Miranda (30 page)

Without knowing it, I said the words that were key to making him start into another one of his sermons. This time, he rubbed the words in my face, and through them, the story that he had never told me before.

“Miranda Wise, if it hadn’t been for the bravery of your mother, you wouldn’t be here today. Yes, I know her. Yes, I know who she is. The failed attempt to find them when you requested it of me as a gift for your fifteenth birthday was all a lie, a fabrication. Forgive me, please. I only wanted to protect you. I swore to never tell you anything about it because I didn’t believe that knowing the truth would help you or change your destiny.

“Allow me to tell you a story, my daughter… the story of your life when you were still not yet self-aware. So, perhaps, you can forgive me, you can understand me, and you can perhaps rethink your decision and not return to a clinic like that. Realize what motherly love can do for you, because you, Miranda, can become an exceptional mother. You’re afraid, yes, but you’re not deficient in any way. Any way! And look at how I had to get you out of there! Miranda, you have an enviable job, a good salary, a life planned out. What are you worried about? You are, so to speak, a complete woman: educated and worldly. There have been women who have been more steadfast, and have not had even a third of what you have. So, let me tell you a story…

“I knew your mother, Laura, at the university. Isabel and I were engaged, and they were friends. I was a friend of your father since I was a child. The four of us were living the life of university freshmen: parties, alcohol, and unbridled sex everywhere. We were free spirits full of energy and love–but we made some bad choices. So that’s how our life stories intertwine even more.

“We had gotten so drunk that Isabel got pregnant with Eliezer. At the time, I thought we shared our reasons for deciding to keep the baby. After knowing her better in time, however, I came to realize why she had decided to embrace the pregnancy. First, she was never academically inclined, so when she had an excuse to drop out by having a baby, she did. Second, she could see that I was determined to make something of myself, so the baby was her way of ensuring my future financial support for her. Anyway, we came to an agreement: she would go live at her parent’s house, give birth to Eliezer, and take care of him, while I would finish my university studies. During that time, when Eliezer was barely two months old, Laura got pregnant.

“Your parents had a more harmonious and stable relationship than I had with Isabel. Notwithstanding, as soon as Laura found out that she was pregnant and opted to fight for your life, your father turned his back on her and severed the relationship completely. She built up her courage and struggled against all odds. She didn’t even tell her parents because she was so afraid of how your grandfather might react. He was a stubborn man with strongly held beliefs. I couldn’t see her fight so alone against the world. Sometimes she didn’t even have enough to eat decently, including when she was working full time with her protruding belly. She wanted so much for you! She dreamed of giving you everything you needed. In time, I realized that I lost my friendship with your father for having become Laura’s rock and confidant. It hurt me, yes, but it didn’t matter that much. I couldn’t abandon her–such a fighter. During the final weeks of her pregnancy, symptoms of pre-eclampsia emerged. Then everything became even more complicated. She died during an emergency cesarean section that was nothing more than an effort to save both of you.

“Your maternal grandparents found out about the tragedy and the news because the university authorities notified next of kin. Certain people thought that I was your father: I would take her to lunch, to the gynecologist, and I would even take her to work when her feet would swell. I took a paternity test to certify the truth that I wasn’t your father–because I’m not. I’m
not
your biological father. Isabel was jealous, of course, and she ended their friendship. We would fight almost daily. There was no way to convince her. Her sarcastic comments were something she would repeat every day: ‘That stupid woman is your charity case. By now, you surely have earned your place in heaven…’ She couldn’t understand. No one could understand! I felt admiration for your mother. I had never before seen a woman fight so bravely. And yes, I admit: she filled the emptiness and loneliness that I felt because of the distance to and absence of my family. I also think that I filled the void in her that was caused by that imbecile. And understand that he officially acknowledged paternity because I threatened to tell his father that he had become a grandfather and that his son didn’t even think about marriage. Your father hasn’t been anything more than a coward his whole life. Your paternal grandfather also had told him: ‘If you have children before you have a career, I’ll disinherit you.’

“Your grandparents brought you back to their hometown. I didn’t know anything more about you until the evening when I saw you in the auditorium. You and Eliezer had reached the semifinals of the mathematics competition. He was a child of the privileged class, used to studying with the best teachers, the best books, and the best resources. You were a timid girl from a public school with worn out clothes and dirty socks. When I saw you standing there you were defenseless and fearsome at the same time. You reminded me of your mother. You had your mother’s hair, her guts, and her mannerisms. So, when I heard your name, I was shocked.

