Miss Impractical Pants (12 page)

Alerted by the throbbing vein at his temple that he was angry, Katie broke free of Dylan and squared off in front of Christopher, unwilling to endure one of his chastisements. Meeting her challenging gaze, he disarmed her with a sympathetic smile and pulled her into a big-brother hug. “You didn’t let yourself become a doormat—we bullied you into becoming one. I’m sorry, so very sorry.”

Katie smiled into his watery eyes and let herself fall apart in his hold.

Anna appeared on the porch. Though she made it no secret she hated giving hugs, receiving hugs, and watching people give and receive hugs, she pushed her way in and smothered Katie with a big, clingy embrace.

“That was weird,” Anna said. As soon as she released Katie, she took a giant step back and brushed hug remnants from her body.

“Yeah, it was,” Katie agreed. “That was creepy.”

“It seemed like the thing to do—must be the hormones.” Anna patted her enormous belly. “They make me do the damnedest things these days.”

With that, she grabbed Katie’s hand and led her into the house. Two fat suitcases and a backpack on the verge of exploding waited conspicuously next to the sofa.

“What’s this?” Katie asked, whirling around to the rest of her friends, who were stalking like shadows behind them.

Each wore a proud grin, but it was Heather who couldn’t keep the surprise any longer.

“We’re sending you to England!” she screeched.

Katie looked at her, puzzled. “But I’m already
going
to England.”

“We’re sending you the day after tomorrow,” Rob beamed, happy to be a part of any scheme. “All it took was Christopher’s credit card, Dylan’s frequent flyer miles, and Anna’s tenacity to change your ticket to first class—leaving Thursday.”

“And don’t worry about repacking,” Anna added. “Heather managed to put your entire wardrobe into those suitcases.”

“Not everything,” defended Heather. “I left her one outfit and a pair of pajamas.”

“But I can’t,” Katie argued. “I still have—”

“Finals?”
Dylan finished her sentence. “You can take them early. I’m going to be here to help you study.”

“Heather and Mr. Scott are going to take you to the airport,” Christopher explained. “Dylan leaves a few hours earlier, so Rob or I will take him on our way to work.”

“I have a doctor’s appointment,” Anna patted her belly apologetically.

The plan was already set in motion. There was nothing that Katie could do—besides accept. “Thank you everyone.
But why?
I don’t understand.”

“Because we finally realize we’ve been holding you back,” Christopher said softly. “You’ve got bigger dreams than Jared Stone. We understand that now, and we want to make sure you don’t waste another day not pursuing your heart’s desires.”

Katie put her hand on her heart in a silent thank you, too choked up to speak.

As if on cue, the doorbell rang. Anna ran to the peephole and hissed, “It’s him!”

A hush fell over the room and a few uncertain seconds ticked by. Then, as if there were a telepathic meeting of the minds, Dylan locked arms with Katie and dragged her downstairs to her bedroom.

When the front door clicked open, they could hear Christopher’s muffled voice. “This isn’t a good time,” he said tersely.

“Why not?”
Jared asked, clueless.

Christopher pulled the door shut behind him to hold a private discussion with Jared outside.

Downstairs, Dylan pushed Katie toward her window just off center and below porch level, and twisted the blinds to get a better view of Christopher and Jared. The sound of racing footsteps hammered across the living room floor and down the stairs until Rob,
followed by Heather, joined them at the window to spy on the confrontation.

Katie had never seen Christopher cut an intimidating figure, but his towering stance, arms tightly folded across his chest, made Jared’s strapping frame seem insignificant.

“Dude, what’s going on?” Jared asked.

Before Christopher could answer, the door flew open again and Anna charged onto the porch. “What’s going on, you jackass, is that we don’t approve of the way you treated Katie today!” She poked a finger into Jared’s sternum as she spoke until Christopher pulled her back.

“What? Why? What did she tell you?”

“She didn’t tell us anything. I was on the phone. I heard everything,” Anna seethed, storming back into the house.

“Just let me talk to Katie,” Jared demanded, attempting to follow her inside.

Christopher slid in front of the doorway, blocking his path. “Not now. Go home, Jared. Give things time to settle down.”

Before Jared could respond, Anna
came
flying out the front door, screaming like a banshee, her arms burdened with a Costco-size bundle of paper towels.

“Here, if you’re so worried about your damn paper towels!” She heaved the awkward super-size pack above her to hurl it at Jared’s head. “Here are some paper towels! And don’t ever speak to my friend again!” Realizing she couldn’t produce enough strength to heave it effectively, she dropped the package to the ground with a loud groan.

