Moments of Clarity (17 page)

“I like thick women,” he said with a smile. “When I was a little boy I was fascinated by women's breasts. I couldn't figure out why there were so many different sizes and shapes. Then when I was a teenager I changed into a butt man, the rounder the better.” He looked her up and down. “Now that I'm full grown, I want the mixed bucket of chicken. I like butt and breasts. Besides, no one but a dog wants a bone.”

Sasha knew that he was trying to lighten her mood. The weak smile she gave him let him know that she appreciated his efforts.

Sexton cleared his throat. “Are you going to the hospital morgue to see your friend?”

Sasha made a face. “If he's still there. County may have him because he was pretty much destitute. They'll give him a five or six hundred dollar funeral.”

“That's sad,” Sexton replied gently. “I text messaged Calvin and Coach to let them know that I wouldn't be in for conditioning until this afternoon. I know that you have to leave for work now, but I'll be right behind you.”

“Thanks,” Sasha replied gratefully.

“Don't go and see him until I get there,” Sexton instructed gently.

Sasha stood up and walked over to where Sexton sat. She gave Sexton a kiss that held more gratitude than sexual desire.

* * *

As she sat at her desk in her office and stared at the envelope, she blinked back tears. Mr. Ramirez had scrawled in large letters,
To my daughter, Sasha Diamond
. She heard a rapping on her door and looked up.

Lolita pushed open the door and said with eyes as big as saucers, “He's here.”

Sexton walked into the room and asked Sasha gently, “Are you ready to go and say goodbye to your friend?”

“He's gone. I was waiting for you before I opened this.”

Sexton didn't answer, he just sat down in the chair across from her desk.

Sasha carefully slit it open and withdrew the letter. It had three pages. She quickly scanned the contents, then carefully read it three times before placing it back in the envelope. Sasha tried to reseal it and, when the flap wouldn't stick, she pounded the back of the envelope with her fist.

Sexton leaned forward and took the envelope. Then he pulled a long piece of tape from the desk dispenser, calmly sealed the envelope, and then handed it back to her.

For a minute there was silence in the room. Then Sasha said, and her voice sounded far away. “He wants to be cremated. He left a separate letter for Anita with his wishes.”

Sexton looked surprised. “Does the hospital do that?”

“No, because it costs between two and three thousand dollars,” she responded quietly. “But he wouldn't have known that.”

“If your friend wanted to be cremated, we'll cremate him,” Sexton stated with authority.

The rest of the day, Sexton stayed by her side as she made the arrangements. They went to the crematorium that the hospital recommended and arranged to have Mr. Ramirez's remains delivered to her afterward.

* * *

Friday morning, Sasha and Sexton managed to find a place of solitude on the Long Island Ferry. She stood inside the circle of Sexton's arms and following the instructions of Miguel Ramirez, bending over the rail and letting his ashes float into the water.

After they arrived home from scattering the ashes, Sexton asked her to play a game of cards with him. Sensing the denial that was forming on her lips, he held the deck out to her and said quietly, “For your friend.”

As they sat at the table and began to play, Sasha soon saw that Sexton was not going to allow her to have a pity party and take it easy on her.

Hand after hand, he kept his edge, and before long his total reached five hundred, “Game,” he announced, “Mr. Ramirez would have enjoyed his send-off,” he finished quietly.

The accuracy of those words made her realize how in tune he was to her feelings and how much she'd come to rely on him for support and comfort when she needed it.

That night, as her body lay tangled with Sexton's, she felt overwhelmed with thankfulness that he had come into her life. In no other relationship had she felt such intimacy. But instead of being afraid of her feelings for him, she relished them.

She looked over at Sexton's sleeping body. He slept on his stomach, and the sight of his buttocks as they rose and fell with his breathing ignited a curling sensation in her gut.

She reached over and softly slid the palm of her hand from his shoulder blade to the top of his thigh. Feeling her touch in his sleep, Sexton rolled over onto his back. She stared at amusement at his penis standing at attention and ready for inspection.

