"I couldn't sleep, either," he said. He came farther into the kitchen, pausing by the stove to turn the burner off under her milk.
*'I was going to make cocoa," she said, hardly aware of her words. **I thought it might help me sleep."
**I know a better cure for insomnia." His voice was low and deep and Megan felt a throbbing begin in the pit of her stomach.
*'Youdo?"
*'A sure cure." He stopped in front of her, so close that she could feel the heat radiating off his body. She could see the glitter of his eyes. She swallowed hard.
"Maybe you should patent it," she whispered.
•'Maybe I should."
Without ceremony, he brought his hands up and closed his fingers over her breasts. Megan arched her back, thrusting herself more firmly into his hold. This was what she'd been wanting ever since she'd come back to the ranch. The single kiss they'd shared had only added fuel to the fire.
"I heard you get up and followed you downstairs," Kel said. His thumbs brushed over her nipples, fiery hot through the thin cotton of her nightgown. She shuddered, her knees trembhng. **I can't sle^ for thinking about you, Megan. I lay in bed and think about having you naked beneath me, about being inside you, feeling your sweet, slick muscles holding me."
"Please." She hardly knew what she was asking for. For him to stop torturing her with words and kiss her? For him to rip her nightgown out of the way so she could feel his hands on her skin? Or for him to skip everything else and simply take her where they stood?
He reached out and caught her hand, bringing it to the front of his jeans so that she could feel the swollen length of him straining against the denim.
* "That's what thinking about you does to me," he whispered, rocking his hips against her hand.
Whimpering, Megan fumbled for the tab of his zipper, wanting to feel the silken heat of him in her hand. She didn't care where they were or who might walk in on them. All she cared about was putting an end to the sweet torture.
But Kel was not quite so lost to their surroundings. He had no intention of having their lovemaking interrupted by Gracie>coming out to see what the commotion was in her kitchen. He caught Megan's hand and dragged it away from him. If she kept touching him like that, he wasn't going to give a damn if the whole ranch walked in on them.
**Shh." He smothered her frustrated whimper with his mouth and bent to scoop her up into his arms.
By the time he'd carried her upstairs and into the privacy of his room, they were both nearly frantic with need. He wanted to take it slow, make it last forever, but the hunger was too powerful. Kel barely managed to get her nightgown and his jeans off and then they were tumbling on the bed, Megan's legs opening to him.
With a groan, Kel sheathed himself in her. Her hips arched, her heels digging into the sheets as she struggled to take him as deeply as possible. He thrust once, twice and the explosion hit with the force of a freight train, rocking them both, startling a muffled scream from her as her body convulsed beneath him, around him.
Resting his forehead on the pillow, Kel sucked in a ragged breath, his big body trembling with the force of his climax. It wasn't enough, he thought, almost despairingly. He was still hard and aching, still wanting her. He rocked his hips against her, hearing her whimper in response, feeling her fingers dig into his back as she arched against him. This time, he was going to make it last.
There was no storm outside like there had been the first time they'd come together, but the storm inside was as fierce as anything Mother Nature could have conjured. It went on and on, with Kel controlling the moment, controUing her body as well as his own. He took her to the edge again and again, only to pull her back, petting and soothing her until she stopped trembling only to start the climb again.
In the end, Megan all but fought him for control of their lovemaking, and Kel let her take it, let her push him onto his back and lower herself onto his aching arousal. All the foreplay made their lovemaking hard and fast. Kel's hands were bruising on her hips. Megan's fingernails left marks on his shoulders. And the final shuddering moment left them both drained and exhausted.
Megan collapsed onto his chest, her breath shuddering in and out of her. Neither of them spoke. Words would have been an intrusion. Kel ran his hand up and down her narrow back, savoring the feel of her lying along his body. Her breathing gradually slowed, and he felt her relax against him and knew she slept.
He remembered his words about having a cure for insomnia, and his mouth curved in a smile. Looks like I was right, he thought, closing his eyes and letting himself drift to sleep.
