Marienne was extraordinarily quiet all through dinner and remained so even after Ella went to bed.
Daniel put away the leftover food as Marienne stood at the sink washing dishes. He placed the last bowl into the fridge then turned toward her. Soap bubbles covered her fingers as she scrubbed away at a large pot. He wondered what was making her pensive.
He hoped it wasn’t the fact that he was going out of town. He never wanted to be the source of her stress.
“I still have to pack.” He sighed and wrapped his arms around her waist, breathing in the scent of her hair as he kissed the back of her head. “I should go soon.”
****
“Okay,” she said, trying to ignore the sensations he was creating in her body. His hand brushed her hair from her neck as he nuzzled below her ear. She wanted nothing more than to drop the sponge and fling her arms around him, begging him not to leave, to stay with her forever, but instead she gripped it tightly, scrubbing harder.
“Look,” she said, trying to concentrate on a particularly stubborn stain. “I want you to know, if you meet someone, at the conference, and you decide to…be with that person, I’ll understand.” She was thankful that he was behind her and couldn’t see her face. She held her breath.
Daniel stopped nuzzling her neck. “Meet someone?” He tried to turn her toward him. “What are you talking about?”
She held her body taut and kept scrubbing. “Meet someone. As in a woman. You were stuck in a marriage, for years, with someone who never appreciated you, and you moved straight from that to me, a woman with so much baggage we actually need two separate houses to contain it all. I just want you to know that I don’t expect anything from you. I don’t want you to sacrifice your happiness for me or feel obligated or….”
“I want you to expect things from me.” He tried to turn her again, but she refused, so he positioned himself as much in front of her as he could. He cupped her face with his hand. “I want you to expect things from me. And I do not want to meet anyone because I already have everything I want right here with you. I love you.”
Her eyes clouded with tears and she forced herself to look away.
“I know you love me.” She chose her words carefully. “And you may not want to meet someone else, you may not plan to meet someone else, but if you do I want you to know I’ll understand.”
****
Daniel closed his eyes, trying to contain his frustration. It bothered him to hear her undervaluing herself and bothered him that much more to hear her doubting him.
“I love you,” he said again. “And I’m not Frank.”
She cringed visibly.
He wondered if he shouldn’t have said it. “I wouldn’t do that to you. I wouldn’t do that to anyone. You of all people should know that. I never once cheated on Justine, and you know it, not even when things got intolerable between us. And it’s not as though there wasn’t someone else I was attracted to. I have wanted you for years.” He meant the statement to prove he was loyal and to prove he was certain about his feelings, but it had come out all wrong.
“See?” She finally looked at him. “You felt obligated to her all those years, and you stayed in spite of the fact that you wanted something else. I don’t want you to ignore something you want because of me.”
He put his head back, praying for patience, overwrought by the fact that she felt this way. He knew her past. He knew how she’d been treated by so many people who had come before him. This was a serious concern.
She really thought he could somehow do better than her, that someone out there might actually be more suited to him or make him happier. And for that he blamed himself. He obviously wasn’t doing enough to convince her otherwise.
His mind raced as he tried to figure out a way to make her see that he wasn’t like all the others, that for him she was everything he’d ever wanted, more than he’d ever thought or hoped he would have.
He turned the water off and physically removed the pot and sponge from her hands. He stepped between her and the sink, lacing her fingers in his own, and looked directly into her scared, defiant eyes. “I’m not ignoring anything. I can’t even think about anything but you.” He kissed her, grateful to feel that the tension in her body eased as she kissed him back. He released her hands so he could wrap his arms around her. “I love you,” he said, as he pulled back to look at her. “And I’m not going to stop just because you’ve given me permission to.”
“I love you, too.” Her voice was quiet and still tinged with fear, a sound that broke his heart.
They held each other for a while longer, but then he needed to go home to pack. He hated leaving her, all the more so because she was upset. They both were. He kissed her goodbye and made the walk back to his house.
He couldn’t stop thinking about her words.
How could she still have those thoughts? Those doubts?
He realized it didn’t matter. All that mattered was how he could convince her that she had nothing to worry about, and he had an idea.
Chapter Fifty-Five
Daniel could barely concentrate on driving as he made his way home from the airport. He’d talked to Marienne several times every day he was away, but he needed to see her, to hold her. And he had something important to give her.
He rushed upstairs as soon as he got into his house. He showered and put on fresh clothes. Excitement coursed through him.
He moved aside box after box on the top shelf of the walk-in closet until he found the one he wanted. The layer of dust atop it was impressive. It hadn’t been touched in years. Digging through stacks of old letters and memorabilia he finally found what he was looking for. The tiny velvet box gave a creaky sigh as it opened. Inside lay his grandmother’s ring.
He smiled, remembering the moment his mother had given it to him. He could still see her, sitting on her bed, on the blue patchwork quilt, the box in her outstretched hand. “It’s no fun to be alone,” she’d said. “And I have you to thank for the fact that I never was. Promise me you’ll find someone to share your life with. Having the right person by your side will make all the difference in the world. Find someone to love, who will love you back, forever.”
Her words had haunted him after she died. He’d felt so lonely and had tried to do what she said. He thought he was fulfilling her request when he married Justine. Commitment was never an issue for him, he just didn’t know there was more.
It hadn’t even occurred to him to give Justine his grandmother’s ring. It was too old-fashioned, and she wasn’t one for sentiment. He realized now that should have been a clue that he was picking the wrong person.
