I was sitting on the sofa with Dayshawn on my right and Adrian on my left. We all were looking at Tyrone who was standing in the living room floor looking like a washed up ass drag queen. He had so many bruises on his face it was ridiculous. Not to mention his teeth were cracked.
“Give me what happened again, girl, ‘cause this shit don’t add up. And don’t pause a play eitha.”
“Okay…I just gotta stretch out.” She says lying on the floor. “Ya’ll don’t understand what I just been through. Even my nuts hurt!”
Adrian gasps and says. “Miss Ty, a real queen never talks about her balls.”
Now I don’t doubt she feels some kind of way after getting the black beat off of her, but she’s doin’ stunts and shows with all the gripping of her stomach and head. I have no room in my body for sympathy for her so I don’t even pretend to care. All I know is that I gave her some money to handle a job that ain’t done. And what does she do? Take her country ass over there, get beat for points and spends my money.
“When you finish your performance, I need to know what the fuck happened.”
“Wayne, please don’t look so mad. I know you probably pissed at me for doin’ the job myself, it’s just that I felt I could do it better. And I needed the money.”
“How is it that you felt like you could do it better? Didn’t she beat your ass back to the future before?”
“Yeah…but I wasn’t thinkin’.” He pauses. “I use to be able to hold my own back in my day. Adrian, tell him about the time I put work in on that queen who hit you last year.”
Adrian uncomfortably says, “I wanna stay out of it.”
Tyrone shoots him an evil glare.
“I don’t give a fuck what she remembers. I’m interested in finding out why I’m out of five hundred dollars and why I was sent a picture of you and Garisha’s monkey lookin’ ass on my cell phone. So please…save yesterday’s storylines and get to today’s paper!”
“Okay…so I go over there and tell her that you came to collect from her ass for the burning she put down on the house.”
“Why would you say my name?”
“Because she caught us.”
Damn this bitch stupid! “Go ‘head, Tyrone.”
“She was all like, ‘I burned down the house so the fuck what. It was my house and ya’ll were in it!’ She said she told us to leave but we wouldn’t listen. The next thing I know, thirty big ass girls come from around the corner and stomped me and Garisha into next week. Then he sent the picture.”
“But why would you go over there? I know you can’t read but are you retarded too?”
He frowns and looks as if he wants to strike me but trust me babies, she knows better. “It’s done, Wayne. Alls I can say is sorry now.”
I had it with her.
I’m over.
I can take no more disobedience from her fat ass.
“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t write you out of my life
and
this house?”
“Well...for starters, I can tell you how to really get at him.”
“I’m not listenin’ to you.”
“Please…I know what he really wants and takin’ it from him would hurt more than anything else you do.”
“And what’s that?”
“He wants to win the House of Star’s Drag ball next month. You know it’s the biggest ball yet and everybody sayin’ how he’s goin’ for the Legendary category. If you beat her, and take her crown, she will be fucked up.”
As I think about the new information I’m given, for some reason, I’m more than interested. It’s been a while since I participated in a ball but I’m sure I could dust myself off and still shine. Still, Tyrone has to go.
“I know you ain’t got no place to stay so I’ma make it simple. You got three weeks to find you another situation because the one right here ain’t workin’.”
“Wayne!” he wails. “I ain’t got nowhere to go. You know Shannon died.”
This bitch hasn’t said a mumbling word about his wife since he halfway killed her. He’s not even going to the funeral. But he fixes his lips to say that shit? He’s the worst.
“Cunt, that’s nowhere near my problem! And you wouldn’t know the word sorry if it sat in front of you on paper…literally. What I’m gonna do is let you keep that five hundred dollars you spent and give you a chance to save up to find another place. Consider yourself lucky.”
Tyrone stands up, looks at me and says, “I’m not about to beg you again, Wayne. But thank you for the extra time.”
As she walks to her bedroom, I think about the first time I met her and Dayshawn. I should’ve known then that she was nothin’ but trouble.
“Did ya’ll hear about Old Man Dennis?” Parade said, sucking on a lollipop. They were sitting on the steps of Wayne’s apartment building.
“Naw…what happened?”
“He was murdered for no reason yesterday.” “How?”
“They didn’t say much, just that it’s not pretty. I
“You always know the neighborhood gossip,” Sky said.
“That’s ‘cause my mama always runnin’ her mouth on the phone.”
“Well I got gossip too,” Wayne said.
“What?” they all asked with widened eyes.
“Did ya’ll hear that I’m mad at ya’ll ‘cause ya’ll wanna do the same stuff everyday instead of going to the block party today?” Wayne said.
