Men, Women & Children (12 page)

Dawn said, “I’m Dawn Clint. I have a daughter, Hannah, who goes to school at Goodrich. I’m doing the Olympiannes’ scrapbook this year, if any of you have a daughter who’s on the squad.” Dawn paused to see if this bit of information got any reaction. It didn’t. She continued, “Um. . . . Well, I heard about your group through a flier that I found in the principal’s office, and I just thought I’d check it out, because I guess you can’t be too safe, right? And that’s about it.”

Patricia said, “Well, welcome to the group. Kent?”

Kent said, “My name’s Kent Mooney. My son, Tim, goes to Goodrich. He used to play football, but he’s been playing a lot of video games lately, kind of retreating from the world, it seems like, so I thought I’d come and find out all I could about how I can get him back to normal life.”

Patricia said, “And how did you find out about PATI?”

Kent said, “Oh, uh, one of your fliers was actually sent home with Tim’s last report card.”

Patricia said, “Oh, really? Well, that’s just wonderful. I had spoken to a few teachers about the idea, but I had no idea they were going to implement it. That’s really just . . . so wonderful. Okay. Well, I suppose we can get the open-questions portion of the meeting started with you, then, Kent, since you’ve already brought up your son’s problem. Video games are bad. It doesn’t matter what you read, or how many studies claim they’re harmless. I can show much better studies that claim the contrary. Video games are terrible on almost every level for a child’s development. They teach children to be antisocial and to engage in violent attitudes and behavior. Video games called ‘first-person shooters’ are very widely believed to be the cause of the Columbine tragedy, and flight-simulator programs, which are a version of video games, were instrumental in training the terrorists who flew the planes into the Twin Towers on 9/11. Nothing good has ever come from video games.”

Kent said, “But how do you really feel about video games?” Dawn couldn’t stifle a laugh.

Patricia said, “I know I come off strong sometimes in my reaction to video games and their impact on our youth culture, but it’s a serious matter. Does your son play many different games, or is there one that he plays more than the others? Some are far worse than others.”

Kent said, “He plays
World of Warcraft
almost exclusively, as far as I know. He has an Xbox but he doesn’t really ever play it anymore. He’s always on the computer.”

Patricia said, “Well,
World of Warcraft
is one of the worst games out there. A couple in China played it so much, and for so long, that they neglected their baby for three days and it died from dehydration. Another man in Korea played it for so long that he forgot to eat or drink, and he died in the seat he was playing it in. Kent, and anyone else who is aware of their child playing this game, I urge you to get them stop. Uninstall the game from his computer immediately and never let him reinstall it. If you need help with that, I can print you out an FAQ about it.”

Kent, feeling that Patricia’s reaction to the game was slightly unwarranted, said, “I’m not sure it’s that bad. He still does well in school; it’s not like the game is destroying his life or anything. It just seems like he’s been a little more introverted lately, and I thought maybe the game had something to do with it. I was really just looking for more of an explanation of what the game is like, if you might know that kind of thing.”

Patricia said, “I know exactly what it’s like. I’ve seen the television commercials. It’s a virtual world, Kent, where your son has made an avatar. An avatar is a visual representation of the person playing the game, which very often has demonic or evil-looking features. And, when he’s plugged into that avatar, he thinks that that world, the
World of Warcraft
, is the real world. This world doesn’t matter anymore. His friends don’t matter, school doesn’t matter, you don’t matter, he doesn’t even matter. The only things that matters are his avatar and the other
World of Warcraft
avatars, which he thinks are his real friends.”

On some level, as Kent listened to Patricia’s anti-video-game rhetoric, he felt like defending his son, like telling the whole room that he wasn’t a deviant, like the picture Patricia was painting—the boy who sat in his room all day playing a game and not taking the time to bathe or eat or drink or relieve himself. In a strange way, Patricia’s tirade left Kent feeling closer to his son than he had in a long time.

Patricia said, “Does that answer your question, Kent?”

Kent said, “Yeah, I think so. Thanks.”

Patricia turned to Dawn and said, “Dawn, as the other brand-new PATI member, I’d like to open the floor to you if you have a specific question.”

Dawn said, “Yeah, thanks. Um . . . I guess, you know, my daughter is getting to that age where she’s starting to, um . . . develop, and you know, you worry about what can happen, especially when she’s on the Internet all the time and Facebook and always texting and all of that. I was just wondering if you knew what the laws were about, like, I guess, what people can and can’t say in e-mail or can and can’t post on the Internet, I guess as it relates to Internet predator type stuff and child pornography. Things like that.”

Patricia said, “This is a very good question and one that I’ve actually researched quite a bit. This is something that we should all be paying much more attention to than we do, because in our state the laws are far more lenient than they should be. Essentially, anyone can say anything they want to your children online if they don’t know they’re minors. So my best advice is to go home after tonight’s meeting and set up a practice role-play session with your kids. It might seem weird at first, but you should be playing the role of potential Internet predators, and your kids, of course, would play themselves. Start off by asking them something very normal, like what their favorite movie is or something like that, and see how they respond. The first thing they should ever tell anyone online that they don’t know—and I know it’s scary to think that your kids might be talking to people they don’t know online, but they are. You just have to accept that and hope you’ve drilled them and coached them enough to be able to handle themselves.

“So, anyway, the first thing your kids should do is ask who the person is and tell the person that they’re under eighteen. Once that’s done, it then becomes illegal for that person to bring up any kind of sexual topic. If they do, it’s all right there in your computer, and I can show you how to go into your kids’ computers and call back up whatever chat sessions they have logged in their history, so you can see who they’ve been talking to and what they’ve been talking about. Anyway, I hope that kind of answered your question, Dawn.”

