Read Miss Impractical Pants Online
Authors: Katie Thayne
Katie had to force herself not to laugh as Sidney’s solemn reprimand was still raging forward.
“I hope, pet, you don’t find us
so
fickle as to expect you to leave because of Olivia’s actions.”
“Of course not,” Katie lied, though she wouldn’t call it fickle. She did think a choice needed to be made before she ended up in the hospital. She, a stranger, would certainly be trumped by a fiancée—even if said fiancée was a malicious vampire in a siren’s body.
As if reading her thoughts, Sidney placed his thumb under her chin, lifted her eyes to his, and said so softly that Katie could not doubt his sincerity, “In my home, Olivia will be tolerated as long as she is Lucas’s choice. You will always be welcome because you are my family. Lottie isn’t the only one who’s excited to have a new niece.”
When the weight of his sentiment sunk in, Katie flung her arms around Sidney, nearly knocking him over. A hug was the best response she could produce, but it was more than sufficient.
“Ahem,” Lottie broke in, “I feel the exact same as Sidney. But if you breathe so much as a word of it to my son, I’ll skin you alive and have a dress made out of ya.”
The gruesome image made Katie shudder. She intentionally changed the subject before Lottie could embark on the haute couture of flesh dresses. It was time to tell a little white lie.
“Sidney, I’ve already purchased my ticket, and after the past couple of days, it would be nice to go away for a bit and clear my head. Would you mind—if I promise to come back?”
“No, you go, child and have a wonderful time. You can leave your spare things in the room. It’s yours now.”
“Thank you, Sidney.”
“Uncle Sidney will do.”
“What about you?” she said, turning to Lottie. “Do you want to be Aunt Charlotte?” Katie ribbed.
“I would like to be called ‘Aunt Charlotte’ about as much as I’d like a boil on my arse,” Lottie countered. “‘Lottie’ will do just fine, unless you’re feeling an overwhelming surge of affection—then call me ‘Auntie.’”
“Auntie!
La-ti-da! It sounds so dignified,” Katie teased.
“Well, yes, because some of us are,” Lottie said with playful snootiness.
“Until she opens her mouth,” Katie whispered to Sidney.
“Ooh, isn’t she a cheeky monkey—I heard that!” Lottie chided.
Returning to her serious state, Lottie began, “Now, two things I want to know. One: Can I be there when you tell Lucas? He’s been moping around all day waiting to talk to you. He’s just popped to the shop to buy you some chocolate bribery, as per my suggestion. I’m hoping you’ll share. Sidney keeps a poor supply of sweeties on hand. And two: Can I go with you—pretty please?”
“I wouldn’t dare say no.” Katie stood to receive Lottie’s constricting embrace.
“My! That’s quite a healthy set of boobies you’ve got.” Lottie pushed against Katie’s breasts with both hands. “They nearly poked me eyes out.”
Lottie’s eyes darted mischievously to the doorway where Lucas loitered, looking like a dream in denim jeans and a long sleeve T-shirt. His eyes sparkled and his face wore an apologetic smirk for his mother that almost made Katie’s knees buckle.
“Wicked woman!”
Katie hissed under her breath, perceiving that Lottie found vast amusement in watching her turn ten different shades of red.
“I imagine your boyfriend’s quite ecstatic with that rack of yours,” Lottie quipped again.
Lucas’s smirk faltered, which he quickly regained, but the sparkle had vanished from his eyes. He strode over to his mother, handing her a box of decadently wrapped Thornton’s chocolates.
Kissing her sweetly on the cheek, he said, “Here you go, Mum. Had a sneaking suspicion you’d enjoy these. Where is it that you’re so excited to be going?” He turned to Katie and bestowed her with an even bigger box of chocolates.
“For whenever you feel up to eating them.”
Lottie and Katie exchanged glances; one set of eyes nervous, the other full of mischief. He fixed a fierce stare on Katie. “Where are you going?” he repeated.
It took all her willpower to meet his gaze. His look of contrition ran through her like a dagger, causing her to stagger over her decision. She couldn’t deny she felt residual anger toward him, and she felt some satisfaction he was bothered by her leaving, but her resolve was crumbling under the intensity of his mocha-dreamy eyes. Before she caved, she straightened her shoulders and reminded herself her anger was justified. She made a quick mental list of his crimes: subjecting her to Olivia—twice, being engaged to Olivia, waking her
up at four-thirty in the morning so she could have breakfast with noble people (
hmmm, that one didn’t seem so bad when you put it in perspective
), refusing to let her shower before breakfasting with said nobles (
now
that
was a good one
), practically forcing her to attend a ball (
where I got to wear real jewels and a dress so magical it actually vanished inches from my waistline
). She realized she was fighting a losing battle. She might also add to his list of infractions: chivalrous, handsome, and provides comfort to women reeking of vomit.
How was she supposed to stay even a tiny bit mad at him? For a moment she let herself warm to the idea of them being friends, better than friends—cousins—but even she couldn’t pretend Olivia would ever allow it. Seized by the frustration and anger she’d been trying to rally against him, she delivered her answer. “I’m going to Croatia. As per our agreement, I’m exercising my right to resign.”
His expression remained remorseful. “I see. When do you leave?”
“Tonight.”
“Can we talk about this?”
“No.”