“Wayne, please stop talking about that dumb party. We can’t go today.” Daffany said.
“Come on ya’ll! It’s gonna be off the hook! I just know it.”
“But we going to the movies,” Sky reminded him. “I told you my mama was taking all of us. She was taking you too until you changed your mind.”
“We can go to the movies anytime.”
“Yeah but she’s paying for us too,” Parade added. “I don’t pass up no chance to get out of my house.”
“I wish you didn’t pass up a chance to brush your hair before leavin’ the house,” Sky laughed. “It’s all knotty and shit.”
“Shut up, Sky!” Said Daffany.
“Forget it,” Wayne said ignoring one of their usual fights. “I’ma go by myself.”
“Don’t be that way, Wayne.” Daffany said. “It’s not like we don’t want to go. We just made other plans.”
As Wayne begged and begged harder, Dayshawn and Tyrone, the neighborhood gay boys walked down the street.
“Hey…why don’t you ask them,” Parade offered, pointing in their direction.
Wayne looked at the two of them. Although Dayshawn was cute and walked with a slight switch, Tyrone was trying too hard by tying the back of his white t-shirt up in a knot and carrying a big ass red purse. His jeans were real tight and he was wearing a red pair of converse, no socks.
“Yeah…it ain’t like they not like you.” Sky laughed. Although she wasn’t a bitch all the time, when she was, everyone noticed.
“And how is that, Sky?”
“Fruity.” She laughed.
“Bitch, I’m not fruity, I’m fabulous! There’s a difference.” Miss Wayne corrected her.
“Well you betta go ask them,” Parade said picking at a scab on her knee. “They about to walk away.”
Putting his pride to the side, he ran up to them and said, “Excuse me, what ya’ll ‘bout to do?”
Dayshawn said, “We headed to the block party. Why? What’s up?”
“Yeah…what you want with us? You neva got no time for nobody but your little crew over there. So what gives now?” Tyrone said. Wayne wasn’t sure, but he had a feeling that Tyrone was drunk.
Wayne looked back at his friends who were staring at him with hopeful eyes wondering if he should just leave things alone.
“They are my friends, but I do get up with other people when I want to. And I want to now. I see ya’ll around high school all the time.” He continued, slight silence filled their space. “Anyway, the name’s Miss Wayne. What’s yours?”
“I’m Tyrone and this is Dayshawn.”
“So what’s up? Ya’ll mind if I roll with you or not?”
“Don’t make me no neva mind.” Tyrone said.
When they got to the block party, it was packed. People were everywhere and it was hard to move around. But what surprised Wayne was that he was having so much fun with them that he didn’t mind the crowd and people stepping on his toes. It felt good being with people who looked slightly like himself.
“So Wayne, have you tried it with boys yet?” Tyrone asked sucking a strawberry sno-cone ball.
“What you mean?”
“You know…let them put it in your mouth and stuff?”
“Naw…I ain’t gay-gay. I just like dressin’ the way I do.”
They laughed so hard Wayne looked behind him to see if someone was there.
“Hold up, did you say that you aren’t gay-gay?” Tyrone asked.
“Yeah…well, you know what I mean.”
“Honey, there ain’t but one type of gay and you’re it!” Tyrone said. “Trust me I know.”
“Well if I never been with a boy I must not be gay at all then.”
“How is it that you don’t know who you are yet?” Dayshawn asked seriously. “It must be rough bein’ in denial. I can’t believe you ain’t been with no boys either.”
“Well I haven’t and for real…I ain’t trippin’.”
“Well…the reason I’m asking is because my boyfriend Cramer and his friends are having a get together in a few minutes. Other boys gonna be there too. You sure you don’t wanna hook up?”
“First of all Cramer is not your boyfriend,” Dayshawn said. “He has a girlfriend and as far as I know…you do too. Don’t you be with Shannon all the time?”
“That’s a long story. But forget all that…Wayne you wanna roll or not?”
Wayne thought about saying no, after all, just because he was gay didn’t mean he wanted to have sex with boys. Just thinking about being with someone he didn’t know made him uncomfortable. Sure he’d look at the football team at school and feel small flutters within the pit of his stomach, but that was the extent of it. And now that the offer had presented itself, he wondered what to do.
“Okay.”
“Okay?” Dayshawn repeated as they stood in front of a hot dog stand.
“I’ll go.” Wayne confirmed.
“Let’s hit it!” Tyrone cheered. “I don’t’ want to miss them.”
