Meg at Sixteen (7 page)

Meg nodded.

“Then my mother got married and things got really bad,” Nick said, and he laughed that awful laugh of his. “He was a cruel son of a bitch, cruel to me and to my mother. He drank and he liked to hit us. He must have liked to, he did it often enough. But my mother stayed with him, and they had a couple of kids, and that didn't make things any better. Not for me, at any rate. I think he hit my mother a little less once he had a son of his own, but I may be being too charitable. I'm sorry, Daisy. I wish I could be someone perfect. I wish I were appropriate.”

“It doesn't matter,” Meg said. “No, that isn't true. You are perfect. You are appropriate. If you had a perfect, appropriate past, you might not love me.”

“I'd always love you,” Nick said. “I always will.”

“Good,” Meg said. “Because I'll always love you as well. You don't have to tell me the rest if you don't want to.”

“I don't want to,” Nick said. “But I do have to. There isn't that much anyway. My mother got cancer and died. I was almost sixteen. I doubt those cousins I told your aunt about came to the funeral, but I can't be sure since I didn't go. I wanted to, but my stepfather had a warrant out for my arrest, and I didn't dare show up. He claimed I'd stolen some money, which I hadn't. I meant to, but my mother died before I expected her to, and I never had the chance. That was a very rough time, when she died.”

“Did Mr. Wilson take you in right away?” Meg asked. Mr. Wilson was a comforting concept.

“There wasn't any Mr. Wilson,” Nick said. “He was a lie too. I wish there'd been. I wish for him, and I wish for a father who died on D-day. But they're both fantasies. I had a year and a half left to go in high school, and I survived. I lived in flophouses and worked any kind of menial job I could get until I graduated.”

“But how did you get the money for Princeton?” Meg asked. “How do you have enough money to spend the summer here?”

Nick's smile was filled with pain. “I thought I'd told you the worst,” he declared. “And now I find I haven't.”

“Tell me,” Meg said. “I've gone this far with you. I can manage the rest.”

“I went to my father,” Nick replied. “And I demanded the money. I figured it was the least he owed me. He figured otherwise. Oh Daisy …”

Whatever other confessions Nick was about to make were interrupted by the sight of Clark racing toward them. Meg sighed, but stood her ground against this latest obstacle.

C
HAPTER
F
IVE

“What is it now?” Meg asked as Clark ran over to them. She tried to keep the fury she felt from showing, not yet knowing what sort of effect it would have on Nick.

“Keep away from him, Meg,” Clark said. “He's a fraud and a liar and he's probably dangerous.”

At first Nick ignored Clark's presence, his mind, Meg assumed, on what he'd been telling her and his fears of her response. But at the word “dangerous,” he turned to face Clark.

“You don't belong here,” Nick said. “Go home.”

“Are you going to let him talk to me that way?” Clark demanded. “Meg, he's the outsider. He's the one who doesn't belong. I'm telling you, he's dangerous. I can feel it. What are you doing with him, anyway?”

Meg thought of a hundred answers to that question, but she wasn't sure she was ready to voice any of them. “We were talking,” she said. “That's all.”

“Oh,” Nick said. “So that's what we were doing.”

“What does he mean by that?” Clark asked. “What were you talking about?”

“It's none of your business,” Meg said. “Clark, go on home. I don't need you, honestly I don't.”

“You don't know what you need,” Clark replied. “No, Meg, that's the truth. You've never known. Ever since your parents died, you haven't really known anything about yourself. And now you're so confused, I don't know if even I can save you.”

“She doesn't need you to save her,” Nick said.

Clark looked as though he wanted to hit Nick, but instead he turned to Meg. “I told you he was a fraud,” he said. “Well, he is. I bet he said he was staying with the Sinclairs. He isn't, not anymore. I called up Robert Sinclair this morning, and he says his parents kicked this guy out because of the scene he caused last night.”