He raked both hands through his hair. “I’m sorry. I never imagined Olivia could do anything so horrid. I had no idea she’d spike your drinks to make you ill.”
“That wasn’t your fault.” She was gracious enough to concede at least that much to him.
“Is there something else you’re angry about? I don’t believe it’s in your nature to hold a grudge. Please tell me.”
Katie folded her arms and chewed on the inside of her cheek. Who was he anyway to assume her nature! She certainly wasn’t going
to tell him she was pissed he didn’t have enough sense to realize he was marrying a truly awful woman. And if truth be told, which it would never be, it seemed downright wrong that horrible Olivia would get Mr. Perfect, while she had to make do with Mr. I’m Taking My Other Best Girl on Your Dream Vacation.
Lottie
smirked,
giving Katie the unnerving sensation the woman was reading her thoughts. “Get on with it, love. Tell him what he wants to know.”
“There’s no explanation I could give that wouldn’t make me look and feel like a complete idiot.”
With a wicked grin, Lottie settled into the armchair, snuggling her cup of tea as if preparing to watch a television drama. “I know. Now, go on, so I can have me morning’s entertainment.”
Challenged by Lottie’s naughty sense of humor, Katie gave her own devious smile. Reaching into Lottie’s opened box of chocolates, she purred, “You poor bat, it seems you need help knowing when to stuff it.” She chucked a chocolate at Lottie, which the woman caught and popped into her mouth. “Now you sit there quietly and behave yourself while the grown-ups finish talking.” Katie batted her eyes and smiled with perfect sweetness.
“Ho ho ho,” Sidney hooted. “It’s about time Lottie got some of her own back!”
Stamping down his own amusement, Lucas grabbed Katie by the wrist. “Let’s talk someplace else, away from Mrs. Busybody.” He gave his mother a meaningful glare before pulling Katie out of the French doors. Lottie stuck out her chocolaty tongue in response.
“Now, please explain what you were trying to tell me,” Lucas insisted.
Katie found herself in the same back garden she had admired so much that first day.
“Actually, I had no intention of telling you anything,” she responded coolly.
“I know you’re upset, Katie.
Why won’t you tell me what’s going on?”
She felt the heat burn in her chest before it reached her cheeks. “Nothing’s going on! Everything is fine.” She stalked off down one of the winding pathways leading deeper into the garden.
In one stride he surpassed her and hedged his body between hers and her intended path. Glancing toward the upper story of the house, his brow furrowed. “Shut the window, Mum! The whole
lot of you have
been caught!”
Katie turned just in time to see the heads of Lottie, Sidney, Mrs. Albright, and Geoffrey dart out of view from the living room window.
“They’re worse than children,” he chuckled, causing Katie to giggle in spite of herself.
Before she could recover her state of anger, Lucas seized his opportunity to speak earnestly. “Katie, I don’t want you to leave.”
She made to speak, but he held a silencing finger to her lips, which not only silenced her words, but also her breathing.
“Maybe this sounds corny, but I feel like we’re already brilliant friends.”
“I do, too,” she admitted reluctantly. “But I’m sure Olivia won’t approve of us being friends. And I’m not looking forward to another bout of alcohol poisoning.” She sidestepped him and continued her exploration of the garden.
“Olivia and I are over,” he announced flatly, stopping Katie in her tracks. “We broke up last night.”
Katie felt a sudden chill run over her, and it wasn’t from the ugly dark clouds that were beginning to gobble up the sun. She resumed her brisk walk, not sure she wanted to hear the rest.
He kept pace with her. “I can’t be with someone who would deny me the close friendship of a cousin.” He nudged her playfully,
then
looked at her in all seriousness. “Katie, you helped me see a side of Olivia I never knew. And you helped me keep the Waverlys’ account. Why would I let you quit—well, other than the fact that I promised you could? You’re my lucky rabbit’s foot.”
A slight breeze blew through the light weave of Katie’s skirt and nipped at her bare legs. Feeling a panic not from the weather, but from his words, she picked up her pace. Of course she didn’t want Lucas to marry Olivia, but neither did she want to be responsible for their demise.
“Lucas, just because I bring out the worst in people doesn’t mean you should second-guess your engagement. Plus, the Waverlys were never going to fire you. They wanted to work with you before Olivia ever got involved. You’re giving me way too much credit.”
They had come to the end of the garden where the break between gargantuan hedges led into the tall wooded area. Just like the first time she noticed it, she had an overwhelming urge to discover what was beyond the forest of trees. It had to be something magical like Narnia or Hogwarts.
Fueled by her impulse, she let the conversation fall and ventured beyond the ordered protection of the hedges. At the opening
of a wide shady clearing, an ornate metal bench sat at the base of a large, flowering tree that began the thick wall of forest.
“Oh, it’s wonderful!” she exclaimed, walking to the back of the clearing, ready to explore further. Lucas caught her by the arm. “What are you doing?”
“I want to see what’s beyond the trees.”
She didn’t have to wait for an answer. She could hear it whistling through the treetops with such velocity that she barely registered the panicked expression on Lucas’s face before the charging white blur crashed into the side of her forehead. The force of the impact propelled her body into a helpless freefall. Everything was fuzzy except the excruciating pain. Somewhere in the back of her subconscious mind, she sensed his strong arms reach her before she hit the ground. And then she felt irritated that just then, someone cued the rain, but that was all she felt before she felt nothing.