Missing Lily (Tales of Dalthia) (28 page)

“You look ready to burst. Now quit torturing your gown,” she said as she slapped my hands, “and tell me what’s wrong.”
 

I hesitated, not at all sure that confiding in Lorraina was wise, but also knowing this conversation had to happen at some point. I studied her face and realized she was genuinely concerned and completely focused on me. That was a rarity, and I decided to take advantage of it.

I blew out a breath and focused on smoothing the sash around my waist while I worked up the nerve to say, “Lord Fallon may be coming.”

I looked up to see her brow furrowed in confusion. “Perhaps, but why should that worry you? If your concern is for me then I can assure you, it may be a bit awkward, but I’m really not worried at all. As long as his
brother
is not present, all should be well.”

I took a breath, lost for words, my anxiety no doubt written in my expression.

She searched my face and then pulled back in surprise. “You’re not worried about me.”

I gave a minute shake of my head.

“Why should Lord Fallon’s presence make you anxious?”

I still had no words.

She studied me for several moments, intent on finding the answer, before there was a hint of understanding in her eyes. “Did...did you and Lord Fallon make a connection?”

I dropped my eyes. “I don’t know.” When my statement was met with silence, I looked up to see that she was the one now speechless. “I’m sorry,” I whispered.

She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and letting it slowly out.
 
“So, it wasn’t completely my fault?” she asked.

It took me a moment to realize what she meant. “No,” I assured her, “we all share the blame.”

She gave me a rather tremulous smile, and I wondered just how much her guilt had been plaguing her. Raina was not usually one to accept blame. I tried to think of something reassuring, but she spoke first.
 

“Shall we go down?”

I had momentarily forgotten my distress in the face of her uncertainty, but it came rushing right back at the mention of actually starting the evening. I immediately tensed. “So, you’re not angry?” I asked.

Her face was slack and heavy as she thought about it. Then she shrugged. “No,” she answered, impassive. “I’m tired of being angry. And you were right. It never would have worked with Rhys while I had feelings for Tobias.”

That reminded me of a question I had wanted to ask for some time. “Why did you never tell anyone about Mr. Fallon?”

“Because I knew that I could never marry him. I didn’t think it was worth telling.”

“We might have been able to help, you know.”

“Help with what?”
 

I was taken aback, wondering if she really didn’t know what I meant. “Why do you never confide in anyone, Raina?”
 

She tilted her head.

“Do you never wish to unburden yourself? To let someone else help you to sort through your struggles?”

I could see her wading through her thoughts for a moment before shrugging with a frown. “I always imagined that any admission of struggle would just distance me from my sisters further.”

“You believe we would think less of you?”

She shrugged, almost nonchalant. “I suppose.”

“Perhaps it would have given us a chance to get to know you better.”

“We’re sisters, Lylin. You all know me.”

I shook my head. “Not very well.”

She appeared relieved and uncomfortable at the same time as she looked away, likely searching for a change of subject. “Lord Fallon is a good and honorable man.”

“I know.” Her acceptance of the situation stunned me so completely that I could think of nothing else to say.

“Come along,” she prompted and put her arm through mine, urging me toward the door.

Chapter 21

A
DAIS
SAT
at one end of the hall with five stairs leading up to my parents’ thrones. My mother and father spent plenty of time mingling freely among the guests, but it was nice for our family to have a place to retreat when we didn’t want to be among the crowds of people.

I was enjoying visiting with Ella while we took a break from dancing. I would be forever grateful that Ella had stayed close to home. She was always a bright spot at any event she attended. And though Gavin stood stiff and uncomfortable in his finery, his sincerity made it nearly impossible for people not to like him. At present, he was conversing with two other gentlemen, though he mostly listened and glanced at his wife constantly.

“Perhaps you should save your husband,” I suggested as his glances took on a slightly panicked quality.
 

Ella looked over and gave him an amused and very affectionate smile. “He’s fine,” she assured me. “He thinks he doesn’t have a handle on the situation, but I’ve never known him to actually make a social blunder.”

“There’s always a first time for everything.”

“Not for him. He married me, and therefore he can do no wrong.”

My laugh was more boisterous than was ladylike, and I looked around to see if my slip-up had been noticed. As I did, I caught a bit of the chatter going on beside us. Several noblewomen huddled together, their gray hairs a testament to their many years as they each leaned in to better hear the others.

“He hasn’t been seen about at all since his one appearance at the princess’s side.”

“But you saw him tonight?”

“Before he was surrounded by admirers, I managed to catch a glimpse. I do wonder
—
” The speaker looked up at that moment and caught my eye. “Princess Lylin, darling.”
 

“Good evening, Lady Sprinn,” I acknowledged.

“We were just speaking of that dear young man, Lord Fallon.”

I blanched, my voice stuck in my throat.

“And what do you think of him?” Ella was kind enough to step in.

“He seems to be quite the mystery,” Lady Sprinn asserted.

“Mystery is putting it mildly,” Lady Bratton said in an undertone. Then she looked at me, as though suddenly excited. “Perhaps you can give us a hint about him.”

I’m sure my surprise showed on my face. “What do you mean?”

“Well, he was seen with your own sister not six weeks ago, but no one has seen him since.”

“Until tonight,” Lady Sprinn was quick to point out.

“Tonight?” I asked.

“Oh yes, Princess. I saw him walk in not ten minutes ago.” She stood tall, trying to see above the many heads in the room. “But I don’t believe he’s made it more than two paces past the entrance.”

