Moments of Clarity (11 page)

Sasha chuckled, “So in other words, you're trying to get me to cook for you?”

“You don't have to cook. Just be in a good mood when I return.”

“When are you going to be home?” She eagerly anticipated another sexual encounter with Sexton.

“In a couple of days,” he replied. “I'll plan something for us to do.”

“I look forward to it.” Then she said before he hung up, “Take care.”

“I will, and you do the same.”

There was a tentative knock on her office door and Sasha said, “Now I really have to go. Someone's at the door.”

“Yeah, me too. Calvin's waving me over.”

Sasha looked up and Susie stood in the doorway with an apologetic look on her face. “I'm sorry to interrupt, but I need to talk to you about something.”

Sasha replied, “Actually, I'm glad you stopped by because I need to talk to you also. But you first. What can I do for you?”

Susie hesitated, then looked Sasha directly in the eye. “I need a raise. My son's daycare went up fifty dollars a week, and I just don't have the extra money to cover it.”

She gave Susie a look of sympathy. “I'm sorry to hear that. I know that daycare is expensive. Some women don't even find it worthwhile to work until the children go to school.”

“Well, I can't afford to stay home,” Susie countered stiffly. “My husband Paul has been laid off his job and we can barely make ends meet with just one paycheck.”

“I feel for you, but I can't give you a raise. You had your annual review just three months ago, and I feel the raise that came with that was quite generous. Most employees only got three percent, which is the average, but you got four because you were making around that when you were working third shift.”

“I know, Sasha,” Susie agreed. “It's just that I need more money.”

“I don't know whether you are going to like my solution. The reason why I needed to talk to you is because, as you know, you came to this department to work second shift and occasional weekends for which you would get time and a half. That was supposed to start after your trial period, which ended four months ago.”

Sasha tapped the desk calendar and said, “Starting next week your new shift will begin.”

Susie stuck her lips out her lips in anger. “I have a child. I don't know how you could spring this on me at the last minute and expect me to make accommodations.”

Sasha replied firmly, “I'm not springing anything on you. When you chose to switch to this department, I stipulated from the very beginning that I would work your shift for only a short period of time in order for you to learn your new position.”

Susie replied sulkily, “But you never complained or said that you wanted to switch.”

“I don't have to explain it to you, but it is not convenient for me to work nights or weekends anymore.” Sasha said strongly, “I'm the head nurse. No other one in the hospital works that shift.”

“But I don't have anyone to keep Dylan.”

Sasha replied gently, “How about his father? You said that he's not working.”

“He isn't, but he thinks that they are going to call him back to work in a month or so.”

“Well, until they do, I don't think that it's unreasonable for you to expect him to watch his son.” Sasha queried, “Do you?”

“No, not really,” she answered dully.

The next afternoon, Sasha had just completed the finishing touches of the schedule when her office phone rang. Picking up the receiver she said, “This is Ms. Diamond.”

“Miss Diamond.”

Sasha recognized the voice of the new intern, Lolita, who was performing the duties of a candy striper in order to fulfill the obligations of community service hours for a college scholarship. “There's a gentleman here to see you.”

“Is it the family member of a patient?”

“No, ma'am.” And then she whispered, “He said that he's a friend of yours.” Lolita lowered her voice even more, “He's fine.”

Sasha smothered a laugh.
It must be Sexton.
I'm getting ready to leave for the day anyhow, so tell him I'll be out in a minute.”

She grabbed her handbag from the file cabinet, snatched up her keys, hurriedly locked her office door, and walked down the hall to the nurses' station. As she approached the desk, her steps faltered when she realized that it was Abdul who stood there waiting for her.

Pursing her lips in displeasure, Sasha walked up to him and said sharply, “Why are you here?”

When Abdul looked at her, Sasha could tell by the tightness of his lips that he didn't appreciate her manner. “I need to talk to you,” he replied tightly.

Sasha observed Lolita and the other nurses pretending to work, but knew that they were listening to their conversation. Motioning for him to follow her, Sasha led Abdul into a nearby empty room. Once inside, she turned around and said, “The patient who occupied this room died the other day. I think that this is an appropriate setting for a discussion between the two of us because it represents what happened to our relationship.”

