why.”

His wolf scraped the inside of his skin, this time leaving jagged marks along his body. He needed to shift. Now. Yet the fact that she trusted him calmed him enough to know he’d be able to make it to the edge of the woods rather than shift in front of her.

“I’ll show you to your room,” he said woodenly.

She followed him to the back of the house and stayed silent as he showed her around the guest room and bathroom. There was a stack of clothes on the bed that smelled of Brynn, and he couldn’t help but think that his sister saw far too much. All the Brentwoods did.

He let out a shaky breath as his claws slid through the skin on his fingertips.

Time was up.

“I need to go on a run,” he growled out.

She turned on her heel and stared at him. Whatever she saw didn’t scare her openly, but he knew if he didn’t get out of there fast, he couldn’t be responsible for his actions.

“Go,” she said simply.

“I’ll turn on the security panel for you. When I get back, I’ll get your handscan turned in so you can come and go as you please.” Sweat beaded on his brow and he dug his claws into his skin, the slight sting of pain relieving his wolf ever so slightly.

He nodded at her, refusing to touch her, though his wolf demanded it, and walked as quickly as he could out of his house and toward the woods. He couldn’t let the others know how close to the edge he was. He couldn’t let them down. If they saw him now, they’d lose their faith in his abilities to protect them. And at a time where they needed all the faith they could get, his breakdown would be disastrous.

When he reached his secret part of the woods where the trees gathered to form a sort of glen, he fell to his knees. He clawed off his clothes, too far gone to save them. He’d have to go home as wolf, but he couldn’t care right then.

He pulled on the thread that connected wolf to man and let the change come. Each wolf changed differently, the pain coming in waves for some, warm agony for others.

For him, it was torture—depravity and chaos each time.

It didn’t ease as he aged, didn’t lessen with practice.

Instead, he screamed inwardly as bones broke, tendons tore, and his skin flayed itself over and over. His body became sweat-slick, and he emptied his stomach until it became dry heaves. Usually, he shifted enough and controlled his wolf with enough strength that he didn’t show the others his pain.

But when he fought his wolf like this he couldn’t hold back.

When he was finally wolf, his body ached and his joints felt as if they’d been glued together wrong. He threw back his head and howled, knowing the others would hear his song, but hopefully not register the meaning behind it.

He’d run through the woods, let the wind and magic of his den flow through his fur and allow his wolf to mourn the loss of what they could never have.

Ryder had been born with the secret darkness of a long-lost tradition and had kept it close to his heart all this time. He’d known he’d have to break his soul and wolf when he finally met the one woman who could be his, but he hadn’t known it would hurt like this.

He’d lost his future before he’d even had a chance to venture on the path. And yet, it was for the best. It had to be. Because if it weren’t, all of this was for nothing. And with the world’s foundation crumbling beneath their feet, he couldn’t afford to wallow in the pity of his decisions. He’d have to move on and show the world—and Leah—he was strong.

It was just another lie in a sea of many. But he would do it. For her. For him. For everyone.

General Keith Montag did not believe in failure. At least not his. For if he failed, then it was because the ones around him hadn’t excelled to their true potential. For the most part, he didn’t allow others to fail around him. Therefore, he didn’t fail.

So when his men had come up empty when it came to their prey, he’d punished them.

They didn’t deserve to breathe another breath, but he couldn’t have humans dying until the time was right. Of course, a few had died when the male witch fought back, but Montag had used that to his advantage. Leaking the video to the media had been the plan all along, but the fact that his men had died in the process had only made the reveal that much sweeter.

Now the population was not only scared of the raving beasts, but also of the abominations that looked human.

He’d use that fear.

He always did.

Of course, the plan hadn’t gone the way he’d truly wanted it to. He’d
wanted
to take the twin witches in to study them. The matching set of water witches would have helped his research tenfold. The one that had led him on the path to the witches had promised him that their potential was unmatched. Montag had wanted to use that for his men, either by finding a way to harness that power or by having them join him on his side of unity.

Then the witches had fought back in a way he hadn’t predicted.

They’d also run to the damn wolves and gotten too close for comfort.

His men had shot the witches, and the wolves had taken the bodies. He still didn’t know if they were alive or dead, but what he
did
know was that he didn’t have them in hand. He’d find out what happened and do what he could to get them back. The one that had betrayed the twins in the first place had promised great things, and Montag wanted everything that came with that.

His men had failed.

And that couldn’t be allowed.

His men had been unsuccessful at taking care of the wolf problem a year ago on that grassy hill during the Unveiling, as well.

He was becoming impatient. And when he was impatient, people died.