Dawn said, “Kind of. I was also wondering what kind of images are legal and illegal to put up on the web. I mean, say my daughter sent a picture of herself in a bikini or something like that to someone in an e-mail or something—is that against the law?”

Patricia said, “I don’t think that is, no. I’m pretty sure that, as long as your daughter isn’t nude in the pictures, she’s not doing anything illegal. But I would have to say that if your daughter is sending people images of herself in a bikini, you should probably have a talk with her as soon as possible about online etiquette and decorum. I know none of our kids are thinking about jobs and their adult lives yet, but I guarantee you that none of them will want some compromising photo of themselves floating around the Internet when they start raising families and looking for jobs and all of that. We’re already starting to see people lose their jobs because of pictures they post on Facebook or Myspace. Our kids are really going to be the first generation that has lived their entire lives on the Internet. So any image they’ve posted of themselves, from childhood on, is going to be out there for anyone to see. So it’s our job to make sure that those photos are tasteful.”

Dawn said, “Thanks. That pretty much answered what I think I was asking.”

Patricia said, “And as long as we’re on the subject of Internet predators, and what is safe and unsafe for our children to be doing online, I think I would also add that, statistically speaking, the reason I even started this group in the first place, really—the number-one threat our children face when they’re online—is adults posing as children their age. I know it’s a terrible thing to think about, but we should all be extremely aware that there are adults out there in chat rooms, on AOL Instant Messenger—playing
World of Warcraft
, Kent—who are acting like children in order to gain the trust of our kids. It’s very disturbing and it’s what we all have to fight against. Our kids have grown up using the Internet and cell phones; they’re not stupid. They know that, if an adult is interacting with them through this technology, that adult is probably not to be trusted. But if they think they’re interacting with one of their peers, they’re statistically far more likely to divulge personal information because they see no harm in it. Again, and I can’t stress it enough, the number-one threat to a child’s online safety is an adult posing as one of their peers. This can come in the form of a fake Facebook account, an online avatar in a video game, or even an adult hacking into a child’s social-networking site and then using that child’s online identity to interact with that child’s peers. It’s a difficult thing to monitor, but you should have a conversation with your kids and tell them that, if any of their friends start behaving abnormally online, there might be cause for concern that their account has been hacked. And they should immediately call that friend to see if they’re online and actually the person on the other side of the computer.”

The other members of the PATI meeting asked questions, ranging from what action should be taken if a parent accidentally discovers their child masturbating while viewing pornography on the Internet to how many hours a day a child should be allowed to use the Internet. Neither Kent nor Dawn found any of Patricia’s answers regarding anything that was brought up to be that informative or enlightening.

After the initial round of questions came to a close, Patricia spent twenty to thirty minutes reviewing various cell phones that had either just been released or were about to be released in time for Christmas. She went over details such as price, functionality, preloaded applications and software, and which phones she felt were the safest for their children to use based on ease of monitoring and controlling use.

At the meeting’s conclusion, Patricia handed out a four-page document, which she’d created the night before, containing much of the information about new phones that she’d just covered. The document also included various websites where parents could download software for their children’s computers and cell phones that would grant the parents remote access to the children’s devices, as well as the ability to log keystrokes in order to obtain passwords and transcripts of chat conversations that might have been deleted by their children. This part interested Kent more than anything else in the meeting.

Kent was still thinking about what he might find out about Tim’s lack of interest in football using such software as he walked out of Patricia’s house just behind Dawn. Patricia said, “Kent, Dawn, it was a pleasure to have you guys out tonight. I hope you got some good info and it helped a little. And, of course, I hope to see you back next week.”

Kent and Dawn both engaged in the expected pleasantries and noncommittal banter, which Patricia knew meant she would not be seeing them again. She wondered what she could do to make the meetings seem more important. As she closed the door behind them, Patricia thought about renting out a meeting room at the Ramada Inn in order to give the meetings a more formal feeling.

D
awn and Kent, both wanting a chance to talk without the other PATI attendees around, made small talk until they were the only two left meandering around in front of Patricia’s house.

Kent said, “Which way are you parked?”

Dawn said, “Over here,” and pointed down the street.

Kent said, “Oh, I’m the other way, but I’ll walk you to your car if you want.”

Dawn said, “Sure.” She hadn’t been walked to her car since she was in high school. She found a certain charm in the offer. She assumed that Kent had been so out of practice with dating that he held on to things like walking a woman to her car or maybe opening the door for her.

Once at her car she said, “This is me.”

Kent said, “Nice car.”

Dawn said, “It’s old.”

Kent said, “So, uh . . .” He laughed, “I really haven’t done this in a while, so I guess I’ll just do it—would you want to get dinner or something, or drinks or coffee or . . .”

Dawn said, “Or what?”

Kent said, “Or . . . I don’t know, I guess I covered everything we could do on a first date, didn’t I? I just wasn’t really sure how to end that sentence, I guess.”

Dawn said, “Oh, first date? Well . . .”

Kent said, “I’m sorry, was that too forward? I don’t really . . .”

Dawn said, “I’m just joking with you. Yes, I would love to get dinner with you. How’s this weekend?”

Kent said, “Oh! Fine with me. Saturday night?”

Dawn said, “Saturday night it is. Here, what’s your number?” She pulled out her cell phone. Kent gave her his number and she added him to her contacts, sending him a text message that read, “Looking forward to Saturday night.” He added her to his contacts as Dawn and then said, “What’s your last name again?”

Dawn said, “Clint,” which he added to her contact page, and then said, “Mine’s Mooney,” which she added to her contact page.