Miss Mary Martha Crawford (23 page)

The noise subsided; she spluttered and coughed a number of times, and then there was silence; and after a time she pulled herself up, saying,

"Oh, Dilly. Oh... oh, I'm sorry."

Her breath was still coming in gasps, her face still awash, her head wagging from side to side as if on a spring.

"I ... I shouldn't have given way, I shouldn't, but oh, Dilly, I need you. There's no one but you I can turn to. What will I do without

you? What will we all do without you? And you've never had any

recompense for all the work you've done. Four shillings a week is the most you've ever had. It's scandalous scandalous. I've thought about it a lot.... I..."

"There, there, give over now and listen to me. Now give over, an'

listen I say, 'cos I want to say something serious. As you say, four shillings a week I've had, but I've had it regular for the last forty years; three shillings afore that, two afore that, and a shilling a

week when I started like young Peg has now. But I've never been one to spend much. The mistress bought me me frocks, a new one every year,

an' she gave me her petticoats. All I've ever bought in me life was a couple of bonnets an' me boots, an' so, as I say, listen to me, me

dear." She was gripping Martha's hands now.

"There's a tidy sum I'm leavin' an' I'm leavin' it to you; it's all arranged. I told himself, that is the doctor, I told him yesterday.

An' I asked him would I have to sign anything an' he said yes, it would be better that way, an' so he wrote it down an' I put me cross to it, an' it's all yours, an' it's in me tin box under the bed up there."

As Dilly thumbed towards the ceiling, the surge of emotion once again tore through Martha. It was too much. Her voice was a loud cry.

"Oh Dilly, Dilly. Oh Dilly." Again she buried her head on Dilly's breast, and again she was sobbing unrestrainedly.

When the door was thrust open and Mildred and Nancy came rushing up the room, Dilly's raised hand checked them and they stood looking at the unusual sight and sound of Martha Mary crying, and crying in such an unrestrained way.

Dilly's voice now brought their eyes from Martha to herself as she said curtly, "Go into the kitchen, both of you, an' ask Peg to show you how to cut up the rabbits. Tell her it's for a stew. Go on now."

They both hesitated, Mildred evidently about to bristle, but on this occasion thinking better of it she turned abruptly and went out of the room and Nancy, after staring at Martha who was showing such unusual distress, bowed her head, bit tight on her lip and, turning, followed Mildred.

In the hall they looked at each other, and the tears now raining down Nancy's own face, she bent forward and whispered fiercely, "You see you see what you've done."

The? Now don't you dare blame me.

"Yes, I will blame you. You were the last straw, and ... and you're a fool. You ... you don't appreciate what a chance you're getting.

Oh!"

Mildred now watched Nancy running towards the kitchen and she stood for a moment, her lips pressed tightly together as she considered her last words. Perhaps it was a chance, she would be going out into the world, she'd meet people; and Martha Mary's gibe might not be so far out

either. If only she hadn't to suffer the indignity of riding on the

carrier's cart. That was too much, most undignified. She now cast her glance back towards the drawing-room door as she thought. "

And that scene in there too was undignified, Martha Mary giving way

like that, howling her eyes out in

the arms of Dilly as Peg or any of her like might have done. She

recalled Miss Simpson's words when teaching deportment in the private school, "A lady never shows her emotions in public, we leave that to the common people."

She walked slowly towards the kitchen now. In a way there were lots of things about Martha Mary that were common; she raised her voice, she showed her temper, and she had no idea of' keeping servants in their rightful place. Now if she had been the eldest.

it was the end of March and the wind was still sheathed in ice; it

raged round the house and penetrated the warped window frames, the

doors and the chimneys; particularly the chimneys, for it whirled down the drawing-room one and blew the smoke all over Mr. Paine and made

him cough. And Harry, too, coughed for he was sitting straight

opposite the fireplace. Roland who was sitting to the left of him did not cough but turned his head away while the three girls to the right of him bowed their heads and made small noises in their throats. Mr.

