Matteo (12 page)

Chapter 21

I’ve gone mad.

It’s 9:27 at night and I’m pounding on her door.

The door opens a crack and Ellie peeps out, only her grey irises coming into view. “Matteo?” Her eyes are wide.

“Let me in, Ellie –“

“Why are you here?” She takes a step back and the door swings open. She’s standing there in nothing but a long, white oversized t-shirt. Her hair is piled on top of her head in a messy bun. Her feet are bare, tiny and perfect.

I feel my damn heart pick up speed again.

I reach down and pull her face into my hands. I need to taste her. Urgently.

I want to feel each inch of her wetness gripping me, rippling around my fingers. I want to fuck her, slow and steady until she’s crumbling in my hands. Sweet, feisty pink-haired thing.

I think she wants that, too.

My arms circle her hips as I hoist her up. Her legs wrap around my waist. Her fingers slide into my hair. I carry her over to her bed and lay her down on the sheets. She undoes the buttons of my shirt as I climb over her, gliding her shirt up over her head.

“Matteo…” She’s breathless as she whispers my name.

Just as she yanks my zipper down, I reach into my pocket and pull out the condom I’d slipped in there before I left my office this afternoon. Gripping the protection in my hand, I lean down and claim her mouth again.

The kiss is ferocious. I kiss her like I’m trying to devour her, conquer her. She whimpers beneath me, kissing back with just as much intensity as I’m giving. Her thighs part. My hand slides up under her skirt. My fingers ghost across her lace-covered slickness. Breathless, I pull back so I can see her, look at her beautiful face. In the dimly-lit room, all I see are shadows. The curve of her nose, the fullness of her lips, the angle of her chin. And still, it’s all beautiful.

I grab a handful of her perfect breasts and caress them. She writhes beneath me, reaching for something, anything to hold onto. I bring my mouth to her chest and draw her pebbled nipple between my lips. She groans as her back arches off of the bed. She grabs onto the twisted, bronze metal of her wrought iron bed frame and squeezes until her knuckles go cold.

“I can’t breathe…” she mutters.

My mouth slides up to her throat and I press my lips against the warm flesh. “Relax, my Ellie. Let me make you feel good.” My only goal right now is to gift this woman with complete and utter satisfaction.

“I want you inside of me,” she whispers into the tense air.

I growl. “I want that, too. My cock belongs inside of you, Ellie.”

She whimpers helplessly as she shimmies out of her panties.

It takes just a moment to rip the condom out of its package and roll it onto my steely cock. My fingers swipe across her core and she’s so, so wet. I need to bee inside of her. Now.

I roar as I roll my hips, burying my cock deep inside of her. She purrs in response. Finding my rhythm is easy. Instant. We fit together so well. I thrust into her again and again and we both disappear into the pleasure.

Her legs wrap tight around me and I roll and glide and pump into her. It feels like my body was made to fuck hers. Sex has never felt this good, this satisfying. I get harder with each thrust. And she gets wetter and tighter and louder. We’re both desperate for each other. Desperate for release.

I feel it creeping up on me.

“Matteo!” She screams my name. She’s ready.

It steal her lips into my mouth again and I grip her waist. Her legs tighten around me as I pump hard, sending her over the edge. Her whole body strains and her eyes squeeze shut as the orgasms demolishes her.

It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. It’s too much for me.

Every part of me tenses. My breath gets lost in my chest. My heart hammers against my ribcage. And I explode from within.

“Ellie.” Her name comes out hoarse and raspy.

She reaches up and strokes my stubbly chin. “Matteo…” She says my name so softly.

I’m still seeing stars as I collapse onto the bed beside her, trying to calm my erratic breathing. She’s smiling in the dark. I can hear it in the melody of her breathing.

She lays her head on my chest and I can’t help threading my fingers through her silky hair. I feel my breathing regulate, my heart no longer slamming against my ribcage.

