Maybe Baby Lite (40 page)

I was taken aback. This
wasn't the reception I had anticipated. My heart fluttered. The
butterflies in my stomach that had been left for dead were suddenly
resurrected. He lowered his head to mine. I felt his warm lips on
mine, kissing me with a fervor that left me breathless. I couldn't
let this happen. This wasn't the reason that I came downtown to
Trey’s office. I gently pushed Trey back, fighting the urge to
throw myself on his desk and have him do me right then and
there.

“
Stop please,” I said,
trying to catch my breath.

He released his hold on
me, gazing down at me with a look I could only describe as
fear.

“
I came here to talk to
you; Denise told me that you were upset.”

His eyes turned to blue
steel in that moment. He motioned me over to take a seat in front
of his desk as he retreated to his chair behind his desk. Okay, we
were going to play lawyer-client now.

“
Please sit down, Tylar,”
he said coolly, taking his seat.

He rested his elbows on
the desk in front of him, clasping his hands together on the desk,
resting his chin on them and continued observing me.

“
Trey, I came here to let
you know that I'm all right. I’m staying with Gina. I did not run
off with Mark. I can’t believe that you'd even think
that.”

“
Who told you that I
thought that?”

“
Denise.”

“
Ray must tell her
everything,” he mumbled, looking displeased.

“
I won’t have you thinking
those kinds of things about me or Mark either. There was nothing
between us.”

“
You’ll forgive me Tylar
if I have my doubts, won’t you?”

“
Trey,” I leaned forward,
now running my hand through my flat-ironed straight hair, “there is
one thing that you have to know regardless of that picture that was
sent to you.”

“
I’m listening,” he
replied.

“
I was at the point with
you that I couldn’t live up to your expectations any longer. I knew
that I couldn’t be the person you wanted me to be. As much as I
cared about you, I simply could not, would not, allow myself to
become some, some Stepford replicant.”

A tiny hint of amusement
flickered over his face.

“
So the night you called
and Clint was there, it was just too much. I wasn’t giving up my
friends simply because they were male. That's not a reasonable
request, Trey. My friends told me that you want me as a possession
only. I started to believe them and feel that way. I’m not that
person Trey. I could never be.”

“
I see,” he replied,
reflecting on my words.

“
Anyway, after the phone
call the night Clint was there and I told you that I was exercising
my opt-out, Mark noticed at practice that I was in a funk. He
invited me to have drinks with him. He walked me to the door of my
cottage, and then he just kissed me. Someone took that picture, I
don’t know who. The part that doesn’t show in that picture is the
part when I pushed Mark away. I told him that we could only be
friends. He apologized for the kiss. So there was no reason for you
to fire him.”

“
So where does that leave
us, Tylar?”

“
I'm to blame for all of
this. I didn’t understand fully what your expectations were when we
made our agreement, but I can’t be what you want me to be, Trey. I
want love, I want commitment, but most of all, I want trust. I
don’t see that happening with us.”

“
I see,” he said once
again, calmly. “Are you coming back to the estate to
work?”

“
I guess that kind of
depends on you. I love working with the horses; I love training for
dressage with Derringer. I respect that you’re the boss there and I
realize that I can't pick and choose my job responsibilities. If
it’s your intention that I work over at Le Vie Belle with Jenna and
the rest, then my answer is ‘No thank you.’ I'll come back for the
rest of my things.”

“
And if I say that you can
continue working with Derringer, how would you feel about
that?”

“
I’d love it,” I replied.
“I don’t see how that's possible though, with you letting Mark
go.”

“
I may be able to persuade
him to come back with the right incentives.”

“
Do you even know where he
went?” I asked.

“
I think I know where to
reach him.”

I knew it. He did have
someone watching Mark. I smiled, thinking how well I knew
Trey.

“
There is one requirement
that I'd ask of you, Tylar.”

Uh oh, here it comes.
“Yes?”

“
Since Ray's moved out of
the first cottage nearest the stables, I’d like for you to move
into it when you get back.”

I didn’t have an issue
with moving to a different cottage, though I was puzzled as to the
nature of the request.

“
I think it'll be safer,
being closer to the stables and the house. I don’t like the idea
that someone's still out there taking pictures and harassing you.
I'll also put someone on security until we know exactly where all
this is coming from. Will you agree to this?”

“
Yes, that’s fine,” I
answered.

“
As for our personal
relationship,” he continued, “what are
your
expectations there?”

I wasn't prepared for that
question. I didn’t think the terms were negotiable. I needed to be
honest with Trey about that or it would lead to further
misunderstanding and disappointment.

“
Trey,” I said softly, “I
don’t for one minute regret anything that's happened between you
and me. You've helped me deal with the ugliness of my past; you've
helped me discover wonderful things about my body. You know
everything about me yet I feel I know so very little about you. As
I said before, things like love, commitment, and trust—those are
things that I want. Are you able to give me those
things?”

Trey was clearly out of
his comfort zone. “I’m not much of a believer in ‘happily ever
after,’ Tylar. My experience has taught me to appreciate the here
and the now; unfortunately, my career and even my past
relationships to a certain extent have taught me to trust no one
but myself. People are dynamic, not static. Things can change in a
moment’s notice. People that you thought would love your forever
suddenly don’t and vice-versa. Commitments can be the hangman’s
noose. What you want at 21 may not necessarily be what you want at
30. You’re young and idealistic; you’ve not come to realize these
realities yet. That’s not a bad thing, don’t get me wrong, enjoy
and revel in it for as long as you can, just know that it won’t
last forever.”

I stood up slowly, getting
ready to leave. I felt really sad for him. “If I live to be 100, I
pray to God that I'm never as skeptical about love, life, and human
beings as you are at 30, Trey.”