Paine's bout of coughing over, he now cast his glance about them all as he said, "It would appear that I never visit you except on sad

occasions, yet I am very pleased to say there's a little brightness

attached to this particular one. The deceased, Miss Lilian Thompson, who worked as a servant in this house from when she was a young girl did not forget the kindnesses shown to her, particularly by you Miss Martha."

Martha looked straight back through the pale grey atmosphere at Mr.

Paine. She knew what was coming and she felt a deep embarrassment, but it was not untouched with excitement. Dear Dilly had left her her

savings, and no matter how small they might be they would be the means of alleviating the financial stress which at present was more than ever weighing on the house.

"Miss Thompson confided her wishes on this matter to Doctor Fuller' Mr.

Paine inclined his head towards Harry 'and the doctor, after writing down her wishes, brought the document to me, because he was not sure of its legality as she | was unfortunately only able to make her mark with a cross. I was able to point out that this being so a witness would

be

needed and as, you may remember, I happened to be passing this way

when the doctor was calling, together we made the document legal. " He now exchanged a penetrating look with Harry before saying, " Isn't that so, doctor? "

Yes, Mr. Paine. "

"Well, now, there are no complications in this will, so I shall read what it says." He now lifted up the sheet of ordinary paper and read:

I, Lily Thompson, who am in my right mind and, having no relatives of my own left upon this earth, leave my life savings, which are in a tin box under my bed, to Martha Mary Crawford, who I helped bring into the world, and who has been like my own since, and who is now lovingly

seeing me out of it.

Two wishes I will make: first, that she spend most of the money on

herself, and second, that she give to Peg Thomycroft ten pounds.

Signed this fourth day of February, 1880.

Martha's chin was now on her chest and all she could think was, Oh

Dilly, Dilly. And there returned to her the feeling she'd experienced as she washed and dressed Dilly for the last time that she had lost the only friend she had on earth. No one had understood her as Dilly had.

She had never been demonstrative" her tongue had been sharp at times but always Martha knew that Dilly had liked her ... loved her, were the words she should use. And she had loved Dilly. But she hadn't shown

it, not until that night when she had cried her heart out in her

arms.

Tears were choking her again. There was a silence all about her and in it her sensitivity picked up a feeling of hostility. She raised her

head and looked from one to the other. Oh, she wished Dilly had spread her savings and had left the others something, particularly Roland and Mildred. But they would get the benefit of it in the long run because she would spend it on the house. Yet it wasn't the same and their

expressions endorsed this.

"Well, we'd better open the trunk." Mr. Paine was now inserting a key into the padlock of the red tin trunk that the doctor had lifted on to the table at his side. The key made a grating sound. He lifted the lid, stared downwards for a moment, then looked about him before

putting his hand into the trunk and lifting out one small calico bag after another.

When the last bag was on the table he passed his hands around the

inside of the trunk, saying, "I think that is all. What is left in here now appears to be a few personal garments Then looking at Harry, he asked, " Would you help me, doctor? "

Harry, getting to his feet, went to the table and together they undid the strings that tied the small hand-sewn bags. One after the other

they turned out their contents until there was lying on the table a

goodly pile of sovereigns and half-sovereigns , and such was its size that it amazed all those present, even Harry, but mostly it amazed

Martha.

When she finally heard Mr. Paine saying, "Two hundred and twenty-three pounds. Would you check again, doctor' all her mind seemed capable of saying was. Oh, Dilly, Dilly.

"Yes, two hundred and twenty-three pounds, Mr. Paine." They both now turned and looked at Martha, but she couldn't see them; it was quite impossible to prevent her tears from flowing. She heard Mr. Paine's

voice saying, "A tidy sum ... indeed a tidy sum. I'm happy for you.

Miss Martha Mary. "

She should have said, "Thank you," but she couldn't speak. She heard the door opening and Peg's voice saying, "Tea's all ready. Miss Martha Ma ..."

Peg's voice trailed away as she realized she had come in at the wrong time, but the doctor was speaking to her, "Come here a minute. Peg,"

he said.