Abdul's eyes flashed fire, but his words were controlled. “You have the worst attitude, Sasha.”

She didn't answer him but stood there with her hands on her hips, glaring at him.

“I'm sorry about what happened.”

“Were you sorry when you were having sex with Pandora?”

“I wasn't having sex with her. She was having sex with me. There's a difference.”

Sasha made an indelicate snort of disgust. “Not to me there isn't.”

“I don't know why you're so angry. We never said that we were exclusive.”

“If you felt that what you were doing wasn't wrong, why did you keep it a secret?” she demanded.

Abdul didn't respond. He just stared at her.

“You took the choice from me. If you had come to me like a man and said that you wanted to see women other than me, it would have been my decision as to whether or not I wanted to be with you under those circumstances. But you knew that I would have said no and not given you the time of day. So, you sneaked.” Sasha's tone was derisive, “And you sneaked because you wanted me to only see you.”

“It didn't happen that often.”

“Once is more than enough,” Sasha retorted. “I think that the way you're taking advantage of Pandora is the worst. You know that she's young, and dumb, and you're using her.”

“She ain't that young. Pandora is over twenty-one and she went into our arrangement with her eyes wide open. She knew what she was doing. Young girls ain't what they used to be,” he replied.

“Just because she's sexually active, it doesn't mean that she's mature.”

“She's mature enough to know what to do in order to please a man. You don't know how to let a man be the leader!”

“If you knew how to lead, I might follow you!” she sneered. “But excuse the hell out of me because I don't want to follow you into the poor house. That's something I can do without! Why makes you think you deserve two women? You don't even deserve one.”

Abdul's eyes glittered with a harshness that she had never seen before. “You drove me to do that. If you weren't so old fashioned in bed and could handle your business, I wouldn't have found the need to seek what I need elsewhere.”

Sasha got white hot with anger and her reply was shrill. “Don't try to blame your cheating ways on me.”

“Did you notice what Pandora was doing for me?” he paused, “You wouldn't! If a woman is really trying to please her man, that's what she does.”

“You're disgusting, Abdul. First of all, I wasn't feeling it. Second of all, any sex that you got from me was far more than you deserved. It's not as if you made me feel like climbing a mountain.”

Abdul continued trying to gloss over his behavior by blaming her. “You never were in our relationship for the long haul. You never really went out of your way for me, Sasha. When a woman goes out of her way for a man sexually, it means that she really loves him and is in it for keeps. When was the last time you even cooked a meal for me?”

There was a long silence in the room as Sasha digested his words. She deliberately let her eyes rest on the fly of his pants, and then she stated quietly, “You're right.”

Abdul became even angrier with Sasha's casual acceptance of his words, but he tried to disguise it and do some damage control. “Having said that, I do miss you, and I came here today,” he stopped at the incredulous look on Sasha's face and cleared his throat, “hoping that we could try to heal this breach between us. I'll fire Pandora and we can start fresh.”

“No, thank you, Abdul. If I want a dog, I'll go to the pound,” Sasha answered without hesitation.

Abdul sucked in a deep breath and said, “You're still angry. Let it go.”

“I'm not really all that angry,” Sasha denied. “Obviously I'm disappointed in you, but I'm just not interested in seeing you anymore. What drew me to you in the first place was respect, and I have none of that for you now.”

“I know that I've complained about, let's just say about the lack of variety in our sexual relationship, but I really miss us, Sasha. You really are an expert in every other department. Can't we spend at least one more time together?” He paused, trying to sound cajoling, “How about tonight, for old times' sake?”

Sasha stared at Abdul, appalled that he could ever suggest such a thing. She made another indelicate snorting sound through her nose and replied brutally, “You sure think more highly of your dick than you ought to. No, thanks, I've been there and done that.”

Anger and jealousy stole across his face and then he said heatedly, “You think that I don't know what's really going on with you? Pandora told me about seeing you at the basketball game with your rich friend, getting all out of a limo trying to shine.” He stared at her and his nostrils flared with anger. “And I saw you going into Sylvia's with that basketball player, thinking you were all that. Nothing's going to come of it because he's just playing with you.”