“
Let me know how that
works out for you, Tylar,” he replied, smiling.

“
I’ll be back at the
estate by Monday morning, ready for work, then.”

“
I look forward to seeing
you there, brightening up the landscape once again, Ms. Preston,”
Trey replied as he walked me to the door of his office. He held his
hand out to me and I shook it. Our business today was
concluded.

I took the elevator down
from the penthouse and was safely on the ground floor in the lobby
of Trey’s building when I called Gina. Things didn’t go exactly as
I planned, but they could have gone worse.

“
Gina, can you pick me up,
please.”

“
I’ll be there in five
minutes.”

“
Hurry,” I said, my voice
faltering.

I'd been feeling more at
peace since the blow-up with Trey that had sent me packing to
Atlanta because I realized that I truly loved him more than I could
ever have imagined loving someone in my life. But I wouldn't abide
his need to control me. Of course, there was also the matter of his
avoidance of love and commitment, and general mistrust in all human
beings. The emotional roller coaster had ended. I wanted an even
keel even if it meant cutting Trey out.

I successfully avoided him
for several weeks. The dressage training with Derringer was going
well. Mark and I were able to pick up where we'd left off. The test
was less than one week away. Mark continued to work on the
choreography. He felt that both Derringer and I had the potential
for a more advanced technical routine. We'd increased our training
schedule from four hours to a total of six hours per day. Spending
that time with Derringer each day made me feel close to Trey, and
so exhausted I'd fall into bed fairly early each night, happy for
the escape.

Tonight though, something
had woken me from my sleep. My eyes flew open. I could hear the
horses in the stable making a ruckus. My alarm clock told me it was
2:15 a.m. I was starting to regret taking the cottage that Ray'd
vacated. Although the proximity to the stables made me feel safer,
it was also louder, in particular when something was riling the
horses at this time of the morning.

Finally, realizing that it
wasn’t going to stop without some intervention, I got out of bed,
pulling a pair of shorts on over my panties. I was sure the horses
wouldn’t mind my attire of shorts, tee shirt, and boots. I found a
flashlight in the drawer of my nightstand and tested it, rushing
out the door.

A slight breeze blew,
crickets chirped. In the distance, an owl hooted. There was a light
on in the tack room. If someone was in there, I wasn't going in
until I knew who it was. I couldn’t imagine any legitimate reason
for someone to be in there so late with no foals due for
months.

I crept alongside the
stable and peered in to the corner of the window. The light was on
in the tack room but it was empty. I moved directly in front of the
window so that I could view the entire room. No one was visible. I
suppose it was possible a light had been left on, but that wouldn’t
explain the horses’ behavior. I opened the barn door just a crack
and peered inside. The horses had quieted somewhat, but I could see
that Derringer was restless. It was then that I heard his smooth
and silky voice.

“
Derringer buddy, how’s my
girl been doing?” Trey’s voice slurred drunkenly. I’d never heard
him like this. “Did you see my girl today, huh? Well, I didn’t. I
haven’t seen her for quite some time. Are you keeping a good eye on
her for me? You'd better have my back on this one, Derringer. You
let me know if that son-of-a-bitch Montgomery fuckin’ touches her,
you hear? No one can touch her except me. Isn’t that right
buddy?”

I stifled a giggle;
sharing his feelings with a horse was so not Trey!

“
Who am I fuckin'
kiddin’?” he asked the horse. “She won’t let me touch her anymore.
You know why? I’m fucked up, that’s why! I smother her, I fucking
smother her. I can’t help it Derringer, I love her. You know what
that’s like, buddy? I guess not, seeing that you’re a
gelding.”

Trey started chuckling to
himself. “You know what Derringer? I’d been better off to have been
gelded, too. Then I wouldn’t be fucking missing her so much like I
do and want her every minute and think about her every second.” His
voice trailed off. “I just love her, you know man? Not like Tess.
It’s totally different with Tylar. You get it don’t you? Yeah, I
know you do. I can tell you like Tylar on your back more than you
ever liked Tess. It’s the same way with me buddy. I don’t want her
riding anyone else. I can’t be with anyone else since I’ve been
with her.”

I paused by the door. The
conversation from man to horse had stopped. Trey must've passed
out. I opened the door and quietly went into the stable. I walked
down to Derringer’s stall. Trey was passed out in the straw, his
legs out-stretched; an almost empty bottle of Jack Daniel’s tipped
over in his right hand.

I hurried over to him. I
talked to Derringer, patting his hindquarters to move him over
towards the other side of the stall. I bent down and looked at my
beautiful, passed-out Trey. This was a different Trey; a vulnerable
one, not the one I knew. I brushed his hair back from his face,
calling his name.

“
Trey, it’s me. Trey, you
need to get up and get out of Derringer’s stall. Can you hear me?”
I reached over and shook his broad shoulders with my hand, becoming
increasingly alarmed; his head bobbed a couple of times. Finally, I
shouted, “Trey!”

His head jerked up;
sapphire eyes blinking, he squinted at me. “Tylar?”

“
Yes, Trey, it’s me. I’m
here to help you up, okay? You need to get up and get out of
Derringer’s stall.”

A slow drunken grin
crossed his face, his dimple showing. “You…you’re gonna help me up,
Tylar?” he asked, still grinning.

“
I will Trey. I need you
to help me though. I can’t lift you.”

“
You won’t have to, baby,”
he said, “I’m perfectly able to get my drunken ass up and outta
here.”

He pulled his leg back and
leaned forward to lift himself up. I had him by the shoulder,
gripping him as best I could. He lunged forward, and practically
fell directly underneath Derringer. He was now in a worse position
than before. I had to get someone down here to help me get him up
and out of harm’s way.