Missing Lily (Tales of Dalthia) (34 page)

I closed my eyes, not knowing what to say. I wasn’t the only one Tobias had hurt, and of the two of us, it was becoming apparent that Rhys’s pain was deeper. Tobias had certainly wreaked havoc on our lives. He had marked us with grief, carving his betrayal into the relationship we should have been building.

“I’m sorry your brother has hurt you so deeply. But running roughshod into a situation where he can hurt you more will only compound your hurt and mine.” I held his gaze, willing my words to sink in. “Please don’t give him that kind of power.”

He managed a smile through his distress. “How did you get to be so wise?”

I shook my head. “I don’t feel wise.”

We managed to speak of trivial things after that, resolutely avoiding any more mention of Tobias. But our conversation soon lagged as Rhys became lost to his own thoughts. My fingers started aching to write. As odd as it was to write letters to a man who occupied the same house as I did, it was the best way to make sense of my turmoil. I reached for a new piece of paper, expressing my thoughts in a letter, instead of to the man who sat only feet away from me.

Dear Rhys,

How strange to be here in your home with you, but still feel the need to write these letters. I hope one day I will be able to give them to you, to give you all of myself. But I don’t think that’s a good idea right now. You sit here in the same room, brooding and angry. I understand why, and I certainly don’t blame you for your feelings. I just wish neither of us had a reason to brood, to be hurt, to be angry, to feel betrayed, to feel alone.

How horrible it is to be here with you and still feel alone. I relish every moment we have together. Each time we’re able to both forget our worries and our ire, I feel an inexplicable joy. You, my dear Rhys, you bring me joy. But those moments are few and far between, it seems. Because so much of the time, I am frightened, or you are worried. I am trying desperately to convince you to let go of your anger, but when I am honest with myself, I know that my anger burns just as hot. Not because he hurt me, but because he is ruining us.
 

I have faith that we will repair our bond, but I feel so cheated. He has stolen what could have been a beautiful time to just be together, to grow our love. We will never get that back.
 

I am still half disbelieving that I can write that word and know it’s true. To love and be loved, it’s a miraculous thing. And yet, we cannot enjoy it. He has brought us to a standstill, unable to move forward. Until what? Until he tries again? Until he is imprisoned?
 
Until he is dead? Are those the outcomes we are waiting for? Are those really the only ways to break through this endless wait and be able to move again? To breathe again?

And when that happens, am I supposed to feel relief? Somehow I don’t think that’s the way it will be.

Yours,
 

Lylin

***

“I really do think that I would be just fine walking down the stairs myself.”
 

Rhys grinned as he carried me down to the parlor, cradled in his arms. “And pass up the opportunity to take care of you the way I wanted to when we first met?” He kissed my upturned face. “Never.”

“What was wrong with the way you took care of me last time? I thought you did a remarkable job.”

“But I had to act entirely proper the whole time.”

“You still have to act properly, my dear Lord Fallon.”

“To an extent.”

“Rhys Fallon, there are guards posted all throughout this house. My father approves of
 
you entirely as of this moment; don’t you dare do anything to change his mind.”

He set me down on a chair. “I would never, Princess,” he said just before he brushed his lips against my neck.

I smacked his arm with the back of my hand. “Rhys,” I chastised while hiding a smile.

He wiped the grin off his face and straightened into his formal bearing. “Your Highness, what might I do to make you more comfortable? Simply say what you require and it shall be done with the utmost haste.”

I tried to smother my laughter, but was unsuccessful. I was happy to be out of the confines of my room, to sit in the drawing room where Rhys had once played nursemaid, taking care of my injured head.

“Would you like me to read to you?” Rhys asked.

His question made me pause. Reading did not sound at all appealing. It was too sedate. I wanted a bit of excitement now that I’d been released from my chamber. I cast my eyes about the room, looking for ideas. “Will you teach me to play chess?” I asked, spying an elaborate, decorative set in the corner.

“You’ve never played?”

I shook my head. “None of my sisters were interested. There didn’t seem much point in learning when I wouldn’t have a partner.”

“Well then.” He retrieved the table and brought it to stand in front of me. “We must begin your instruction right away. We haven’t a moment to lose.”

I admired the light in his eyes as he arranged the board to his satisfaction.

“This set was one of my father’s prized possessions. Silly, since it’s not worth very much, but he loved a good game.”

He explained the rules and I enjoyed the way he leaned over, forgetting his rigid posture, and the way he kept pushing his hair out of his eyes without realizing he did it. The afternoon was one of the loveliest I had spent in his company, and it made me long for the day we might put the trouble with Tobias behind us and start a life of our own.

Chapter 24

A
FTER
THREE
WEEKS
, Rhys finally agreed to let me shoot. I had been itching to use a bow and arrow, to release all the frustration and helplessness building up inside me.

“Are you certain you’re up for this?” Rhys asked once again as we walked across the lawn.
 

“You heard the doctor. He said it would be good for me.”

“He said it would be good for you to move more. I think archery might be a bit much.” The worry creasing his brow made me smile.

“I’m fine, Rhys.” I tried to sound convincing, but still caught him glancing at my side, where I had been cut. “Really, I am.”

He gave a decisive nod. “Well then, let’s see what you can do. I’ve been anxious to shoot with you ever since you cheated during our little competition.”

“Is it cheating if you do worse on purpose?”

“Yes.”

I suppressed a smile. “So is this a rematch?”

