Missing Lily (Tales of Dalthia) (27 page)

“Come along, girls. Let us admire this baby to our hearts’ content.”

We entered the nursery and the nurse stumbled into a curtsey. She answered my mother’s questions with quite a bit of fidgeting before my mother told her that we would summon her if she was needed.

“Shouldn’t we check on Kalina?” Lorraina asked as we all settled close together.

“Kalina is sleeping, as is William,” my mother answered, “and we will only wake her if this young man needs to eat.”

“Perhaps we’ll be lucky and William will sleep through our entire visit.” Lorraina’s comment was offhand as she wrapped the baby’s fingers around one of her own, but I couldn’t ignore it this time.

“What objection can you possibly have to William?” I asked, keeping my voice low. “And why the sudden need to air your grievances now, after they have been married for three years?”

“I’ve never been forced to come before now.” Her tone was still offhand.

“Girls,” Mother said calmly, but Raina ignored her.

“He helped with Ella’s kidnapping and then abandoned his own kingdom.”

“He protected Ella the best he could, and the reason he
abandoned
his kingdom is because he refused to bend to the will of an unworthy prince any longer. But
you know all that.
”

“I just don’t understand how she could marry a man who wasn’t fully trustworthy.”

“Sort of like Tobias?”

She finally looked at me, her eyes snapping and her face flushed. “I am not marrying Tobias, am I?”

“Girls,” Mother said, more firmly. “That’s enough.”

I looked back at the sleeping baby boy and couldn’t help being softened by the sight. “You should have seen him, Raina. When Mother first came up, William had his son sleeping on his chest. His past may not be pristine, but he is a truly good man. I wish you could see that.”

We let the subject drop and instead took turns holding the baby and speaking of more trivial things until he started to fuss in my arms.

“Looks like he needs your sister,” my mother said, holding her hands out.

“I’ll take him.”

I walked down the hall, knocked on Kalina’s door and let myself in. William helped her into a sitting position and I handed over the baby and left.

Coming back to the nursery, I stopped at the sound of Lorraina’s voice.

“I just don’t understand what would prompt her to marry a man like William. She could have married someone so much more worthy. Her husband could have been the next king. And now, thanks to Ella and Kalina, we must entrust the entire kingdom to Lylin.”

“Thanks to you as well,” I said from the doorway. “You had just as much of a part in the crown falling to me as any of the rest. If you think I will be such an unworthy candidate, then why don’t you take up the position yourself?”

She kept her nose in the air, but couldn’t meet my gaze.

“Do you think I want this?” I asked. “Well, I don’t. Why don’t
you
take on the simple task of marrying a man worthy of the crown? I’m sure for you it would be no difficulty at all, considering your excellent success with men thus far.”

“Lylin.”

The stern tone of my mother’s voice made me stop, made me notice the hurt on Lorraina’s face that she tried so desperately to hide with defiance.

“I’m going to my room,” I mumbled as I turned from them.

I traversed the hall and climbed the stairs. Missy was hanging my dresses in the wardrobe, and smiled as I entered.

“Is the baby quite a darling?”

“More than darling,” I answered, happy to focus on the baby.

“Does he have a name yet?” she asked, moving to help me out of my traveling clothes.

“You know...I don’t even know.”

***

When I joined my mother and Lorraina for dinner, we kept the conversation light until my mother hurried off to check on Kalina. She had scarcely left the room when Lorraina spoke up.

“I wasn't implying that you weren’t worthy of the crown.”
 

Her quiet voice surprised me, and I studied her face, searching for sincerity. “Weren’t you?”

“No, I wasn’t. You’ll make an excellent queen, but I know that you don’t want the responsibility, which is why it upsets me that Ella and Kalina would choose to marry so far below themselves.”

“They didn’t marry below themselves.”

“Of course they did. At least if Mia were chosen to rule, her husband would not cause a rebellion. But imagine if Kalina tried to take the crown with a husband who betrayed and abandoned his kingdom. Or what of Ella and her common husband? Can’t you see how unworthy their choices were?”

“And what of Marilee? Do you think that her brute of a husband would be better suited than William or Gavin?”

She shrugged. “He is nobility. And he’s not a traitor.”

My mouth fell open, horrified. “How can you say that? Yes, he’s nobility. He’s also sucking the life from our sister because of his high handed, manipulative behavior. All she saw when she married him was his handsome face and his title. And now she is miserable. Is that really the kind of marriage we should all be seeking?”

I paused, hoping to see some sort of understanding, but she just raised her chin and kept silent. I tried a different approach. “How can you judge Kalina and Ella’s choice of husband when you fell in love with Tobias? Not only is he a noble without a title, but he’s a violent man with a grudge against our entire family. He
hates
your parents. He
hates
your sisters.”

“I’m not marrying Tobias!” she shouted, rising to her feet. “I had feelings for him. I still do. But I will not let those feelings interfere with my good judgment. Can Kalina and Ella say the same?”

“You think they showed a lack of good judgment by marrying men who respect them? Who love them and are fiercely protective?”

She didn’t answer.

“They’re
happy
, Lorraina. That is the difference between their situations and yours. I can’t imagine that living with a man prone to violent bursts of temper would bring you satisfaction. If you had chosen Tobias, if you had chosen to ignore status the way Ella did, can you honestly say that a life with him would have made you happy?”

“No. But just because they are happy now doesn’t mean it’s going to last. At some point they are going to realize how unequal their marriages are, and then what?”

I sat silent, not knowing how to answer her twisted logic, and she eventually resumed her seat.

