Read Miss Impractical Pants Online
Authors: Katie Thayne
“Don’t be nervous, pet.” An older, white-headed stranger stepped forward. “We’re here to help you, not hurt you.” There was something welcoming in his kind face and she felt her apprehensions ease—a little.
Then the tallest and youngest of the men approached. She liked what she saw. He was rugged, like a man who had just stepped out of the pages of an REI catalogue, but polished as if he rubbed shoulders with the Prime Minister. It figured. The one time a man captured her interest, he was way out of her league—and possibly a murderer.
She looked between Mr. Ruggedly Polished and Mr. White Hair. If they were murderers, wouldn’t she feel more nervous? Some sixth sense would kick in and scream at her to start clawing her way
out of the room, right? These two men were too fashionable
to
be murderers. Then again, British killers always sounded more eloquent than American ones (or so she would imagine, never actually having a run-in with killers of either nationality), so it could be assumed they dressed better, too.
Mr. Ruggedly Polished seemed to have sensed her deliberation. Kneeling down to her level, he reached out a comforting hand and patted her just above the knee. At least she assumed he meant to be comforting, but his touch—or maybe it was his delicious smile—emitted an electric sensation that blazed through her core. She should have jumped away. She should have screamed, “Don’t touch me, Sexy Stranger!” But she didn’t. Instead, she flashed him her most engaging smile.
His mocha eyes danced in response, and she felt oddly at ease by the fact they weren’t flashing with murder and bloodshed. His shaggy brown hair that curled up at the ends made him seem gentle. Or maybe she just wanted him to seem that way because her arm itched to reach out and rub a lock between her fingers.
Just as he opened his mouth to speak, the door burst open and another man, about Katie’s age, sauntered in as if there were no doubt of his being welcome. He was striking—gorgeous with a swoop of black hair jutting across his forehead, Zac Efron-style, circa
High School Musical.
He jumped back, surprised by the presence of the first three visitors, who seemed equally astonished at his presence.
Mr. Ruggedly Polished recoiled and bolted away from Katie, leaving behind the electric current that still thrummed along her spine.
An unsettling silence hovered over the room. Katie took advantage of the long moment to study the scene. Mr. Ruggedly
Polished and Mr. White Hair seemed confident and in control of the situation, while the third man—a dull-looking character whose greasy complexion and ginger stubble spoke of a desperate need for a shower—shifted as if he didn’t know whether to stay or turn tail and run. No wonder—his faded black slacks, dingy white shirt, and name badge marked him as an employee of the hotel, clearly the culprit who’d let them inside her room.
Biting her bottom lip in contemplation, her eyes lingered again on Mr. Ruggedly Polished. She guessed him to be in his early thirties. His trousers and Burberry polo tried to camouflage his muscular physique.
With his height and distinguished air, he could have cut an intimidating figure—except everything about him seemed so uncontrived and offhandedly natural.
But the kindness in his eyes had now been replaced by fury. He bore the full of that emotion into Naughty Zac Efron’s soul with his intense stare.
Mr. White Hair was the first to break the silence. Katie noticed now that his accent was similar to Mr. Scott’s, though more refined.
“I must say, I am quite astonished to see you here,” he said to Naughty Zac while laying a calming hand on Mr. Ruggedly Polished’s shoulder.
Katie liked the older man, in part because he seemed caring, and also because she liked looking at the wavy lines in his thinning, perfectly combed hair.
“I could say the same thing about you, old codger,” Naughty Zac said snidely in a very un-
High School Musical
-like reply.
Katie saw the hurt settle in the older man’s eyes and was incensed. One thing she could not tolerate was cruelty to seniors. Without leaving her station on the bed, she rounded on Naughty Zac.
“Just who do you think you are?” she demanded. “You have no right to barge into my room like you’re…you’re…God’s gift to…to…hotels! And you don’t have the right to speak to this gentleman with anything less than the utmost respect. I’m sure he’s earned his place in this world. I doubt you’ve done anything to earn yours.”
She noticed Mr. Ruggedly Polished and Mr. White Hair exchange impressed glances, and was encouraged to continue. “Let me give you one piece of advice before I have one of these gentlemen throw you from my room. There are plenty of cocky, ill-mannered, disrespectful, and immature jackasses in this world—I suggest you try for something a little more unique.”
“Blimey, who knew she’d be a bloody duchess on a massive high horse?” Naughty Zac crooned in a delicious British accent that caught her off guard. Though he acted unruffled by her reproof, he crept lower into his button-down collar. He glanced at Mr. Ruggedly Polished, who seemed ready to honor Katie’s request to throw him out. Naughty Zac hesitated, then, without another word, strode out door.
Katie’s mouth dropped open. She couldn’t believe she’d just had an outburst. She hadn’t entirely ruled out the three remaining men as serial killers, but still she turned to them, a concerned frown pulling at the corners or her eyes. “Do you think I hurt his feelings?”
The two distinguished men burst out laughing.
Mr. Ruggedly Polished again directed his attention to Katie. “Don’t worry. I doubt he has feelings. You said exactly what he needed to hear. Maybe it will do him some good.” Turning to his elderly companion, he added, “Sid, would you care to make the introductions?”
Mr. White Hair nodded. “Please accept our apologies for intruding and not introducing ourselves directly. I’m Sidney Ainsworth. Avery Scott is my dearest friend. Not long ago I received a call from him ranting how he’d lost
a bonny lass
in London.”