Fifteen minutes later, they were in a crampy house a few blocks away from Wayne’s apartment complex. Six teenagers were present, including Dayshawn, Tyrone and Wayne. And Wayne’s guess about Tyrone being drunk was confirmed when he saw him drinking vodka.
“So what ya’ll wanna do?” Cramer asked Tyrone and his crew, as he played with a video game system. He sat on a chair in front of the TV.
“I don’t know…what you wanna do?” Tyrone asked.
“Nothin’ for real, I was gonna show you my new sneakers if you want to see ‘em.” He said. That was his way of getting Tyrone alone without admitting that he wanted to fuck him like he normally did.
Tyrone smiled and said, “I’ll go look at them with you.” Before Tyrone left he said, “Wayne…don’t be all stuck up either if you wanna hang with us from now on. Have fun now and ask questions later.”
Minutes later, Dayshawn and James also excused themselves to another small bedroom within the basement, leaving Wayne and Michael alone.
Michael was a cute teenager with hazel eyes and light brown skin. Wayne had been looking at him allnight and hoped he was for him. He liked that he seemed shy and quiet like himself.
“You live around here?” Michael asked.
“Yeah. Up the street.”
“Oh…me too.”
Michael mindlessly changed channels on the television and it was obvious that he was trying to find something to keep him busy.
“So…you like boys or something?” Michael asked.
“No! Do you?!” Wayne asked defensively.
“No…I mean…I don’t think so.”
For some reason, when the words exited his lips, Wayne’s heart fluttered. It wasn’t what he said but how he said it. He could tell in that one instance, that Michael was as conflicted as he was about his sexuality.
“Well…I don’t think so either,” Wayne smiled, crossing his legs.
“Come over here. Sit next to me.” Michael directed. Wayne sat next to him and Michael asked, “Can I have a kiss?”
“I thought you said you don’t like boys.”
“I don’t, but I like you. So you gonna kiss me or what?”
Suddenly it was as if the shy kid had left and his confident twin brother had remained in his place.
Wayne kissed him quickly and removed his lips to look into his eyes making Michael smile.
“Don’t be nervous. Kiss me again.” Michael chuckled. “I ain’t gonna hurt you or nothin’.”
“Before I do all of that, do you have a girlfriend?” Wayne inquired. “’Cause I’m not kissin’ you if you have a girl.”
“Naw. I ain’t got no shawty.”
Having heard enough, Wayne moved back in toward him and kissed his lips again. This time it lasted longer and was more passionate. Their tongues ran in and out of each other’s mouth and Wayne felt himself growing inside of his pants.
“Can you kiss it for me?” Asked Michael. “Look what you made me do.”
“That wasn’t me?”
“It was. Stop bein’ a tease.”
“I’m not.”
“I like you, but if you not willin’ to try new stuff, I’m not messin’ with you no more. I want you to kiss it for me and tell me if you like it.”
“But I never done it before.” Wayne advised.
“I’ll teach you,” Michael said unfastening his jeans. When his pants and boxers hung over his brand new sneaks, he stroked himself and said, “Come over here and get on your knees.”
Wayne slowly complied and waited for his next command. He liked the boy a lot and was hoping he liked him too. Although he never had a boyfriend before if Michael acted right, he wanted him to be his first.
“Now, open your mouth and suck it softly.”
Wayne put his mouth over his thickness and inhaled the smell of soapy smelling skin. He made a mental note to find the soap he used so he could buy some for himself.
Doing the best he could, he opened his mouth wide and mindlessly licked the shaft of his penis. And when his mouth grew tired, he closed it a little too much biting down on him.
“Ouch! You put your teeth on my joint!” Michael screamed in an angry tone. “Be fuckin’ careful and you betta not do it again either!”
Just like that, Michael had changed. He wasn’t the same nice boy he met moments earlier.
Grabbing Wayne’s cheeks to together he said, “Now…do it slowly and open your mouth WIDER. You hear me? If you scrape my joint again I’ma fuck you up!”
He released his face and Wayne doing what was asked of him, opened his mouth and continued sucking his dick, carefully, keeping his hands on the shaft to control how much was being thrust into his mouth at one time. That was until Micheal smacked his hands away and palmed the back of his head. He could barely breathe as he pumped in and out of his throat.
“That’s good! Keep that shit right there you faggy bitch! You like to suck dicks and shit do you? That’s what you like? Then that’s what I’ma give you.”