Sasha began to laugh. “So that's why you're here? And who are you to talk about a person's motives? You must be worried about something or you wouldn't be trying to slip in the back door.” Sasha stared at his glowering expression and finished by saying, “You and Pandora are a match made in heaven. Go to her, Abdul. I don't ever want to see you again.”

Abdul stood his ground and looked Sasha up and down. “I didn't want none no how,” he sneered. “I was just trying you, to see what you were gonna say.”

This made Sasha laugh even harder. “You know you're lying. You just trying to play it off and say you don't want none because you can't get none.” She flung open the door for him to exit and it banged up against the wall with a loud thud.

Abdul slowly walked out the doorway. Then he stopped and turned. Just as he was about to say something Sasha kicked the door closed, and the decisive sound as it clicked shut ended their conversation once and for all.

* * *

Sasha was on the way to the grocery store and was still reeling from the scene with Abdul when she almost collided with Tiara. “Girl, what's your hurry? You almost knocked me down.”

Flustered she said, “I'm sorry. I didn't see you.”

Sasha eyed the bags Tiara carried and said mischievously, “Girlfriend looks like she's been doing some shopping.”

“I don't need your permission to spend money, do I? It's not yours, is it?” Tiara gave Sasha a prickly look.

“I was just making an observation, Tiara. What the hell is wrong with you?”

There was a long, uncomfortable silence, and the next words Tiara spoke were considerably softer. “I know that I shouldn't be spending money, but I was feeling depressed. I just felt that I deserved something.”

“Then go ahead and treat yourself. You've been through a lot lately.”

Tiara searched Sasha's face. Satisfied with what she saw she said, “Are you on your way home?”

“Yes, but I have to pick up some grocery items first.”

“Why aren't you at work?” Tiara asked.

“I'm just leaving, but I'm taking a few days off because my hours will be different when I return.”

Tiara lifted her eyebrow. “Really?”

“Yeah, I'm tired of working nights and I've paid my dues. I want to work nine to five like normal people.” In an attempt to make Tiara laugh she added, “That's why I went to college.”

Tiara smiled her response and then she looked at her Gucci wristwatch and said, “I have to get going. I got a permanent sub job at the school, and that means that I'm getting paid as a sub but I do the work of a teacher. I have papers to grade for tomorrow.”

Sasha stared at Tiara's retreating back and shook her head as she watched her throw her Bergdorfs and Bloomingdale bags in the back seat of her Lexus SUV and take off in a hurry.

There must be a full moon tonight because people are really getting on my nerves.

Chapter 9

Sasha was standing in front of the meat case at Wholesome Foods when her cell phone rang. She smiled when she saw Sexton's number and spoke into the mouthpiece, “Are you back?”

“Yes, ma'am. We got in about an hour or so ago. Do you want to get together tonight?”

He sounded so sexy that Sasha felt a sudden moistness in her groin area. “That sounds great.”

“Why don't we grab a bite to eat?”

“Sounds like a winner to me,” she readily agreed. “How about around seven?”

“See you then.”

“Sexton?”

“Yes?”

“Dress casually,” she ordered.

“Yes, ma'am,” he replied.

* * *

Sasha hurriedly unpacked her groceries and placed them on the kitchen counter. Glancing up at the clock on the kitchen wall, she noted that she had only an hour and a half before she was expecting Sexton to arrive.

She walked over to the LCD television and pressed her TiVo list for
Oprah
. The topic of the show today was how to help children in Africa and where to send donations to help build schools. Sasha quickly scribbled on a pad the toll-free number that was on the bottom of the screen. Then she turned up the volume so she could hear the show while she cooked dinner.

After she prepared rice and succotash, she left the pork chops to simmer on low. She again glanced at the clock and realized that Sexton should be arriving within thirty minutes.

Hurriedly, she peeled off her clothes and stepped into the shower. She gave an involuntary shudder as the spray of cold water hit her body and then relaxed after the temperature adjusted and hot water sprayed her.

She gave her face a thorough cleansing with her facial bar while in the shower and completed her routine with astringent and moisturizer after she got out. The only makeup she applied was eyebrow liner and a coral lipstick for color.

Then she reached for a bottle of pure shea butter and applied it from her neck to her feet. She finished by spraying her favorite perfume, Insolence, in the air and walking through it.