“My point was that their selfishness has led to this responsibility being placed on your shoulders. Are you honestly not angry about that?”

“I’m no more angry with them than I am with you.”

“I’d be no good at ruling and you know it.”

I did, but saying so would have been rude.
 

And the truth was that I was angry, with all of them. Not that they deserved it, but there was no one else to blame.

Chapter 20

T
HE
DAY
WE
returned from Kalina’s house, my mother set herself to the task of organizing a ball in honor of her newest grandchild. It would not take place for another six weeks, but my first thought was whether or not Rhys might attend. Would he come to see me?

I found myself more willing than ever to help my mother with her preparations. Because if Rhys did come…the idea made me invest a good amount of energy and attention in its planning. Whether I agreed with how he had handled the situation or not, I couldn’t keep myself from wanting to see him again.

Those six weeks passed in an achingly slow manner, but the day finally arrived, and with it came Kalina, William, and baby Heston.

“Tell me again why mother insists on these celebrations,” Kalina huffed as she climbed the stairs with an entourage of servants carrying several trunks. “Do you know how many of these trunks are for Heston? And it’s not as if he’ll be enjoying his party. I’m hoping very much that he’ll sleep through most of it.”

I shrugged. “I don’t understand the reason for half of the celebrations we orchestrate.”

Entering her room, the nursemaid who carried Heston went to put him down, but I took him instead. I reveled in the feeling of him snuggling into my chest while Kalina tried to get settled. She bustled around while I rubbed my cheek against the baby’s soft head and wrapped his tiny fingers around my thumb. When he woke up hungry, I grudgingly handed him over and went on my way.

That afternoon, I watched as guest after guest started filling the castle. Most would leave right after the ball ended, but there were a handful that had traveled some distance and would be staying the night. As they filtered in, the space around me grew ever smaller. I determined that I had to get away or I would go mad. A crowd of people filling the castle was disconcerting enough, but waiting and watching to see if Rhys would show up was too much. I knew the chances of his coming were slim. Why should he want to throw himself into a crowd of people all intent on gossiping about him and his failed betrothal? He wouldn’t.

I rode outside the palace walls, Nathaniel dutifully at my side, while a second guard rode behind us at a distance. We made our way through the forest to a waterfall that Ella had once shown me. It was her favorite spot, the spot she and Gavin would slip away to when they were just friends–and then when they were more than just friends. He had proposed to her there, and it was a truly beautiful place.

As we neared the waterfall, I gestured for Nathaniel to stop. I thought I had heard a woman yelling. When the shout of a man reached our ears clearly, we dismounted, leaving our horses with the other guard, and continued cautiously on foot. When we came within view of the waterfall, my tension eased and I nearly laughed. Nathaniel and I stayed back as we watched Ella and Gavin in the water. Apparently they had decided to stop at the waterfall before coming to the castle.

Ella was crouched on a boulder at the top of the waterfall, drenched from head to foot, looking with trepidation at the pool below where Gavin waited, treading water.

“Are you coming or not?” Gavin hollered up at her.

“I am. Just give me a moment.” She fidgeted, shaking her hands at her side.

“Shall I come up there and help you?”

“No!” she yelled. “The last thing I need is to be pushed off by you.”

“You don’t have to do this, you know. It’s supposed to be fun.”

“I know, but I want to. I’m going to,” she insisted, standing up.

“Well then, come on. The longer you wait, the harder it will be.”

She crouched back down. “What if the water’s too shallow?”

“I’m at the deepest part, just jump right in front of me.”

“What if I land on top of you?”

He was silent a moment and then his laughter floated on the air. “I’m all right with that.”

She grabbed some pebbles and tossed them down on him. “Don’t be a rogue.”

“Why ever not?”

“All right.” She stood up. “I’m doing it. I’m doing it.” She squealed in determination and jumped into the water.
 

As soon as her head broke the surface, Gavin had his arms around her, laughing. “Well done. I didn’t think you would actually do it.”

She wiped the water from her face. “I didn’t either.” She was exuberant, and I was not at all surprised when Gavin kissed her smiling mouth.

I turned away, unwilling to intrude any longer, and found Nathaniel with his back to me. I walked around in front of him, a bit baffled. “Have you had your back turned this entire time?”

“Of course.” He raised his eyebrows at me. “Do you think I should have watched Princess Ariella jump into a pool of water in her underclothes?”

My face flooded with heat and I turned back the way we’d come. “Of course not.”

We returned to our horses and mounted in silence. After a couple of minutes, Nathaniel started up the conversation in his usual abrupt manner. “You envy your sister?”

I glanced at him only briefly. “Yes.”

I could feel him studying me. “Why?”

I huffed. “I should think that would be obvious.”

“How long did it take for the princess and Sir Gavin to come to an understanding?”

I knew what he was doing, and I didn’t appreciate it at this moment. “Two years,” I answered grudgingly.

“Do you envy that?”

I sighed, annoyed at his ability to make my difficulties seem not so difficult. “No.”

We rode back to the palace and as we entered the stables, I couldn’t keep my eyes from searching for Rhys’s black stallion. It wasn’t there. I squelched my disappointment and walked back to the castle, wrestling my agitation the entire way. I forced myself to eat something before subjecting myself to Missy’s ministrations. I was distracted, which resulted in Missy having to redo my hair several times, but she finished with plenty of time to spare and I found myself pacing the floor of Lorraina’s room as her maid put the final touches on her ensemble.

“Why are you so anxious, Lylin?”

I turned to her, startled to find that her maid had left and she stood before me. “Pardon?”