He hadn’t realized that until he met Marienne. He didn’t know it was possible to feel the way he felt about her, to love someone so completely and to feel so accepted in return. Now that he had a chance to be with Marienne, to stay with her for a lifetime, he wanted to make sure he didn’t screw it up. This was what his mother had wished for him. There was no doubt in his mind. Marienne was his forever.
The ring sparkled in his hand and he placed it in his pocket.
Please, let her say yes.
****
Marienne refreshed her computer screen, checking the flight arrivals every two minutes until Daniel’s plane was safely on the ground. She was counting the seconds until he got home. The five days he’d been gone had seemed like a lifetime.
She hated that she’d been so cranky when he left. Fear had gotten the better of her, and she was trying to protect herself. The moment he’d walked out her door she’d wanted to take it all back, to tell him she never wanted him to leave her.
She knew he wasn’t like all the other men in her life, yet she’d treated him as though he was.
Stupid. Stupid.
She hoped he could forgive her.
All she wanted was to be in his arms. Always. A future without him was unthinkable. He was everything she’d ever hoped for, not only for herself, but for Ella. She wanted to have babies with him, to grow old with him.
I hope he still wants me….
Daniel called to tell her he was home, and he’d be over in a little while. She sat at the kitchen table, heart racing. When she finally saw him crossing the yard she could barely contain herself.
She stood by the open door, feeling like she might burst.
“I’m sorry,” she said the second he stepped into the house.
He silenced her with a kiss. “I have something for you.” He took her hand, led her into the living room and sat her down on the couch. “Here,” he said, placing a large square box on her lap. He held onto it as he continued. “A long time ago, in your garage, we found your old Wall of Men photos, and you told me a story about how you’d captioned a photo of me back in college. I reserved the right to caption any photos of you that I saw fit, at any point in the future, so now I have.” He took his hand off the box as she stared at him. “Go ahead. Have a look.”
She removed the top of the box, uncovering a square, black leather photo album, with a picture window on the front. Inside the window, in a large plain font, was the single word “Us.”
“Daniel,” she said.
“Open it.”
She lifted the cover. There was one photo per page, a caption beneath each.
Best
, it said beneath a photo of Marienne in her kitchen surrounded by racks of cookies.
Friends
, it said beneath a photo of the two of them laughing at a party, years ago.
She turned to the next page and laughed.
Partners
, it said beneath a photo of them working on their first stage project together, both covered in paint and laughing.
In Crime
, it said beneath a photo of them posing together, dressed as gangsters for a Halloween party.
She flipped to the following page. Tears began to fill her eyes.
Sharing
, it said, beneath a crookedly framed photo Ella had taken of them eating ice cream in the park.
Everything
, it said, beneath a photo of the two of them with Ella between them. She looked at him, eyes brimming.
“Keep going,” he said, holding her gaze.
Always
, it said, beneath a photo of them from when they first met.
Forever
, it said beneath a photo Marienne had taken of the sunset when they’d gone to the beach with Ella.
Her hand shook as she turned to the next page.
I love you
, it said, beneath a photo of Marienne that Daniel had taken recently.
And on the last page, there was a photo of Daniel’s unmistakably recognizable hand, his long fingers holding a sparkling ring. There was no caption beneath this photo.
Daniel turned her face toward him. “I’ve loved you since we first met, I’ve been in love with you for ages, and I’ve loved Ella since before she was even born. You and Ella are my life.”
He pulled a pen out of his pocket and handed it to her as he knelt before her. “Please marry me.” He took her left hand and kissed her index finger. “Please
marry
me.” He kissed the tip of her middle finger. “Please marry
me
.” He kissed her ring finger, his other hand poised with the twinkling ring.
Her eyes raced from his hands, to the photo album, to his face. She clicked the pen, and beneath the photo she wrote ‘YES!’ Tears now streaming down her cheeks, she looked up to see his eyes spilling over. “Yes,” she whispered, kissing him as he slipped the ring onto her finger. “Best friends. Partners in crime. Sharing everything. Always, forever.” She repeated his words back to him. “I love you.” He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight, and kissing her. She pulled away long enough to say one last time, “Yes.”
THE END
Daniel and Marienne’s story continues in Karen Stivali’s
Holding On
An excerpt
“What’s wrong?” Marienne asked, crawling into bed, loving that her husband, Daniel, was already there, waiting for her. He was propped against the pillows, a book open in front of him, His dark hair dipped down almost to his eyes. She watched as he took his new reading glasses out of their case. He placed them on his nose, a look of annoyance flickering across his face.
“I can’t believe I need glasses now.” His British accent was always more prominent when he was bothered, and Marienne couldn’t help but smile. Ever since she’d met him, years ago, she’d loved the sound of his voice. She sat up and turned toward him, noting how the glasses accented his high cheekbones.
“What?” He furrowed his brow. “You think I look old and ridiculous?”
She giggled and his face scrunched further. “You’re only thirty.” She slid toward him. “And you don’t look at all ridiculous.”
A smile tugged at his lips. He peered at her from above the dark frames and closed his book.
She took it from his hands and placed it behind her. “In fact, I think they make you look kinda sexy.”
“You do, eh?” He reached his arm around her, drawing her closer. His long fingers pressed into her lower back.
“I do.”
“I love it when you say those words.” He ran his thumb along her hip.
Kiss me
. As if he heard her thoughts, his mouth descended onto hers. He always managed to hold off until the moment when she couldn’t wait a second longer, and then he’d give her sweet release. His velvety tongue coaxed her mouth open, though she needed no encouragement. She never tired of kissing him, and kissing was never enough. Her hands slipped beneath his shirt, along the ridges of his back. He rocked against her and she melted.