Sasha began to gently fondle him as if she were using Braille and was trying to understand every thought and feeling that he'd ever had.

She was suddenly aware that her touch had awakened him. He was watching her through hooded eyes as he gave her full access to his body.

Smiling in the darkness at his open invitation, Sasha began to play with him. She took the palms of her hand and massaged his chest with circular motions. Then she pulled her body up and half covered his so that she could feather kisses along the area that she had just touched. Sexton closed his eyes and let his head sink back into the pillow.

She took her forefinger and drew an imaginary line down the center of his body, from the top of his chest to his navel. Then she followed the path with her tongue, all the while keeping the firm yet soft hold she had on the power between his thighs.

He began to moan, and he hardened even more inside her hand as she gripped him, slightly eased the pressure, and then gripped him again.

Feeling a power she had never felt before, Sasha slid her body down until her face was positioned just below his navel. She cocked her head to the side and reached for him.

Sasha felt Sexton's body flinch from surprise. First, she took her tongue and leisurely licked the tip of his penis. Then she let her tongue trail up and down the sides.

Sexton's body jerked upwards and his feet moved in excitement. Then she took him completely into her mouth. Several times, Sexton convulsed, and when it felt as if he were going to pull away from her, she stilled his movements, flattening the palm of her hand against his body.

For what seemed to be a time without end, Sasha pleasured Sexton and only when she felt he was on the brink of losing control did she pull away from him.

Immediately, he pulled Sasha up to him and after gently easing her onto her stomach he lifted her buttocks and then slid easily into her.

Her body was moist from the pleasure that had built inside her while she had pleasured him and they climaxed together.

Sasha awoke a few hours later and saw Sexton was sleeping in a position that he never had before. He was turned onto his side in the fetal position and appeared to be sleeping as soundly as a baby. Peering over at him, she smothered a laugh at the smile plastered on his lips. As Sasha watched Sexton sleep she spoke softly, “I love you, and I'm glad that I do.”

Because she was so intent on not disturbing him, she didn't see Sexton's eyes flutter open at the sound of her words. Then, with a smile, he closed them again.

* * *

Sexton looked at his wristwatch as he drove the turnpike to Ridgefield. “We're going to be a little late getting to your sister's house.”

“Anytime from one o'clock until two will be good for her.”

“I couldn't get you out of bed.”

“We couldn't get each other out of bed,” she corrected him in an affable tone. “You should feel special. She has never invited any of my other boyfriends to her house.”

Sexton shot Sasha a look. “Why do you think that is?”

“Obviously she didn't think that they were worthy.” Sasha decided to leave out the fact that she had always told them not to bother because she didn't think the relationship was going anywhere. “I hope that she doesn't like you too much. I don't know what I would do if she actually liked someone that I want.”

Sexton looked at her teasingly. “So you want me?”

“Obviously.” Sasha let her hand drop between Sexton's legs and she cupped him.

“What are you trying to do? Incite me to make a quick pit stop at a hotel on the way? Then we would really be late for your sister's affair.”

Sexton's voice was laced with desire and the throatiness made her squirm in the seat of the Escalade. “We could do that. So what if we're two hours late? At least we would be putting our time to good use,” she replied flippantly.

Sexton looked at the exit they were approaching and slowed the SUV down, pretending to exit. Sasha laughed and said, “I was only kidding.”

“I know.” Sexton straightened the wheel. “I was just calling your bluff.”

“How did you know that I didn't mean what I said?”

“You wouldn't be that inconsiderate of your family when you know that they're waiting for us. That's one of the many things that I love about you.”

Sasha looked at Sexton from the corner of her eye and, clearing her voice, she said, “You know, that was a virgin act I performed on you the other night in bed.”

“I know,” Sexton said, grinning at her with satisfaction.

The smug look on his face made Sasha want to be contrary. “You don't really know that. You just hope.”