Chapter 14
1 hey woke in the quiet hour just before dawn, and without exchanging a word made love again. This time it was slow and sweet, as powerful in its own way as their almost violent coming together the night before.
Afterward, holding Megan, Kel felt a peace like he'd never known before. For the first time in a long time, he was starting to believe that everything was going to work out. Maybe happily ever after wasn't quite the impossibility he'd thought.
She loved him. He was almost sure of it. She'd given herself too completely for it to be anything else. A woman who kept her virginity until she was twenty-five didn't give herself as utterly as Megan had just done unless her heart was involved.
"Marry me." He hadn't planned on saying the words. But once they were out, he didn't think he'd
ever said anything that felt more right. "Many me, Megan."
She stiffened against him but didn't say anything. Kel was so caught up in his own feeUng of rightness that he hardly noticed her silence.
"We should have done it weeks ago. Hell, we should have done it three years ago, and would have, if Fd known you were pregnant." Somewhere along the way, he'd let go of his anger over that. It didn't matter anymore. What was past was past. What mattered was the future.
"We should be a family, you and me and Michael."
"We are a family," she said at last. She eased away from him and sat up. "You don't have to marry me for that."
"Yes, I do." He looked at her, but all he could see was her back and the pale fall of her hair. Couldn't she feel how right this was? "Michael's my son, Megan. You're his mother. I want to take care of both of you."
"You can take care of Michael without marrying me," she said.
"But I want to marry you. Hell, Megan, most women would think I ought to marry them," he said with a half laugh.
"I'm not most women." She stood up and went to where her nightgown lay half beneath his jeans on the floor.
Kel watched her untangle the two garments, feeling uneasiness push aside his earlier contentment. This wasn't exactly the reaction he'd anticipated. He hadn't necessarily expected her to shout an immediate yes. Women always seemed to want to discuss things be-
foie coming up with an answer, and she'd want to be sure it was the right thing for Michael. But he certainly hadn't expected this oddly flat reaction.
He stood up as she tugged her nightgown on over her head. Unconcerned with his nudity, he went to her, catching her hands in his and tugging her around to face him. She kept her eyes firmly on his chest.
**Are you going to leave without giving me an answer?" he asked hghtly, hoping it was his imagination that something was wrong here.
"I can't."
"Can't marry me or can't give me an answer?"
Can*t marry you, Megan thought but she couldn't get the words out. Couldn't bring herself to turn away from that dream.
"I can't give you an answer," she whispered. "I...I need some time, Kel." She lifted her eyes to his face and forced a half smile. "It's a big decision and I have to consider what's best for Michael, for all of us."
"This is what's best for all of us," he said quickly.
"I need time," she repeated. Time to pull together the strength to say no.
"All right." Reluctantly, he let his hands drop from hers. "Take the time you need."
"Thank you." She glanced over his shoulder. The sun had crept over the horizon, flooding the room with light and she hoped he'd attribute the brightness of her eyes to its brilliance. "I have to go. Michael will be up soon."
She turned to go but Kel's hands caught her up against him. Her head fell back, her mouth softening under the impact of his kiss. He released her as suddenly as he'd grabbed her.
"Just thought Fd give you something to remember," he said, smiling at her.
She lifted trembling fingers to her mouth. "I won't forget."
And then she was gone, pulling the door quietly closed behind her. Kel frowned after her. Something didn't feel quite right. He wanted to go after her and drag her into his arms and kiss her until she admitted she loved him and agreed to marry him. He shook his head, forcing himself to turn away from the door. He'd said he'd give her time and he would. He just hoped she didn't make him wait too long.
Kel swung out of the saddle and looped Dude's reins around the top rail of the corral fence. It was the middle of the afternoon, and he should have been repairing fence on the south pasture. He had been doing just that since leaving the house this morning.
But all morning he'd had the feeling that something was wrong. In fact, he hadn't been able to get the idea out of his head since Megan walked out of his room just after dawn. Telling himself it was only natural that she should be on his mind hadn't helped. And he'd finally given in to the compulsion to leave his men to repair the fence and ride to the ranch.