Martha hastily wiped her eyes and saw Peg tentatively approaching the company. She saw the doctor stooping down to her and then pointing to herself, saying, "I think your mistress has something to tell you."

She watched him press Peg towards her, and when the 168 slight form

was standing in front of her she put out her hands and took hold of the two scarred ones and, her voice breaking, she said, "Dilly... Dilly left you some money, Peg, ten pounds."

"What!" The single word crescendoed at the end, then she glanced round at those present before looking back at Martha and saying, The? She

left me ten pounds? Dilly! Why, 'tis a fortune. Eeh! I never

thought to see the day. An' she always went for me. " She had turned her head and was nodding up at Harry now.

"But I never took no notice, 'cos I knew how she meant it, her bark was worsen her bite. But ten pounds." Her mouth was in a gape when Mr.

Paine said, "Would you like to give it to her now, Miss Crawford?"

"Yes, oh yes." She rose to her feet and went to the table and counted out, not ten sovereigns, but fifteen, and she placed them in one of the linen bags that Dilly had so carefully sewn and, smiling softly, she handed it to the small girl.

"Eeh! Miss Martha Mary, eeh! that I'd live to see the day. Thanks, ta, to think that Dilly would remember me. An' you to stick another

five in. You had no call to do that, you give me enough, an' the way things look you want every pen ... ny." Her voice trailed away under the sea of eyes looking at her.

Martha closed her eyes for a moment. There was too much emotion

filling the room, she would break down completely if she didn't curb it. Putting her hand on Peg's shoulder now, she pressed her in the

direction of the door, while at the same time saying, "Would you please come into the dining-room?"

As she walked ahead they filed out of the room after her, Mildred,

Nancy, Roland, Mr. Paine, and lastly Harry, and as he passed the table strewn with the shining sovereigns he thought that it certainly was one of the quirks of life that a servant could leave the daughter of the house what was equivalent, as Peg had said, to a small fortune, while its master had left her nothing but debts. She would, he supposed, use it to help ease the burden on the house, and in so

doing it might help to take the strain from her shoulders . and her

face.

It was two hours later. The guests had gone, and the family was back in the drawing-room.

The money had been removed from the table but not from their minds, and Roland spoke briefly of what was in his, and not without bitterness.

Standing with his back to the fire and taking up most of the heat, he said, "She mustn't have had much use for the rest of us." Martha turned her head slowly and looked up at his averted face.

"She knew I would use it for all our good," she said.

"That isn't the point." He was now glaring down on her, "She could leave Peg ten pounds, why couldn't she leave us a similar sum just to show she had no animosity towards us?"

"Dilly held no animosity towards anyone."

"On the face of it I don't agree with you, but what she certainly had was favourites."

"I spent more time with Dilly than any of you."

He did not take up her remark but said, "She indicated you were special because she brought you into the world; she brought us all into the

world for that matter."

"Roland's right, I think it was spiteful. It wouldn't have mattered so much if she had left you the bulk as long as she had remembered us in some small way. What do you say, Nancy?" Mildred now turned to Nancy who, seeming at this moment to have to collect her thoughts, replied,

"Oh, well, it doesn't matter; as Martha Mary says, she'll use it for all our good."

"What will you use it for?"

Roland held Martha's gaze as she paused for a moment before answering,

"I haven't quite decided yet." She turned her eyes away and looked down the long room towards the window and the grey day merging into

fast approaching twilight. That wasn't true, she knew what she was

going to do, with the money, yet at the same time she asked herself

why. Why had she. thought straightaway of using it to send Roland to the university? Why not use it in an effort to alleviate the pressure of the debts? Or on herself as Dilly had wished? Why was it she

didn't want Roland at home? Was it that she was afraid he would take her status from her, and he would have the first say in everything?

Didn't she want to get rid of the burden of responsibility? Or was it because he was so akin to Mildred that, at bottom, she didn't really like him? Oh no, no. What was the matter with her that she could think this way? The reason she was doing it was in order that with a