This feels…
right
.

I want to stay like this for a long time, just here with her in my arms. I’ve never felt this with any other woman.

She’s quiet, lying there tracing her finger along my collarbone. I place a kiss on her forehead and her head jerks up, her eyes looking straight into mine, worry stretching across her brow. “Don’t go falling in love with me, eh?”

I laugh – it’s a dark, ominous sound meant to override the tugging I feel in the center of my chest. “My sweet Ellie – I wouldn’t know how to fall in love even if I tried.” Meanwhile, the confusing swirl in the pit of my stomach questions whether it’s not already too late – what I feel for her – what if it
is
love?

The fog of apprehension seems to lift from her face, chased away by a wave of relief. “Have you ever been?” she asks, innocence tinting her voice.

“Been where?” I ask distractedly.

“In love?”

I scrunch my eyebrows at her as if that’s the most ridiculous question I’ve ever heard. “Have you?”

Her eyes roll back into her head. “You never just answer a question, do you?” I chortle as she flips over onto her back and looks solemnly at the ceiling. “I guess I should say ‘yes’. The last guy I dated seriously, we were together for two years. But our relationship always felt…calculated…mathematical. He was good-looking plus he had his own business plus he’d just bought his own apartment…but there was no
spark.
I kept waiting for it to come but it never did.”

I lie there quietly, just absorbing her words. It makes me sad, knowing that she’s never had love. She deserves it. She deserves to find someone who makes her heart sing.

“My mother always says that love is about chemistry. It’s about finding someone who makes your skin tingle when they touch you and makes your heart go ‘boom’.” She pauses, her words lingering in the air.

I don’t say anything because I don’t know how to tell her that’s exactly how she makes me feel.

She continues. “But then again, what does she know? She’s an elegant, whimsical Parisian thing who fell for a married man, had a bastard baby, and pretty much ruined her life with a string of poor choices, so what does she know, right?” Her chuckle is tentative, unsure, almost nervous.

This isn’t supposed to happen. This isn’t supposed to happen,
I repeat to myself over and over. I’m not supposed to feel this way for Ellie.

But the truth is that I want the parts of her that are gentle and unscathed with the same frightening intensity that I want the pieces that are rough and bruised, damaged, torn to shreds. I don’t know what to make of this feeling but I think it might be what they call ‘love’.

“I’ve always preferred Biology to both Chemistry and Mathematics.” I say that more to break the tension – to make her laugh – than because it’s true.

She giggles into my chest. “So, I’m guessing you’ve never been in love either.”

“No, I haven’t. I’ve always found it hard to relate to strangers on an emotional level. It’s always been easier to form a no strings attached physical connection and just go my way at the end of the night.” But, with Ellie, I feel my armor – that hardened shell that keeps me shut off from the rest of the world – it’s beginning to crack.

She bites her bottom lip and looks at me. “Well, I guess that once you get to know someone, they’re not a stranger anymore. Then, you can start building a connection with them.”

“But, why would I want to? I’ve never wanted to.” Even as I say the words, I question if they’re still true.

She smiles wryly. “And you call
me
jaded.”

I push a hard puff of air past my lips. “You’re a lot of things, Ms. Parker.” I twirl her hair around my finger.

Just then, my phone jingles, that ringtone that let’s me know that I’ve got to go home. It’s Catalina. I have responsibilities. I can’t just stay here with Ellie all night, even though I want to.

“You’ve got to go?” She asks softly, in a vulnerable tone that makes me wish I could take her with me. I hold her close and kiss her tenderly because I can’t.

When she pulls away, she gives me a soft smile that does nothing to conceal the disappointment she feels inside. She rolls off of the bed and ambles into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

Chapter 22

“Earth to Ellie –“ Snap. Snap. Snap. “Did you hear a word I just said?” My eyes flicker up to Dove’s as she waves her hand in my face. Her expression is more concerned than annoyed by my lack of attention, but there’s an underlying urgency painted on her features.