Wayne wanted to cry and he never imagined being with a boy would hurt so badly. All he wanted was for it all to be over. And then he heard a loud noise upstairs, followed by heavy footsteps leading toward the basement. Michael trying to bust a nut, appeared to be unphased by the commotion upstairs.
Seconds later, he filled Wayne’s mouth with cum.
“Where is my son?!” a woman’s voice screamed from above them.
Wayne thinking he was going crazy, jumped up and did a poor job of wiping the semen off of his face.
It can’t be mama! He thought. It can’t be!
His thoughts were incorrect when he saw his mother shoot down the stairs as fast as her body would carry her. When she finally reached the bottom, her angry face turned to sadness when she saw her son. Following her stares, Wayne was scared when he saw Michael hadn’t pulled up his pants yet.
“Wayne, let’s go!” she said to him although looking at Michael. “And young man, you better never let me see your mother…or I’ma tell her about this incident. And you better never tell anyone, not even your friends, what happened between you and my son. You get me?”
“Yess mam.”
When they were in the car, Marbel drove in silence for two minutes before speaking. “Wayne…why would you disrespect yourself that way? I’m so disappointed in you. I can’t believe you’d do this to yourself or me.”
In all the years he’d known his mother, she never said the word disappointment and his name in the same sentence. Tears flooded Wayne’s eyes and as quickly as he wiped them away, more appeared.
“I don’t know…I just wanted to…fit in with my new friends.”
“What do you mean? How is what you were doin’ back there fittin’ in?”
Wayne hung his head low and said, “I think I’m gay, mama. And the boys I were with today are too. I just wanted to be with people that are like me. I didn’t know none of this was gonna happen.”
Marbel parked the car in front of their apartment building. When she saw Parade, Daffany and Sky walk toward the car like they normally did whenever Wayne got home, she fanned them away. She needed to spend some more time with him alone.
When they were gone she said, “Son, I’ve known you were gay all your life. Even if you didn’t.”
“How? I mean, whenever someone called me gay, you’d get upset.”
“I was upset because they were trying to use the way God made you against you. Havin’ sex with boys or degradin’ your body is not a part of being gay and I hated that they wanted you to feel bad for it.
“They were stupid and I wasn’t going to allow it…not while I had breath in my body anyway,” She paused. When she saw his tears still streaming she said, “Son…those two boys you were with today at the block party are damaged. I know both of their parents from the hospital I worked at some years back. They’d tossed in their cards a long time ago when it came to their sons, but not me. I care about mine. And I’m gonna live as long as I can, until I’m sure that you can understand that.”
“I feel so bad. I’m sorry you had to see that, ma.”
Wayne’s head hung low.
“I don’t want you to beat yourself up anymore, son.” She said as she held his sweaty hand. “And I’m sorry for shoutin’ at you too. My screamin’ and hollerin’ doesn’t mean I don’t love you though. It means the exact opposite.”
“I’m sorry too, mama. I didn’t mean to make you upset.”
“I know you are son.” Spotting a small white-crusted spot in the corner of his lips, she grabbed a tissue from her glove compartment, put a little spit on it, and wiped it away. She knew what it was and it broke her heart.
“Mama…how did you know where I was?”
“Daffany’s mother saw you going inside the house. Apparently she was on her way over there to earn some cash doin’ what she does best,” she started, speaking of the blow jobs everyone knew she dished to the neighborhood boys, “when she saw you and your friends walk in. She said she was concerned for my child but I know what it really was. She was afraid you kids would get in her way and take money out of her pocket.”
Wayne was saddened at someone else knowing about his shame, especially one of his friend’s mothers. What if she forbade Daffany from seeing him? That would crush him.
“But son, you can’t tell Daffany about what her mother did. That little girl has too much to deal with as it is.”
“I won’t say anything, mom. I promise.”
“Good, son.” She said gripping his hand.
Suddenly, Marbel looked out ahead of her and then back at Wayne in a confused state. It appeared as if something serious was on her mind.
“You okay, mom?”
“Huh?” she responded.
“Is everything okay?”
“Uh…yeah…everything’s fine.”
“You sure. You look like something else is wrong.”
“Son…where are we going?” she asked seriously. “Why are we in the car?”
“What you mean, mama?”
“Were we getting ready to go somewhere?” she asked in a low voice.
“No…we…were getting ready to go in the house. You just came and got me. Don’t you remember?”
Silence.
“Oh…I see. Come on, son. Let’s go inside.” She said opening her car door.
Wayne was confused by his mother’s sudden memory lapse…but it wouldn’t be the last time he’d have to deal with it either. It would be the beginning of their relationship changing forever.