“I knew it in my heart. You were my good friend’s child. You were the child for whom she fought so hard. I was surprised and disappointed when you won the first place medal and your grandparents didn’t show up to congratulate you. Instead it was two nuns. I found out later that your grandmother had passed away when you were less than two years old, and your grandfather didn’t want to keep you. That’s why I came. That’s why I swore to protect you. That’s why I swore to become the father you never had. Laura deserved that and more. You definitely deserved that and more.”

“And my father, Norman… Who is he? Is he alive?”

Naming the man wasn’t a big deal. I knew his name. It was on my birth certificate, which I obtained from the public records to get my driver’s license. Though, by that time, I had lost interest in taking the time to research him further: I was old enough to recognize how meaningless it would be since he had not played any role in my life. However, now that Norman was going into detail about my biological parentage, it wouldn’t make sense to avoid talking about my father and leave a hole in the now more complete picture of my background.

Norman shrugged. He squinted and clenched his jaw, which was in significant contrast to the sweet demeanor he had when mentioning my mother’s name. I could see doubt in his face. He didn’t want to tell me, and when he did, he did so reluctantly.

“His name is Paul Wise.”

Right, I know… Wait…

Although I had known his name for many years now, hearing Norman speak his name jarred something in my mind and made the pieces fall into place. The man who had bumped into Eliezer during our trip to New York was Paul W. Hopgood. Could he have been Paul
Wise
Hopgood? My heart began beating faster, because the more I thought about it, the more I believed it. The name began to reverberate in my mind like an echo. The image of his body and his face came to me out of the recesses of my memory and, like the memory, that unpleasant sensation that I felt in his presence came to me as well.

Eliezer knew him! They knew each other!

But… what do those two have to do with each other? How do they know each other? Why?

My eyes watered.

“I know who he is, Norman. He doesn’t use his real last name.”

Norman’s face lit up with alarm and shock.

“You know him? How? From where? Did he try to harm you?”

The questions surprised me, but I didn’t want to give him more to worry about.

“Where and how I know him isn’t important. As far as I know, he hasn’t tried to harm me. Why would he? And… what does that man have to do with Eliezer?”

Norman began to look very confused. I never imagined that Norman’s face could be so expressive, because he had also learned from Ethan how to hide his most intimate truths.

“I don’t know how nor why my son and that miscreant are acquainted, but it doesn’t please me. In fact, there is absolutely no reason for it to have happened… at least not at this time.”

“Not at this time? What do you mean, Norman?”

He fixed his eyes on mine. His chest sunk and he lost the little energy he had left for me. Then he began a second story.

“You’ve always asked why I allowed Isabel to take my son and sever communication with me. I think it’s time for you to know the truth.”

“Eliezer was seven years old. I lived with them and had already founded Medika which took up much of my time. My relationship with Isabel cooled, and I accept that it was my fault. We talked about divorce on various occasions. I wanted her to be happier with someone who could take care of her like she wanted. She wanted money. She said that she wouldn’t divorce me because she wouldn’t allow someone else to end up with what was hers, and that she planned on living luxuriously all her life.

“Even though she didn’t want a divorce and we lived together, we barely saw each other; but I still noticed that she began to neglect Eliezer who had more of a connection with his nanny than with her. In fact, I don’t recall Isabel ever cuddling her son. I only ever saw his nanny do that.

“Our love had already died. That was clear. Nonetheless, my pride as a man and as a husband gnawed at me. I began to imagine her in other arms and with other men. I thought that if that’s what her life had become, then we should get a divorce, once and for all.

“I hired an investigator. Within a few days, he came back with pictures… many, many pictures. I could never have imagined it. The scenes I saw would never have otherwise crossed my mind. My wife, the woman I had once loved so much, was unfaithful to me with the man who had been my best friend.

“Isabel was cheating on me with Paul Wise Hopgood. Oh, yes! That son of a bitch was slow, but he managed to exact his revenge on me just as he had sworn. ‘This will cost you Norman. This will cost you…’ he declared as soon as he attested to his paternity. That was the last time I saw him.

“I got home that evening with photographs and bank statements in hand. I was the one who put Eliezer to bed, and later, when I knew that he was fast asleep, I asked Isabel to meet me near the library.

“It was a heated discussion. She screamed and made her arguments, and I only demanded divorce. Nothing else interested me, not even recovering the money that she had spent with Paul. I wanted to have nothing more to do with her.

“Just then, when she realized that she would lose, she began to reveal more secrets. I don’t know if it was to hurt me more, or because she couldn’t help revealing them all after she had already revealed one. Isabel kept slapping me while crying out torturous confessions. She was saying that I had abandoned her just like Paul had abandoned Laura; that I had cast her aside to console another woman; that it was my fault; that she detested me; that I deserved the heartbreak and her revenge; that she wanted to see me fall, because she had fallen; and that I deserved to live a life of obscurity, just as she had when she left to live with her parents.