“No, we’re on the same team today.”

“Like we should have been then?” The thought surprised me as it left my mouth, giving me pause. “Have you ever wondered how things would have been different if you hadn’t had the arrangement with my parents?”

“Yes.”

My eyebrows up up. “You have?”

“I’ve given it a great deal of thought,” he admitted as he tested the tension on his bow.

“And?”

“There are too many unknowns. My life could have gone in fifty different directions. I could have been married, and even if I wasn’t and you had still stumbled into my stables, what reason would I have had to show up at the palace? I would have never seen you again after you left.”

“I would have sought you out.”

“You think so?”

“Yes.”

He smiled. “I would like to think that we would have found each other, but I wouldn’t want to risk it. Now,” he handed me an armguard. “Show me what you can do.”

I strapped on the guard and took my stance. I raised my left arm, trying to pull back with my right in one fluid stroke—and got stuck half way. My muscles wouldn’t obey my order to pull back all the way, and I had to release my draw altogether. I let out a little sigh of frustration.

“Don’t push too hard, Lylin. The last thing you want is to re-injure yourself.”

“It’s not that. My injury feels well healed, it’s just the muscles refusing to work after so much disuse.” I fisted my hand and rolled my shoulder, trying to stimulate the muscles.

“Forget, for the moment, trying to shoot an arrow.” He took the arrow from me. “Just practice drawing. Draw as far as you can and then ease off. Don’t try to hold it and don’t try to draw all the way.”

I did as he instructed, surprised by how sore I was by the time we returned inside, but happy that I had been able to achieve a full draw.

Over the next few days, I practiced often, not minding the soreness because I was so relieved to be active again. I even convinced Rhys to let me take Willow for a ride each day, though he insisted we keep it at a sedate walk.
 

We were sitting at breakfast and I was imagining the best way to cajole him into letting me increase the horse’s pace to a trot during our ride. We only had a few hours before my parents arrived to take me home, and I wanted to make the most of our time together. I opened my mouth to broach the subject when a guard entered, bowing as he apologized for the interruption. He leaned down and murmured something to Rhys, who immediately burst to his feet.
 

“When?”

“Late last night.”

“Where?” he asked, heading for the door.

“The inn at Farria.”

“Rhys?” I stood, calling to him before he disappeared.
 

He stopped to look at me for a moment before returning to me. The way he gripped my hands caused a feeling of dread to settle in my stomach.
 

“Tobias?”

He nodded. “I have to find him.”

“My father will be here in a matter of hours. Can’t you wait for him?”

He shook his head. “He could be gone in a matter of hours, and it’s my responsibility.”

“No, it’s not.”

He studied my face for several moments before speaking. “Whether it is my responsibility or not, I have to help.”

“Rhys, don’t—”

“Please? You know I have to do this.” He kissed me, squeezed my hands and then left without looking back.

“Rhys.” My pathetic plea fell flat in the empty room. I could only hope that he wanted resolution more than he wanted revenge.

As the echo of the door slamming died down, I tried to remember the conversation we had had on the subject.

“When Tobias is found, are you still going to go after him?”

We were playing chess. Rhys claimed I was doing well, but I knew that I was no match for his strategic mind.

He took a deep breath and blew it out before looking at me. “I know that you don’t want me to, and I understand why. But I truly feel this is something I have to do.”

“Is revenge worth risking your life?”

He gave me a sad smile and shook his head. “It’s not revenge. Maybe it was before, but that’s not my reason now. I’m not going to provoke him. I’m not going to attack him. It was you that made me realize that I could never live with myself if his blood were on my hands.”

“Then why go after him? Why take that risk?”

“I know my brother. And when this ends—if it ends—he will not come peacefully. If he is cornered, he will be vicious. He will hurt as many people as possible.”

His explanation increased my panic. “Then why would you put yourself in that position? I don’t understand, Rhys.”

“I want to prevent him from attacking. If it’s just me, then he won’t feel cornered—”

“So you want to confront him by yourself?” I stood, scattering chess pieces over the floor. “Rhys!”

“I just want to speak with him. I want to give him the chance to come without a fight. Perhaps I’m a fool for thinking that anything I could say would make a difference. I could very well make it worse. But I have to try.”

I sat, defeated. “You don’t.”

“I do, Lylin. Please try to understand.”

I shook my head, wanting to declare that I didn’t understand. But I did. I understood his loyalty to his brother. But I still feared it.

I opened my eyes after several minutes of worry. A steward finally asked if I was finished with my meal, and I allowed him to clear my dishes. I had no wish to eat anymore, so I removed myself to the drawing room and tried to sit still. Instead I found myself at the window, in front of the fireplace, sitting, standing, pacing as the minutes ticked by. It was a relief to hear the telltale sounds of a carriage.

“Where is Lord Fallon?” My father’s voice came from the entry and I went to meet him.

“Your Majesty, Lord Fallon has gone after his brother,” someone answered.

“When did he leave?”

“As soon as he found out. More than two hours past.”

I reached the doorway and watched the exchange between my father and the guard who had told Rhys of Tobias’s whereabouts. My mother and Lorraina stood silently behind him, listening.

“He has probably already reached Farria. Did he take anyone with him?”

“No, Sire. He insisted on going alone.”

My father let out a frustrated sigh. “Foolish man,” he muttered, then turned to my mother. “My dear, I will entrust you and Lorraina to Lylin and the good people here. I must try to catch up with Lord Fallon.”