“Huh?” I say sheepishly. I’ve been so mentally involved in – whatever it is – that I’ve got going on with Matteo that I’ve really been letting my concentration slip at work.

“I just told you that we lost the Hampton Fresh Juices account and you didn’t even bat an eye. Are you okay these days? You’ve been really distracted.”

I ignore the last part of her statement and attack the first head-on. “Well, if we lost Hampton Fresh Juices, just go out and find another advertiser,” I say simply. “We’ve got the traffic numbers. I’m sure you could easily come up with a list of a dozen advertisers who’d be extremely interested in advertising on our blog.”

She sets down her half-empty water bottle on my desk and grunts. “It isn’t that simple, Ellie. The time I’ll spend chasing down new advertisers is time that I could spend working on initiatives to up our traffic or find better writers and photographers.”

My eyes flicker to my smartphone. New message from my mother. More pictures from her on-going Mediterranean cruise with billionaire husband number three. “Look Dove – we lost some business. That’s how it goes. Now, the task at hand is finding new revenue to replace what we lost.” My tone is calm and steady but I seem to be reacting a bit too calmly for her liking.

She eyes me suspiciously. “Are you sure you’re okay, doll? Something’s different about you. You’re dating someone, aren’t you?”

“No.” I am most definitely not dating Matteo. I’m fucking him – no, I fucked him. Past tense – but we’re definitely not dating.

“Look – I know we don’t talk about these sorts of things, but you are
so
dating someone,” she insists.

I heave a sigh as I shuffle through the papers on my desk. “Dove, can we please get back to business?”

She relents but when I glance her way, I see the disappointment in her eyes. “Fine.”

“So, how many stories did we post on the site for the day?” My eyes return to the screen of my smartphone as I tap out a quick reply to my mother.

“Seven,” she says. “Here’s what we have lined up for this evening.” She hands me a few sheets of paper.

After I’ve read through the proposed articles and I’ve given her the ‘okay’, Dove slinks out of my office, still pouting that I haven’t clued her in as to what’s going on in my private life.

Dove has always wanted to take our interactions a step beyond the employer-employee dynamic. She wants me for a friend. She’s a great girl but I’m not the type of person who engages on that level. I keep to myself. I always have and that’s how it will continue to be.

And even if I was the type of girl to blab about who I’m sleeping with, I still wouldn’t be able to talk to her about what’s going on with Matteo and me. Because
I
don’t understand it.

It’s just sex. That’s what I’ve been telling myself this whole time. But the more I see him, the more I question whether that’s true.

Am I developing feelings for him? Honestly, I don’t know. I can’t seem to stop thinking about him and every time he tries to get me back in bed, I say ‘yes’ although I know that the right answer would be ‘no’. It could just be because his is the best freakin’ sex I’ve ever had. But if I’m honest with myself, I’ve got to admit that it’s not quite that simple.

I
like
him.

I think.

This was never supposed to get complicated. Actually, it was never supposed to happen at all. I think back to the first time I met him. How maddeningly arrogant he had been. How condescending and smug. How much I’d loathed him. I was woman enough to acknowledge to myself that he was gorgeous – all tall and wide-shouldered in his expensive-looking business suit. But I also knew that there was no way in hell I would fall for his charm. I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was the type of guy that would fuck me then leave me in a heaping, sobbing pile of heartache.

And then he intervened when Lester was getting touchy-feely at the restaurant. That was the first crack in my armor and I’ve been a bumbling mess ever since.

I can’t fall for him.

It would be disastrous if I did.

Not only because he’s my lawyer. Not only because he’s a player. But also because he has no idea that I’m the woman behind the
New York Flame
, the gossip blog that has repeated exploited the misfortunes of him and his loved ones for profit.

We have to keep this light. We have to keep this light. We have to keep this light.

I can’t let myself forget that.