Crossing into the bedroom she opened a drawer and pulled out thong underwear and bra. After quickly donning them, she reached into her jewelry box and put on a small pair of hoop earrings with matching necklace.

Sasha was standing in front of her closet, absently chewing her bottom lip in concentration, when she heard her doorbell ring. “Just a minute,” she yelled. Grabbing a dress with a zipper down the front, she quickly put it on and hurried down the hall.

Sexton stared at the lovely vision Sasha made as she stood in the archway. She had pinned her hair in a top knot and several tendrils on each side had escaped and framed the delicate features of her face.

Sasha reached her hand out to him and he let himself be drawn into her charm.

“I smell something good in here, and it's not just you.” He slapped her playfully on her behind.

“You sure do. I kind of figured that after your road trip and eating out for days you might like a home cooked meal.”

Sexton followed Sasha into the kitchen. He towered over her as she lifted the lids off the pots to show him what she had prepared. “You like?” she added, pleased with the expression on his face.

“I like,” Sexton replied softly and lifted her hand turned it over and kissed the area just below her wrist.

* * *

Sasha watched Sexton as he ate his second helping of food. “I TiVoed your games while you were gone.”

“You did?” he said.

“I sure did. You're moving up in the world. You played at least one quarter in each game,” she said teasingly.

Sexton gave her a wry look. “Sasha got jokes.”

She laughed. “I saw the first two games, but I had to work the night you played the third so I watched it later. In the second game, it seemed as if that rookie from the Suns was deliberately baiting you.”

“Everyone does that. If the other team can make you lose your cool they have the advantage. Mind control can be the difference between winning and losing.”

“It's kind of like that in medicine. We have some patients that we know aren't going to make it because they've given up hope, and then we have others that we don't think will live and they end up recovering and going on to live healthy lives for years.”

Sexton said abruptly, “Calvin didn't travel back with the team. He caught an earlier flight. He wanted to get back to New York as soon as possible because Tiara is having such a hard time adjusting to the single life.”

Sasha looked at Sexton for a minute and then said, “Tiara acts as if she's angry at the world. I'm getting a little tired of her attitude. She and I have been best friends forever, but I'm sick of bearing the brunt of her anger. She's not the first woman, and certainly not going to be the last, to have her man cheat on her. Maybe she should try to deal with the blow that has been dealt to her and move on.”

“That's not easy for some people. Give her more time.”

“I have no other choice. I'm certainly not going to cut her out of my life. That would be hard for me as well as for her.” Sasha stood and picked up Sexton's empty plate. Putting it in the sink full of warm water, she motioned for him to follow her into the den. Sasha had muted the television while they ate. Now she handed the remote to Sexton, giving him a knowing look when he immediately changed the channel to ESPN.

“Are you scheduled to work the night of the twentieth?” Sasha had returned to the kitchen and he watched her through the pass-through window that divided the den and kitchen.

She quickly put leftovers into containers and placed them in the refrigerator, then stacked the dishwasher. “No,” she responded. “I'm not scheduled to work any more Saturday nights. My shift has changed at the hospital and starting Monday, I'm a nine-to-five girl Monday through Friday.”

“How did that end up happening?”

“I decided that I want to have a life,” she murmured quietly.

Pleasure was written all over Sexton's face. “Coach's wife is having a birthday party for him at their house and I want us to go.”

“What kind of attire?” She sank down on the couch and sat close enough to him that she got a whiff of his cologne.

“Usually their parties are dressy-casual. Everyone connected to the team will be there.”

“That sounds interesting,” she said musingly. “Now what shall I wear?”

“Of course that is the question of all questions.”

“Well, I don't want to embarrass you in front of your friends at my coming out party.”

“Honey, you couldn't embarrass me if you were dressed in a potato sack. You have a way about you that is truly mesmerizing. I noticed it the night we met. You were in a roomful of men, yet I didn't see you policing the area trying to figure out who would be the best catch. When I was a teenager, my mom told me what to look for in a woman.”

“And you think I'm it?” Sasha asked.

He thought her eyes looked like liquid fire in the soft light. “I knew from the moment I saw you that you're the kind of woman that a man could leave behind on a road trip and not have to worry about another man sleeping in his bed while he was gone.”

