A liquid rush of excitement coursed through her. She turned back to the task of measuring coffee grinds, but not before an image of Daniel pleasuring himself flashed through her mind. The rush of heat once again washed over her.
Just being near him was enough to set off the strongest sensations she could imagine. The added possibility of what she’d stumbled into this morning was enough to send her already active imagination into total overdrive.
Stop it. Regardless of what he was doing when you arrived, he was probably fantasizing about some awesome woman he’s thinking of asking out, or some supermodel he passed on the street, it certainly wasn’t about you.
Her stomach fell as the words hit her. Daniel couldn’t possibly be thinking about her the same way that she found herself almost constantly thinking about him.
Marienne had been attracted to Daniel since the first time she’d laid eyes on him, but she’d never once forgotten that the heat she felt, the draw she felt to him, was almost definitely one-sided. She knew Daniel loved her, as a friend, as a person, but the illusion of him caring about her as anything beyond that was something she regarded as an unrealistic dream. A wonderful, fantastical dream that she’d indulged from time to time, with dramatically increasing frequency, particularly since she’d found out for certain that Frank had been cheating on her.
That final fact had absolved her of all the previous guilt she had felt about her potentially adulterous thoughts. And now, of course, neither of them would be cheating on anyone, but the fact remained that Daniel was out of her league. As enticing and exciting as the possibility was, she knew better than to hope that being with him in that way would ever become a reality.
She felt his eyes on her and turned to find him staring. He squinted as though he was trying to assess what she might be thinking, and she squinted back at him.
The sound of the coffee dripping into the pot distracted them both. An unusual silence hung between them. Daniel walked over to the fridge and grabbed the carton of half-and-half while she got two mugs out of the cupboard. They set everything on the counter then reached for the sugar bowl at the same time. Their hands knocked together and the spoon that had been balanced atop the bowl clattered onto the countertop.
The brief contact between them was enough to knock the breath out of her. They looked into each other’s eyes, holding the gaze for one dazed, breathless moment then Daniel leaned ever so slightly toward her. She could see the kiss happening in her mind, and she panicked, nervously stepping backward, toward the coffee maker.
Stop wanting what you can’t have. He’s your friend. He’s in your life. Be thankful for what you’ve got
. She was so flustered that as she reached for the coffee pot her finger brushed against the heating element. She jerked, but not before she felt searing pain.
“Shit.” Her finger went to her mouth.
Daniel saw that she’d burned herself, and his expression shifted from disappointment to concern. He turned the cold water on full blast then reached for her hand. His touch was gentle as he slipped her finger from her mouth and held it beneath the faucet. The icy rush of water over their joined hands did nothing to settle the heat that pulsed through her. She wondered if Daniel had any idea what sort of response he set off in her.
“Thanks,” Marienne said, feeling the tension in her body relax.
“Sorry.” He examined her finger.
“Sorry for what? You didn’t do anything.”
“It’s my coffee pot,” he said, though she had the feeling he was apologizing for more than that.
“You’re ridiculous.”
“Yes.” He smiled. “But I like to think that’s part of my charm.”
She laughed. “Mmmmmm. Yes, one of your many charms.”
Her heart skipped a beat as she once again took in his disheveled morning look. “Go get dressed before we’re late.”
“Right, dressed.” He gulped his coffee then headed out of the room, walking backwards as he assured her. “Give me ten minutes.”
She listened as he bounded up the stairs, and within seconds she heard the gentle rush of water in the pipes. She tried to keep from imagining him in the shower, but it was a useless struggle.
Coffee is not nearly enough of a distraction.
She sat down at the kitchen table with a thud. Nothing was enough to get Daniel out of her mind. He was everywhere, her thoughts, her dreams, her heart.
The only thought that did distract her was that of Ella going to Frank’s mother’s house for the weekend. Marienne was dreading it. She had been promising Ruth for ages, and Ella was looking forward to it, so she knew she had to allow it to happen. She didn’t want to be alone in the house and, in spite of herself and her reprimands, she was secretly hoping Daniel would spend as much of the weekend as possible with her.
She heard the shower turn off, and once again her thoughts shifted to him. Thoughts of a towel moving across his wet, naked body. Thoughts of herself moving across his naked body. She groaned and put her head down on the kitchen table.
Maybe,
she allowed herself to entertain the thought,
maybe this weekend, if we’re alone together….
The mere hope of it was so scary she banished it. The physical effects lingered, and she tingled from head to toe.
At this rate I’ll be lucky to make it through the weekend at all.
****
Daniel rushed through his shower, his thoughts still racing back and forth from ‘did she?’ to ‘didn’t she?’ The embarrassing possibilities gave way to his overall desire as images of her continued to whirl in his head. He realized he was hard again.
Jesus.
He vigorously rinsed the shampoo from his hair, trying in vain to will his erection to subside.
Focus.
He attempted to concentrate on the fact that Marienne was counting on him to go pick up Ella’s big surprise. She’d found an ad in the paper for a dollhouse, complete with furniture, but it needed to be picked up quickly as the woman selling it was moving. Marienne was desperate to get it as she wanted to have it all set up before Ella returned from her weekend at her grandmother’s.
The woman had warned Marienne that the house was solid wood and quite heavy, so she’d asked Daniel to help her get it. He was always happy for any excuse to spend time with Marienne, and helping her do something for Ella was the best excuse he could imagine.
He was planning a surprise for Marienne as well. He knew she was upset at the prospect of Ella being away for an entire weekend, and he’d planned out what he was going to bring over for dinner to cheer her up. He dared to hope that if they had an entire weekend of alone time he would finally get the nerve to kiss her.