A noisy commotion outside the door thwarted the rest of his explanation. Another uninvited man barged into her room—a stocky police officer, dragging Naughty Zac behind him by the armpit. Katie scoured the room with her eyes, looking for the hidden prank cameras. Naughty Zac was a good four inches taller than the officer, who was oblivious that he wasn’t really in control, but merely being placated. Katie giggled quietly at the ridiculous sight.
All the men turned their gaze on her. Apparently, her giggle was not as soft as she had thought.
“Found this one skulking outside your door, miss,” the officer announced, his words revealing a hint of Cockney. “One of the guests got concerned when she saw one of the employees lettin’ a couple of men into yer room—thought ya might be in some danger.”
Katie assumed this was more of a question than a statement. “That was sweet of her, but as you can see, I’m fine.”
The officer, unconvinced, seemed to be acting on a deeper suspicion—or hope. “If you’re certain you’re fine, miss, then ya won’t mind tellin’ me who these men are. See, we’ve had quite of lot of burglaries in these cheap hotels and I just want to be sure.”
His trigger-happy demeanor made its presence known at the base of Katie’s nerves. Other than knowing Mr. Scott was the reason for her visitors’ appearance, she still hadn’t a clue
who
these men were.
She disguised her anxiety with the pretense of being affronted. “If you were paying in American dollars, you wouldn’t be calling this a cheap hotel.” As an afterthought, she added, “Sir.”
“Aye miss, I didn’t mean ya no offense. I’m just looking out for the safety of our tourists.” He gave her the fisheye and patted his baton. “Now, if yer not goin’ to tell me how these men came to be in yer room, I’ll have to bring ’em in for questionin’.
You, too.”
Katie wasn’t sure if he had grounds to do that, but one thing she’d learned from her travels was not to argue with foreign law enforcement. She didn’t know if England really counted as “foreign,” but she wasn’t going to take the chance.
Mr. Ruggedly Polished took a step toward the officer. “I can clear up this misunderstanding. My name is—”
“Don’t ya move!” the officer cut him off. One hand on his baton, he crouched into a defensive stance, looking like Kung Fu Panda. “The only person I want to hear from is the lady.”
The image of the stubby officer holding Naughty Zac in one hand and beating the living tar out of the rest of them with the other was too much for Katie’s inconvenient sense of humor. She laughed outright.
The officer stiffened. “Ya think this is funny, do ya?” An aggravated sneer snaked across his lips.
Laughing so hard she could barely breathe, she nodded her head.
“Maybe you’ll think it’s funny when I arrest ya for insubordination.”
The thought of being thrown in jail for breaking the “Laughing Law” made her laugh even harder. Sidney and Mr. Ruggedly Polished
looked as if they wanted nothing more than to laugh along with her. She noticed the officer turning various shades of angry, and forced herself to be serious.
“This whole situation is funny because…” She wiped a tear from her cheek. “My uh…grandfather…” She knew she had to choose her words carefully to pacify him. “He had made arrangements for somebody to pick me up at the airport this morning. When I arrived, nobody was there to meet me. So, I took a train into town and reserved this room. Knowing that my grandfather would be sending someone for me, I asked—” She glanced at the hotel employee’s badge. “—Heath here to let them in, just in case I was out. The funny part is, when they came, I was so sound asleep I didn’t hear the knock.”
The officer wasn’t willing to be appeased. “You still haven’t told me who these men are.”
Katie gestured to Sidney. “This is my…um…my uncle, Sidney Ainsworth. And this…” She waved her hand toward Mr. Ruggedly Polished. “This is…ah...”
Sidney cut in. “I’m sorry, sir, for your inconvenience. As the lass said, I’m Sidney Ainsworth, and this young man is Lucas Hay—”
The officer cut him off. “I said I’m only hearing from the lady!”
Sidney had supplied just enough information for Katie to connect the dots. Given the disposition of the officer, she felt he wouldn’t accept anything less than a familial relationship. “This, officer, is my…uh…my…cousin?”
The office
r
cocked his eyebrow. “You’re askin’ me a question?”
She turned her full lips down into a slight pout, which seemed to enlarge her green eyes to saucer size. “I’m sorry. This is an awkward situation for me. It’s the first I’ve seen my English family since…since ever.” She wanted to keep the lies to a minimum. “I hesitated before, because Lucas Hayden is going to be my new employer. I didn’t know if it would be appropriate to introduce him as my cousin. I don’t want to take advantage of the family connection. I hope you understand…sir.”
To her relief, the officer seemed to cave. “Aye miss, I do understand. As a matter of fact, I happen to work under me own father-in-law.”
The officer began to take his leave,
then
realized he was still clutching Naughty Zac.
“What about this one?” He gave the handsome devil another good shake.
She racked her brain for an explanation and decided to keep to her code of not telling more lies than necessary. “That one, I don’t know.”
A near panic flooded Naughty Zac’s face while the officer looked perplexed.
Lucas stepped forward, stifling a laugh. “This is another family member, Andrew.” His amused tone turned reprimanding and his eyes again blazed severe displeasure. More than just disapproval sparked behind his eyes, but Katie couldn’t quite put her finger on it. “Andrew was meant to pick Katie up from the airport and failed to do so.” It clearly took great effort for the heated Lucas to say no more on the subject.