Sexton gently touched her cheek with his finger. “I just love the way you tilt your head when you're listening to what someone is saying, and your walk is one of the sexiest I've ever seen. It's not overdone like the models on the catwalk, but every person in your vicinity becomes focused on your movements. You carry yourself like a queen.”

The ringing telephone shattered the sexual tension in the room and Sasha listened for the caller I.D. to identify who it was. When the automated voice said, “Cellular, Long Island,” she looked at Sexton and said, “It's Tiara. She'll leave a message if it's important.” There was silence and then the sound of the dial tone.

“I guess it's not,” Sexton said.

Sasha repeated his words and stood. “I guess it's not.” With her back to him she unzipped the front of her dress and stepped out of the pool it made around her feet. Sasha bent over, and picked it up, then threw it to land in Sexton's lap. Clad only in her bra and thong, she turned and headed down the hallway with Sexton following on her heels. Her bedroom was lit with scented candles, seemingly waiting for them.

* * *

Sasha visited Mr. Ramirez during her morning break. “How about a game of cards?” She stood at the end of his bed reading his chart. Once she had entered his room and seen the pallor on his face she had become nervous; his condition had rapidly deteriorated during the weekend.

“I hope you don't mind if we skip it today. I'm feeling unusually tired.”

Sasha attempted to mask her worry by smiling brightly. “I know that you're just tired of beating me, and I'm glad that you decided to give us a break. Before we duel again, I need to practice on someone else.”

Mr. Ramirez made an effort and gave her a weak smile. “Sasha, don't end up alone like me.”

There was a tense silence in the room. “You're not alone. You have me.”

“But what if there is no one like you for yourself?” He leaned over to his nightstand and handed her a sealed envelope. “The chaplain was in to see me earlier today and I wrote a few things down. He has a copy of it because I wasn't sure that you would make it in today.”

“I'm here all day now. That means when you're awake, I'm here.”

“That's a good thing.” Mr. Ramirez's voice became stronger and his face brightened. “How's that new man of yours?”

“Not too shabby, if I say so myself. We're going to a party at his coach's house Saturday night.”

“Good. You're young. You need to be around life, not death.” Sadness hung in the air after Mr. Ramirez's words.

Sasha's spectra link buzzed and she pressed the button. “Sasha Diamond.”

Lolita spoke so low that Sasha could barely hear her. “You have a visitor at the front desk, and this one is even finer than the last.”

Sasha knew that it had to be Sexton. “He is, isn't he?” she bragged. “Can you direct him to Mr. Ramirez's room?”

“I'll walk him myself,” Lolita replied eagerly.

Sasha looked at Mr. Ramirez with a wry smile because of Lolita's words. “I want you to meet him,” she said quietly.

Sasha became ever more amused when Lolita entered the room with Sexton in tow, because her expression spoke volumes.

“Thank you,” Sasha smiled at her.

Lolita grinned at Sasha as she walked out, and from behind Sexton's back she mouthed the words, “Oh my goodness!”

“I came by to tell you that Coach wants me and Calvin to travel to Philadelphia, and we won't be back until Friday night.”

“Why does he want you to go there?”

“To do public relations stuff for the team. There's a basketball camp for underprivileged kids this summer and he wants me to run a sort of mini-camp. Calvin is going to give a workshop on how to stretch and limber up before playing a sport.”

“So I won't see you for the rest of the week?”

“No. That will give you a chance to miss me.”

“I miss you already,” Sasha said with a small pout on her lips.

Then, as if she suddenly remembered where they were and that they were not alone, she said, “I'm glad you stopped by because I want you to meet my favorite patient.”

Sexton walked over to where Mr. Ramirez was sitting propped up in the bed and extended his hand, “Nice to meet you, sir. Sasha has told me a lot about you.”

“Same here.” He looked Sexton over and a look of acceptance crossed his face. “You have a gold mine in that one,” he said, pointing at Sasha as she blushed.

“I know,” Sexton agreed. “She's a keeper.”

Once they were alone Mr. Ramirez eyed Sasha shrewdly. “I like your young man.”

“I like him, too.”