Jared stood frozen, staring at the madwoman, while Anna tore into the cellophane like a she-cat and begun chucking individual rolls
at him with all her might, littering the front lawn with sheets of white as she chased him off the porch.

The crowd peeping from the basement window fell into hysterics as Jared ran to his car, scooped a roll up under his arm, and took off.

Despite the extremely long day she’d had, Katie continued to laugh with her friends into the early hours of the morning, feeling almost guilty for having such a good time on the evening of her breakup with Jared. Such a good time that when someone declared it was time to go, she felt a pang of sadness, knowing it would be a long while before they would all be together again.

“Come on, let’s go to bed. I’ll even take the trundle bed tonight.” Dylan comforted when the door had been shut behind the last of their friends.

***

“Katie, wake up…do you hear something?” Dylan had vacated the trundle beneath Katie’s little girl daybed and was now kneeling over her, trying to shake her awake. “Come on, Katie, wake up! I think there’s someone in the house.”

A few moments later, the door creaked open. Dylan squealed like a teenage scream queen and dove in behind her on the tiny mattress.

“What the…? What’s going on?” the intruder barked as he jumped back in fright, landing against Katie’s dresser, knocking picture frames, books, and a bunch of paraphernalia to the floor with a loud clatter.

Katie shot up. That bark was now forever burned into her brain. “Jared?”

The lights flew on, catching Katie, with Dylan burrowing for dear life against her back, in a deer-in-the-headlights moment.

“What the hell is going on?” Jared demanded.

Katie scrambled away from her clinging bed partner. “Nothing’s going on. What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to talk to you, but I had to wait for Anna to leave. She’s nuts!”

“And then you broke into my house? Why didn’t you just ring the doorbell?”

“What’s he doing here?” Jared jerked his head toward Dylan.

“Dylan came to help me get ready to leave for England.”

A range of unreadable emotions played across Jared’s face. “When are you leaving?”
             

“Day after tomorrow.”
She straightened her back against the headboard. “It was going to be next week—which I tried to tell you, but you were either too angry or too preoccupied to care.” She couldn’t resist that last zing.

For a smart man, Jared had the clueless role down pat. “But Natalie and
me
are going shooting that day—I came to see if you wanted to come.”

Natalie and
I
! Natalie and
I
are going shooting!
Now that she was leaving, she no longer had to overlook his grammatical mistakes. He had a master’s degree, for crying out loud! Even if it was in criminal justice, that was no excuse for not having mastered his native tongue.

“You’re asking
me
to go shooting?
With
Natalie
?”

“Well, yeah, we’ll be spending a lot of time together while she coaches me through this interview process. I would like my two best girls to get to know each other.”

Knowing as soon as Dylan could scramble to his cell phone it would become an iconic phrase in Katie dating history, she chose to ignore the bit about his “two best girls.”

“What do you shoot?” she couldn’t help asking. Envisioning Natalie’s gloating smirk, she added silently,
Little
children?
Grandmothers?

“Just rabbits and squirrels.”

“You’re inviting me to drive for hours, tromp through sagebrush, run the risk of having ticks bore into my armpits—or worse, my crotch—potentially causing me to come down with yellow fever, in order to terrorize furry little creatures?”

He shifted uncomfortably at the tenor of her reply. “We could shoot cans or targets instead.”

“I don’t think so. You and Sarah Palin will have to go without me. I have a flight to catch anyway.”

Jared ran his hand along his head stubble, looking like he would trade his favorite AK-47 for the right thing to say. “Can I see you before you leave?”

“Why, so you can treat me like crap again?”

“I’m sorry about that, Katie. I shouldn’t have reacted that way—I had a stressful day.”

Katie shrugged, letting him know that wasn’t an acceptable response.

“Don’t you think we should probably talk?”

Katie considered the question a moment. “Yeah, I guess we probably should.”

“Cool. I work all day tomorrow and then I’m getting together with Natalie.
After that, maybe?”

“Sure.” Katie already knew that even if she were clipping her toenails when he called, she’d still be too busy to talk to him. 

Too busy thinking about her new life that wouldn’t include him.

She could only imagine what a sight they were, running down the frenzied airport corridors—she and Heather each lugging an overstuffed suitcase and Mr. Scott drilling her with instructions for her arrival in the United Kingdom.

“Bless me soul! Never in me life have I met a lass with such a knack for bein’ tardy as you, miss.” He wheezed as they began to slow their pace.

“A girl’s got to be good at something,” Katie teased. “Well, I guess this is it.” She sighed and stopped before the check-in line. “I’m going to miss you guys.” Her eyes welled up with tears.