He knew it would be a risk, that perhaps she didn’t return that sort of feeling for him, but his own feelings were so out of control he felt he needed to at least try. He had to know. If it didn’t work out well, he’d find a way to make it right and go on being her best friend. There was no way he was going to let her down like all the men in her past, no matter what. That much he knew for sure. He hoped that certainty would give him the courage to make his move.
He toweled dry, ran a comb through his still-damp hair and pulled on clothes. He raced downstairs. Seeing her filled him with anticipation. He couldn’t wait for the weekend to get underway.
Chapter Forty-Eight
Marienne’s mood had been off all day. She was restless and out of sorts. Watching Ella ride away in her grandmother’s car did nothing to lift her spirits. The idea of a weekend without her daughter seemed more like torture than like the ‘time’ Frank’s mother had insisted she needed.
“Take time for yourself,” Ruth said, “and give that guy Daniel a break. From what Ella tells me he’s always with you two. He probably still feels responsible, poor thing. It’s only natural. It was his car. Survivor’s guilt, they call it. Don’t get dependent on him. One day he’ll get a girlfriend, and he won’t have time for you. I don’t want to see you hurt.”
Ruth’s words had cut through Marienne’s heart like a knife.
Poor thing…survivor’s guilt…won’t have time for you.
All things Marienne had worried about, all thoughts she’d tried to push aside as she attempted to convince herself that maybe Daniel returned the feelings she had for him.
Ruth’s warning brought every doubt back into focus.
She’s right.
Her stomach tensed. It was guilt and obligation binding Daniel to her. She realized with sudden, painful clarity,
I need to let him go.
She stared down the street, watching until Ruth’s car turned the corner.
The emptiness in the house was oppressive. She picked up the toys Ella had left scattered around the couch then headed out to the deck. The sound of the water filling the watering can was soothing and she closed her eyes, feeling the cool late summer air brush against her skin.
She shivered then opened her eyes. Daniel was walking toward her, a pizza box in one hand and a six-pack of beer and white grocery bag in the other. His shirttails fluttered in the breeze.
“Did you call for a delivery?” His eyebrows rose in his delightfully cheeky manner.
“No.” She was unable to keep from smiling.
He placed the pizza box and six-pack on the stone wall at the edge of the patio, then disappeared into her house with the bag.
“Be right back.” The door swung shut behind him.
She wondered what was in the bag, but was too upset to dwell on it.
“Lonely yet?” He stepped back onto the deck, holding two plates.
“You were only gone a minute.”
He opened a beer and handed it to her. “Not what I meant.”
“I know.” She fiddled with the corner of the label. “I miss her like crazy, and it’s only been an hour.”
He smiled sympathetically, then opened the pizza box and withdrew two slices. He sat down next to Marienne and handed her a plate. “I’m no substitute for Ella, but pizza will help.”
She looked at him, doubtfully, but took a bite anyway. He’d gotten mushroom, her favorite, and as she bit into it she remembered that she hadn’t eaten anything all day. He was right—it did help.
****
They finished eating, and Daniel wrapped the leftover pizza while Marienne put the empty beer bottles into the recycling bin.
“Back outside?” He sensed her restlessness and thought maybe the night air would calm her.
“Sure.” She brought her beer with her. “I ran into Melinda Jeffreys at the dance studio this morning. She asked me if you were dating anyone.” Marienne’s voice had an edge to it that Daniel couldn’t place. She took another sip of beer. “I told her I didn’t think so, but I said I’d ask.”
“Which one is Melinda?” His brow furrowed.
“The one with the auburn hair, who drives the BMW.”
“Ohhhh,” he said. “The one who parked too close to us ar the recital and had to crawl out of her car through the passenger door?”
“That’s her.”
He took a swallow of beer.
“Well?” she asked.
“Well what?”
She sighed. “What do I tell her? About whether or not you’re dating anyone?”
“Tell her whatever you want.”
“Are you interested?”
He stared at her. “Interested?” It dawned on him what she meant. “In Melinda?” His face screwed up in disbelief.
She laughed. “I’ll take that as a
no
?”
“Definitely no.” He twisted his mouth, his lips pulling out to the sides.
The sun hung low in the sky, and the cool breeze kicked up once more. Marienne shuddered.
“You cold?” Daniel asked. “We can go inside.”
“No.”
“Here.” He removed his outer shirt. “Put this on then.” He held one sleeve up until she placed her arm through it, then wrapped it the rest of the way around her.
“Now you’ll get cold,” she said, eyeing his t-shirt and hesitating to put her arm through the second sleeve.
“I’ll be fine.” He took her wrist and guided it into the sleeve. He pulled the shirt around her and gently flipped her hair from beneath the collar. He was so close to her. His hand on her neck, his face inches from hers. His heart pounded. He leaned toward her, but her whole body tensed, so he stopped.
“Why aren’t you dating anyone?” she asked, the unfamiliar tone in her voice again.
“Wha…” He was confused. He wanted so badly to kiss her, but saw this wasn’t the time.
Is that what she’s trying to tell me? Not to kiss her?
He pulled back, disheartened.
****
“You’ve been divorced from Justine for months now.” Marienne sat back, further away, though she pulled his shirt tighter around herself. She inhaled his scent, wanting to close her eyes and relax into the warmth of his clothing, the warmth of his arms, but she stopped herself.
“Yes, I have.”
“You should be dating. You should be having fun.” She cringed at her own words.
“But I—”
She cut him off, determined to set him free. “What about that woman at work. Christina.” She bit her lip. She hated thinking of him with someone else. Convinced this was for his own good, she forced herself to continue. “You always say how funny she is, and you obviously get along.”