Read Miss Impractical Pants Online
Authors: Katie Thayne
Without missing a beat, Katie countered, “What do you take me for, ostentatious?”
Lucas smiled.
“Of course not.
It’s just that I forgot to read the fine print on the tickets. Women are required to wear tiaras.”
“Are you joking?”
“I’m afraid not.”
Katie shot a look at Sidney, who shrugged.
“Well then, we’ll just have to pop into the tiara shop on our way to the ball, won’t we?” she sassed. “What kind of event requires a tiara anyway?”
“A very pretentious one,” Lucas pointed out.
Katie felt her insides begin to tremble. She hadn’t the time to think much about this shindig, but she had the sinking feeling it was going to be exponentially more snobbish than any of the country club events Jim and Sheila had dragged her to.
“Now that I think about it, I’m not so sure I’m cut out for this sort of thing. I’ve never actually worn a tiara before…probably only professional tiara wearers are welcome there, right?” she backpedaled. “In fact, do I have to dance at this ball?
Because I don’t dance.
I only dance with Jim because he lets me stand on top of his feet.”
Lucas took a step toward her. “Jim?”
His close proximity increased her nervous babble. “Jim’s my…well, he’s Christopher dad. He pretty much raised me—Jim, not
Christopher. Christopher’s my best friend, more like a brother, really, but I call him ‘Mom’ because he acts more like a mom to me—”
Lucas put his hands on her bare
shoulders, and his thumbs
care
sed
her naked neck for an instant. “Relax. You’ll be fine. I have the feeling you’re a natural tiara wearer.”
His touch, meant to be reassuring, only succeeded in breeding more butterflies in her stomach.
“Well, one has to
have
a tiara to know if she’s a natural,” she pointed out. “So, I’ll just go back upstairs and change into something more ‘me,’ like an old potato sack or something.”
“That won’t be necessary. I believe I can help,” Sidney spoke up. “Mrs. Albright, would you mind fetching one of Mrs. Ainsworth’s tiaras from the safe, and a choker to match?”
Both Lucas and Katie protested at the suggestion.
“Nonsense, pet,” Sidney interrupted. “Helen wouldn’t have had it any other way.” Then turning to Lucas, he added, “I can think of no better honor than to have Katie wear Helen’s jewelry back out into society. She’s a special
lass
and deserves to be presented in nothing but the finest adornments. I’m certain Helen would have agreed.” He finished with a definitive nod that indicated the subject was closed.
Mrs. Albright returned with a shimmering diamond and sapphire tiara and a matching necklace that carried a large diamond pendant. Katie put her hand against her heart to keep it from popping out of her chest. That diamond had to be at least
a bazillion carats
! Mrs. Albright secured the tiara into Katie’s thick hair, letting a few wispy tendrils escape and fall alongside her face while Sidney fastened the necklace.
“See there,
lass, Lucas was
right—you are a natural,” Sidney reassured.
“It’s hard to believe I’m a natural when this entire day has been wholly unnatural. I don’t know how things work in the U.K., but in the States, strange men just don’t break into a girl’s hotel room, take her home, bejewel her in diamonds and sapphires, then whoosh her off to a ball. It just doesn’t happen,” Katie pointed out.
Everyone laughed, though Katie hadn’t meant to be funny.
Sidney bellowed. “No, I suppose that doesn’t happen much in the U.K., either. But with this lot, anything can happen! We met you only a few hours ago, but already you’re part of the family, lass, like it or not.”
Lucas nodded in affirmation.
“Thank you for making me
feel
so welcome,” Katie replied in earnest, before adding sarcastically, “and for throwing me into the clutches of high society, for which I am grossly ill-prepared and will, no doubt, embarrass us all. I’m looking forward to it—really.”
With a chortle, Sidney announced, “Well, let’s get on with it, shall we? Lucas, why don’t you drive on ahead and get yourself ready. Katie and I will go with Geoffrey and swing by for you.”
Before Katie could leave, Mrs. Albright insisted on wrapping her in a tender embrace. “You look radiant, love. Go on and have a wonderful time, and do whatever it takes to help our Lucas.”
“I will,” Katie promised.
Katie took in the sight of the other attendees as Geoffrey pulled the Rolls-Royce in front of the grand entrance of the Dorchester. They were all draped head to toe in elegance. Katie felt her limbs begin to tremble. After sliding from the vehicle, Sidney reached back inside to offer a helping hand to Katie. Instinctively, she slid across the seat and clung to the handle of the opposite door.
While Sidney tried to coax her out with encouraging words, Lucas walked around and tugged her door open. Katie didn’t even have time to scream before she tumbled out of the car and into Lucas’s arms. She was still trying to make sense of what had just happened when he set her on her feet and pushed her toward the building.
“I don’t know if I can do this,” she whispered, taking in the plush carpeting and ornate chandeliers that greeted her.
“Nonsense, pet, of course you can,” Sidney reassured, offering his arm for support. As soon as Katie took it, he laid his other hand over hers, trapping it against his forearm with a forceful amount of pressure.