Nick laughed. “They kicked me out because I wasn't going to serve their function anymore,” he declared. “They invited me for the summer to distract Isabelle, keep her from the grocery bagger. And I went along with it. Free room and board at an Eastgate cottage in exchange for a little flirting, the occasional date. It was a fair deal. But once I saw Daisy, I knew I couldn't live up to my end of the bargain, and the Sinclairs knew it too. That hardly makes me Public Enemy Number One.”

“There's more to it than that,” Clark said. “There has to be.”

“Would you really have gone out with Isabelle?” Meg asked.

Nick nodded. “Before,” he said. “Before, I would have done almost anything.”

“You see what I mean,” Clark said. “That's dangerous talk, Meg. Will you forget about this guy, and go back to your aunt's house? You can have a great summer. We'll go sailing and swimming and ride horses and play tennis. There are dances every weekend at the club, and parties, and I'll see to it you aren't bored. You'll forget about this jerk in a minute if you give yourself the chance.”

Meg smiled. “But I am giving myself the chance,” she declared. “Can't you see, that's just what I'm doing.”

“But what do you know about him?” Clark asked.

“I know everything,” Meg replied, and whether that was true or not, it felt true, or at least true enough to say to Clark. “Everything that counts.”

“And you know what he knows about you?” Clark continued. “He knows you're in line to inherit all of Grace Winslow's money. That's what he knows. He knows you're an heiress, Meg, and that's all he cares about.”

“What makes you think Aunt Grace is going to leave me anything?” Meg asked. “Or that I'll even outlive her.”

“Don't talk that way,” Clark said. “It's bad luck.”

Meg laughed.

Clark stared at her. “You haven't told him, have you,” he said. “You know everything about him, but I bet he doesn't know a blessed thing about you, except for what your prospects are.”

“Told me what?” Nick asked, and for the first time since Clark had arrived, he actually seemed interested in the conversation.

“It's nothing,” Meg said. “And it's certainly nothing Clark should know anything about.”

“Of course I know,” Clark replied. “Marcus Winslow told half the world when it happened. Everybody knows, Meg. Everybody except Mr. Wonderful, that is.”

“What does everybody know?” Nick asked. “Daisy, tell me. I don't ever want to learn anything about you from somebody else.”

“It's no big deal,” Meg said, and she could no longer remember whether it had been a big deal or not. “After my parents died, I lived with my uncle Marcus for a while, because he had a wife and lots of children, so they thought I'd be better off there, and I hated it. I really hated it, Nicky.”

“Did they hurt you?” Nick asked.

“Oh no,” Meg said. “Not the way you're thinking. Nothing like that. They tried very hard with me, I know I should be grateful, but I was used to such a different way of life. My parents were wonderful, Nicky. I wish you could have known them.”

“They would have put a stop to this right away,” Clark said. “Any decent-minded parent would.”

“Will you shut up already,” Nick said. “What did this uncle do to you, Daisy?”

“What are you suggesting?” Clark asked. “Some sort of gutter behavior your kind is familiar with?”

Meg sighed. “I was very unhappy,” she said. “I missed my parents. I still do, but then it was worse, and Uncle Marcus had so many children, and they were all so noisy. My parents were quiet people. I'm a quiet person. They tried very hard with me, but they wanted to turn me into a noisy person so I'd fit in, and I couldn't. I just got quieter, and somehow that made them even noisier. Do you understand?”

“I understand people trying to drag you down to their level,” Nick replied. “I understand how hard it is to resist that.”

Meg wasn't sure that was just it, but with Clark there, she didn't want to compare and contrast. “No matter what they did for me, I grew unhappier,” she said. “That's all. It was as hard for them as it was for me. Uncle Marcus isn't used to failure. And I was his niece, his flesh and blood. He loved my father and he wanted me to be loud and happy, and I was quiet and sad.”

“If you don't tell him, I will,” Clark said.

“One night I tried to kill myself,” Meg said. “All I wanted was to be dead. At least when you're dead, you can be quiet and nobody minds. Uncle Marcus has a house in Newport, that's where they summer, and I got up very late at night, and put on my bathing suit and went swimming. It's a big ocean. I figured there was plenty of water to swallow me up.”

“Did you change your mind?” Nick asked.