“No,” he responded with certainty. “I knew that was your first time. A man can always tell.”

Sasha was put out. “Are you trying to say that it wasn't good?”

“I would never say something like that. It's just that I felt teeth.”

“What?”

“I felt teeth. I knew that you were a novice because I felt teeth. If a woman tells a guy that she's never done that sort of thing before and you don't feel her teeth you know that she's lying. Seasoned women know how to grip with their mouth so you don't feel them.”

Feeling mortified Sasha muttered, “And I thought that I was really doing something.”

“You
were
really doing something. As long as you didn't gnaw my boy off. I was so overjoyed that you made the effort it made me want to touch the ceiling.” Sexton placed his hand on Sasha's bare thigh. “I'll show you what I like. And I have a feeling that you're a quick study.”

There was silence for a while and then Sasha said, not knowing what else to say, “Two hours is a long way to drive for a meal.”

Allowing her to change the subject, Sexton looked at Sasha and said, “The purpose of this visit is not to eat. It's so your sisters can smoke me over.”

She giggled. “I know, but don't blame me. Dominique invited you and you readily agreed. This is your doing.”

“I don't have a problem meeting your family. There are no skeletons in my closet.” The GPS began to beep and Sexton said, “I see we're not too far from your sister's house.”

“No, we're not. Their house is on the outskirts of town. They wanted enough land for the twins to have horses to ride.”

“Sounds like a plan.” His eyes were enigmatic as they met hers.

Sexton pulled off the interstate. Soon they turned down a small country lane and he had to slow his SUV for a family of ducks crossing the road to a small pond. “Would you ever like to live in an area this rural?” he asked, watching her carefully.

“I don't think so. I like the hustle and bustle of the city. There's an energy in New York that no other city in the world can compete with. There's always something to do.”

“Would you like to raise kids in the city?”

“I don't know. Obviously people's priorities change with time. I know that a person's mind can change at the drop of a hat and things that you thought that you would never want can become something that you want very much.” She avoided his eyes because they always seem to see into her very soul. She spotted the long, winding driveway that was the entrance to her sister's estate. “We're here.”

The house was a large stone front Tudor style. Two large marble lions flanked the double doors. The minute Sexton shut off the engine, the front door opened and Dominique and Desiree appeared.

Sexton looked at Sasha. “Are you sure you guys aren't triplets?” he teased.

“You knew from the pictures at my loft that we look very similar.”

“I can't wait to meet your parents. They're to be commended for gracing the world with such beauties.”

Dominique and Desiree stood at the top of the steps waiting for them to get out. As Sasha sat and waited for Sexton to open her car door she intercepted the look that passed between her sisters.

Sexton followed Sasha up the steps and the sisters converged into a group hug. Once they broke their embrace, Sasha turned and introduced him with pride. “This is Sexton Johnson.” Sasha pointed to Dominique. “This is my sister Dominique and,” pointing at Desiree, “you remember meeting Desiree.”

“Nice to meet you.” Sexton nodded at Dominique.

Sasha felt a wave of satisfaction at the look on Dominique's face. She was trying not to stare, but Sasha realized that would be a hard thing to avoid. Television didn't do Sexton justice. Today he was a real hunk in his carpenter style denim shorts, white polo shirt and white sneakers.

She, too, was casually dressed. Her hair was tied back with a yellow ribbon and she wore white shorts with a yellow and white striped polo shirt. Yellow espadrilles crisscrossed halfway up her leg.

Sexton turned and smiled at Desiree. “Nice to see you again. It's been too long.”

“You're telling me.” Desiree pointed her finger at him. “You know, the night I met you I had a feeling that I would be seeing you again. However, it did take a little longer than I expected.”

Sexton gave Desiree a look. “It took a little convincing to get Sasha to believe that I have only her best interests at heart.”

Dominique finally found her voice. “Well, it looks like she's on board now.”

Desiree began to laugh and Sasha shot her a quelling look. “Where are my brothers-in-law?”