The first thing he looked for was her car, which he'd towed behind the truck all the way from Cheyenne. He sagged with relief when he saw it, only then realizing just how much he'd feared that it would be gone and Megan and Michael with it.
From the corral, he could see that Gracie was in the garden, and Michael's small figure darted around her like a minnow circling a rock. He smiled as he headed
up to the house. As long as Grade was around, they wouldn't have to worry about Michael's lack of grandparents.
Once they were married, everything would settle into place. Megan had to see how right it would be. How right they would be. He tried to ignore the uneasiness in the pit of his stomach.
Kel pushed open the front door and stepped into the cool dimness of the house. A quick glance in the living room and kitchen told him that Megan wasn't downstairs. Maybe she was taking a nap. She still tiied more easily than she liked to admit.
He walked quietly up the stairs and down the hall to the room she shared with Michael. Once they were married, she would move across the hall into his room and this room could become Michael's alone. They'd be close by in case he needed them but they'd still have their privacy. He had every intention of needing a great deal of privacy.
The door was open a crack and Kel pushed it open, not wanting to wake Megan if she was asleep. He needn't have worried. She wasn't asleep. She was bent over the bed, carefully folding garments and placing them into her open suitcase.
Kel was momentarily frozen. Vaguely, he was aware of a sharp ache in his chest, a feeling of impending loss so great it was like a crater opening up inside him. She was leaving.
Again.
"What the hell are you doing?" At his question, Megan jumped and spun around, one hand pressed against her chest as if to still the sudden pounding of her heart, and stared at him in utter dismay.
When she seemed at a loss for words, Kel walked into the room and pushed the door shut behind him. Giving himself a few seconds to think, he pulled off his hat and turned to hang it carefully on one comer of Michael's crib. Staring at the cartoon figures that decorated the sheet, he ran his fingers through his flattened hair. There was a crack opening up in his chest, a familiar emptiness in the pit of his stomach.
"Where are you going?" he asked quietly, careful to keep the desolation from his voice. He'd almost believed, ahnost thought it possible...
"Cheyenne," she said in a voice so low he had to strain to hear it. He turned to look at her. She looked nearly as pale as she had when he first saw her a few weeks ago, and her eyes were smoky blue with distress.
"Back to Hall?"
"No." She combed her fingers through her hair and then let her hand drop limply to her side. She looked as miserable as he felt. Too bad it wasn't for the same reason. "Only in the sense that he happens to be my landlord and my employer. I've told you before that there's nothing more than friendship between Reed and me."
Kel nodded. He almost wished he didn't believe her. It might have made it easier if he'd thought she was going to another man.
"Why are you going?" He was a fool to ask, he told himself. Better not to hear her spell it out.
"I have to. I appreciate what you've offered me, Kel." The words seemed to be difficult to get out. "Marriage and everything." She gestured vaguely to
encompass the house and the ranch. ''But I don't think we'd suit," she finished weakly.
"Seems to me we suit pretty well."
"In bed. But that's not all there is to marriage."
"We haven't done all that poorly outside of bed, either." But she was already shaking her head.
"Sooner or later, you'd realize what a mistake you'd made."
"Why don't you let me worry about that?"
"I can't," she whispered. "I can't let you worry about it. I have to think about Michael, too,"
"You think our getting married would be bad for Michael?" Why didn't she just spit out the truth, that she didn't love him, would never love him.
"In the long run." Megan turned away and began putting things into the suitcase again. "When he realizes that you married me because you thought it was your duty, your responsibility, "
"Most women would appreciate the fact that I want to live up to my responsibilities," he said, aware that his voice had risen.
"Your responsibilities?" She seized on the two words, making them less than a compliment. "You mean Hke it was Kurt Anderson's responsibility to marry Melissa?"
"Who?" Kel stared at her blankly, trying to figure out how Kurt and Melissa Anderson figured into the conversation. "What are you talking about?"