“I got rescued,” Meg said. “There was a couple on the beach and they saw me and swam out and rescued me. I was too tired to fight, too helpless. Afterward, they kept me in bed for a few days, and all kinds of doctors checked me over, and then Uncle Marcus decided I was his first defeat, and I went to live with Aunt Grace.”

“You fool,” Nick said. “Didn't you know I'd come?”

“Did you know about me?” Meg asked.

Nick took Meg by the hand and embraced her. Meg felt the warmth of his body against hers, and the past five years held no more pain.

“Very pretty,” Clark said. “But you can see now she's damaged goods. Why don't you try your luck again with Isabelle Sinclair. Bag boys can't have half your charm.”

“They have twice yours,” Nick said. “Daisy, there's so much we need to talk about. There's so much I want to do for you.”

“You've done it already,” Meg replied. “You've loved me.”

“Wait a second,” Clark said. “Lots of people love you, Meg. They may not call you Daisy but they love you. And they know you, too, and have the same values you have. The only thing he values is a dollar bill.”

Nick turned to face Clark. “Who are you, anyway?” he asked. “You keep showing up, like a recurring nightmare.”

“I am a nightmare,” Clark said. “I'm your conscience, Sebastian, if that's what your name really is. I'm also Meg's protector, and don't you forget it.”

“It's Clark something, isn't it,” Nick said.

Meg laughed. “His name is Clark Bradford,” she said. “And he's a friend of mine.” She paused for a moment. “He really is,” she said.

Nick looked Clark over. “I didn't realize he was someone you cared about,” he said. “I'm sorry, Clark, if I've offended you in any way.” He stuck his hand out for Clark to shake.

Clark stared at Nick and moved away from him. “You've offended me in every conceivable way,” he declared. “I'd sooner die than shake your hand.”

“Fair enough,” Nick said, putting his hand down. “But if you change your mind, let me know. I want to like the people Daisy likes. I never want there to be any conflict between us.”

“I'll like your friends too,” Meg said.

“I don't have friends,” Nick said.

“That I can believe,” Clark said. “That's probably the first honest thing he's ever told you.”

“Go,” Meg said to Clark. “I don't know what you think you're accomplishing here, but all you're doing is making me angry. Go home and play with your train set.”

“I haven't played with my train set in three years!” Clark said. “And I'm not leaving you alone with Mr. Friendless over here. You may think you're safe, but I know you're not, and I won't leave the two of you alone.”

“You're not my chaperon, Clark,” Meg said.

“I'm your guardian angel,” Clark replied. “You might as well go, Sebastian. I'm sticking with Meg like glue.”

“He loves you,” Nick said. “I'm glad. He can watch out for you if something happens to me.”

“Something's going to happen if you don't get out of here,” Clark said.

Meg held Nick's hand. “There's so much more,” she said.

“We have time,” Nick replied. “Let me walk you back to your aunt's house.”

“I'll take her back,” Clark said. “Why don't you leave now, and go fortune hunting someplace else. Long Island is good this time of year. Lots of fair game there.”

“Are you coming with us?” Nick asked, putting his arm around Meg. She was still surprised at how comfortable she felt there, how right. She wondered if she'd ever get used to it, and almost hoped she wouldn't.

“Step by step,” Clark said, and he walked by Meg's side the entire distance. Meg pretended not to notice him, and she honestly felt that Nick didn't. Clark was just there, like the clouds and the waves. When he chattered, he was just a blue jay.

“Miss Winslow would like to see you,” Delman announced as they opened the front door. “Mr. Sebastian, that is.”

“I'm going with you,” Meg declared, and Clark followed them into the morning room.

“I see you brought my niece back safely,” Aunt Grace said.

“I saw to that,” Clark said. “I kept an eye on him the entire time.”

“Thank you, Clark,” Grace said. “Mr. Sebastian, in your absence, I called Caroline Sinclair and spoke to her about you.”

“And she told you I was no longer staying with them,” Nick said.

“She told me that, and more,” Grace replied. “She said that while it was true you had met Robert at Princeton, the two of you were not good friends, and Robert had never met any of your family during the year of your acquaintanceship.”