My eyes darted in that direction, but I could see no sign of Rhys. If I hadn’t been in a ball gown, I would have found a chair to climb up on.

“Is he here to see your sister?”

I spun back to Lady Sprinn. “What? No,” I answered quickly. “They are only friends.”

Her eyes squinted conspiratorially. “Are you certain of that?”

“Quite.”

“Then what do you suppose he’s doing here? He is known for
not
attending social gatherings. Yet, here he is.”

“I’m sure I don’t know,” I answered in what I hoped was a nonchalant tone. “If you’ll excuse me, ladies, Ella.” I gave them a collective smile and a nod and walked away in the opposite direction from the entrance.

I wanted to run to the other side of the room and see for myself if he really had come, but I had to collect myself first.

I stepped out onto the terrace and tried desperately not to twist fistfuls of my skirt in agitation. He may not even be here. But if he was...

I took a deep breath, determined that that would suffice, and stepped back into the ballroom, hastening around the edge of the room. I had to see him for myself. As I approached the front of the room, there was a distinct knot of women and I thought for certain that I would find Rhys in the middle of it, but I never got the chance. A hand caught my arm and I turned to see Lord Wisen with a broad smile on his face.

“Your Highness, I’ve been looking for you all evening.”

“Oh,” I said in breathless surprise. “Good evening, Lord Wisen. I was just—”

“I know we didn’t part on the best of terms, but I hoped perhaps I might have a moment of your time.”

“I’d be more than happy to give you a moment, but at this particular moment, I’m afraid I am preoccupied. Might we speak in half an hour or so?”

“Very well, Highness.”

I turned away, weaving my way through bodies, searching the crowd for his familiar face. My heart was beating nearly out of my chest by the time I reached the knot of women, but if Rhys had been among them, he certainly wasn’t there now.

I swallowed my disappointment and turned, only to find myself face to face with Rhys. I took an anxious step toward him before stopping myself. I didn’t know how to greet him in this situation—after everything that had happened and in the middle of a crowd—half of whom seemed to be watching the usually reclusive Rhys Fallon.
Lord
Fallon, I reminded myself.

I looked at the faces surrounding us, noting that many of them seemed to be keeping their distance only because he was facing me. When I met their eyes, most looked away.

I turned my eyes back to Rhys and fought for something intelligible to say—something I wouldn’t mind others overhearing.

“Lord Fallon. I had not expected you to come. You look very well.”

“Your Highness.” He bowed deeply. “You look stunning, as always.”

“Thank you.”

“Might I escort you outside for some fresh air?” His request sent a thrill down my spine.

He offered his arm and I reached for it—anxious for even that small contact—only to be interrupted by His Majesty, my father, striding up to us with a hearty, “Lord Fallon!”

Rhys forced a smile and bowed respectfully. “Your Majesty.”

“You look well, indeed. I’m happy you could join in our celebrations. Come,” he said, gesturing toward the other side of the room. “You must say hello to the queen.”

“Gladly, Sire.” Rhys allowed himself to be steered away from me, but glanced back and caught my eye. I tried to smile, but it didn’t work.

“What was that about?” Ella’s voice asked from behind me.

“Nothing.” I walked outside, too nervous to remain still.

Ella followed me out to the garden. “Lylin, what’s the matter?”

“Nothing, I’m just…” I rubbed my palms together, then fidgeted with my dress. “I don’t know.”

She stopped walking, but called after me after only a few steps. “He’s here and he’s no longer betrothed.”

I spun to look at her. “I know, but that doesn’t solve everything.”

“Of course not, but—”

“He was courting Lorraina. I can’t just...” I shook my head, trying to make sense of my thoughts. “I don’t even know if he thinks of me that way.”

”You think the normally reclusive Lord Fallon would show up here after his botched relationship with Raina if he didn’t have something worth coming for?”

I didn’t know what to think. And hoping for something that I desperately wanted was a dangerous path when I was so unsure of his feelings.

Breathing in, I tried to shake off my nerves, and changed the subject. “You really should give Gavin a chance to escape whatever conversation seemed so painful to him.”

“Gavin has the opportunity to escape every time a new dance starts,” she said lightly, looping her arm through mine.

“Except that he hates dancing more than conversing.”

“He does not hate dancing,” she countered.

“He hates
court
dances.”

She shrugged, tugging me back toward the ballroom. “I don’t prefer court dances either, but they’re not going to kill him.”

We entered the ballroom, and despite Ella’s talk of letting Gavin fend for himself, the first thing she did was walk straight over and link arms with him, smiling politely at the other gentlemen before pulling him away with her.

I looked around to see that my parents had retreated to their thrones. Lorraina was with them, conversing with Rhys.

Seeing them together made my chest tighten automatically until I observed that they stood with quite a bit of space between them. There was no intimacy or even familiarity in their stances. And if I were being fair, I could admit that having them seen together, being polite but not overly friendly, was probably a good way for Rhys to ease out of the expectations created at the ball the night before he left.

I tried to be understanding, to give him the benefit of the doubt. He had wanted to speak with me. It wasn’t his fault that my father had terrible timing.

I leaned my shoulder against a column, directing my sullen gaze at the raised platform. Rhys turned his eyes to the assembly and eventually caught my eye. I managed a small smile and his shoulders relaxed as he returned the gesture. I was considering joining my family when Lord Wisen appeared at my side. I heaved a mental sigh. Whatever discussion Lord Wisen wished to have did not interest me.