So much for subtle messages.
Bolting was apparently not an option.
Lucas stopped and turned to them before they entered the ballroom.
“Thank you both for agreeing to go to this sodding carnival—especially you, Katie.
I know you don’t feel comfortable here—which shows good judgment on your part.” Taking hold of her other hand—the one to which the circulation wasn’t being cut off by Sidney’s death grip—Lucas massaged it gently as if his gratitude were a soothing lotion.
Katie issued him a weak smile. It was the best she could do under the circumstances. His tender caresses had her concentrating on not drooling down her neck.
He leaned in closer and whispered, “Don’t worry. I wouldn’t have begged you to come if I didn’t believe you wouldn’t be a brilliant success.”
She held her breath to steady herself against the dizzying effects of his breathy accent against her ear. What she needed was an encouraging mantra. But a quick rummage through her mind brought zero results. Her nerves were squeezing her lungs like two overripe lemons. The urge to drop to the floor and hug
herself
into the fetal position was powerful, but she remembered she was on a mission to help Lucas, and somehow managed to straighten her shoulders and will her legs forward.
All right Greta, let’s do this.
Before she knew it, she was inside the ball, with elegant people swirling all around her.
“Lord and Lady Waverly, may I introduce you to my friends, Katie Sutherland and Sidney Ainsworth?” Lucas presented them as they approached their dining table.
Katie pried her gaze away from the floor and hoped her knees wouldn’t give out on her.
Lord and Lady Waverly were nodding and smiling like well-trained bluebloods. They were a regal-looking couple, but something about them put Katie at ease. They almost seemed as if they could be parents of some of her friends. Lady Waverly was willowy and petite with a kind aura and a natural beauty that gracefully embraced her middle age. Lord Waverly was of average height and generously proportioned with glowing skin that told of a lifetime of pampering.
“It is certainly a pleasure to make your acquaintance, my Lord, my Lady,” Sidney purred like an expert hobnobber.
Katie was surprised to hear his accent had changed. His words were velvety and bore no trace of his usual Northern drawl.
“I am also very pleased to meet you,” Katie chirped, happy her voice hadn’t betrayed her frazzled state.
The
Waverlys
accepted both of their new acquaintances graciously and invited them to have a seat at their table.
Lord Waverly spoke with a deep, loud voice. “Katie, is that an American accent I hear? What brings you to London?”
Lucas intercepted. “Katie has come to help me out with the business.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful!” Lady Waverly exclaimed. “I look forward to knowing you better. Will you be involved in putting our holiday together?”
Katie looked over at Lucas, who gave her an encouraging but unhelpful nod. She couldn’t make head or tail of it.
“I’m not sure what Lucas has planned for me,” she answered. “I only arrived today. I understand Olivia has been working on your holiday. I haven’t even met her yet.”
Lady Waverly shot a concerned look in Lucas’s direction,
then
smiled at Katie. “I do hope you’ll be involved. I have always wanted to travel to Hong Kong—since I was a young girl. Have you been there?”
“Yes, I have—a couple times, but not in several years. It has changed quite a bit since the Chinese took over again, but there is still a lot of charm, especially if you know where to go.”
Katie stole a sidelong glance at Lucas, who stared at her in astonishment, then Sidney, who seemed about to laugh.
Lady Waverly’s eyes lit up as she clapped her delicate hands with childlike enthusiasm. “I can’t tell you how excited I am to hear it. Olivia had me so worried you wouldn’t be able to manage this holiday.” She spoke as much to Lucas as to Katie.
“Olivia? Have you seen her yet this evening?” Lucas asked with an ill-concealed tone of uneasiness. “I wasn’t expecting her for a little while yet.”
“No, I don’t believe she’s arrived,” Lady Waverly answered. “She left a message this afternoon informing me her journey hadn’t gone as planned. I was quite troubled. You know I have my heart set on this holiday.”
She was interrupted by the approach of an acquaintance, and Lucas took advantage of the moment. “Katie, how about I…er… introduce you to some friends of mine?” He raised an eyebrow at her,
then
leaned into Sidney. “Sidney, would you excuse us?”
Sidney, who had engrossed himself in conversation with a fellow navy man, waved his approval.
Putting a hand on the small of Katie’s back, Lucas escorted her through the hubbub of minglers and out of the ballroom.
“Why didn’t you tell me you’d been to Hong Kong?” he questioned once they were safely out of earshot.
“You didn’t ask.”
His lips spread into a broad smile. “It seems you are full of surprises.”
“I’m afraid Olivia is going to be mad. I feel like I’ve undermined her project.”
“What you’ve done is help me to retain some rather influential clients. Katie, just your short interaction with Lady Waverly has been more beneficial to me than a whole summer’s worth of clerical work.”
“Good, so my job here is finished? I’m ready to go back to the States now?”
“Not a chance,” he chuckled. “We only have a few weeks before the Waverlys are scheduled to leave on holiday. I’m counting on you to help me save face.”