Montag stormed through the building, glancing through the circle windows in each door. Screams echoed from the rooms as the experiments continued, but Montag only thought of that as progress. Without loss, without study, he couldn’t move on to the next phase. Wolves and witches cried and growled, but their bodies were part of the science that came with his strategy.

The coppery scent of blood in the air just proved that progress was being made.

He passed the chambers where the cages lay and entered the large gym where his men trained. They were his secret team, one that would lead to great things. They didn’t know it yet, but these human soldiers would be his greatest accomplishment in the supernatural world.

There were twenty men. The best of the best, hand-picked for this assignment. Only they didn’t know the extent of their duties—nor did they know what went on beneath their feet. Soon, Montag would enlighten them. But first, he needed them trained.

His best soldier was a man named Shane Bruins. The man was a machine—smart, agile, and strong as hell. If it weren’t for the fact that Bruins seemed to think more than he should, he’d be perfect. The damn man didn’t exactly question orders, but Montag could see the thoughts in his eyes.

Bruins would be the first to see the next step of his strategy.

Then Bruins would question no more.

He’d be Montag’s perfection.

His plan.

His immortality.

If Leah were a wolf, she would howl at the moon until the pain within her soul didn’t feel so deep. The irony of her situation, her presence within the den, was not lost on her, but it didn’t help alleviate the agony.

They were burying her brother today.

Never again would she hear his laugh, see the water dance along his skin as he played a game. She’d never see him smile or see him spell. He would never find a woman to love, who would love him in return. He would never raise little babies and let her hold them. Those babies would never call her Aunt Leah. She would never be able to spoil them and show them water tricks to play on their dad.

All of it lost in a moment of terror and panic.

And yet, it didn’t seem quite real.

Because they weren’t part of a coven, Roland wouldn’t be put to ground like their ancestors. Of course, their mother hadn’t been either, as she’d died in a hovel, out of sight of those who would shame her and her children. As each year passed, Leah knew her fate would be the same.

She would die alone and be buried within land that was not hers.

However, the wolves buried her brother with the same care they would have their Pack. They bowed their heads and said their prayers to the goddess. Gideon and Brandon spoke words of solace while the neighboring Pack, the Redwoods, sent some of their own to honor Roland.

She didn’t understand the depth of their devotion to peace and the strength of the Pack, but she knew she would be forever grateful for these moments.

As she would be forever grateful to Ryder, who stood by her side the entire time. He never spoke a word, but held her hand and let her cry when she needed to. He didn’t bring her close or whisper platitudes. No words would help at the moment, and Ryder seemed to understand that.

When they let the final pieces of earth fall between their fingers over Roland’s grave, Leah shut off a part of herself. She couldn’t function while grieving, and she needed every ounce of her strength to survive. She was living among the wolves for the time being, but that could turn on a dime. She didn’t know who was after her in truth, but now she needed to figure it out because the world knew witches were real. Not only that, but she also had a feeling the Coven wasn’t too happy with her.

Of course, they had
never
been happy with her.

Hence why she’d lived the way she had for so long.

“Are you ready to go?” Ryder asked, his voice low.

The Brentwoods had each come to her to give their condolences, but the other Pack members had kept their distance. It made sense, as they didn’t know her but had still come to pay their respects. Either that or they had come to see the witch who had broken the news to the world.

She looked over her shoulder at the burial plot that would one day be covered in flowers and nodded. “Yes. I’m ready.”

“Leah?”

She turned at the soft voice behind her.

A strikingly beautiful woman with raven-black hair and light brown skin stood next to a tall, very muscular, and very sexy black man. He stood straight but almost hovered over her without actually hovering. It was as if he had to be near her but couldn’t be close at the same time.

She had no idea how she truly knew that, other than the fact that she was a water witch, and sometimes her empathy clung to those around her that her magic needed to touch. She’d never had the chance to practice, as she hadn’t stayed in one place long enough to form the connections needed. The magic had never worked with her mother or twin—probably because they were her blood and had similar gifts. The fact that she could feel it so quickly with some of the Talons—and now some of the Redwoods from the look of it—surprised her.

“Charlotte, Bram.” Ryder’s voice startled her, but she did her best not to show it. “Leah, these are my friends from the Redwood Pack. Charlotte is Maddox and Ellie’s daughter, who you met earlier. Bram is a soldier.”

If she remembered correctly, soldiers were wolves in the center of the dominant hierarchy that could move up to enforcers or lieutenants depending on the Pack. Their strength of wolf and dominance was ever-changing. Leah was pretty sure all wolves were able to move up and down the totem pole other than those who were in the royal line. Those titles were given to them by the goddess and only changed when the next generation grew into power.